Eighty-Eight
Masquerade

"…WHERE'S TREECKO?!" Luxio suddenly barked, scaring Flygon into spilling his coffee all over himself.

"Whoa, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Buizel blinked in surprise.

"What's up with your accent? Aren't you Australian?" Zoroark piped.

"I don't have an Australian accent until about…8:46."

"That's a very specific time for an accent to kick in—"

"Now that you mention it, we haven't seen him for quite a while now," Quilava pondered. "He left ten chapters ago, didn't he?"

"I don't know," Shaymin shrugged innocently, looking up from her donut with her frosting-covered mouth with her ADOWABLE, BIG WITTWE EYES! Can we just get an 'awwwww', guys?

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," the girl Pokémon cooed.

That's more like it.

"Well, now that you mention it, my Yam army has been acting off lately since their scepter of diamond is missing," Serperior hummed.

"Unfair," Fennekin muttered darkly.

"What?" Frogadier blinked.

"UNFAIR!" Fennekin barked at his face. "UNEVEN! NOT FAIR! ONE-SIDED! CHEATING! WHY DOES SHE GET AN ARMY AND I DON'T?!"

"I thought you had an army of Pikmin?!" Frogadier croaked, with Fennekin leaning over him.

"Yes, and this is where I'd put my army," she pulled a random rope, unveiling a velvet curtain that showed a beautifully-polished tank. "IF THEY WEREN'T IDIOTS."

"DID SOMEONE CALL ME AN IDIOT?!" Chestnaught shouted from across the room.

"…no," Fennekin squeaked.

Chestnaught shot her a glare before going back to his present task; opening the closet door. It hadn't been used in chapters, probably because they were too busy goofing off at the Toaster Springs in Colorado, Mississippi.

…oh, how did they get back? It's a long story, involves Fennekin's Nyan Cat alliance.

"Which I would have STILL HAD if SOMEONE hadn't thrown them a tuna!"

"I told you, I didn't know they would abandon ship for it!" Serperior whimpered.

ANYWAY! Back at the closet, Frogadier held up a radio playing Heart of Courage.

"…your oaken wood has been scarred by the cheese blasts of many a cheese spider, pierced through by the Nyan Cat of Destiny, and harmed by a diamond sword and flamethrower," Chestnaught stated in a deep voice. Yes, he is talking to a door. Should we fear?

"No!" Rotom shouted in the background.

Yea, we probably should.

"And you have returned the favor, blasting us with demigods, Dorito stashes, Pikmin, and even a Tyrunt!" he further declared.

We had a Tyrunt?

"WHAT MORE DO YOU HAVE, CLOSET?!" Chestnaught howled, Frogadier still holding up the radio like a derp. "WHAT ELSE CAN YOU POSSIBLY WITHSTAND?! WHAT ELSE COULD EMERGE FROM YOUR DARK, DANGEROUS, WOODEN DEPTHS?! For today…WE WILL FIND OUT!"

And with that, Chestnaught twisted the nob and swung open the door—

CLATCLATTERCLATTECLATCLATTER!

…not expecting thirty differently-designed, incredibly hard masks to come piling onto him.

"WHOOO! PAR-TAY!" Rotom squealed, kidnapping a mask at random and running (floating?) around like crazy.

"What in the name of Din?" Zoroark hummed, picking up the All-Night Mask.

"AHA! They're from the Legend of Zelda!" Frogadier declared.

"And how'd you figure that out?" Charizard asked, trying on the Mask of Truth. "…whoa, I can totally read your mind right now."

"A: because Reevee21's crazily into Majora's Mask right now. B: Zoroark suddenly cursed with Zelda language. And C…where else have you seen THIS mask?" Frogadier listed, holding up the Deku mask.

Meanwhile, in the narrating platform…

"REEV, HOW COULD YOU."

"I swear, I didn't—"

"I TRUSTED YOU."

"Yes you did—"

"YOU BETRAYED ME."

"Uh, yea, but—"

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Zelda growled, looking uncharacteristically menacing. Percy, Agumon, Pit, and Dark Pit were all cowering behind her.

"I swear, I didn't mean for THIS to happen!" Reevee21 yipped, using her foot to shove away a heart-shaped, very tribal-looking mask with spikes along the bottom and huge, yellow-orange eyes.

"Kill it…KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Agumon yelped.

"I mean, MAYBE I was going a little crazy with the searching there—"the author confessed.

"YOU WERE LOOKING UP MASKS ALL NIGHT!" Zelda barked.

"—BUT HEY, now we've got a chapter, and we just need to get rid of…that…" Reevee21 paled into a sickly shade of white, seeing how she had accidentally pushed the mask into the narrating platform's trap door.

"…well, darn it," Percy sighed. "Now we have a psychotic, magical mask stuck in a box of crazy Pokémon. How long do you think we'll last?"

"I'd saaaaay…three days," Pit betted.

"No way, four days at the least," Dark Pit argued.

"Three."

"Four."

"Three."

"Four."

"Trust me, I'm a nerd, it's three."

"Trust me, I still have sanity, it's four."

"Three!"

"Four!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

Zelda was harassing Reevee21 in the background, Agumon and Percy were looking down the hole forlornly, and the two Pits continued arguing about numbers.

Back in the PC box…

While Rotom was wearing the Bremen Mask upside down (kind of makes him look like he has an upside-down beak, actually), a large clatter of wood drew his attention to where a mask the size of his head had dropped to his side.

…then again, his head was his entire body, so…

"OOOOOOO, pretty!" Rotom giggled at the mask, leaning towards it menacingly.

Nearby the closet, nearly everyone had a mask on, and three masks were left in front of them: the Deku Mask, the Goron Mask, and the Zora Mask.

"…WELL," Fennekin smirked beneath her Keaton Mask, "since that fish-thing is a Zora, and Zora means fox—"

"IT MEANS I SHOULD WEAR IT!" Zoroark interjected.

"Uh, I don't know, I think it only works for Link…" Swellow chirped.

"That, and I can't get my big, honking nose into this thing," Zoroark whimpered dejectedly, dropping the Zora Mask.

"I bet I can!" Fennekin said almost instantly, catching it before it hit the ground. She happily put it on, glancing around at everyone. "…well? Am I a Zora?"

"You forgot to take your other mask off—"

"Wait, why do I want to be a Zora again?" Fennekin wondered out loud, setting the mask back where it was.

"Hey, uh, I've read fanfiction for Majora's Mask before," Flygon quailed, "and…I heard that these masks have spirits attached to them—"

"Whaddya mean, SPIRITS ATTATCHED TO THEM?! AAAAH! GET THIS OFF MY FACE! IT'S HIDEOUS! I DON'T EVEN LIKE FAIRIES!" Serperior shrieked, flinging the Great Fairy Mask off her face and jumping into Flygon's arms.

Somewhere in the world, a Fairy-type Pokémon is crying.

"Just the transformation masks, I think," Swellow offered hopefully. "And they can, like, control your will and stuff."

"That is very specific, Swellow," Lucario deadpanned, "and it sounds very interesting behind all that unearthly language, but am I the only one who is intrigued by that strange rumbling in the background?"

The jackal's words were true; a crazy laughter was echoing in the background. Turning around, the Pokémon saw that Rotom had put on…Majora's Mask…

…upside down.

"ROTOM, WHAT THE UNDERWORLD ARE YOU DOING?!" Charizard shrieked, slapping the mask right off the ghost's face.

"Uh, guys…" Shaymin whimpered in the background.

"You could have summoned a giant, creepy, killer moon that would crush us in three days!" Quilava barked.

"Hey, guys—"

"Or turned one of us into a Deku Scrub! THAT IS NOT A NORMAL!" Flygon shouted.

"Guys? Guuuuuys?" Shaymin chirped.

"Or turned us into kids! Or baby Pokémon, I guess! WHICH SUCKS!" Luxio argued.

Shaymin sighed dejectedly before pulling out her megaphone and yelling, "HEY, GUUUUUUYS!"

"WHAT?!" Charizard, Quilava, Luxio, and Flygon all roared at once, whipping around to where the other Pokémon were staring at the ceiling.

Looking up, they saw that a huge moon with a face was sinking towards them.

"…oh dear…" Frogadier whimpered, his eyes wide open in absolute and utter frog terror.

Majora's Mask suddenly floated from off the ground with its spikes moving in a wave motion, levitating high above them and cackling manically. All the while, the moon was sinking, and they took note that a timer stating 00:05:45 had magically appeared in the bottom of the screen (don't ask). And the Pokémon were either gaping at the moon, collapsed beneath it and shouting "WHYYYYYY?!", or had already fainted.

"We've met with a terrible fate, haven't we?" Absol quoted.

"Quiet, you…" Kirlia muttered.

"Maybe if we stop thinking about it, it'll go away…" Shaymin whispered.

"…IT'S NOT GOING AWAY! AURGH! WHY DID WE NEED TO DIE?! I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED READING THE PAPER!" Charizard roared in outrage.

"Hey, Moon! Go away, and you can have our Dorito stash! Or Lucario's recorded My Little Pony episodes!" Swellow offered. Quickly followed by Lucario protesting otherwise, but whatever.

"It's not leaving…" Frogadier sighed, falling to his knees, "it's pointless, this is all pointless, we're all going to die…"

"We just went through four of the five stages of grief in, like, fifteen seconds," Serperior blinked.

"QUICK! WE HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO LEARN THE SONG OF TIME!" Flygon gasped.

"NONE OF US HAVE THE OCARINA OF TIME!" Chestnaught wailed.

"THEN WE'LL NEED TO STEAL IT FROM LINK!" Flygon declared.

"IN FIVE MINUTES?!" Chestnaught argued.

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Flygon roared, falling muzzle-first onto the ground.

"D-Don't worry, Reevee21 will stop it by calling the giants or something!" Quilava tried calming them down, but obviously still in panic. "Right, Reevee?"

. . .

. . .

"Hey, isn't the narrating platform right above the PC box?" Chestnaught asked.

"Yep!" Swellow answered despite the situation.

"Aren't they always there with no way down besides falling?"

"Yep!"

"Isn't that moon right where it should be?"

"…unfortunately, yep!" Swellow shrugged helplessly.

"Then doesn't that mean…" Chestnaught stopped in horror.

"…IT MEANS WE EVACUATED THE PLATFORM, IDIOT!" Dark Pit shouted as the narrators approached.

"YOU'RE ALI—"Chestnaught froze, glaring murder at Dark Pit. "Did you call me an idiot…?"

"Pittoo, RUN," Pit squeaked.

While Chestnaught and Dark Pit were dueling in the background, Quilava approached the narrators.

"How did you all escape?!" he gasped.

"Magic!" Reevee21 answered.

"…uh, okay then, do you have Link with you?" Fennekin asked.

"Sadly, no," Zelda quipped. "I tried calling him on his cell, buuuuut…"

One minute earlier, in the Twilight Princess universe…

~Exterrrminate! EXTERRRMINATE! EXTERRRMINATE! EXTERMI-

Link quickly answered his phone before Midna said anything. "Yea, hello? This is the Hero of Twilight," he started.

"Hey, Link?" Zelda's voice rang through. "Are you busy at the moment?"

"Very," he gulped.

"Oh…well, do you have time to get here in about five minutes—"

The Darknut he was facing off against took this opportunity and swung its sword. Needless to say, the phone (and every bone in Link's body) didn't make it.

Back in the PC box…

"He never did get back to me," she huffed.

"Maybe because he was kind of dead—"

"ANYWAY!" Agumon interrupted. "QUICK! We have three minutes to do something before the moon falls!"

"Three? THREE?! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Rotom squealed, running about the room crazily.

"REEV! DO SOMETHING!" Percy squawked.

"I DUNNO, I'VE NEVER PLAYED MAJORA'S MASK!" Reevee21 wailed.

"THEN DO A SPEED RUN!"

"I DON'T HAVE THE GAME!"

"WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEE!" Chestnaught sobbed with Dark Pit underneath him.

One crazy run-about-the-room-scene later…

KIRLIA was deposited in the PC
TREECKO was deposited in the PC
GROVYLE was deposited in the PC

An impatient Kirlia stuck her head in through the door and barked, "WHAT IS GOING ON—"before spotting the moon hanging above them. "…OH…"

"Hm? What? What's happening?" Treecko stuck his head in as well, instantly getting sight of the moon. "WHAT THE CHEESE?!"

"Cheese?"

An unfamiliar Grovyle with a dark green sash tied over his right eye joined the group and stared in awe at the panicky Pokémon. And demigod. And Digimon. And princess. And angels. And author.

"…they're a lot less calm then I remember them being," he stated simply. Am I foreshadowing this unfamiliar character's backstory? Maybe. How would I know?

"And it looks like they still have no skill with Zelda stuff," Treecko sighed in disappointment, walking into the PC box. A new edition to his Minecraft-styled belt was a blue glass flute, and a new sword took the place of the old diamond sword's sheath.

May that sword rest in peace…

"Eh. We should probably help them out," Kirlia noted. "…keyword 'probably'—"

"Kirliaaaaaa," Treecko and the Grovyle both scolded.

"FINE, we'll save them," she griped. "Anyway, how? There's, like, a minute left."

"One minute left to live…I love you guys," Grovyle sobbed.

Rotom, who was overall the least concerned about intimate death, finally noticed the three Pokémon at the door. "Treecky! Kirly! Grovyle I don't know yet!"

"OH JEESH, he's Nicole," Treecko griped.

"…how do you know the name of a character with no involvement in this book?" Quilava asked slowly.

"We get around," the Grovyle shrugged. "So please tell me what's going on, why there's a moon here, and why you all are, like, a foot shorter."

"What?" Lucario asked in defense to the last question.

"Rotom put on Majora's Mask upside down, he summoned the moon and WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Zelda wailed.

"UGH, NOT AGAIN!" Kirlia complained.

"Yea, give me a minute," Treecko stated before walking directly below the moon. He rapped on the nose and shouted, "DEITYYYYYYYY! YOU'RE PLANET'S FALLING AGAIN!"

"WHOOPS! My bad!" some unfamiliar character from the inside apologized.

SUDDENLY, the moon reversed direction and shot back up into the sky! With no side effects!

"DANG IT, WE JUST GOT THAT PLATFORM!" Ptooey groaned. "…Reev, I am not in the mood."

"Chill, my spit-named friend, I've got this!" Reevee21 dismissed, walking up onto the regenerated-because-Dark-Pit's-not-in-the-mood platform. "See? Now it's named after you!"

"…I can't believe she put my name down right," Blapi blinked. "Aaaaaand it's back. DANG IT, REE."

"HEY! Only Light calls me Ree!"

"Nobody else calls me Pittoo! Or Ptooey! Or Blapi! Or whatever else you fans have come up with!"

"Some people call you Dart. An author dubbed you Pitch once," Charizard offered.

And so, we saved the world and got a new character.

Agumon: Who is this Grovyle, anyway? And why does he have one eye?

Reflect: THE READERS MAY NEVER KNOW.

Percy: AHHHHHHHH WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

Actually, they were locked up in my closet for a while so I could get them to settle the magic argument.

Shulk: We never actually did…

Robin: Is anyone else claustrophobic?

Reevee21, Percy, Zelda, Agumon, Pit, Dark Pit, Reflect, and Shulk: Yep.

Good ARCEUS! It started with a few lines from Mickey, Sonic, and Percy, and now completely unrelated books are doing it because their authors read this and want to go ranting with a bunch of characters!

Ptooey: You could CHANGE THAT NAME OR I SWEAR TO PALUTENA I WILL STAB YOU.

Pit: But I'm in the way!

Ptooey: That's a minor detail…

Percy: And with that, we are no longer bunkmates.

Robin: You guys have bunks in here?

Agumon: Sometimes, yea. Although I prefer to sleep in the fireplace.

Zelda: It's still not healthy for you to do that! Especially when the fire's ON!

Reflect: He who sleeps in fire…MAAAAAAGGIC… (Hides behind Reev)

Agumon: But it's so comfy!

Pit: You can't kill the author, if you did, then we would all die!

Ptooey: She can't—REEEVEEEEEEEEE…

FINE. There you go.

Dark Pit: She can't affect us, we don't belong to her!

Pit: But Agumon does! What if she kills Agumon?!

Dark Pit: SHE'D ALREADY BE DEAD!

Shulk: Okay, I can't take this. I'm out. I'M OUT! (Accidentally walks of platform) I'M OOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF—

Robin: Shoot. Now one of us needs to get him.

Nah, don't worry, I've got it covered. Next chapter is just going to be very Xenoblade-y! Until then, guys, please hug an Eevee! See you next chapter! BYEEEEEEE…okay, seriously, a few of us have got to go.

Dark Pit: I volunteer.

Nah, you're too fun. Uh…eeny meanie miny moe, catch a Tactician by the toe, if they holler, let them go, eeny meanie miny, moe!

Robin: …you just pointed to both of us—

Zelda: Exit's that way (jerks thumb towards door).