Ninety
De-Stock the Block

"…aaauuuuuuuuugh…gee, if I had a nickel for every time we started the chapter with a groan…"

Flygon blinked drowsily, having woken up from resolute darkness to resolute darkness in the center of resolute darkness that was further incased in resolute darkness.

"Alright, there's way too much resolute darkness in here," Flygon hummed to himself, stretching out—

-and finding himself in the middle of a cramped, apparently stone box.

"OH MY ARCEUS, I'M IN A BOX!" Flygon shrieked, instantly regretting it as the echo called back even louder. "I'm—I'm in a box! I'm in a box…! It's so cold…it's so cold! Walls…closing in…! Oxygen…depleting…!"

Apparently, he's claustrophobic.

"…hold on," he blinked, "I'm a dragon. I could totally rip through this thing right now."

…

"…I'M IN A BOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXX—"

Meanwhile, on the not-so-panicked side of things…

"I GET IT, FLYGON! YOU'RE IN A BOX!" Absol barked from inside a similar, equally-dark box. Of course, he wasn't worried in the least, since he was smaller than a Flygon and thus had a lot more room to breathe. Lucky kitty.

"BUT IT'S A BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXX!" Flygon wailed from the box next to Absol (apparently). "I CAN'T STRETCH MY WIIIIIIIIIIIINGS—"

"Well I CAN'T EITHER!" Absol howled.

"YOU DON'T HAVE WINGS!" Flygon shrieked.

"YES I DO!" Absol howled.

"WHERE?!" Flygon shrieked.

"IN MY EVOLUTION!" Absol howled.

"ABSOL CAN'T EVOLVE!" Flygon shrieked.

"YES THEY CAN!" Absol howled.

"WELL THEN WHAT INTO?!" Flygon shrieked.

"DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MEGA EVOLUTION IN THE LEAST." Absol howled.

"NO!" Flygon shrieked.

"WELL WHY THE HECK NOT?!" Absol spat, for a change.

"BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A MEGA EVOLUTION! I'M SO ALOOOOOOOOOOONNNEEE—"Flygon wailed. He doesn't have a mega evolution, he's a faaaaaaaiiiil whaaaaaaaaaaaale~!

"LISTEN UP!" Absol barked before changing to a seething tone. "If…you…are going…to scream…wake…the others…up."

"Can do…OH MY ARCEUS I'M IN A BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—"

One massive, scream-filled argument later…

"Okay, is everyone present now?" Quilava asked, traces of stress in his utterly calm voice.

Everyone was inside boxes, everyone was surrounded in darkness, and everyone was pretty ticked or freaked about it.

"Yea…Quilava, Charizard, Flygon, Frogadier, Shaymin, Treecko, Kirlia, Swellow, Grovyle, Serperior, Zoroark, Luxio, Chestnaught, Absol, Rotom, Buizel, Fennekin, and myself," Lucario listed.

"Oh, so that Grovyle's a major character now?" Swellow chirped.

"Yes, he's a major character now, always was, always will be," Kirlia muttered.

"Thanks, Kirlia—"Grovyle tried to speak.

"Why?" Rotom asked innocently.

"Hey, I'm right here, you know—"Grovyle started.

"Because he's…uh…important!" Zoroark stated. "Reev'll use him for a later plot point or something!"

"Guys, I can hear all of this—"Grovyle pointed out.

"But that makes two evolutions of Treecko! She could have used that spot for someone important—like Scolipede!" Luxio pouted. "Boy, that Scolipede was awesome—"

"Luxio—"

"—he had a chance to shine, then he got cut for some reason—"

"Luxio—"

"—but he had potential! He had talent! This new 'mon, he's just—"

"LUXIO, SHADDUP!" Treecko and Grovyle both shouted at once.

"Fine," Luxio huffed.

"Alright, first things first; we need to get out of these boxes," Fennekin decreed.

"Why's that, smokin'?" Frogadier asked/introduced-random-nickname-I-hope-Roseh-approves-of. Because honestly, there are so many puns I can make with a Fire-type girlfriend that I can't because of the rating…so…many…puns—

"Don't call me that. Anyway, I'm a fire type," Fennekin stated.

"…yyeaaa…way to state the obvious…?" Charizard trailed in uncertainty.

"…UGH, did any of you guys take a science class?!" Fennekin groaned. "Fire uses oxygen as fuel! We take in more air than usual! IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF THIS BOX, ME AND CHARIZARD ARE GOING TO SUFFOCATE."

"…OH…" Charizard gaped.

"Lucario, you can do this! It's only some walls! You could totally karate-Ishmael them into next week!" Zoroark cheered.

"Yea, go Lucario!" Serperior cheered.

"For the sake of our two fiery friends' air supply…I shall," Lucario stated solemnly.

"YYAAAAAAY!" the two girls cheered like…well, little girls. You know, how five-year-olds do it, all high-pitched—

Lucario charged up an aura sphere, and just like his distant cousin in Brawl ("So I'm related to a smasher, too?!" Zoroark gasped), launched it at the wall.

It promptly rebounded back and hit him in the face, knocking him out.

"…aaaaawwwwww," Zoroark and Serperior groaned.

"I wonder what these walls are made out of," Shaymin wondered absent-mindedly. Oh, by the way, Flygon's been chanting "I'm in a box…" this entire time. Poor fella—

"Let's EXPERIMENT!" Rotom decreed.

"How?" Shaymin asked.

"ELECTRICITY is attracted to METAL," Rotom said. "So if I am PULLED TOWARDS one of these WALLS, they're METAL!"

"Why do you have so many caps—"

"But I'm NOT!" Rotom denied. "So these walls ARE NOT METAL!"

"…o-kie dokie," Shaymin shrugged. "Well…oh! G-Grass is good against Rock, isn't it?"

"Yeaaaaaaaa…!" Rotom grinned.

"So if I attack a wall with a Seed Bomb…"

"Yeaaaaaaaa…!"

"They should blow apart if they're stone!"

"Yeaaaaaaaa…! DO IT!"

SHAYMIN used SEED BOMB!

The Seed Bomb bounced about the walls crazily for a few seconds before exploding in the middle of the box, coating Shaymin in dandelion seeds. Not that anyone can tell. And I'm not sure why they're dandelion seeds—

"It's not stone, either."

…why do all these Pokémon keep interrupting me?! I JUST WANT TO RANT, GUYS!

The Pokémon continued discussing escape plans, not paying any heed to the author. Treecko tried chiseling out with his sword, Frogadier blasted the walls with water, Kirlia even tried her tried-and-true keyblade escape plan; but aside from a chip out of the sword, a tank full of water, and an unconscious Sora in another world, nothing worked.

…oh, don't worry about Frogadier, he's a water type and can breathe in the stuff—

"Let's just wait for Reevee to get us out!"

FOR THE LOVE. OF. ARCEUS. Clearly something's up if they can't hear me. But how can I get them to listen…? Who could possibly be my puppet to try and fish these guys out of this pickle…?

Wait! A puppet! Of couuuuuurse! *A-hem*…

Luxio felt a sudden urge to play Kid Icarus. "Well, that was weird," he shrugged, dismissing it.

…WELP, they're dead. I can't even send food down there Palutena style. Also, Lucario's unconscious…

Percy: Well, what can possibly stand up to an author?

AUGH WHAT THE FRILL PERCY—

Zelda: Hm…something that stops an author…WELL, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?!

How did you guys get involved in this…?

Pit: Reflect, please don't say anything-!

Reflect: MAGIC.

Shulk: I WILL PUNCH YOU, REFLECT.

Robin: AND SO WILL I.

Dark Pit: *Is waiting about quietly.

It's not the A/N, guys…

Zelda: Didn't you hear me? Clearly you've got something up!

Clearly.

Zelda: I diagnose it as Writer's Block.

Pit: WHAT?! NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! …also, what's Writer's Block?

Robin: It's when an author can't think up anything for a story. So, why Reevee21 hasn't been updating a lot lately.

Is this an A/N, guys…?

Percy: I guess not…?

Agumon: Hold on, I'll switch it over!

Pittoo: Huh. I wonder when he got in here—REEV.

I'll change it back laaaaater! I'm too tiiiiiiered to care right now!

In the narration platform…

"Mm-hmm," Dark Pit (see?) nodded slowly and stealthily.

"So, how do we get you out of your writer's block?" Pit pondered. Huh, try saying that five times fast. Pit pondered, Pit pondered, Pit pondered, Pit pondered, Pit pondered…I guess it's not all that hard. Oh well.

"I don't know, but this is a pretty nasty case…I think I need divine inspiration," Reev muttered.

Cue Pit coming over and repeatedly poking me in the head, chanting, "Be inspired, be inspired, be inspired, by the power vested in my immortality I command you to be inspired, be inspired, be inspired—"

"That's not gonna work, Pit—"Percy stared.

"Actually, I think it's working," Reev denied, staring blankly at a piece of paper as Pit continued poking her. SO MUCH LETTER 'P' WHOA—

"We could find Digivices and go to save the digital world—"

"NO!" Everyone shouted back at Agumon, who shrunk back.

"OKAY FINE, AUGH! WHY DOESN'T ANY ONE LISTEN TO MEEEEEEE—"Agumon sobbed, running straight into one of the Writer's Blocks that they had dragged up there for…reasons? Yea, we don't' really know why there here. But now that Agumon's run into one:

Inside the Writer Block that Agumon just ran into…

SUDDENLY, in the middle of Flygon's panic attack, the entire box shuddered.

"OH ARCUES THE WALLS! THE WALLS ARE SHRINKING! THE WALLS ARE SHRIIIINNKIIIIIING!" He screeched, scrambling about like a high-octane cat trapped in…well, a box.

Outside the Writer's Block that Agumon just ran into…

"Great, now you made him even more panicky!" Zelda complained before coming up and stroking the box. "It's okay, wittwe Fwygon, its okay!"

Inside the Writer Block that Agumon just ran into…

"THE WALLS ARE TALKING!" Flygon screamed, completely missing the point of Zelda's words. "THE WALLS ARE SHRINKING AND TALKING TO ME!"

Outside the Writer's Block that Agumon just ran into…

"You're not helping either, Zelda!" Agumon whined.

"Be inspired, be inspired, be inspired, by the power vested in my immortality I command you to be inspired, be inspired, be inspired, be inspired, by the power vested in my immortality I command you to be inspired, be inspired, be inspired—" Pit continued chanting, as he continued poking, as I continued trying to devise some kind of stone-breaking trap.

…OH PLEASE, that's the least weird thing that's happened to me this week!

So as Reev…uh…I mean, as I'm—wait, this is in third-person, so I can't put in any reference to just one person—but I just did! And there I went again! AND AGAIN! Augh, this fic can be so confusing sometimes—

"WAIT!" Zelda shouted. "HOLD THE PHONE!"

"Sora, I think I'll call you back," Percy stage-whispered into the phone.

"What we need to open these things," Zelda motioned to all the blocks inside the Narrating Platform at the moment, "is some good ol' fashioned fourth-wall-breakage!" she declared.

"YEA!" Everyone declared.

"WHAT WE NEED IS SOME EPIC SMASHIN', REALITY STYLE!" Zelda cheered.

"YEA!"

"WHAT WE NEED IS FOR REEV TO GET OFF HER LAZY BUTT AND DELIVER SOME AWESOME PENCIL-STAB ACTION!" Zelda finally shouted.

"YEA!" Reev grinned. "…wait, you mean me?"

"YEA!" everyone else groaned.

"O-KAY THEN!" she awkwardly grinned again. "Though you know a pencil-stab isn't going to work, right?"

"WE HONESTLY DON'T CARE!"

"O-KAY THEN!" she awkwardly grinned AGAIN. "…but don't say I didn't warn you if this doesn't work—"

"Stop killing the mood," Zelda deadpanned.

"O-KAY THEN!" she awkwardly grinned AGAIN. "I'm getting really redundant with all these 'again'. Good thing I can put stuff in italics to make it look good!"

With a loud CA-BOOM that sent the group sprawling, distracted Pit momentarily from trying to motivate me, and gave Zelda and the on-the-phone Sora earbleeds, the Writer's Blocks broke open.

"We did it!" Agumon cheered.

"What?" Zelda asked.

"I said, 'we did it'!" Agumon repeat-cheered.

"What?" Dark Pit, whom also got an earbleed from trying to lean against a Writer's Block like a cool kid (angel?) 'n all, asked.

"I said-…you guys have a lot of blood coming out of your ears," Agumon noted.

"ZELDA! DARK PIT! DO YOU NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION?" Pit hollered as they continued staring blankly. "Do you need medical care?! Maybe, uh, a respiration device? A defibrillator?! Are you guys having heart attacks?! DO YOU NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION?!"

"What?" they both asked.

"…does anyone else feel a strong temptation to pair those two somehow?" Reev asked.

"WELP, I guess your Writer's Block is out the window," Quilava shrugged.

"Ya. WHO'S READY FOR A SERIES OF AWESOME, DEATH-DEFYING, ACTION-PACKED CHAPTERS?!" Reev declared to the crowd.

"YYYEAAAAAAA!" everyone cheered. "…wait, WHAT?!"

BONUS: Meanwhile, in Kingdom Hearts…

"…uh, guys? Did you…did you need me for something?"

Goofy walked into the room to see Sora. Namely: Sora, blown back, with a phone in one hand and a massive earbleed on both sides.

"…Sora?" he asked.

"What?"

"Sora, are you okay?"

"What?"

"Sora, do you need medical attention…?" Goofy drawled.

"What?" Sora repeated. "Seriously, speak up. I can't hear you."

"Do you need medical attention?"

"What?"

"Do you need medical attention?"

"What?!"

"Do you need medical attention?!"

"WHAT?!"

"DO YOU NEED MEDICAL HELP?!"

"WHAT?!"

"CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING I'M SAYING TO YOU RIGHT NOW?!" Goofy shouted directly over Sora's (bloody) ear.

"WHAAAAT?!" Sora shouted.

Donald shook his head sadly at the results. He then noticed the phone that hadn't been hung up yet, snatched it from Sora before everyone on the other end broke their eardrums listening to the shout-fest, and listened in.

"Hello?"

"—and that's how keyblades work!" Reev's voice said.

"WHAT?!" Donald squawked.

"Oh, hey Donald. When did you get the phone?" Percy asked.

"Since those two started a 'what'-fest. So, what was it about keyblades?" he asked.

"Oh, Reev was just explaining how keyblades work to her family."

"…well? Go on, tell me!"

"A KEYBLADE WORKS BY STABBING THE HEARTLESS' SOUL, AND THE HEARTLESS IS SO AMAZED BY THE FACT THAT A GIGANTIC METAL KEY IS STABBED INTO ITS SOUL, IT HAS A HEART ATTACK AND PROMPTLY DIES!" Reev answered from afar.

We're fifty percent sure that's how keyblades work around my family.

Percy: Uh, that's…very scientific.

Zelda: Well actually—

Agumon: Zelda, just…let it go.

Zelda: Are you making a Frozen reference?

Agumon: What!? No!

GREAT GOING, AGUMON, NOW WE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ELSA KIDNAPPING SERPERIOR AGAIN!

Pit: So, do you have divine inspiration yet? Because my finger's getting sore.

Heck yea, I have divine inspiration! These next ten chapters? ~They see me writin', they con-fused, gonna come and watch me write some awesome—GONNA SEE ME WRITE SOME AWESOME, GONNA WRITE SOME AWESOME-~

Percy: Yea, keep going with the author's note, Zelda, she's gonna be singing that for a while.

*Continued singing an entire parody of "Riddin' Dirty"*

Zelda: Thanks for your patience, everyone! Please review, follow, and favorite on your way out! Again, really sorry about the wait, those Pokémon were actually stuck in those blocks for about two months and we had no idea.

Dark Pit: We're terrible people.

Shulk: And Homs.

Pit: And angels—Shulk, when did you get here?

Shulk: I was trapped underneath the block pile.

Pit: …oh…g-good for you.

HUG AN EEVEE, EVERYONE! *Continues singing*