CHAPTER 32: NO ANSWER

The smell of disinfectant hung heavily in the air. Tifa sat on the toilet seat cover, looking out the open door and watching Claudia at the stove with anxious eyes. Attempting to numb her ear lobe with a cloth full of ice, she waited with a racing heart. The earrings Cloud had bought her were sitting in a tiny bowl of rubbing alcohol on the sink. She couldn't wait to wear them but dreaded the fact that she'd have to actually pierce her ears. The thought of poking a hot needle through her lobes made her stomach turn with unease. In the kitchen, Ms. Strife was boiling a sharp sewing needle before holding it in the flames for a short while to disinfect it.

"There we are!" the blonde said, blowing at the needle in order to cool it. "Did you wash your ear lobes with the alcohol?"

Tifa mustered a nervous nod. This was ridiculous! She fought monsters with Zangan all the time and here she was, afraid of being poked by a needle! The woman must've noticed her reluctance and smoothed a hand over Tifa's head as she placed a cloth in the girls lap.

"Don't worry, it'll all be over in seconds!" Setting the needle in the dish of rubbing alcohol, Claudia tied Tifa's hair back with some twine.

"Y-yeah," Tifa replied in a voice much weaker than she expected. She removed the ice from her ear while Claudia dried the needle with a cloth and stood at her side.

"Here we go!" Claudia sing-songed.

Tifa closed her eyes and hissed at the immediate jolt of pain. The ice had numbed her somewhat, but not nearly enough!

"There, there. It's all the way through. See? That's all!" The woman picked up an earring from the disinfectant and dried it before holding it up for Tifa to see. "My son has good taste, huh?"

Tifa felt her replace the needle with the first earring and concentrated on her breathing to ignore the stinging in her ear and ease her anxious stomach. It was alright; the pain was worth it if it meant she could wear her hope on her ears.

Once both earrings were in, she smiled at her reflection. The dangling silver teardrops made her look mature—more like a young lady than a girl. In fact, her body was still changing. Her hips now flared out in a soft feminine curve, changing the way her clothes fit over her torso. Her breasts were no longer awkward little peaks of flesh but had grown round and full, like those of an adult. Tifa harbored insecurities about her changing body, but found comfort in the fact that no one else would have to see it without the concealing security of clothing. Thankfully, under Claudia's tutelage, she had grown quite knowledgeable in needlecraft over the past few years. Though she had never yet made herself clothes, she knew how to mend and hem well and could modify the garments she had to fit her appropriately as she grew.

Since the day she received her gift from Cloud, she had pondered what to send him for his birthday in August. After re-reading his letters, she decided to make him a pair of thick wool gloves for all those frigid nights spent patrolling the slums. There was still plenty of wool from the shearing earlier in the month and she had begun working on them as soon as she could. A fresh wave of pain made her squint. Returning the ice to the most recently pierced ear, Tifa exhaled through her nose. What a relief that this was over with! It had taken her two weeks to get up the nerve to ask Claudia to do this.

"Look how beautiful you are! You're going to knock him off his feet the next time he sees you," the woman said and Tifa smiled shyly. "Here, how about some candy to distract you from the pain?"

Tifa's countenance took on a haunted expression as she watched Claudia pull a lemon drop from her apron pocket and hold it out in offering. She pushed away memories of the scent of laudanum and Mama's gaunt face trying to smile at her, but nausea rose up in her throat anyway. With great effort, she tore her gaze from the little yellow orb wrapped in cellophane.

"N-no, thank you."

Knowing she had struck some sort of nerve, Ms. Strife immediately sought to change the subject. She freed Tifa's hair of the twine, letting it spill in a dark rivulet down the girl's back. Running her fingers through it, she let out an amused hum.

"I've always loved your hair. It's getting so long! Let me trim your bangs while you're here, they're hanging over your eyes."

"Thank you," Tifa said, trying her best not to focus on her throbbing earlobes. "Cloud was really nice to send these to me. I've already written him to thank him."

The woman smiled at Tifa's remark as she fetched the scissors and comb and got to work. In a few quick snips, the job was done. Tifa repressed a chuckle at the thought of Claudia attempting to tame her son's messy mane.

"Do you miss him?" the girl asked, red eyes turning to look at Claudia as she bent to sweep dark hair off the floor with a whisk broom.

"Every moment."

` … … …

The girl was clever, he'd give her that. But she had grown much too careless with her secret.

Brian's eyes had immediately caught on the modest pieces of silver on his daughter's ears when he came home for dinner. She hustled to and fro, hastily setting the table and retrieving a serving bowl of hot noodles and steamed vegetables from the counter. Tifa had tried to act nonchalant and cover her ears with her hair, but her slightly nervous behavior helped give away the source of her unease. His wife had never pierced her ears; Tifa had to have gotten them from an outside source. There was something bigger going on than just a teenage girl finding new ways to be vain.

"Where did you get those earrings?"

She looked like a frightened animal, frozen there with fear in her big doe eyes with the bread pan clutched in her hands. Pulling her gaze away from his, Tifa recovered enough to set the warm loaf on the table and take her seat. She fixed her eyes on her empty plate.

"Cloud gave them to me for my birthday," she admitted.

"Is that so?" He kept his tone carefully neutral.

"Yes, Papa."

Letting out a small huff, he spooned some food onto his plate. His first reaction was to scold her for this. Had she been writing to that kid? How she had ferreted the money for postage, he didn't know. And how was she supposed to marry a successful young man with a good family if she was being courted by a runt of a teen who was thousands of miles away? Really, he should've expected his daughter to pine after her lifelong friend after his departure. But the fact that Cloud was still invested enough in his daughter to send her gifts was disconcerting and detrimental to his plan. Pleased as he was that she had chosen to tell him the truth and save him an investigation, this was all quite troubling.

In a year, his daughter would be of age to marry and escape the stagnant life she endured in their home. He was currently in the process of finding her a suitor, but to his surprise it was much harder than he expected. Of all the well-to-do families he knew in the nearby villages that had sons near Tifa's age, none of them seemed interested in the girl as a marriage prospect. She had Lia's beauty, but what young man would want a quiet, withdrawn wife with abnormal strength and fighting skill? The girl could cook but she needed more than that to have her feminine qualities outweigh her indecent reputation as a brawler. Had she never pursued that damned apprenticeship, maybe she wouldn't be such a social misfit. If her mother hadn't died, maybe his daughter would've learned how to be a proper woman instead of running around in tunics felling beasts with her fists. The very thought made anger rise inside him.

"I'm surprised he has the gil to throw away on trifles like that."

The girl still hadn't moved to take any food and Brian realized that she was waiting for him to shout at her. The irritation he felt at her using his money without his consent to contact her little blonde playmate did make his tongue itch to lash out, but he reigned the impulse in and feigned disinterest instead. He had a more effective idea. Brian reached over the table to spoon food on her plate and Tifa glanced upwards.

"Eat up. You look tired."

Once Tifa was certain that she wouldn't be scolded, she nodded and relaxed her shoulders as she picked up her fork. "Yeah. My lesson with Master Zangan wore me out, and it was laundry day today."

"Are your chores too much for you? Let me help." He watched her suspicious expression with an inward smile. "I'll take care of shopping for what we need at the dry goods store and getting produce from the carts."

"Are you sure? I can—"

"No, no. It's alright. "

Tifa nodded as she raised another forkful of food to her mouth. It would be easy to cut off her contact from Cloud but he'd have to do it in a sly manner. If she caught on that it was him who had severed her connection to the boy, she may grow irrational and more unruly than she already was. Brian couldn't risk her running off on him or doing something as foolish as eloping. If he could have her mail held at the post office, she'd never know if the Strife boy wrote to her. He knew the exact chest the attic in which to hide Cloud's letters. By cutting off her access to gil by doing the shopping himself, Tifa wouldn't have the means to pay for the postage to write to him.

A nagging feeling at the back of his mind made Brian wonder if he was doing the right thing. This was all for her own good, he was sure of it. Cloud had no means to take care of her. Brian had no idea what the kid was doing in Midgar that allowed him to be making enough gil to send Tifa silver jewelry, but he doubted he had amounted to more than a ShinRA grunt or someone's fool apprentice. His daughter belonged in a prestigious family, wed to a man with wealth and an honorable lineage. The Strife boy could offer none of those qualities. Tifa looked more and more like her mother every day; she'd have no problem catching a husband by looks alone but reputation was everything in this conservative, mountain community.

"Papa?" The sound of his daughter's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Do you think that maybe we could go and see the ocean one day?"

He was caught off guard by her question, mostly because the girl never seemed like she wanted be in his presence more than absolutely necessary. Tifa had never been out of Nibelheim and he remembered feeling trapped and unhappy in this small, remote village when he was young. His mother was the daughter of a wealthy banker and his father was a master carpenter. They had had enough money to travel abroad but his father's work tethered him to his workshop, where Brian had spent long hours learning his trade. Itching for adventure, he had left to travel after saving enough gil for a cross country trip. He ended up being gone for four months—two of them spent in Wutai courting Lia.

He had first seen her walking down by the docks with a friend, long black hair flowing in the sea breeze as she laughed. It was her ruby eyes that had made his breath catch in his throat when she looked his way, and Brian had quickly swept in to make conversation. Lia was beautiful, but her enchanting personality was what made him fall for her in the end. Their infatuation had been intoxicating and they quickly agreed to marry. Lia's father had given him quite a guilt trip about stealing his daughter from him, but the arrangements were made and they were married on the shore with their toes in the sand. After the ceremony, she had grabbed his hand with a carefree laugh and dragged him into the water, romping through the waves in her white, lacy gown. His wife had always been spontaneous like that. They had spent hours playing in the surf and walking the water's edge before attending their wedding dinner. It had been the best day of his life.

He felt Tifa staring at him, waiting for his answer. The deep red of her eyes made his heart bleed and his stomach drop to his feet.

"I never want to go to the ocean again, Tifa."

Her lips pressed together as he spoke and she bowed her head to look at her plate once more.

… … …

The sound of metal meeting metal clanged again and again in the training chamber.

Zack thrusted forward repeatedly and it was all Cloud could do to keep up and block. Swordplay was the only class in which the blonde felt confident. He was ranked third in his group after their practical exams the week before and his confidence had undergone a modest boost. Practicing late into the night to perfect what he'd been taught and holding his own against his peers was one thing, but going up against a first class SOLDIER was another thing. For the sake of fairness (and safety), Zack had opted to use the same model of thin, practice blade that Cloud had instead of using his Buster sword. He knew that his friend was going easy on him and he was embarrassed to feel so slow and cumbersome. In class, it was simple enough to display stances or attack types when the sergeant called for him to do so. Fighting his clumsy, inexperienced classmates was also much less of a challenge than even trying to visually keep up with Zack's movements.

"Hyah!" Zack cried, swinging his blade in from the left. Cloud blocked just in time with a soft grunt.

It didn't help that he was distracted; he constantly worried about Tifa's silence. Cloud hadn't heard from her since she had written to thank him for her birthday gift in May. The summer had stretched forward and he had sent multiple letters, not once getting a reply, and the more he mused over how uncharacteristic it was of her, the more his concern grew. Now that it was mid-September, it had been four months since she'd written him. What happened? Was she hurt? Mom hadn't said anything like that in her letters.

Zack advanced again, swinging in a diagonal motion towards Cloud's shoulder with lightning speed. Cloud blocked without a split second to spare and let out an exasperated gasp.

"How are you so fast?" he asked, short of breath. A bead of sweat trickled down his nose.

"I'm used to fighting with an enormous two handed sword! This little piece of tin is nothing!" The SOLDIER grinned. "The mako treatments helped, too."

Cloud pushed his blade against his opponent's, using the momentum to gain some distance between them. As quickly as he could, the blonde attacked with an overhead swing. Zack immediately parried and kicked Cloud's feet out from under him. The cadet let out a startled yelp when he hit the floor and the blunt tip of Zack's training sword rested under his chin. Blue eyed flicked up to meet mako infused ones. He had hoped that these one-on-one sessions would help him improve, but all they seemed to be doing was exposing his weaknesses. When he thought about it, he was lucky to have the chance to practice his skills with someone as experienced as Zack. Learning from him would definitely boost his chances of getting into SOLDIER.

"I can't wait to make SOLDIER. Then I'll get mako injections and be as strong and fast as you are."

For a moment, Zack's face got serious and Cloud could see a glimpse of that grit and determination that allowed him to make it to first class. The intense expression was unfamiliar on his usual jovial countenance. He withdrew his sword and slumped to the ground beside Cloud.

"SOLDIER isn't what it used to be, that's for sure. The higher ups have been wearing me out!"

Rumors had been circulating for weeks about the disappearance of certain first class SOLDIERs and disarray within the program as a whole. He could tell this was all taking its toll on Zack, who had been overwhelmed with missions and mentoring some of the second and third class SOLDIERs. The fact that the man still took the time to hang out or spar with him strengthened Cloud's fragile self-esteem.

"Eh, it's alright though. Once you make first, you can help me out."

After all the harassment and bullying from his fellow cadets, Zack's kindness and companionship rejuvenated Cloud's battered spirit. He met the older man's gaze with a smile.

Despite his mentor's death and the apparent disarray of his career, Zack was always kind, always optimistic and always found the time to spend with him. Although only two years his senior, Cloud felt as if his dark haired friend was in another league entirely. He had such a remarkable spirit that it seemed as if there was nothing he couldn't do. Zack's willingness to help others immediately reminded him of Tifa's soft heartedness and a pang of homesickness made his throat tight with emotion. All this time he had been scrimping and saving to buy her a ring. It was a big decision, and a lot of gil spent in the hope that she'd agree to be his wife, but he had promised to come back to her and he never intended to leave her behind again.

"Hey, Zack…" Cloud said, casting the older man a shy glance. "There's something important I need your help with."

Zack opened his mouth to speak when suddenly, the door to the training chamber slid open with a hiss. Both heads turned to look towards the intruder. Sephiroth strode in, cool and collected as ever. Long hair like a silver curtain fell past his waist, a stark contrast against his black uniform. Cloud's eyes followed his movements as he held his breath. His hero was right in front of him! Sephiroth observed the pair with a bored expression. Zack huffed as Cloud continued to gape. When his senses returned to him, Cloud quickly hopped to his feet and snapped to attention in respect for his superior officer.

Zack rose in a relaxed manner and spoke. "Hey, we were just leaving, Sir. The chamber's all yours."

"They even have you training cadets now?" Sephiroth asked, his eerie green eyes on his comrade.

Zack grabbed both practice swords and moved to hang them on their place on the wall. "Nah, this is my friend. We were just sparring for fun. Right, Cloud?"

"Yessir!"

Cloud barely heard the rest of their brief conversation as he studied Sephiroth's features. He was every bit as tall and impressive as he had imagined he would be. The hero of Wutai was muscular and strong, confidence and capability radiated from his posture. In his hand was his signature masamune, the longest kitana he'd ever seen. Cloud had always been awed by everything regarding Sephiroth that he had read or even seen on the television in Nibelheim's Inn, though seeing him in the flesh was truly a different experience. But something wasn't right. The man was a hero of ShinRA, a famed and esteemed SOLDIER, but there was no pride or contentment in his eyes. Cloud saw emptiness and it made unease coil in his chest.

When prompted, the blonde followed Zack out into the corridor and the door to the training room slid shut behind them. Immediately, the larger man let out a laugh and slapped Cloud between the shoulder blades.

"That's the first time you've seen Mr. Big Shot, huh?" Zack grinned. "You should've seen your face!"

Cloud frowned and put his helmet back on to hide his exasperated expression. "I just didn't expect him to crash our training session, that's all."

"Sephiroth is always training. Honestly, I don't really know the guy too well," Zack admitted as the pair began to walk down the hallway. "Angeal was good friends with him but for the most part, they guy's a loner."

"Hm," Cloud breathed. In all the years he had idolized that man's strength, skill, fame and heroism, he had never stopped to ponder his personality. It was easy to see that Sephiroth wasn't a happy man, even when one ignored the absence of a smile or the mechanical manner in which he went through his routine. Although they were both first class SOLDIERs, he and Zack seemed like complete opposites. Zack lacked the fame but instead seemed to know how to enjoy his life and take pleasure in his work and ambitions. The silver haired 'hero' just seemed to be on autopilot.

"Anyway, what'd you need my help for?" Zack asked, jauntily moving about the street beside his friend. "You said it was important."

"It's really important." Cloud stopped walking when they reached the end of the hallways and pressed the call button for the elevator. "If you've got some time, could you help me pick out another piece of jewelry?"

` … … …

The mountain summer had been unusually wet and mild. An abnormal number of heavy rainstorms had swept through on most days, making everyone fret over the drowning plants in their gardens and Mr. Hansen was worried about his crops. Mr. Ackerman hadn't had a dry enough stretch of time to cut his hay fields and wondered if he'd end up having enough time to get everything baled before winter settled in. Wwith his son off learning his trade far away and Cloud in Midgar, he had no help.

September had yet to bring autumn's chill, and Tifa wiped the sweat from her brow as she knelt in the sodden soil of her garden. It was hard work to keep up with the damage from all of the rain and storms, but she had to try. Covering roots exposed from downpours and making sure to utilize her compost heap to replenish the nutrients that had been washed away was all she could do for the struggling plants. Tifa didn't know much about gardening, but keeping busy staking the tomato plant stalks and aerating the soil with her hoe served as a distraction from worrying about what they'd eat that winter. It also served as a distraction from the brokenness of her heart.

Cloud had stopped writing to her. At first, she thought that he was simply too busy, but as the weeks dragged by and she was met with silence, doubt and insecurity creeped in. She could do nothing to hide her devastation, just busy herself with enough chores to remain numb and practice her training enough to exhaust herself into dreamless slumber. Had he really forgotten about her? Cloud was sure to get caught up in the excitements of the big city, all of his adventures and his new friends. She couldn't blame him for overlooking a bland childhood companionship.

Tifa had thought about running away after Cloud a dozen times. She was clever—she could pack light and run down the mountain and board a train to the coast with gil from selling her mother's expensive silk kimono. But what would happen if she managed to find Cloud once she got to Midgar? Surely, she'd be plain and boring to him compared to city girls. It was hard to imagine the shy boy she had known wooing young women at all, but why else would he have stopped writing? Wouldn't she be a fool to leave everything behind for a boy who may no longer want anything to do with her? She couldn't be what Papa needed. If she could've been what Cloud needed, maybe he never would've left.

A sudden gust of wind rustled pine branches and tossed her long hair to the side. Any breeze was relief in the humid, muggy weather, but Tifa knew better than to enjoy this little respite. She looked up at the darkening sky: yet another storm was coming. All of this rain hadn't washed away the guilt and loneliness from her heart. It hadn't washed away Papa's sadness or anger. It hadn't cleansed the bleak thoughts from the darkest parts of her or wiped that look of dissatisfaction from her father's face. And now, it was even ruining the plants. What good did the rain do?

The clip clop of hurried horse hooves on the cobblestone of town square got her attention. Papa had hitched Dot to his cart and left to gather wood to replace the rotting support beams of the water tower. She had hoped that he had returned, for she was afraid that he'd be caught in the storm. But the horse sounded like it was travelling way too fast to be drawing a cart.

"Hey!" An unfamiliar voice echoed through the heavy air. "Beware! Beware!"

Tifa rose to her feet, wiping her dirt covered hands on her apron before hurrying around to the front yard to see what the commotion was about. The hoof beats slowed as the rider slowed his horse to a stop. Other villagers had stopped to listen to the stranger—a traveler from the looks of it. His stallion's nostrils flared violently as the animal caught its breath. To her surprise, Tifa saw Zangan join the growing crowd across the way. Ben Nelson was the first to react.

"What happened? Are you alright?" the blacksmith asked, stepping forward to attempt to further steady the startled horse.

"There are monsters everywhere on the mountain path!" the man said. Tifa and Zangan looked at each other. The rider continued, pointing a trembling finger back the way he came. "T-there's a landslide at the cliff face a mile from here! We barely made it out!"

Tifa's heart beat in her ears. She saw Ben take the horse's reigns and help the visitor off of his mount, but she no longer heard their conversation. Papa had gone that way. He had taken the dirt road through the pine thickets that lead away from Mt. Nibel. The rain must've oversaturated the ground to the point where the soil of the cliff side had finally gotten soft enough to give way. Was he alright? Without a word, she sprinted off towards the path, Zangan following close behind.

` … … …

"Papa! Papa!"

Her voice was growing raspy and hoarse as she called and called over the occasional crash of thunder and the pattering of heavy rain. The fog grew thick as Tifa and Zangan climbed in altitude, mud caking their boots as they ascended the sodden path. They had to be careful. They had fought over a dozen monsters already, but they weren't the true cause for concern. Any further landslides could be fatal if they became trapped—the ground was so supersaturated that there was no way of telling where they were safe and where they weren't. Tifa was growing frantic—so far there had been no sign of her father. A horses's whinny sounded out through the rain, and Tifa gasped as Dot galloped past them, dragging wooden poles where the hitch had broken. Both turned to watch her run down the path toward the village.

Oh, no.

Her limbs were shaking with fatigue and dread as she stumbled forward. A frightened whimper tore out of her throat and her knees began to buckle under the weight of her fear. Ahead, she could see where the earth had given way over the road and come crashing down into the valley.

"Tifa!" Zangan grabbed her collar and yanked her backward, away from the unsteady soil. "Look out!"

The ground began to quake beneath their boots. With a mighty roar, the earth shifted once again and the land slide started to move, like a slow river of mud, rocks and debris. Tifa gasped and held on to her master's arm as the sound of crumbing replaced the hiss of the rain. The earth growled and groaned, but remained still where they stood. Awed by the frightening display of nature's power, she glanced down the hill where the flowing avalanche met the still bank.

"Look there!" Master Zangan shouted, and she followed his pointed finger to see Papa's wagon at the edge of the flow, pushed against a boulder by the pulsing earth. Wedged between the bed of the cart and wall of rock was her father. His leg was pinned by the wood and he struggled to keep his head above the moving soil.

"Papa!" she screamed. Throwing caution to the wind, she flew down the hillside towards the landslide. Bushes and branches snagged and tore at the skirt of her dress and hot tears blurred her path. Tifa's breaths came ragged and uneven as she staggered ahead, wet bangs matted against her forehead. As fast as her adrenaline took her, it was Zangan who reached the cart first. The boulder was the only thing that kept it from being swept away down the mountain.

"Brian!" the old man shouted, carefully stepping out onto the broken planks of the hitch. "Hang on!"

Tifa followed and Zangan reached to grab the man's arm. Brian looked up at them with wild, fearful eyes. "I- I'm stuck! My leg—"

There was a vulnerability in his voice that Tifa had never heard before. It frightened her so much that she almost wished to hear familiar anger or indifference instead. Zangan shifted to get a better grip on him as Tifa frantically searched for something to help free her father's leg from the press of the cart against stone. Tossing aside the bow saw and the wedge, she grabbed the familiar handle of the axe. Tifa raised it above her head, confident in her aim from countless hours spent cutting firewood, and brought it down upon the lumber beside Papa's leg. It split well, and Brian cried out. She balked, afraid to have hurt him, until Zangan instructed her to keep going. With frightened sobs, she hacked away at the side of the wagon again and again until her teacher pulled Papa free.

"Good girl!" Zangan praised as he wrapped one of Brian's arms over his shoulders, supporting the man as they made their way across the cart and onto solid ground. Tifa followed, still gripping the axe in her shaking hands. Once safe, Brian looked wearily to his rescuers.

"Thank God for you," he whispered. "Thank God for you…"

... ... ...

A/N: Hi all! Thanks for taking the time to read, as always. :) I've been getting some questions about whether or not there will be an epilogue or sequel at the end of all this (Cloud and Tifa meet at the train station before FF7) and honestly, I'm not sure! If anything, it'll be a short series of one-shots for their lives from FF7 and beyond, but it really depends on reader interest towards the end! If there are still people enjoying this story at that point, I'm sure I'll be willing to give it a shot. So we'll see!

Thank you to everyone kind enough to read and review! ^_^ I love to hear what you all think.