CHAPTER 38: INSPIRITING

"This is it, our home!" Tifa laughed, collapsing on her back on the floor of what would be their living room.

Cloud gave a weary smile. The place was sparsely furnished with whatever the previous resident decided not to take with him. He was ashamed that he couldn't provide a better place for them at the moment, but was grateful for her optimism and enthusiasm. The tiny place was on the third floor of a four story apartment building in the slums of Sector Three. Not only was the building on the verge of being condemned, but it was in a particularly shady area and the young husband was concerned about the safety of his little wife and his ability to protect her. The way things were here, Cloud would keep her locked away in their apartment if he could: away from the gangsters, prostitutes, muggers and thieves. But he couldn't do that. He had no idea how long it would take them to save up enough money to move out of Midgar—it could be any number of months or years before he built a sufficient savings or was able to transfer to another military post. Anxiety and inadequacy swelled inside him, making his throat tight.

Cloud scratched his nose and looked around. "Do you like it?"

There were three rooms: a modest living space with a kitchenette, a tiny bedroom, and an even smaller bathroom. His mother's cottage had been small, but this place seemed to be less than half the square footage of his old home. Tifa was used to living in a spacious house with plenty of room to breathe. Cloud felt like he had done her wrong to drag her from a sea of evergreen to the grey of the slums, taking her from her little castle to hide her away in a shoebox. But it wouldn't be forever, right?

"I love it! Your friend did a great job!" she said, stretching out on the dusty hardwood floor. She lifted her eyes to the ceiling where there was peeling paint and water stains. "It just needs a little love, that's all."

"A lot of love," Cloud chuckled. The landlord had given them a quick tour before they agreed to rent the place. He had accepted immediately, because he knew that no one else would rent to a pair of fifteen year olds. Oh, how he wished he could afford a place on top of the plate! They were going to be living in a dangerous place and the unease in his chest was unrelenting.

During his scheduled patrol routes in the slums of Sector Seven, Cloud's eyes had been opened to the awful reality of life under the plate. Everywhere, people were desperate and poor. On more than one occasion he and his patrol mate had broken up bar fights, caught thieves and even been shot at. Down here, most people weren't fond of ShinRA. They felt oppressed and ignored, their pleas to the mega-corporation always falling upon deaf ears. The constant power outages, the outrageous crime rate and lack of supplies had driven away all respect for President Shinra and confidence in his leadership. People didn't stay in the slums because they wanted to, unless they were criminals looking to disappear. The opportunities for well-paying employment were few and far between. Some of the richest people under the plate were involved in drug dealing or sex trafficking— things that he never wanted Tifa to even know about.

He had to get her out of here as soon as he could.

Tifa hauled herself to her feet and began to bounce around their flat, exploring their little kitchen in detail. Cloud moved into the bedroom where a twin bed sat alone against the far wall, the mattress discolored and lumpy looking. A single window cast orange glow from a street light into the gloomy little room and he sighed upon seeing the large crack in the sheetrock below the sill. He heard Tifa's bare feet pattering up behind him.

"Aren't we lucky?" she giggled. "We didn't have to buy a bed. Or a tea kettle—there was one under the sink!" She flopped onto the bed and took his hand in both of hers.

"You're something else, you know that?" He teased, moving to sit beside her. "You're the only one who could live here and think that they were lucky."

"It's not like Nibelheim, but that's alright. This is our home, all to ourselves! No one can tell us what to do or what to cook or how to act!" She bounced a little on the mattress.

"Maybe that's the best part of it all: it's NOT like Nibelheim."

It had only been about a week since she left home, but homesickness and a feeling of displacement had been rising in her heart since they crossed the city border. But the busyness of finding a place to live and the overwhelming infatuation with her new husband were enough of a distraction for now. She swallowed at the vision of mountains and rivers and the memory of the scent of pine. How could anything be better than that beauty? She looked to him for clarification.

Seeing her unvoiced question, he continued. "Back at home, everything we did was under public scrutiny. Here, no one cares. Everyone minds their own business. Here, you could be yourself and not have to worry what everyone thinks."

What a freeing concept.

She opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again when there was a pounding on the door. They stared at each other for a moment before the knock sounded again. Cloud stood, posture stiff. You never know who could be at your door in Midgar, and he had a wife to protect. Blonde eyebrows drew together in a frown when he realized that Tifa could probably better protect him than he could protect her.

"Hey! Open up, it's me!"

Cloud's shoulders slumped with relief and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He moved to the front door and Tifa followed, lingering shyly at the far end of the living room. The door was opened to reveal a tall man with a mane of disheveled black hair that was somehow more tame than Cloud's unruly locks. Tifa sensed that his presence alone made her husband feel at ease and her manners screamed at her to be polite and introduce herself. But his eyes…his eyes. Something was wrong, and it froze her feet to the floor.

"So how do you like it, buddy?" He clamped a strong hand on Cloud's shoulder before his gaze landed upon her. "Oh, hey! You must be Tifa! Cloud hasn't stopped talkin' about you since I met him! It's nice to meet you in the flesh."

He moved as he spoke, crossing the distance between them in two large strides. Tifa put a smile on her face as he grabbed her hand in a firm shake. She squeezed back.

"Woah, quite a grip you've got there, little lady! She's a strong one, Cloud!"

Cloud smiled and shook his head, "You have no idea."

The man was so friendly and jovial with a smile and demeanor that made Tifa believe he could befriend a dragon, if he tried. But something about him was synthetic and disturbing and it intimidated her. The need to be courteous swallowed her hesitation and she summoned her friendliest smile. "A pleasure to meet you, Mister—"

"Zack!" he offered. "Zack Fair! First Class SOLDIER, at your service!"

Oh. She took in the black uniform from pauldrons to combat boots. So this is what Cloud wanted to be? A warrior with haunting, icy eyes that were so bright they seemed to glow. Wait—were they actually glowing? Tifa wasn't sure how long she had been staring into his eyes before she realized how rude she was being. She jerked her gaze away as Zack let out a hearty laugh.

"You like 'em?" He flashed a toothy grin as he pointed to one cerulean eye. "Mako infused—cool, right?"

Cheeks dusted pink from embarrassment, she kept her face mostly averted. "…They put mako into your eyes?"

"Nah, they inject it into our bodies. Part of the SOLDIER program. It enhances our strength and all our senses!"

Tifa glanced at the bare lightbulb on the ceiling. How could the same substance that brought electric power to the world be coursing through a human body? How was that safe? If Cloud became a SOLDIER, he'd be subjected to the same treatment, and she wasn't entirely sure she was comfortable with that. Cloud moved to stand next to his wife, grinning up at his best friend.

"Thank you so much for helping us out—the couple of nights we spent in my cramped dorm were awful. We would've been stuck there for much longer if it hadn't been for you."

Looking around, Zack couldn't imagine that his ShinRA dorm could be much more cramped than this tiny place. But he was always eager to please, and if he knew any way he could make Cloud's life any easier he'd certainly aim to do it!

"Thank you, Mr. Fair. Please, sit down." Tifa gestured to the beat up sofa against the wall. "I'm sorry we don't have any refreshments to serve you, we just got here."

"No, no—it's alright! 'Gotta report to HQ in half an hour. I just wanted to check on you guys and make sure you two didn't need help movin' in."

"We really don't have many things to move in." Cloud shrugged. "Everything we have fit in Tifa's suitcase and our duffels."

"Well, if you need anything else, there's a second hand place in the Sector Four market. Just hop the train over there and it's right past the station. You can't miss it!"

"I know the one. Thanks, Zack." Cloud reached out to shake his friend's hand. "See you at work tomorrow?"

"Bright and early!"

Tifa gave a polite bow of her head. "Take care, Mr. Fair. You'll join us for a meal one day, won't you?"

"Home cooked food and good company? How could I resist!" The large man stepped towards the door. "See you love birds later!"

… … …

It was her first time out and about in Midgar, and she was truly terrified. After Zack left, the couple had made a short list of apartment necessities and set out to search for them.

Tifa feared that in taking her on as a wife, Cloud will feel as if he was lugging a bag of sand back and forth across the city. She was wholly dependent on him, and while Tifa knew he would take care of her, she resented herself for her bewildered state. How could she be a useful partner if she couldn't do her duties? She hadn't the slightest idea where to acquire food, a washboard, or material for clothes.

Everything was dark. Tifa couldn't understand how the people could live here, never being able tell the time of day by the position of the sun or feel the pleasant patter of rain drops on their skin. Worst of all, there wasn't a plant in sight! There were no trees, no grass, no wild forest vines. An anxious pit formed in her stomach as Cloud had led her around by the hand. All of her senses were immediately overwhelmed. There was so much noise: automobiles, music, people. The sound of traffic rumbling past was a constant backdrop. Wooden cart clamored past as shop owners shouted at passersby, advertising their goods. The shrill screeching of trains pulling in and out of the stations made her wince. There was concrete in every direction and the thick scent of smoke and fumes and filth hung heavily in the air. Her chest burned when she breathed and she wondered if this is what Cloud used to feel like when he was sick as a child, since his lungs had been so weak. But the most startling thing to Tifa was the overwhelming number of people bustling around. She had never seen so many people in her life! Bright electric lights and big screens flashing advertisements lit up the busy avenue. It was like another world.

Tifa had no trouble matching Cloud's swift strides as they made their way off the train and into the market place. At first, she had smiled and greeted everyone she could with a quick 'hello' until Cloud had gently suggested that she keep her head down and avoid eye contact. She obeyed, trusting her husband, but couldn't understand why: it felt strange to be so rude! It wasn't until they had reached their destination when Tifa realized that no one wanted her to greet them. In fact, no one looked like they wanted anything to do with anyone. Everyone was in a hurry and no one was smiling. She kept her eyes on the back of Cloud's blonde head, trying to mimic his demeanor. The faster she learned to fit in here, the better. Having her husband to guide and protect her made her feel a tiny bit less afraid.

People shoved past them as Cloud pulled his wife into a shabby wooden structure—a thrift shop of sorts. Tifa was shocked by how many people had run into them or bumped her shoulder without so much as a 'pardon me'. Maybe it was because they were young?

"Cloud," she whispered, now that they were inside. "Do you think people would've let us through easier if you were wearing your uniform? Military personnel should get more respect."

"It'd be worse." He shook his head, biting back a sigh. "People living in the slums aren't really fond of ShinRA, so let's keep it quiet that I'm a serviceman. It could get me in trouble down here, especially if I'm alone."

It made Tifa dizzy just how much she needed to learn. Cloud was busy looking for second hand silverware while all she could do was discreetly stare at other customers. The men wore strange, sleeveless shirts and shabby trousers worn at the hems and knees. The women made Tifa blush with their bare midriffs and pants even shorter than the bloomers underneath her dress. If Papa had been ashamed of her wearing her pants and sparring tunic, he would've turned white as a sheet if she had ever worn something like that. Didn't the women feel exposed, embarrassed, or at least cold? It was indecent to be so scantily dressed. She strained her ears to pick up on snippets of conversations and she found herself struggling to understand their foreign dialect.

"Look what I found." Cloud held up a plain dinner plate. "Three plates for 1 gil! There's a pot and a skillet here for cheap, too."

Right. She was supposed to be helping him shop. Tifa ran her gaze over the crowded shelves of housewares and gadgets.

"What's this?" She slowly read the handwritten tag, self-conscious that her literacy level was nowhere near her husband's. It had been ages since she had read aloud, or practiced in the presence of others. Sure, she scoured the newspapers at home during Cloud's absence but she hadn't had any guidance since she was eight. Would he regret marrying her if he knew about how lacking her ability to read was? "A m-microwave…"

"Oh, that's a machine that heats up food for you. You don't even have to use the stove!"

"Woah."

"It's almost as cool as the little washing machine in our bathroom. It washes clothes for you if you put the soap inside."

"You mean, I don't have to do it by hand?"

He grinned. "Nope! Unless you want to rub your fingers raw! Midgar definitely has its downsides, but you can't beat the convenience."

It took them half an hour to buy the basics they needed. Carefully, they packed them into Cloud's leather pack before heading off in search of a few groceries to stuff in Tifa's satchel. She felt so foolish and naïve as she followed him around the convenience store. Discovering that they didn't have to make their own soap or can their own food was shocking! There was neither sun nor fertile ground, so no one in Midgar could be expected to keep their own gardens. But it was so hard for her to imagine a life where one didn't at least grow some of their own food. Tifa had never lived in a world where everything had to be purchased. It made her feel both secure and vulnerable. Food was always available, as long as you had gil to buy it. If you hadn't enough gil, you had no alternative option to feed yourself.

This wasn't just a change in location, but a change in every aspect of her lifestyle. At home, if she ran into trouble, she could always reach out to a fellow Nibelheim resident. They hadn't been the most friendly of people, but compared the inhabitants of the slums they were absolutely angelic. Here, she was on her own if it wasn't for Cloud. She'd get used to it, right?

… … …

Cloud sighed as he leaned back against the worn couch cushions. His eyes ran over the scrap paper in one hand as he tapped his knee with the pen in the other.

Monthy stipend: 3800 gil
Rent: 2000 gil
Estimated mako and water bills:600 gil
Monthly train fare:200 gil
Food/Savings/Misc. Expenses: 1000 gil

How had Mom managed to do it? Cloud had no idea how hard it was to strike out on his own and fund a household. It was so hard to afford basic amenities.

In Nibelheim, having one thousand gil per month to spend on food and household goods would mean easy living. But here in the big city, everything was much more expensive. With his income, Cloud would've been able to have a house built and have more than enough to buy ample food and whatever else they needed. The inflated prices of everything in Midgar made his wages a pittance, really. Even if they only spent two hundred gil on food every week (which wouldn't be very much), that would only leave them with two hundred to put aside each month—they'd never save enough to leave the city! He'd have to work some overtime or sign up for as many missions as possible for the extra money. Sure, he had a small savings, but Cloud still felt insecure.

A savory smell reached his nostrils and he looked up to watch Tifa happily buzzing about the kitchen as she prepared dinner for two. She felt his eyes on her and flashed him a smile. They'd figure it all out, right?

"Sorry if I'm taking too long! I'm trying to get used to the electric stove." She giggled, adjusting the burner knob. "I keep reaching for the wood box when I can just turn the thing!"

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"Uh huh! I can't wait to try out the washing machine for our clothes."

"There's an electric dryer, too."

"No way!"

Cloud folded the scrap paper, shoving it into his pocket. Tomorrow would be his first day back at work, and he'd have to catch the early train to make it to the upper plate on time to report for duty at five in the morning. By the time he got home, it could be well past six in the evening, and his stomach churned at the thought of leaving Tifa alone for so long. Would she be alright?

The conversation over cheap pasta on mismatched plates was light and cheerful, full of hopeful discussion about their future together. Exhaustion from such an eventful week brought frequent pauses, which were filled with the ambient sounds of people and traffic in the city. Tifa commented on how strange it was to live in such a loud place, wondering why so many people were still wandering about instead of eating dinner with their families. He remembered what it had been like to be shocked by the noise pollution upon his arrival to Midgar and wondered if she'd be able to find sleep easier than he had. Nibelheim was a slow moving village even during the day. In Midgar, the hubbub never seemed to stop. Without sunlight, the only way to tell the time was by the clock.

Before long, the tired couple moved to their little bedroom and lay side by side on the mattress, bare except for Claudia's thick woolen quilt. The narrowness of the twin size bed and the addicting feeling of proximity kept them pressed close together: her cheek against his chest, his arm over her shoulder. Tifa felt Cloud rest his chin on the top of her head and she tangled her legs with his.

"You have to go back to work tomorrow, right?"

"Mm. I don't want to leave you here alone, though." He took a deep breath, considering the situation. "I want to get you a PHS, so you could call me in an emergency, but we don't have the gil for that right now."

Tifa turned her head to kiss his Adam's apple. "It's alright. You taught me how to get to the ShinRA building. If I needed to reach you, I could ask for you at the front desk."

"But what if you get lost in the slums?"

"I'd just need to get to the train station, and that's only a few blocks away. I know how to get there."

"What if someone tries to harm you?"

"Then I'll show them why they shouldn't mess with student of Zangan's!"

Cloud smiled and rubbed her back. Leading Tifa through the slums of Midgar had reminded him of a lifetime ago when he had held her hand when they were lost in the woods after dark. Although he was now grown, he wished he had the confidence of an adult. Cloud constantly fretted over whether or not he could really keep Tifa safe in this dangerous city. He hadn't forgotten that his wife could turn her body into a deadly weapon, but his protective instincts wouldn't let up. She was tough—mentally and physically—but she was also new to this dirty place. No amount of physical strength or prowess could counter the deadliness of naivety in the slums. He'd have to do his best to show her the ropes as soon as possible. Gently, he took her hand and brought it up towards his face.

"You have beautiful hands, Tifa. I don't want you to have to fight."

Tifa felt her face heating up, both from Cloud's praise and from the embarrassment of her knuckles, rough and scarred from years of sparring with Zangan and protecting her home town. How could he possibly think her hands were beautiful?

"O-oh, no. My hands are all beat up…"

He locked eyes with her before placing a gentle kiss on the ridge of her knuckle. "They're perfect. I want you to use your beautiful hands for beautiful things. I don't ever want you to have to worry about defending yourself. It's my job to protect you."

Her cheeks burned with shyness and at the unrestrained affection between them. Cloud saw her color and his smile widened. The proximity of their bodies and the earnestness of his words made her heart flutter in her chest. Tifa was never much of a lover of fairy tales. As a child, she'd preferred when her mother sang or played the piano until she fell asleep. She had never much cared for such lofty stories of the good always triumphing over the bad, of magic and bravery, of happily ever afters. But her prince was right in front of her, kissing her hand, her face, her lips. As much as Tifa hated it, she had been a damsel in distress, waiting day after day for her knight to come save her from loneliness and despair. And he had come. They were about to live their 'happily ever after' together, forever. He breathed sweet sincerities into the air.

"I always want to protect you. I love you, Tifa."

Gently, he rolled her onto her back, placing tentative kisses down her neck. She responded with a tiny, irrepressible moan. Her eyelashes closed as her body relaxed in response, encouraging him by kneading her fingers through blonde spikes.

"I love you too, Cloud."

It all happened so fast. Tifa knew she was safe, but had been so nervous to be bare before him. Fear kept her eyes closed and breathing unsteady: fear that he wouldn't like what he saw, fear of her inexperience, fear of the unknown. Pleasant tension coiled in her body, making her writhe under his tentative fingers as they moved across her skin in timid exploration. He had stiffened when she sighed his name, apologizing at once with a flushed face for overstepping his boundary. Tifa was almost too shy to ask him to continue. Cloud strained to recall anything from his days in the barracks when he was forced to be exposed to the perverted conversations of his fellow cadets and their sexual escapades. Carefully, he lavished her body with his gentle touch, carefully reading her reactions. He wasn't sure if it was her small noises of approval or the way she eagerly pressed her body into his that made his brain switch off his ability to think. Her quiet moan when he kissed her neck awakened something primal inside him. When she arched underneath him and wrapped one lean leg around his waist, instinct took over.

Tifa remembered how Claudia had told her about all this and how she could've never imagined doing this with a man. But her heart was brimming with love for her husband and her body was acting of its own accord, aching for him so strongly that it allowed her to overcome her trepidations. An unfamiliar, overwhelming feeling ignited in her veins. She'd never forget the pinching and burning sensation when it finally happened. He was slow and gentle, nervousness returning as he heard her stifling a whimper. She kissed him to chase his guilt away, and he only moved when she was ready. Their coupling was short, but left her body sated and heart full.

Cloud wrapped the quilt around them and held her in his arms. Peace and satisfaction washed over him as he pulled her against him. His precious, precious friend—his wife and partner—is this what it felt like to be loved? Is this the acceptance and freedom he had always been searching for? It was as if she was the missing piece to that void inside him, calming the overwhelming need for approval and disarming his fear of rejection. His body felt as relieved as his heart. He needed her in every way. Without her, where would he find the drive to make something of himself in this life? She eased every trouble of his mind and yearning of his body. If she never existed, he would have no purpose.

He kissed her head and she rewarded him with a sleepy smile and a gentle palm on his cheek. He wanted to be able to lead her through life with strong hands and an unwavering step. Could he be the dependable, confident husband she deserved? He wanted to be strong enough to stand up when she couldn't, to make her feel safe and secure. But Cloud was still learning what it was to be strong. How had his father felt when he had taken his mother away from her home? The good intentions were there, but what if something happened and he couldn't protect her?

Dad had tried to lead Mom to a better life and died protect her. Now, Mom was still alive but not truly living, wasting her days in a village that would never return all the love she had given. As they drifted off to the lullaby of passing automobiles and the constant hum of electric cables, Cloud promised himself that he'd never let that happen to Tifa.

... ... ...

A/N: Hey all! Sorry in the delay in updating! I feel like as we move into the holiday season, it'll get harder to continue to post once a week, but I'll do my best!

These kids are going through alot of changes! Our babies are growing up. :) It's stranger to go back and read chapter 1 and see how far they've come.

Writing an awkward sex scene was much more difficult for me than I thought it would be, even though it was only a few paragraphs long. _ A while ago, a guest asked if I'd be making this more mature. As for sexual content, this is as graphic as it gets with a 'T' rating, and it was never my intention to make this story a particularly naughty one. :P

Please be kind and R&R! As always, thank you for reading!