"Jolene…" Harley sighed. "Please get off the counter."

The girl was in a crouched position, biting her tongue where it stuck out of her mouth and scribbling with a crayon on a piece of paper. "Sorry, Mama. No can do. I'm drawin' a picture."

"I can see that," Harleen acknowledged. "But why do you need to stand on the counter to do it?"

"I gotta get the right vantage point to capture the light," Jo explained like it was obvious, her focus never wavering from the task at hand.

Harleen tried not to laugh. "The right vantage point?"

"It's all about perspective, Mama," Jo told her.

OK, well…now Harley was curious. She got up from the kitchen table and walked over to the counter, looking over Jo's shoulder at…stick figures. Of course they were just stick figures. She was 5. "They should go ahead and give you your art school diploma now."

"That's what I've been thinkin'," Jo agreed. She made some final touches on the sun in the sky and then proudly held it up for Harleen to see in all its glory.

The drawing depicted three people holding hands while standing in front of a house. "Wow…it's beautiful, Jolene," Harley moved in to examine the crayon marks more critically. "Is that me?" She pointed to the tallest figure.

"Yep!" Jo said. "And that's me," she pointed to the smallest. "And that's Anthony," She indicated the redheaded figure that held her left hand while Harley took her right. "It's our family!"

Harleen frowned slightly. "Where's Mom?"

Jo laughed. "At work. See?" She pointed to the sun in the sky. "Mom's not in our daytime family."

Anthony started his self-taught piano lesson in the other room and it threw off Harley's response formulation, so she just gently took the picture from the girl and went to hang it on the fridge.

"No!" Jo said, stopping Harley in her tracks. "That's a secret picture just for us. Mom will be sad if we hang it up and Mom is grumpy when she's sad."

Harleen turned around, her brow furrowed. "So then what do you think we should do with it?"

"Put it in a secret hiding spot," Jo suggested.

"Honey…" Harley leaned against the counter. "I don't think it's good to keep secrets from Mom."

"But she keeps secrets from the whole world, Mama. That way we can be safe," Jo reminded her. "I'm just keeping her safe from being sad."

/

Pam felt her back stick to the car seat as she pulled herself out. "The f—" she felt the spot with her hand and it came away red and sticky. "Of course!" Pam laughed mirthlessly. "Because why not?"

She yanked her bag from the passenger seat and slammed the door shut harder than was necessary. It was already 11pm, the lights were off in the house...Thank Gaia, Pam thought, realizing Harleen was probably taking her nap before work and the kids were already asleep, meaning she could just take a quick shower and then crawl into bed.

Pam dropped her house keys as she pulled them from her bag, forcing her to wave her arms wildly trying to trigger the motion-sense porch light. When it didn't respond, Pam knocked her forehead against the door and whispered "FUUUCCCCCCKKKKK" in a clear attempt to reboot her mind, and that seemed to do the trick because the light switched on. "Thank you," she clasped her hands in front of her, looking towards the sky. "Thank you," And bent down and picked up her key, inserting it into the door and twisting the handle.

Once inside, her first move was to flick on the light, but she immediately regretted it, as it illuminated the foyer effectively enough to see that Harleen was sitting in the large chair in the living room wearing the "we need to talk" expression.

"No," Pam said, firmly. "No. Whatever it is—please, not right now."

Harleen was offended. "I haven't even said anything yet!"

Pam shook her head. "No…I know that look. I know what this is, and it's not happening. Not until I take a shower."

"Well…" Harley stood up, pulling down the hem of her t-shirt. "How about I join you?"

Pam regarded her critically as she set her bag down. "Fine. But only if you help me get this crap off my back," she turned around to show her the blood attempting to dry there. "And then we have sex because I really don't need a domestic quarrel right now."

"Oh my God, what happened?" Harleen was alarmed at what she thought was an open wound.

"Harley, is that what my blood looks like?" Pam asked.

"Oh, pfft," Harleen laughed, bonking herself on the forehead. "Duh. Who'd you kill?"

Pam squinted, affecting her best 'WTF face'. "Umm…you didn't know him."

"Wait…" Now Harleen was concerned. "You didn't actually kill anyone, did you?"

"No, Bruce wouldn't let me," Pam grumbled, before remembering there was another conversation they were supposed to be having. "So can I fuck you, or what?"

"Hey!" Harley was back to offended. "I resent that coarse language," But then Pam raised an eyebrow and Harley giggled immediately. "OK, no I don't."

Shaking her head, Pam started up the stairs and the blonde was quick to follow. Their voices changed to whispers as they passed the kids' rooms.

"But we do need to talk…can we try to multitask?"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Dead serious."

Pam closed their bedroom door behind them, returning her voice to conversational volume. "Harleen, no offense, but you aren't exactly the most…coherent lover. How do you expect—"

"How could I not take offense to that?"

Pam mulled that over for a moment. "How could you take offense to that?" She left Harley there with her brow furrowed in favor of the bathroom where she pulled her tank top up over her head, but as soon as she got the garment off, there was Harley again, inches from her face. "Fuck, Harl." She jumped, startled.

…Something her wife ignored. "I think we ask the kids to keep too many secrets."

"No, Harleen. No means no. Just give me like 10 minutes. Please," Pam implored.

Harleen sighed, sliding her arms around Pam's waist and slipping her hands into the waistband of her leggings, pushing them down past her hips. "I just…between asking them to maintain your secret identity and not telling them where I go at night…"

"You just brought up two contradictory examples," Pam leaned back against the glass of the shower as Harley inched her pants down over her thighs, leaving them to pool around her ankles.

"I'm honestly not sure which one is worse anymore," Kneeling down, Harley helped her step out of the fabric and then tossed them into the corner of the room. She pressed a kiss to Pam's abdomen. "I used to think it was obviously keeping a secret that big from them, but now I realize," she dragged her lips down to Pam's hip bone and gently nipped at the skin there. "asking them to keep a secret that big might actually be in a shadier moral area."

"Well you're the one that," Pam reached down and grabbed the back of Harley's t-shirt, pulling it off as Harley helped her by raising her arms. "Said we needed to explain the extent of my powers to them. That's just going to—mmm—" Haleen had her panties between her teeth. "Further complicate things."

"Things are already complicated," the blonde muttered through clenched teeth as she dragged that garment down as well. "What I'm saying is…"

"Yes, what are you saying?" Pam demanded. "Because I really don't underst—ah," her hands suddenly fisted in Harleen's hair and the blonde held up a finger to indicate it would be a moment before she got her response. "The sh—the shower," Pam mumbled, her eyes closing of their own accord. "We're—we're wasting water."

Evidently determining she was right, Harley stood up, and in one move opened the shower and pushed Pam backwards into it. She stumbled slightly, but Harley was pressing her into the wall before she had time to actually slip. Harley made no move to shield herself—or her sweatpants and sports bra—from the water spraying out of the shower head.

"What I'm saying is…" she moved Pam's now wet hair out of her face to kiss her. "I think forcing the kids into our lie might have some," she slipped her index finger into Pamela's mouth. "Lasting negative psychological consequences."

Pam rolled her eyes as she sucked on the other woman's finger. "You know; water is actually a pretty effective lubricant."

Harley's eyes widened like she was surprised at this information and she quickly removed her finger. "Thank goodness I married a doctor, otherwise I'd never be privy to such advanced solutions to the complexities of human anatomy."

"I'm not that kind of doctor."

"Oh, you're right," Harleen smiled, placidly. "I am," and with that, she wrapped her arm around Pam's waist and drove her up the wall.

Pam bit down on Harley's shoulder as the blonde set their pace.

Harley gasped before gritting her teeth and pressing her forehead into the tile wall, her lips brushing against Pam's ear with each push. "I'm worried we might be asking too much of them."

"Well that's not what—that's not what I—" Pam was trying her best to get her sentence out.

"Honestly, Pamela," Harley laughed. "Must you be so incoherent?"

Pam's response was to bite down harder until she apologized, and when she did, Pam forced the rest out: "That's not what I want for them. But it's a necessary evil. We knew that—mmm—going in."

Harley's pants were so soaked now their own weight was dragging them down off of her hips. "I hate that everything has to be so complicated," She added a second finger and picked up the pace.

"They're—fuck," she grabbed Harley's face and kissed her roughly. "They're happy kids, right? That's what you're always—fuck—telling me."

"Yeah…"

"Then let's not get ahead of ourselves," Pam suggested, snaking her hand up the back of Harley's sports bra and digging her nails in. It wasn't much longer before she fell apart with a cry that Harley muffled with a kiss.

"See?" Harley grinned. "We're incredible multitaskers," Pam glared in response and Harley wrapped a wet lock of red hair around her finger, smiling at how the water had darkened it to Anthony's coloring. "The kids miss you when you're gone…"

"You know…" Pam sighed. "I think I'd prefer we not discuss the children in this context," She shut off the water and reached back to unclasp the bra she'd neglected to remove, helping Harley out of hers as well.

"Maybe you should—" Harley looked down at her feet. "Maybe you should come home."

"I am home," Pam helped her out of her sweatpants.

"It's midnight, Pam," Harley reminded her. "Just…look, the Justice League stuff is mandatory, I know that. But if you dropped the lab job, you could be here when they get home from school—if you're not on-call, I mean. Wouldn't that be nice? The four of us? We have the money, Pam. You know we do. And I'm still in negotiations for this book deal, but I know it'll be—"

"Would Dr. Quinzel agree?" Pam asked.

"What?"

"On my release papers you stated that 'Poison Ivy should maintain a civilian occupation as well as fulfill her contract with The Batman. She requires constant mental stimulation, and without a replacement of purpose from her current villain alignment, she will continue to be a menace to society.'" Pam reminded her, quoting the report word-for-word and crossing her arms over her chest. "So, Harleen, I'm curious what Dr. Quinzel would think of your suggestion."

"She'd think—yes! Well…Yeah, duh," Harley laughed.

"Honey…" Pamela swept her up into a kiss. "I think you might be a little biased."

Harley sighed. "Just…think about it, alright? They're gonna hate both of us pretty soon, and that job will always be there for you. After the kids leave, after I…you know…just—let's spend as much time together as possible while you still want to see me naked."

Pam laughed. "Is that what this is about?"

"Well sorta," Harley admitted with a smile that quickly turned sad. "And I want you to be a part of our daytime family."