Ninety Two
Chocolate Chip Kitty
It was a typical day on the narrating platform when all of a sudden, an ENORMOUS bowling ball came crashing through the ceiling, through the platform, into the PC, onto Quilava, through the floor, and into Nowhere, with Quilava still stuck underneath it, screaming his head off while everyone gaped at the several holes left bh the ball.
This all happened within the course of abooooouuuuuuttt two seconds.
"WHOA. Speed-chapter," Serperior noted.
"QUILAVAAAAAAAA!" Frogadier sobbed, slidding across the PC on his knees (earning a MAJOR rugburn) towards Nowhere. "YOU WERE SO YOUNGGGG!"
"Actually, he was about 18 in Pokemon years - "
Nobody cares, Lucario.
A small, lithe silver cat with several dark flecks leaped into the PC from out of a pile of fourth wall shards, carrying a half-squished Quilava. "I agree - no one cares," the cat spoke, before glancing around. "Oh, jeez, this is WGDitPC, isn't it? I guess you don't know what silver spotted tabby cats are. Sorry 'bout that."
She flashed gold, then changed into a slightly dusty girl with short, curly brown hair and freckles. The girl sneezed.
"AWWWWWWWWW~!" Serperior cooed.
Zoroark shoved her away without a second thought. SO HARDCORE. "Sorry. She has a thing with sneezing."
"Zoroark, have you ever actually WATCHED someone sneeze? It's so cuuuute!" Serperior squealed. "With a wittle clouwd of duwst and evewything!"
"...ew..." Zoroark shivered.
"HIIIII!" Rotom greeted, slamming right into the girl and hugging her head. ("We need to get him on a leash," Charizard grumbled.)
"Uh - huh? Rotom? WWAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHHH!"
That last bit was the result of an electric shock on Rotom's part. "O-ow..." the girl mumbled dazedly, falling over. She picked herself back up a moment later, sneezed again, and grinned at everyone. "Um, hi guys... the name's Kit. I mean, you could call me Choco or Chippy I guess, or Kitty, but I tend to go by Kit. Hey, where's Reevs? I NEED A HUG!"
Kit looked around quickly, not seeing the author. She did see the holes in the floor, narrating platform, and ceiling, though. "...where did those come from?"
"Oh, also, here." She nudged Quilava over to them with her foot. "He's a little bit squished. Don't ask me why, I was just sitting in Nowhere minding my own business and then BOOM, this Pokemon comes barreling towards me, knocks me into this fic..."
"Quilava, apologize to the girl you barreled over," Charizard commanded.
"*Weak Quilava noise.* I can't feel my legs..."
"THERE WAS A BALL!" Swellow barked. "This huge bowling ball just fell straight from the sky, crashed through the Narration Platform, probably killed Agumon, rolled through the PC, probably killed Quilava, and broke through the wall! True story."
"I caun confrm it," Buizel added.
"...does having an accent make you loose syllables in your words?"
"'parrantly."
Kit watched the exchange with wide eyes. "A... a BOWLING BALL?!" she whispered in horror. "Not a bowling ball! Please tell me it wasn't a bowling ball!" She paused for a moment, thinking. "Also, Swellows don't bark."
Aug 31"We don't?" Swellow blinked.
Flashback
"SWELLOW FAMILY REUNION TIME!" a large flock of Swellow and Tailow simultaneously barked.
Flashback inside of a flashback
"DAAAD, JESSICA'S DRINKING FROM THE TOILET AGAIN!" Sister Tailow barked.
"NO I'M NOT!" Jessica the Tailow barked.
Flashback inside of a flashback inside of a flashback
"SWELLOW THE FIFTEENTH! CLEAN YOUR ROOM!" Momma Swellow barked at Swellow the Fifteenth, also known as the current Swellow inside of the PC.
"I DON'T WANNA!" Swellow the Fifteenth - or the Swellow inside the PC - barked.
End of flashback, end of flashback inside of a flashback, and end of flashback inside of a flashback inside of a flashback.
"Flashback-ception," Serperior blinked.
"SWELLOW-ception," Zoroark blinked.
"You guys can talk by blinking?" Fennekin grumbled.
"...yea."
"YES! Huge bowling ball. Quite terrifying, actually," Flygon confirmed. "I think it mentally scarred Shaymin."
"Bowling balls...bowling balls...!" Shaymin whimpered, rocking back and forth while cuddling the Gracidea Flower.
Kit gently picked up Shaymin and cradled her. "O-oh..." The brunette looked a little pale. "I-I may or m-may not have a really weird phobia of the b-bowling ball monster under the b-bed..."
Flashback
"MOMMYYYYYYYYYY, THERE'S AN EVIL MONSTER HURLING GIANT HEAVY BALLS AT ME!" a four-year-old girl shrieked, charging into her parents' bedroom in the middle of the night.
End flashback
"What, only one flashback?" Swellow said, offended.
Kit shrugged. "Eh, multiple flashbacks are too complicated." Suddenly another bowling ball fell dangerously near Kit's head and through the floor, ruffling her hair, and she shrieked and darted behing Serperior. "Save meeeeee," she sobbed. "It's raining bowling balls!"
Sep 5Serperior pulled out an umbrella.
"Wait! Don't the guys up there in the Narration Platform have control over what falls down here?!" Zoroark gasped. "SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG!"
"Never fear, sister," Lucario stated, patting Zoroark's shoulder comfortingly (and making a series of "fwuff fwuff fwuff" noises because, you know, Zoroark shoulder fur. THE ONLY THING THAT CAN BEAT EEVEE COLLAR FUR IN A FLUFF MATCH - ). "We shall contact the Ceiling Cat."
"We don't have a ceiling cat," Swellow deadpanned.
"But you have a CEILING EEVEE!"
Everyone turned upwards slooowly and dramaaaticaaallyyy. Somewhat like that one moment in Jurassic World when all the dinosaurs are flying towards the park. ...just sayin', they could be looking at something DEADLY and KILLER up there!
"Hi, Reev," Zoroark waved without a care about the past paragraph.
Reevee21 made a happy, derpy face, sticking her head out through a random flap in the platform like the almighty Ceiling Cat.
"Oh, yeah, very deadly and killer," Kit said with a sarcastically serious voice. "So what's going on with the bowling b-AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!"
With an almighty scream, the brunette dove out of the way of another ball. She then began to yell furiously.
"REEVEE, IF YOU DO NOT FIX THE BOWLING BALL PROBLEM, I WILL USE MY HUG ATTACK, WHICH IS FAR MORE DEADLY THAN IT SOUNDS, BUT JUST AS FUN!"
The Pokémon all inched away at the sight of the steam pouring out of her ears, making her look like a furious, brown-haired locomotive train.
Okay, no, she didn't really look like a train, but you get the idea.
"I CAN'T, KIT, I CAAAAN'T!" Reevee21 wailed dramatically. "...wait, I think I can."
"THEN DO IT!" several Pokemon barked.
Reevee21's head ducked back into the Narration Platform, a hand shot out and closed the flap, and a loud series of banging noises commenced. "Dadumdadada, dadumdadadee, dadumdadumda DUN DUN, DA DAA DUN DUN, DUU DUU DUN DUN, DA DAA DUN DUN, DA DAA - NANANAAAA, NANANAAA, NANANAAA, NA NA!"
"People have the weirdest work songs," Fennekin muttered, shaking her head slowly before she herself resumed her own 'I am working and humming at the same time' song: The HamsterDance song. "Deedadeedadeedadodo, dee, da deedado - "
"O-KAY!" Reev's face stuck back out of the narration platform. "I FIXED THE THING!"
"Yaaaaaaay!" the Pokemon cheered with various levels of excitement - ranging from dry, dry sarcasm to wet, wet joy.
"There's just ooooone little problem," Reevee21 admitted nervously, smiling nervously, in a nervous tone.
"Oh Arceus," Charizard face-clawed.
"Look out, everyone, it's the bad news train!" Swellow warned, fluttering upwards. "TOOT TOOT!"
"So basically, I had either the option to make the bowling balls fall randomly or for them to all collect together..."
"TOOT TOOOOOT!"
"...sssoooo all of them are going to fall, all at once, as one big sheet of bowling balls or something like that."
"TOOOT TOOOOOOOOOO - wait, are you saying that a huge bowling ball sheet made of huge bowling balls is going to fall, all at the same time?" Swellow questioned.
"Yerp."
"When?"
"About five minutes."
"...TOOOOOOOOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! BAD NEWS TRAIIIN!"
"NOOOOO!" Kit shrieked, diving into a large puddle of Nowhere substance. Moments later she reappeared, looking dazed, and the puddle vanished with a POP.
"Owwwww..." Kit mumbled, dazed. "I think Nowhere is off-limits. Err... how exactly are we supposed to not be completely and utterly crushed by these bowling balls?"
"You mean how are we supposed to make it out alive?" Fennekin replied.
"No, no, of course not. We'll all survive, obviously, even if we do get squished. I'm just wondering how we're not gonna get squished," Kit corrected.
Everyone paused to imagine living as a squished pancakey sort of thing. Nobody liked the idea.
"WAIT! I'VE GOT IT!" somebody shrieked from the closet - wait wait wait, who is in the closet and why are they shouting and DO THEY HAVE A MAGIC SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM?!
"I DON'T KNOOOOOWWW!" Zoroark answered to the written question, slowly collapsing into a heap. Kind of like a slow-motion picture of what'll happen to you people when the bowling balls hit -
"Shut up, Reev."
Okaaaaaay...WAIT how did you know it was me?! There ARE two people working on this thing!
"1, you just confirmed it was you," Lucario stated. "2...you have a very distinct voice."
...*muttering* do I sound high pitched...?
Nope! MY voice is higher pitched! I think. Maybe. IS MY VOICE HIGH PITCHED?! Oooh, narrating is fun... this is Kit, by the way... ooooh, everyone can HEAR me... what if I shout? Then will everyone's eardrums bust?
Everyone turned a little pale. "Nononono don't shout that is a TERRIBLE idea - " Swellow began, buuuuuuuut too late.
YO! EVERYBODY! THIS IS CHOCOCHIPKITTY IN DA HOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUSE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVE NARRATING! I SHOULD SING! SHOULD I SING?! A-hemmmm...
LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LET GOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOO
CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYM-
WAUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ATTACK OF THE BOWLING BALLS!
There was a series of bangs, crashes, and moans as more bowling balls fell onto the narrating platform, further crushing all the narrators, which now included Kit - wait - why is Kit on the narrating platform? When did she get there?! IT'S A MYSTERY-owwww!"
The voice in the closet, meanwhile, had struck up a tune on a ukelele to pass the time. Oh. That word is fun. Ukelelelelelelelele-
ANYWAYS~! Ten minutes later...
And that was how everyone in the PC box died.
...I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING! Those were MAAAGIC bowling balls; everyone's in 2D, instead!
"Wait, we're WHAT!?" A lying-on-the-floor Swellow (battle-sprite styleee!) asked. "...OH MY ARCEUS! GUYS! WE ARE MR. GAME AND WATCH! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
"I DUN WANNA BE 2D!" Kit sobbed. "Poor Mr. Game and Watch. I now know how hard it is to live as a pancake." She tried to kick the floor angrily, but considering she was now on the floor and might well have been part of it, she kicked herself. "OWWWWWWWW-"
A Chikorita suddenly bounded into the room, hopping up and down excitedly. "Oooh, it's Mr. Pokemon and Watch!" she cried excitedly, using her leaf to prod a certain part-Eevee author. "Oh, wait, I mean Miss Pokemon and Watch." She looked around. "You know, this place is weird. HEY! IS THIS PC BOX 15?!"
"Yes," Kit sighed from upon the floor, and the other Pokemon sighed with her. "Go back to your fic, Chikorita."
"But you discontinued it!" Chikorita argued. Which is unfortunately true. The fic that has Chikorita in it was discontinued by ChocoChipKitty aka me...
"Yeah, well, whatever," Kit mumbled. "We have our own problems, we're 2D."
Lucario nodded solemnly. "Indeed, it would seem so."
To which Zoroark scoffed, "you know your formal language isn't really NECESSARY, right? Especially in a case like this, I have a few choice words of my own - "
Everyone now pounced on Zoroark to make her shut up.
Reevee21 blinked a few times. "Well...that happened. HEEEEY, I wonder if the other narrators made it out!"
"Nope," a Pit sprite answered from her right.
"Nada," a Zelda sprite answered from her left.
"This sucks," an Agumon sprite sighed.
"I hate being flat," Dark Pit agreed. ...yyyeaaa, I had to start calling him Dark Pit again. IN MY DEFENSE, he did put me in a double-layered body cast all week.
"Well, we can't do What Goes Down in the PC if we're FLAT, can't we?!" Swellow, ignoring the boundaries of the universe and bird language, barked. "And I HATE BEING SPRITE-ANIMATED!"
"But I LIKE sprite-animation!"
"NOBODY ELSE DOES, REEV!"
"I like sprite animation...!" Rotom giggled, stroking Kit's head. "...your hair smells like shampoooooo..."
"Hmm. Hair? Smell like shampoo? What a shock, my HAIR smells like SHAMPOO... never woulda guessed... ... ...Rotom, you do realize that's creepy?" Kit tried to push the Pokemon off and ended up with an electric shock.
ROTOM used Thunderbolt!
It's super effective!
"Wh-wha!" Kit yelped, her sprite starting to glitch. "H-help m-m-me! I'm g-g-glitching! A-ah!"
Rotom floated away, giggling in a strange, detached sort of way.
"I-I l-like sprite a-animation," Kit said, glitching between every word. "E-except the wh-whole g-g-glitching p-part..."
Chikorita walked over Kit ("OW!") and over several other Pokemon and narrators ("OW!" "HEY!" "WATCH IT!") before reaching the closet.
The ukelele was still playing.
"OH ARCEUS!" Zoroark's sprite hopped animatedly, little pixel clouds of dust being stirred up with her. "IT'S A GHOST UKELELE! IT'S A GHOSTELELE!"
"Calm down. The supreme author of the closet at the moment, ChocoChipKitty, shall soon tell us the ukelele's player," Lucario stated solemly, like this was a totally normal occurrence under prfectly normal circumstances.
"BUT WHAT IF SHE WANTS REEV TO TAKE INITIATION!?" Wow. Zoroark was making a big enough pixel-dust-storm to make Swellow cough. In other words: ZOROARK used SANDSTORM!
"...uh."
"GREAT! I BROKE MY BROTHER! AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
ZOROARK! NONE OF US CAN BREATHE! Stop it! *COUGH* STAUUUUUUUUP EEEEEEEEET!
Chikorita stared at everything.
Then she walked over and opened the door... inside was an air pump playing a ukelele.
Everybody facepalmed, and Chikorita shrugged and poofed back into TRR. Kit had, meanwhile, stopped glitching. She looked around at her sprite-animated-friends, the busted-up PC, the open closet door, and the ukelele-playing air pump. "Guess that wraps that up..." She grinned and poofed away, too, leaving everything in much more of a mess than it was when she first showed up.
Absol, meanwhile, had just returned from Wal-Mart, where he had been getting a new updo. "GUYS!" he panted, his half-finished triple French twist tilting lopsidedly on his head. "I got here as fast as I could! There's gonna be a disaster - " He stared at everything and, after a moment of shock, sighed.
"Darn it. Too late... again."
SOME TIME LATER we ended up back to normal! So that happened.
Dark Pit: I like these random guest authors. When I go on a rampage dor neing dubbed Pittoo, their death shall be quick and painless.
Pit: Whoa! Even the internet's autocorrect calls you Pittoo!
Zelda: ...dude.
Dark Pit: ...and now I know who's going to die first.
Percy: Good for you. Let us know so we can stop you later.
Agumon: *Siiiiiigh* I'll get the duck tape...
SPECIAL THANKS TO KIT (ChocoChipKitty) FOR LENDING HER CRAZINESS TO THE CHAPTER! And thank the rest of you for reading! Please review, follow, and/or favorite on the way out, anything to keep Pittoey tied down!
'ttoo: *Starts growling. Should I run? I should probably run.*
And HUG AN EEVEE! Byeeeeeeeeeee!