***Beach House***
Jennifer and Jonathan ate on the terrace, and then he cleaned everything up.
"Darling, why don't we go away somewhere, like to a spa, or skiing in the mountains? Where ever you want to go, we can go".
She shook her head.
"Are you sure? Might do you good to get away".
"Coming home will be just as hard".
"Sweetheart, you can't live in fear like this. At some point, we have to go back to our lives."
"You say that like it's somewhere I can just get on a plane and fly to, or drive to in a car. Like I have run away from something. Is that really what you think, that I am running away?"
"I didn't say that".
"You didn't have to".
She got up and stormed inside.
Jonathan sighed. He got up and followed her.
She was sitting on the couch, and she was upset.
He went and sat next to her.
"I didn't say you were running away. I said, at some point, we have to go back to doing what we used to do. Me going to the office. You writing articles. Us spending time together when I get home. Us having lunch dates. Us going to dinner parties. Spending time with Max. Freeway being around us. That's normal".
"And you still want to do that with me?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because".
"Jennifer…this happened to you. You didn't do it. He did it, whoever he is, the SOB. It changed you, yes, but not in the way that you are describing".
"How else could it have changed me?"
"It made you stronger. It didn't break you, you got through it and you are still here".
"Did I get through it? I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere".
"You have, though. You are making progress each day. You went back to Willow Pond with me, you even went into the bedroom. Susan said you wouldn't do that the other night".
"Jonathan, things between us won't ever be the same again".
"Says who? Where I'm sitting, nothing has changed. I am still in love with you, same as I've always been. And nothing is going to change that".
"You keep saying that".
"I am trying to get you to believe me".
"And I'm trying to get you to see that things have already changed".
"How? How have they changed? I promise you, I am still just as crazy in love with you as I've always been. And you ran to me when I got here, you still love me too, right? Up until now, that's all we've ever needed, you and me."
"Jonathan, you deserve a wife who wants to be with you, intimately. I just can't. And it's not you, it's everyone. I can't allow anyone to ever touch me like that again. I just can't". She was crying hard now.
"That's the furthest thing from my mind, darling. It's not even on the radar".
"But darling, that was a huge part of our life together."
"Yes, it was. And if that's all we lose, then so be it. I would rather lose that than lose you".
He wrapped his arms around her.
She fell asleep and he gently laid her down and covered her up with a blanket.
He got out his computer, and looked some stuff up.
He got an idea.
He made a few phone calls, and ended up making an appointment for 4 p.m.
Jennifer slept till 2.
"Darling, we are going to somewhere in a little bit, so I am going to take a shower and get dressed."
"Ok, I will follow you".
She went upstairs to the third floor with him, and laid down on the bed while he took a shower.
After they were both showered and dressed, they headed out.
They drove a little ways and stopped at a building. It was a nice building, not too rundown, or overly pristine.
He opened the car door for her, and they walked into the building.
He stopped her before a door.
"Trust me?"
She nodded.
They opened the door.
It was a support group for rape survivors.
"I am going to sit right here, in the back of the room. If you need me, I will be right here".
She nodded.
The meeting was starting in 10 minutes.
She got a cup of tea, and sat down in the circle. Jonathan sat over in the corner.
The meeting started, and everyone introduced themselves. Some people talked about their experience, and some didn't. Jennifer chose to not.
During the second half of the meeting, the facilitator asked them questions, and they raised their hands if they felt the same way. Jennifer raised her hand for almost every question.
They gave her a packet full of resources for people who were raped, and she gladly took it.
The ladies tried to impress upon her that it wasn't her fault, whatever she feels is normal, and not to let it affect her relationships with her family.
"They didn't do this to you, but they are suffering from it alongside you".
She nodded.
After the meeting was over, the facilitator asked to meet with Jonathan alone, and some of the ladies sat with Jennifer.
"How are you feeling?"
"Numb. Angry. Responsible for the damages".
"What damages?"
"Well, we have an electric gate and intercom system. The wires to the gate were cut. It won't open. And the windows in my car were broken out. We think he came through the doggy door, but we aren't sure because I didn't know he was there till he was in my room. My husband is buying me a new bed, sheets, comforter, pillows. And he's having an alarm system installed in my car. And all of that costs money, that we wouldn't be spending if this hadn't happened to me".
"The common denominator here is the rapist. If he hadn't been trying to get on your property, the wires wouldn't be cut. If he hadn't gotten on to your property, the windows in your car wouldn't be busted out. If he hadn't come through the doggy door, then he wouldn't have been in your house. And if he hadn't come in your room, you wouldn't have been raped. He is the common denominator, not you".
"Where was your husband?"
"Out of town".
"Are you blaming him for this?"
"No, he had no way of knowing this would happen".
"Exactly. And neither did you".
She nodded.
Meanwhile, in the hallway, the facilitator was talking to Jonathan.
"She keeps thinking that our marriage is over because of this."
"What are you saying to her when she says that?"
"I keep telling her that nothing, including this, would ever change the way I feel about her or look at her."
"Very good. What other preparations have you made?"
"Well, we have a beach house, so we have been staying there, since she was more comfortable there. Tomorrow, there will be a new bed delivered at home, plus sheets, comforter and pillows. I am getting the gate repaired and the windows in her car replaced, and I am upgrading the security system to the house. I am seriously considering getting rid of the doggy door, because that's how I think he came in".
"Mr. Hart, you are doing everything right. You are the best support she can have right now, so just be patient. Keep reminding her that you are there and always will be, and that you love her. It may not seem like it, but it's helping".
"Thank you very much".
He went back in the room. Jennifer was talking with the ladies. He decided to wait for her in the hallway.
Jennifer was really opening up to them.
"How did you handle intimacy with your husband, after your experience?"
"Well, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was raped. I had to say the words, and let myself deal with that. Afterwards, it was easy, because once I said it, I was able to separate from it. And I knew then, as I know now, that my husband would have never done that to me. So, being intimate with him wouldn't be like the rape, because they are totally different".
"Same for me. My husband was so gentle and loving and patient, and that really helped. Not only did I feel like we were getting back to normal, but it also helped me forget about what had happened and stop the flashbacks".
"Yes, flashbacks. I keep having those".
"They will go away in time".
"I sure hope so."
"Are you sleeping at night?"
She nodded. "My friend gave me a prescription for sleeping pills. They have really helped".
"How long ago was your rape?"
"2 days ago".
"Wow. You are doing remarkably better 2 days out than I was. I wasn't even able to speak after mine".
"I didn't, until the police came. Took me a few hours".
"The most important thing to remember is that you aren't alone. This happened to you, but it isn't you. And it's ok that you didn't fight back, because not fighting back saved your life. Your husband could have gotten a phone call that you died, instead of that you were attacked".
"I feel like in a way, I did die".
"Just a small part. Not all of you. It will come back, believe me".
She exchanged phone numbers with the ladies who had talked to her. Amanda was her age, and lived about 10 minutes from her. Alicia lived in downtown Los Angeles, and Sloane lived about 20 miles away from Willow Pond.
"Thank you ladies, so much. You have been a tremendous help".
"We are here, every Wednesday at 4."
"Thank you".
She got up and went and met Jonathan in the hallway.
As soon as she saw him, she flew into his arms.
He hugged her for a long time, and then she looked up and kissed him.
"Thank You".
He kissed her again, and they headed to the car.
***Beach house***
They ordered a pizza from Guido's, and had it delivered to the beach house.
Jonathan pulled into the garage and parked. They went inside. He made them both a cocktail. Jennifer was out on the terrace when he brought it to her.
"Thank you, darling".
He stood with her while they watched the sunset for a little bit. She leaned back into him.
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"Whatever you want to do, darling".
"I just want to be with you, Jennifer".
She turned and half-smiled at him.
"After all I've put you through the last 24 hours?"
"You didn't put me through anything. We went through something, babe. That's all".
She nodded. She set her drink down on the railing and turned and put her hands on her chest.
"I know I've been difficult and moody and all over the place since you got home. I'm sorry, darling. It was never your fault".
"Jennifer, it wasn't your fault either. And the only thing you have been since I got home is my beautiful wife, who was hurting. That's it".
She kissed him.
"Darling, the new bed is coming tomorrow. So, we can spend one more night here, if you want".
She nodded.
Their pizza came and they curled up on the couch and ate some. She finished her cocktail and snuggled up on Jonathan's chest.
Just as he was about to pick her up and carry her to bed, the phone rang. He eased out from under her, and went to answer the phone.
"Mr. Hart, it's Lt. Grey. We have arrested the man who attacked your wife".