Eighty-Five
Arrows to Knees…and Hearts

Fennekin was not exactly the happiest flower in the garden, but today, she was extra grouchy.

You know why?

Because today was Valentine's Day, the most pointless holiday in the history of mankind, a pointless day of handing out cheesy cards and going on dates and spreading love.

Ugh.

So.

Gross.

It didn't help that Reeveee21 found it fit to decorate the box like the Valentine's Day section in Walmart had thrown up on the place, with paper hearts taped and glued everywhere and a pink-tinted background. The normal couch had been replaced with a vibrant red loveseat, vase upon vase of roses was sitting on every table (courtesy of Shaymin), and the entire place smelled of chocolate and flowers. There were even little sparkles floating down from the narrating platform, like it was raining shiny stuff or something…

…ROTOM, CAP THAT BOTTLE RIGHT NOW! NO, I DON'T CARE IF IT MAKES IT SPARKLEY, YOU'RE GONNA SPAWN ONE-EYED CARROTS OR SOMETHING!

Anyways…*ahem*…

If everything was a shade darker and much more serious, Fennekin would call it her lair.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Haaaaaapy V-Day, Fen-Fen!" Rotom screamed in her ear. He then resumed cackling and throwing Shiny's contents everywhere-STOP THAT! THERE ARE RAW CARROTS IN THE ROOM!

"Be quiet," Fennekin hissed.

Who, me or Rotom?

"Both."

. . .

"Oh my gosh, isn't this holiday ROMANTIC!" Serperior squealed to Zoroark. "Hey, has anyone asked you out?!"

"Well actually," Zoroark raised a claw, "I was asked on a date by a Scyther!"

Lucario suddenly materialized in her face.

"DO YOU KNOW THIS 'MON?"

"Err, no—"

"DO YOU KNOW HE'S SAFE?"

"It's a blind date—"

"I DON'T TRUST HIM."

"Lu—"

"HE HAD SWORDS AS HANDS."

"All Scyther do—"

"HE HAS SWORDS AS HANDS."

While the two were snout-to-snout, one side arguing while the other protested, Serperior sighed, murmuring, "Over-protective brothers…"

Flygon sipped his coffee with a warm smile.

"What are you happy about?" Chestnaught asked. "Aren't you kind of a grumpy person?"

"My wife and I are going out to dinner tonight," he answered.

"Oh, okay then."

...processing…

Chestnaught did a spit-take. "Wait, you're married?!"

"Of course!" Flygon huffed. "I have five kids at home!"

"Whoooaaaaa," Luxio whistled. "…how does that—"

"No."

"But why not—"

"This is a K plus fi-."

"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

CRACK!

Pit came crashing down from the narrating platform, landing smack-dab on the loveseat and breaking it in half. Absol and Swellow, both of which were previously sitting on the couch, slouched into him and his dent.

"What gives, angel?!" Swellow squawked.

"Sorry…Agumon pushed me off," he sighed.

"For what?"

Five minutes earlier, in the narrating platform…

Percy had taken temporary leave while on a date with Annabeth (and, you know, explaining where he had been for about ten months), leaving the others to do their Valentine's Day rituals.

Agumon was currently scheming on one of the whiteboards and not letting anyone else see, muttering to himself and sending pointed glances at the author and Pit every now and then.

Dark Pit had tightly blindfolded himself before this all started, stating, "All this mushy love stuff is gonna make me go blind." He then promptly tripped over a couch arm, so we're not entirely sure what's worse.

Zelda was texting Link back and forth:

-So Link, u ready for 2-nite?

Ready as I'll ever be! But what's with the weird language?-

-It's Text Speak! Get with the times.

I'm the HERO of Time, I don't need no second language!-

-Not even English instead of grunts? Half the fan base thinks you're mute BTW

Maybe I am-

-0_0 …

…NAH, let's leave that for the fans.-

Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that Reevee21 was typing that—I think you get the idea.

And Pit was acting casual. Or at least as casual as an angel makes himself during a day involving arrow-shooting angels. Which is more of an awkward casual…I totally just wrote an entire paragraph on how angels act casual!

"Hey, Pit!" Agumon giggled, dashing over to him. "Got any plans for tonight?!"

"Nope! I'm completely free," he shrugged.

"That's great!" Agumon grinned. "By the way, did you know that Reevee21 has no boyfriend, lover, or crush, whatsoever?"

"Did she tell you that?" Zelda piped.

"Yes," Agumon nodded solemnly.

"A girl is not going to outright tell you she doesn't have a crush, Agumon. Think things through," Zelda huffed.

Agumon froze and slowly turned back to his expertly-graphed…graph…of…that better not be me and Pit kissing…

"I-it's not!" Agumon squeaked as Reevee21 whirled around to glare at him. He also swatted his claw at Pit's lower legs, knocking him off the platform.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa—"

A Smash Bros-styled explosion went off where the angel fell.

"What Pit, anyway? I see no Pit, and frankly it is hard to imagine there ever was a Pit, in plain sight or otherwise," Agumon explained. "There never was a Pit, there never is a Pit, and there never will be a Pit in this exact location. You must be nearsighted, or farsighted, or maybe blindfolded, because there is quite obviously no. Pit. Here."

Reevee21 spend a few more moments glaring before muttering, "In other words, 'I see no pumpkin, and frankly it is hard to imagine there ever was a pumpkin, in plain sight or otherwise'."

"That's exactly what I'm saying! No Pit here!"

"Hey, I'm here, aren't I?" Dark Pit growled…in the opposite direction.

Back in the present…

"—and now I'm here!" Pit finished, his arms folded behind his head.

"Does…does that pose hurt your wings…at all?" Absol squeamishly inched away from Pit's awkwardly-folded wings.

"Yes, and I think I might have broken something, but this is the Couch of Painful Pose…" he sighed.

"Yea…I got stuck reading a book like that once," Swellow sighed. "I can recall every word of that page."

"Well excuse me," Absol held his paws up in deadpan.

"…anyway, with me stuck here and Dark Pit being blindfolded…looks like you're cupid!" Pit decided.

"Wait, what?!"

A chunk of Absolite was randomly shot from the closet, knocking Absol in the head.

"OW!"

One Sailor-Moon-styled Mega Evolution later…

"That…was unnecessary," Mega Absol huffed. "I mean, claw polish, really? Who does that?!"

"Soooooo…you're Cupid?" Swellow asked. "What does Cupid do?"

Shaymin pranced up to them, wearing a pink tu-tu for some reason, and happily explained.

"Cupid is a Greek, mythical cherubim who can make people either attracted to each other with his dove-feathered arrows or make them hate each other with his owl-feathered arrows!" Shaymin happily explained. "And in the game Werewolf (French game, look it up), the Cupid is in charge of making two players fall in love! Thus, your job, Mega Absol, is to set up two of the Pokémon on a date!"

"Why me?! Why not Swellow or Rotom or someone else who can fly?!" Mega Absol groaned.

"Because you have white, feathery wings and Pit deemed you a Cupid," Shaymin stated matter-of-factly.

"Well yea, but…jeesh, I look like a girl!" Mega Absol looked over himself, flapping the feathery wings on his back.

One of which slapped Swellow in the beak.

"…whoops."

"Well, have fun!" Pit grinned. "I'll just be waiting to get out of this pose…I really hope this isn't contorting my wings all weird…anybody know a Chansy?"

"Nope," Mega Absol shrugged.

"Darn it…"

Playing Cupid with Mega Absol~!

"Alright, now let's see if I can notch an arrow with no thumbs…" Mega Absol hummed.

Reevee21 had granted him the use of a cloud to spy on the Pokémon from above, even when he protested that he wouldn't have been able to stand on it, as well as one of Pit's spare bows and two quivers of arrows: one with Pidove feathers, one with Hoothoot feathers.

…since there aren't really any real animals in Pokémon. I'm sure the Gulper Eel could tell you more.

Now, Mega Absol was sprawled on his cloud like it was an oversized pillow ("Well, this is What Goes Down in the PC, so I guess I CAN lay on water molecules in midair…"), with his bow in one hand and the quivers leaning against him.

Now came the fun part.

"Alright, let's see who we've got here…" he stroked his chin with his free paw, fixing the Pokémon below with a pensive gaze. "Zoroark's going on a date with a Scyther, I overheard…if Lucario's going to let her, that is."

The two were still arguing, Lucario running a background check and Zoroark pleading him to stop.

"Flygon's married," he hummed again, "Pit's stuck on the couch, Kirlia and Treecko are gone…"

He shrugged, pulled an arrow at random, and aimed it at Serperior.

TWANG!

The arrow struck Serperior and she suddenly gained an air of disinterest, slithering away from the bickering siblings with a "who cares, love's only for the cheesy Disney movies, anyway!"

TWANG!

"GRACIDEA FLOWER, I LOVE YOU!" Shaymin squealed, entrapping her Gracidea flower in a bear hug.

TWANG!

"Ugh…suddenly, I hate this laptop," Charizard growled before throwing his computer on the floor and stomping on it repeatedly.

TWUNG!

"Whoops," Absol hissed as the arrow missed its target.

It bounded off the table, off the wall, right over Pit's head ("WHOA!"), shattered Flygon's coffee mug mid-sip, knocked against Luxio as he pulled off the refrigerator door for a shield, and finally stuck one of the most unexpected Pokémon in the back…

Fennekin.

Roughly five hours later…

Coming back to reality, the first thing Fennekin saw was Frogadier staring oddly at her.

From across a table.

In a fancy restaurant.

On Valentine's Day.

"WHAT THE WHA?!" Fennekin yipped, jumping so high backwards she flipped the chair over and crashed onto the floor.

"Aha!" Frogadier exclaimed dramatically, holding up the arrow he had pulled out of her fur. "It WAS one of Cupid's arrows! …that explains a lot."

"Oh Arceus what did I do," Fennekin stated, dread showing in her eyes.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh," Frogadier flashed a bad poker face, "you declared world peace on all Froakie and their evolutions—"

"D'oh!" Fennekin face-pawed.

"—then you repeatedly swooned over me throughout the day-" Frogadier continued.

"D'oh again!" Fennekin double-face-pawed.

"And then finally accepted me taking you out on a date," Frogadier listed, "and we did a whole lot of fluff."

"How much fluff…?" Fennekin whined from under her paws.

"So much fluff we actually made the Eevee jealous and had to run for our lives," Frogadier deadpanned.

"D'oh!" Fennekin slapped her tail in her face as well…face-tail?

New Achievement: FACEPALM-CEPTION!

"…WELL THEN!" Frogadier declared, getting out of his seat and holding the arrow above his knee horizontally. "I SAY that we put an end to all this lovey-dovey stuff!"

CRACK!

"…was that a bone or your arrow?"

"My kneecap…" he squeaked feebly, falling to the ground.

New Achievement: ULTIMATE AND UTTER FAIL!

"Uh…try the other knee," Fennekin shrugged.

Frogadier held the arrow over his knee again aaaaaaaaaand—

…that's…a lot of blood.

New Achievement: THEN I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!

"OH, ARCEUS," Fennekin head-desked.

New Achievement: FACEPALM-CEPTION 2, BIGGER AND MORE FAILURE THAN EVER!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! OW! OH SWEET GIRANTINA IT HURTS SO BAD!" Frogadier screeched, the other diners staring at the *censored for rating purposes*.

"…so much for this date," a Salamence sighed.

"Let's just…walk away…slowly," Flygon offered to her…so his wife's a Salamence? Who knew?

"I think you need a doctor…" Fennekin muttered before cracking a smile.

"You're going to do something unspeakable, aren't you," Frogadier squeaked.

Producing a gas mask out of nowhere, the fire fox tightened it onto her face and held out a Sonic Screwdriver mischievously.

New Achievement: DOCTOR WHO ARE YOU?!

"Oh be quiet, X-box-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU—"

One operation later…

"You're a surprisingly good doctor…even if you used an alien's electrical-zappy-thing device to take out an arrow."

"Why thank you," Fennekin smiled in a British accent. "I've had experience with Frogadier anatomy before."

The two were walking back to the PC box, Frogadier on crutches with both knees broken and Fennekin at his side. She had discarded the Sonic Screwdriver earlier by throwing it at a police box nearby…

…never mind the fact that a man's hand caught it in midair and the box suddenly whirled away.

"Sooooo…was the date any good, besides, you know, taking an arrow to the knee and all?" Fennekin asked.

"Like I said, it was pretty fluff-filled," Frogadier shrugged. "Like, pink-tint-on-the-screen, Japanese-high-school-anime-styled love."

"Do you mean—ugh—puppy love?" Fennekin choked out the last words.

"…no, I'm pretty sure pink-tint-on-the-screen Japanese-high-school-anime-styled love is what you call it," Frogadier squinted into the distance.

However, when they finally came to where they THOUGHT the PC box was, a huge, beautiful horizon blocked them with the setting sun lowering. Waves of orange, yellow, and red washed over them as it did, illuminating every beauty in the flat landscape.

"What on earth…?" Fennekin trailed.

"I guess this map's upside down," Frogadier muttered, flipping the map he had in his…flippers…over.

"What a pretty sunset, though…" Fennekin mumbled.

Frogadier looked her way. Ruby-red eyes were set upon the blazing ball of fire as it lowered past the horizon, shining in the slowly-dying light. Her cream-yellow and snow white face were illuminated in it as well, delicate features highlighted and shadowed like an artist's masterpiece. She just happened to not be facing his way…

Suddenly, Fennekin felt something cool and slightly moist peck her cheek.

"HAHA!" Frogadier cheered, bolting for it.

"WHAT GIVES, FROG?!" Fennekin shouted, charging after him. "WHAT THE ACTUAL UNDERWORLD?! YOU DID NOT JUST KISS ME! YOU DID NOT!!"

"THE MOMENT MADE MEEEEEE!" Frogadier laughed.

The two eventually did make it back to the PC box…and Reevee21 smirked at the truly fluffiest moment in WGDitPC history.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FROM EVERYONE AT WHAT GOES DOWN IN THE PC! BE SURE TO SHOW THOSE EEVEE SOME LOVE, TOO!