Selina and Pam stood on the curb, watching Harleen and Barbara conversing outside the restroom as they waited for Jo. Anthony was already in the car.
"Why the crutches?" Selina asked, breaking the silence, surprising Pam in the process as she had evidently forgotten the other woman was still there. "She's done with the chair, or…?"
"Experimental surgery," Pam's tone made it clear her words should have been in air quotes.
Selina leaned back against her car. "She couldn't make a full recovery?"
"We thought that was a little far-fetched. For now, at least."
Selina nodded until she was looking down at her feet. After a brief pause, she cleared her throat. "Is she happy?"
"Well, the chair was rather cumbersome," Pam answered. "It will certainly be helpful logistically."
"And what about you leaving your job? Is she happy about that?" She glanced over at Pam, who was looking at her with a curious expression. "Bruce and I have very few secrets." She quickly explained.
Jolene was probably making a mess of the soap dispenser, Pamela assumed, as that was the only explanation for what was taking so long. "I haven't told her yet," she mumbled.
A smirk spread across Selina's lips. "Yeah…I thought that might be the case." She pulled her hand in a fist out of her jacket pocket and held it out to the redhead.
With a raised eyebrow, Pam offered an open palm and a necklace was deposited into it. More understated than the one Selina was wearing around her neck, but still beautiful. "What's this for?" Pam asked.
"For in case you need to smooth things over," Selina explained.
Pam examined it, admiring how the glow of the streetlight reflected in the metal. "You stole this for her?"
"I thought I'd donate to a good cause," Selina looked satisfied with herself, but scuffed her heel on the pavement like she was unsure about something. Maybe even shy. "This is going to sound a cheesy," she began, her voice a bit quieter than normal, "but I'm proud of you, Ivy. You are honestly the most stubborn asshole I know and I just wanted to commend you on how far you've come." She cleared her throat. "I know you think Harl changed you, but other people can only inspire us to change. That influence is external. The actual mechanism—the action—comes from within us. Or, at least that's what the people at my AA meetings shove down my throat every night. So…give her credit if you want to, but at the end of the day, you have this life because you wanted it. Because you went out and got even if it meant feeling vulnerable, which I know you really fucking hate."
Pam was still starring down at the necklace. She didn't quite know what to say. She and Selina's relationship had always been complicated, to say the least. They defended each other to the world, sure, but in a one-on-one setting, things often got heated. Tempers flared. They were both too similar and too distinct…but, "Thank you." Pam said, finally meeting the woman's eyes. Green that seemed to shine just as brightly as the necklace under the lights. "This was…thoughtful."
"Yes, well—I'm a wonderful person."
/
"Dodo bird." Jo said as Pam pulled out of the parking lot, Harleen offering a final wave to Barbara.
Anthony rolled his eyes, "That's too easy."
"If it's so easy, then what's the answer?" Jo teased.
"1662." He told her, matter-of-factly.
"OK…" Jo furrowed her brow in thought. "Black Rhino."
"West African Black Rhinoceros," Anthony corrected.
"West Africa Black Rhinoceros," Jo repeated. "Now quit stallin!"
"Last reported sighting was 2006, but it wasn't officially declared extinct until 2011," Anthony proudly informed her.
"Hey, guys?" Harleen said from the front seat. "How about we don't play extinct species tonight. It sorta bums everyone out."
"Well if humans hadn't been so careless…" Pam and Anthony mumbled simultaneously.
"Ha!" Jo laughed. "Jinx! You guys owe me a coke."
"That's not the way jinxes work, Jolene," Anthony grumbled, turning his gaze out the window.
"Yeah, well, whatever happened to natural selection, huh?" Jo sat forward. "Didn't know I was bein' raised by a family that hates Darwin."
"I don't hate Darwin!" Anthony shot back. "You can accredit some extinctions to natural selection, like…sure, the Dodo bird, but in modern times, causes of extinction can more often than not be attributed to human activity and carelessness." He had a rapt audience in his sister, but a critical one. "Habitat destruction, increased human population, pollution, global warming, overhunting and fishing, poaching, introducing alien species into an enviornment…these are all factors, Jo, and they're all man-made."
"Mom!" Jo shouted. "What's the definition of Natural Selection? Word-fer-word."
Pam switched on her turn signal. "A natural process that results in the survival and reproductive success of individuals or groups best adjusted to their environment and that leads to the perpetuation of genetic qualities best suited to that particular environment." Harleen rolled her eyes, so Pam amended her statement with, "That's according to Webster's, anyway."
"OK, see?!" Jo said. "If humans are the dominant species, how come that's not still Natural Selection? Our genetic-whatevers are just best suited for the environment, that's all."
"Alrighty then," Harleen turned around. "How about you guys take a deep breath, huh? Your Mother is barely clinging to 'biggest nerd' status right now, and that's alarming, frankly."
Anthony and Jo both had their arms crossed sulkily over their chests at this point, but participated in Harley's breathing exercise none-the-less.
"That's a dumb argument, Jolene," Anthony mumbled once Harley had turned back around.
"No, you're a dumb argument!" was Jo's counter.
"Mom, she's being so childish! Please tell her to shut-up." Anthony begged.
"Well that's probably cuz I am a child," Jo reminded him, and not exactly gently.
Pam cleared her throat as she rounded the final corner towards home. "It is the obligation of the most evolved and advanced species to have discernment, just as it's our job as your parents to keep your best interests in mind." She pulled into the driveway and shut the car off. "I understand the constructs of your argument, Jolene. And you're right, if we were going solely off of the black and white clinical definition of that theory, from the standpoint of strict Darwinian adherence, I might be inclined to agree. But human beings need to take responsibility for their actions. And so, in that spirit, Anthony will be the bigger person and accept his victory with grace. Right?"
In response, Anthony unbuckled his seatbelt so that he could reach over and hug his sister. She pouted a bit at first, but was quickly overcome with affection and squeezed him back.
"Wait!" Harleen whipped out her phone, stopping them before they could break apart to take a picture. But did, eventually, allow them to go inside. Anthony headed straight for the piano while Jolene elected for a spot on the couch, flopping down and grabbing the TV remote.
"One show." Pam instructed. "You can watch one show and then you've got a chapter to read."
"Bleh," Jo spat, but sighed and nodded once she'd been fixed with a look, then sunk deeper into the pillows and navigated to Cartoon Network.
Harleen started up the stairs to change into something warmer, Pam looked like she was about to follow, but hesitated at the bottom with her hand on the rail. "You OK?" Harley asked.
"I—yes, I'm just thirsty," Pam quickly abandoned the stairs in favor or the kitchen, and Harleen looked after her questioningly until she'd ducked out of sight. With a shrug in Anthony's direction (who was studying Pam's behavior as well) she resumed her journey up the stairs, tossing her purse onto the bed before heading into the closet.
It was a minute or two before she heard the floor creek in the hallway.
"Why are you being weird?" Harley called out. "Did Selina say something to you?" She could feel Pam's eyes on her from the doorway before the woman approached, slowly, almost cautiously… Then Harley felt warm hands on her shoulders, moving down her arms and back up. Pamela cleared her throat, and Harley pressed against her, smiling at the feeling of Pam's chest on her back. "You were quiet today."
Harley heard the jingling of delicate metal, and just as she was about to turn around, Pamela was draping a silver chain around neck. She pulled a bit when clasping it into place and Harley giggled. "Is this how you murder me? How elegant."
Pam chuckled warmly into her ear. "If that was my endgame you'd have been plant food some time ago."
"Well that's…reassuring?" Harley looked down at the necklace. "Did I…is it our anniversary?"
"No…" Harley could feel Pam's smile against her neck. "But I have news."
"News?" The blonde chuckled, spinning around in her arms. "Come hither, brave traveler. What news do you bring?"
Pam attempted her usual affectionate eye roll at Harley's ridiculousness, but swallowed this time. It was subtle, but still an admission of some degree of anxiety. Evidently steeling her resolve, she moved forward and pressed her forehead against Harley's, taking a deep breath before saying, "I left my job."
Harley put a few inches of space between them, as if more distance would improve her hearing. "You what?"
Pam body language turned to defensive almost instantaneously. "I thought about what you said—about the kids missing me, and I…I left. I decided to come home. Like you asked me to."
"No—I—yes, but," So yeah, that's barely English. "Pam, you actually quit your job?"
"Well, no…I forfeited my position for the time being." The redhead clarified. "I didn't quit."
"Pam, are you—are you serious right now?" Harley wasn't sure if she wanted to smile or furrow her brow, so her expression ended up a confusing compromise. "You just…left? Just like that? Just out of the blue? After all this time?"
"No!" Pam quickly came to her own defense, although what she was defending herself against, Harley wasn't quite sure. The bad memory from the last time she'd 'brought news', likely. "A transition like this takes time and thorough contemplation. I've been putting things into place since we spoke, preparing for my absence from that world."
Harley stepped back fully, dropping her wife's hands. "Pamela Isley, if we have to move again I swear to fucking God…"
Pam was visibly relieved at the topic of Harley's concern. "That's not what I mean. I just had to add some equipment to my home lab and finish up a project."
"For two years?" Harley was fairly incredulous. More than she'd meant to be, maybe.
The redhead frowned. "I thought you would be happy about this…"
"Fuck, Pam, I am! I totally am. This is just all so…sudden, and a bit…well, too good to be true. I guess I'm just waiting for the catch. And—and you love your job, Babe."
"Yes…" Pam acknowledged. "But I also love you very much. You and the kids, and I want to be with you as often as I can. And…and I know it sounds silly, but I miss you when I'm gone. And while it's true on my worst days I am more effective than the people who make up my staff are on their best, I don't believe in giving partial effort or attention. It's unfair to all parties involved, and I have been distracted lately, mostly by thoughts of you all. So…" Pam glanced down at her feet briefly before returning her gaze to Harleen. "I choose you. I've decided to choose you."
Harleen was crying by this point. Because, of course she was crying.
This time, Pamela was successful with her affectionate eye roll. "Every time, Harleen? Must this be your reaction every time I give a speech?"
"Oh sue me for utilizing my tear ducts," The blonde laughed as she wiped the salty liquid away from her eyes. "But really, it's you that should be crying for me."
"Oh? Why's that?" a hint of a smile played on Pam's lips.
"With you at home, I fear the frequency of debates on Darwinism will increase." Harley said, trying her very best to keep a straight face. "I knew Anthony was a goner, he wears glasses, after all, but Jolene is still young and naïve and impressionable and I'm afraid you'll have your hooks in her before I can save her from an Ivy League education."
Pamela smirked, sauntering forward and wrapping her arms around Harley's waist. "I hate to break it to you, Daffodil," she leaned in and ghosted her lips up the other woman's neck, "But Jolene is 7 years old and familiar enough with Charles Darwin to casually cite his theories as evidence in a debate…" she planted a kiss at the base of her jaw. "I'm fairly certain I've already got her."
"Mmm…How cruel," Harley pulled the other woman's face upwards to give her a proper kiss. "And here I thought Poison Ivy had turned a new leaf…"
"…"
"…see what I did there?"
"…"
"Pam, did you see what I did there?"
"Yes, Harley. I did."
"'Leaf' because of the whole, you're a plant thing."
"Yes, thank you, Harley. I got it."