Thanks to Pinkpoodle8, nick2951, and venna26 for reviewing. I appreciate the feedback!

This chapter is really where things start to heat up, plot wise. Just a fair warning, there is a possible trigger for sexual assault late in the chapter. It is not graphic, however. Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 3

I decided when I was twelve that the most extensive birthday party I will ever want is a sleepover with three friends, tops, and maybe a shopping trip with Mom.

It's been three years and that hasn't changed.

I probably wasn't self-conscious enough at the time to realize it, but now I'm sure that the reason I decided that was because everyone else seems to feel the exact opposite. Forget the specialty of a "sweet sixteen." In Rosewood, every birthday is "sweet."

It's only a few months into the school year, and already in the sophomore class, there have been two huge dance club parties, the entire bowling arena has been rented out three times, and even a huge bash on a yacht. All including catering and some not-so-secret alcohol, naturally. I went to all of them and honestly, none of them were that great.

Thankfully my birthday isn't until March, when most of the party craziness has started to die down. It's mostly the kids with earlier birthdays who throw the biggest parties, to try and impress everyone else. By the time the second semester rolls around, most people are just trying to survive and no one cares who else is having a huge celebration (as long as they can still have one, of course).

I wish I could say that Mona felt the same way. But I think it's pretty obvious by now that we are not very similar.

Last year, her party was in a huge ballroom and we all had to wear formal dresses and eat very small portions of food. So apparently this year she has decided to go completely in the opposite direction. She is having her seventeenth birthday party in the woods. Camping. Or "glamping," which doesn't sound like a real thing.

I'm going, of course. Actually I'm the only sophomore invited, and I'm not allowed to invite anyone else in my class because that would be socially unacceptable. So, since I'm not really friends with anyone in the junior class, I'm already prepared to have a horrible time.

But I'm not as bad a sister as I sound. As soon as Mona walks downstairs the day of the party, I grab her and scream, "Happy birthday!" The two cups of coffee I've already had this morning don't hurt.

"You're sweet." She smiles and pulls away. "Okay. How psyched are you for tonight?"

I consider whether I have the heart to tell her the truth and decide that I don't. So I try to be kind when I say, "Yeah, it'll be fun. I'm not sure who I'm going to hang out with, though."

She looks at me like I am the dumbest person who has ever walked the earth. "Um, me, of course?"

I return the look. She can't be serious. The only reason she invited me to her party in the first place is because Mom made her. "You seriously want to spend most of your birthday party with me? You're kidding."

Mona laughs and says cheerfully, "Of course I don't! But I need somebody to be my mini me and make sure everything gets done, right?"

I should have known there would be a catch. "Why me? What about Hanna?"

Her face darkens. "Hanna was uninvited. That bitch is dead to me."

Oh. I can't believe I forgot. Just a few days ago, some blocked number sent Mona a text just to tell her that during the summer they both made themselves over, Hanna got liposuction to lose all the weight she did instead of dieting or exercising. The text was only signed by "A," which I guess means anonymous.

Anyway, I generally don't believe things that are told to me through mysterious anonymous text messages, but Mona took this as a complete personal offense, because she spent that entire summer eating practically nothing even though she's always been a stick. And now she's no longer friends with Hanna.

You'd think that's the sort of thing I would remember, but for some reason I chose to spend the past few days focusing on a big geometry test instead of my sister's stupid drama.

My priorities are obviously very screwed up.

And now this party is looking more unappealing than before. I think I would rather spend the night sulking on a tree stump by myself than trailing Mona around, watching her scream at the caterers, because she generally turns into more of a psycho than usual during any kind of event.

But it's her birthday and I don't want to be too rude, so I force a smile on my face and say, "Great. I can't wait."

…

My job is to make sure all of the guests get signed up for a time to get their hair blown out, which is only one of the many tents scattered around the campsite. I've only seen one girl come out so far, and the results were not pretty. I think I'll pass.

The party started about twenty minutes ago and there are already over fifty people here. There are big tents with basically everything you could find in a spa, smaller tents for people to sleep in overnight, and tables filled with desserts. I'm starting to finally understand what "glamping" means now.

Once all the guests have received their "swag bags" (which makes me laugh), and been signed up to get blown (which makes me laugh harder), I wrench Mona away from yelling at some poor member of the catering staff who dared eat a cookie and go to sit on one of the tree stumps. There are some juniors around me, talking about things I don't understand and people I don't know, and I am completely ignored.

An hour later, I get a little bored of playing games on my phone and stand up, adjusting my blue tank top. People are getting a little drunker and a lot louder, but I don't feel like joining in. I had one beer about half an hour ago and it somehow only made me more aware of all the mosquito bites I'm getting.

The woods loom all around the campsite, looking dark and a little scary. But I decide that being around a bunch of drunk juniors I don't know is scarier, so I grab a flashlight from a table nearby and plunge in.

It only takes a few minutes of walking before most of the sound from the party has been drained out by the heavy leaves. It's getting late, and the cool October air is making it cold. After only about ten minutes, I have goose bumps all over my arms and I'm thinking about turning around and finding my way back to the party. The silence has made my headache go away and I think I can stand the rest of the night now.

Before I can turn back, something to my left catches my eye. It's two beams of light, completely visible in the otherwise total darkness. Though the two circles are way bigger than my flashlight, I figure it's just a few other kids, probably making out or more. But I push a few branches aside anyway, curious, and find myself near a clearing beside the park.

And the two bright lights are not flashlights. They're headlights, which makes sense because there's a dark blue car parked in the clearing, where I'm pretty sure a car is not supposed to be parked. The lights are not on in the car, but I can make out two dark figures, kissing.

"Of course," I mutter, rolling my eyes, but the mystery of why they needed to drive a car here to make out is interesting enough to keep me moving. I creep a little closer, cautiously pushing branches and leaves out of my way until I'm just a few yards away from the side of the car. I click my flashlight off and squint.

I can make out the side of one face. It's Aria. Of course. She probably snuck away from the party with Noel Kahn, who she's been dating for a few weeks. I don't blame her. Out of all the guys at our school, including even the seniors, he's by far the hottest.

But something still doesn't make sense. Both Aria and Noel came to Mona's party. Where did the car come from? And why is it all the way on the other side of the woods?

Then the guy in the car turns partially away from Aria, and I gasp so loudly that I'm sure they both hear me. I duck down behind the bush I'm hiding behind, my hand over my mouth.

Mr. Fitz?

For some reason my brain shuts off for a few seconds and I can't comprehend why Aria would be in a car with her English teacher and my study hall supervisor. Why would he even be here in the first place?

And then my brain turns back on and I remember what they were doing just two seconds ago. Kissing.

Aria Montgomery is having an affair with her English teacher.

I actually let out a laugh, then clap my hand back over my mouth, shaking my head in disbelief. Last year a teacher at a high school a few towns over had an affair with a student, and it was all over the news for months.

I sit on the ground, turned away from the car, and pull my knees up to my chest. Should I tell someone about this? Obviously a student dating a teacher is against school policy. But I'm not really sure this is my business. And anyway, what if I completely misread what was going on? What if this is a one time thing? It doesn't really look like it, but the last thing I want to do is spread some rumor before I know it's true.

I feel like that one beer might make a reappearance. It's too late and I'm too tired to think about this more tonight. I'll decide what to do tomorrow morning, after the party.

I stand up to leave and shoot one more glance behind me at the car, just in time to see a figure appear out of the trees across from me. Though they don't seem to see me, I drop back to my knees and peer through the branches.

Whoever this is wearing one of the hoodies that were passed out in the gift bags. The hood is pulled up around their face. They run right up to the back of the car and it looks to me like they write something on the steam on the back window.

I stare, mesmerized. This night could not possibly get any crazier. Then the person straightens up and glances around before taking off back into the woods.

It's Noel.

I take back my previous statement.

Maybe I really am drunk, I wonder as I stumble back toward the party, wanting to get away from this situation before anything else insane happens. My head is spinning as I trip on a root and literally fall back onto the campgrounds.

I watch everyone else laugh and drink and have a generally carefree time while I'm sitting on the biggest secret of my life. If anyone else finds out about this, Mr. Fitz could be fired and Aria could get a reputation way worse than just "artsy."

But someone else does know, I realize as I plop down on a tree stump in a daze. Noel knows. And as hot as he might be, he's also one of the biggest jerks in school. There's no way he's going to let this go.

I'm not sure how long I sit there, dwelling on all of this, before Mona appears out of nowhere and pulls me up. She's crying. "What? What's wrong?" I ask, trying to remove myself from one crisis and prepare myself for another.

She grabs my hand, shaking her head. "Hanna just got hit by a car."

"What?" I can hear sirens in the distance, and by now it seems like this news has spread. People are running toward the parking lot. "Oh my god."

We run along with everyone else. The parking lot is mostly empty aside from a few parked cars. The ambulance has arrived and Hanna is being strapped onto a stretcher. She appears to be unconscious. My gasp turns into a sob halfway through.

Most of the kids from the party have made a wide arc around the ambulance. Spencer, Aria, and Emily stand in the center of it, hugging each other and sobbing. My stomach is churning. "Who hit her?" I cry, looking around.

"I don't know, I didn't see it happen," Mona says, not meeting my eyes. "Spencer said it was a hit and run."

"Oh my god," I say again. My headache has returned. I clutch the pearl on the end of my necklace, and I suddenly realize that Hanna was the one who gave it to me, for my last birthday. I'm pretty sure she shoplifted it, but still. It's the thought that counts.

Everyone collectively watches the ambulance until it disappears around a corner. I shudder and begin to trudge back to the party, wiping tears from my eyes. Hanna will be okay. She has to be. I mean, no one's ever actually died from being hit by a car, right?

By the time I get back to the campsite, I've decided that there's no way I can stay overnight here. I grab my bag and my jacket and am just about to text my mom to pick me up when my phone dings with a new text message.

Maybe my mom heard about the accident, I think as I pull out my phone. Maybe she's on her way here now.

But it's not her. The text is from a blocked number, labeled "Unknown."

Uh-oh, Viola! Looks like you saw something you shouldn't have! Don't spill their secret, or I'll spill yours. –A.

I stare at the screen. A? That was the same person who sent Mona that text about Hanna's liposuction. But this message seems more like an actual threat.

My vision blurs around the word "secret." I stumble back and sit on a log, turning my phone over and clutching it in my hand as the memory comes back to me.

…

I knew that the party was going to be a bad idea before I even got to Sean's house. There were way too many cars lined up and down the street, and I could hear the thumping bass of the music when I was a block away. There was no way that there wasn't going to be a million juniors and seniors at this party. Maybe even some kids from Hollis.

But there was also no way that I wasn't going anyway. An upcoming freshman being invited to a high school party, even a sophomore one, was basically unheard of.

The house was packed with people. Aside from some of the sophomores, I barely recognized anyone. Mostly there were kids that looked like they were around sixteen or seventeen, but when I walked into the kitchen I spotted Sean's older brother and a whole bunch of people who must have been in their early twenties. I recognized Melissa Hastings, Spencer's older sister, standing with her boyfriend from high school, Ian Thomas. I grimaced. Back before he graduated college, Ian had spent summers helping coach middle school field hockey, which I played between sixth and seventh grade. All of the other girls on the team had had huge crushes on him, but I'd always found him creepy.

Ian glanced away from Melissa and gave a quick smile and nod in my direction. I thought for a second that he was looking at me, but turned away and spotted Alison and her clique standing in the doorway. She was in the very front, as usual, with her posse assembled around her.

Alison generally never paid much attention to me, probably because I was a year younger than her so officially insignificant, but that night she walked right up with a big smile, holding a red cup in each hand. "Hey, Viola."

I resisted the urge to punch her and forced a smile. "Oh, hey Alison. Hey guys," I called back to the others, who looked generally just as uncomfortable at this party as I felt.

"Here." She held out one of the cups to me. "I saw you empty-handed and grabbed you a drink."

I took it carefully, trying to decide the likeliness of her poisoning it. She raised her eyebrows at me so I took a sip. I wasn't sure what I had been expecting, but it definitely was not the sour taste of beer going down my throat. I held back a cough.

Alison glanced at me, then at Ian, and smirked. "He's so hot, isn't he? Don't you think, Spence?" she said to Spencer, who was standing to her left and a little farther back. There was something in her tone that seemed a little off.

Spencer scowled at her, crossing her arms. "Cut it out, Ali." Aria, Hanna, and Emily exchanged confused glances.

I felt something pass between Alison and Spencer and decided that I'd better get out of here. Anyway, hanging out with Alison DiLaurentis was not how I'd planned to spend my first official big party.

I tried to squeeze between them without being noticed, but Alison put a hand on my arm to stop me. "Why don't you hang out with us tonight?" she asked, smiling. "You really could use a better influence."

The best thing to do around Alison was to bite your tongue, but by this point I really didn't care anymore. "Maybe I do," I snapped, stepping closer to her. "Too bad there's not one around here." I drained my cup of beer in one gulp and threw it at her feet, then pushed between Aria and Emily and hurried out of the room.

My head was pounding with adrenaline, and I was aware that more than a few people were looking at me. No one ever seemed to stand up to Alison, not even people close to ten years older than her. I was terrified, but I also felt a little invincible.

That might have just been the beer talking, though. That had been my first one, ever, and it had tasted horrible, and now the hallway was spinning around me, but even all of that couldn't put an end to my high.

Until half an hour and two more beers later, that is.

My head was pounding in a different way. All of the adrenaline had worn off into the new feeling that I was going to throw up. The realization that I needed to find a bathroom hit me all at once.

I stumbled through the den and kitchen, heading to the hallway leading to the downstairs bathroom. I was nearly to the doorway when I stopped in my tracks. Alison and the other girls were standing in the doorway, huddled together. I froze. My confrontation with Alison had felt great, but now that I was officially drunk, I wasn't sure if I could handle another one.

I turned and hurdled through the crowd of people before she could spot me, and headed upstairs instead, gripping the railing tightly. Suddenly this party wasn't so much fun anymore. I should have just stayed home and watched a movie with my mom and sister.

There were several doors to my left and right at the top of the stairs. The first door to the left was open, so I hoped desperately for a bathroom and plunged inside, flicking on the light.

It was not a bathroom. It was a bedroom. Even more mortifyingly, it appeared to be Sean's parents' bedroom. The only thing making this not completely terrible was the fact that at least it was empty.

I started to turn and return to my search when my vision started to spin too badly for me to take another step. I plopped down on the edge of the bed and groaned into my hands.

The dizziness was just starting to subside when I heard a voice from the doorway. "Everything alright in here?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself and looked up. Ian stood in the doorway, looking even taller and more muscular than usual. "Viola," he said in surprise, dropping his arms to his sides. "Everything okay?"

My throat suddenly went dry. I coughed and swallowed hard, then choked out, "Uh, yeah, I just…I'm a little…"

"Ah, I get it," he chuckled, moving farther into the room and sitting beside me on the bed. "First big high school party, huh?"

I shifted away and nodded. He laughed. "Oh, geez, I remember my first time. I got so drunk I ended up falling asleep on the ping-pong table."

Obviously this was supposed to be funny, but I wasn't really in the mood for jokes. All I wanted was to go home, but I wasn't even sure I had the strength to move. Ian smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. For some reason, he didn't seem to be giving me the same creepy vibes that he usually did. I almost felt a little safer with him there.

"It'll be alright," he said quietly. "You'll sleep heavy tonight, and tomorrow will be a little rough, but you'll be alright." He stood, walked over to the door, and closed it quietly.

I bolted upright too quickly. The dizziness flooded back. "Why did you do that?"

He gave me a concerned look. "You don't want anyone else to see you like this, do you?"

"No," I replied, because that was definitely the truth. "I don't."

He walked back over, this time kneeling down in front of me. "Maybe this'll make you feel better," he whispered, and pressed his lips to mine before I could react.

I pulled away and gaped. That had just been my first kiss, and I wasn't even sober enough to enjoy it. The logical part of me was screaming to run, to fling open the door and not look back, but the drunk part of me couldn't stop thinking that Ian was much better looking than I had ever realized before.

"See?" He grinned a little crookedly. "Your color's back already." He stood and pulled me toward him, kissing me again, this time a little harder.

This was wrong. This was all so wrong. And what was even more wrong was that I couldn't help but enjoy it. It helped that Ian could easily still pass for a college freshman. Imagining that made this whole situation significantly less weird.

His mouth moved to my neck and his hand slid under the back of my shirt. I did not mind at all until I felt his grip slide a little lower than just the small of my back.

"Wait," I gasped, pulling my lips away from his. "This – "

He pulled me back toward him, aggressively enough to shock me into silence. I felt his hand pull the strap of my tank top off my shoulder, my bra strap going with it.

It wasn't until the other strap was off that I realized all at once what was happening.

"Ian," I cried out, struggling. "Stop it." My arms were pinned to my sides and he kissed me again, although this time I was far from any enjoyment.

I was fully aware by this time. It was like fear had replaced any sense of being drunk. Anger began to take over, and I mustered all of my strength and wrenched my arms free, placing my hands on his chest and pushing him away.

He grimaced, looking put out for a moment. "What the hell are you doing, Viola? Isn't this what you wanted?"

"No!" I cried, hastily pulling the straps of my tank top back on before everything was revealed. "Not at all!"

He grabbed my hand, pulling me back toward him, but I wrenched myself free and grabbed the doorknob, practically vaulting myself into the hallway and down the stairs.

People shouted slurred insults at me as I shoved past them, sloshing their drinks, but I was barely conscious of anything, running until I was out on the street and two houses down.

I finally slowed to a stop, my thoughts catching up to me. Ian Thomas had just forced himself on me. He would have full-out raped me, if I hadn't gotten away.

I rubbed the goose bumps on my bare arms, standing in the center of the sidewalk. The word "rape" repeated in my head until I couldn't take it anymore, and slid right to the ground, sobbing.

…

I shudder involuntarily, the text running through my head. That has to be the secret that "A" is talking about. I told absolutely no one about what happened to me that night, not my parents, not my sister, not any of my friends. I knew that I shouldn't have kept it to myself, but I couldn't handle saying the words out loud.

But someone knows. And that same someone is threatening to tell everyone.

My shudder turns into full-out shaking. But who can possibly know this? Was someone watching that night? Did someone see what happened? As far as I know, the only two people who know are me…and Ian.

But Ian can't possibly be "A," can he? Why would he wait so long to hold this over my head? And why would he care at all about Aria and Mr. Fitz?

My first instinct is to dial 911 and tell them all about this message. I'm pretty sure threatening people over texts is not considered okay by the law. But, once again, the more illogical part of my brain stops me.

Do I really want people to know that Ian forced himself on me? I mean, yes, he is an adult and I was fourteen at the time. But in Rosewood, that doesn't matter. Last year, an eighth grader was caught making out with a freshman at Hollis College. She's been called a slut ever since.

I've worked pretty hard to keep up a good image and stay off the radar. I really don't need any labels like that on me.

I glance once more at the message and stand up from the log, brushing back my hair and trying to smile. No one needs to know about this. It's not like I have to actually do anything to keep my secret. I just have to keep my mouth closed.

I can do that. I've been doing that my whole life.