Christian's POV
We have had a blissful week and I am thanking my lucky stars every morning to wake up to Ana in my bed, in my arms and in my heart. The little noises she makes as she's waking and the way she snuggles into me, put a smile on my face and as the week has progressed, her nightmares have abated as have mine, meaning that we are both sleeping better and I am able to enjoy watching her sleep, my need to sleep being less than hers.
The weekend was spent simply sleeping as it seems that neither of us had slept much while we were apart, I was the only foolish one though that didn't take in any fluid but I'm sure Ana has lost weight and it worries me given how slight she was originally. Tracing the lines of her beautiful neck, I can see hollows and they taunt me for my stupidity so I have been sneaking extra little snacks into our day, donuts, nuts, nibbles and snacks, trying to redress one part of the wrong I committed.
On Sunday, I was desperately afraid that I might do something to Ana in my sleep and in jest she said "Perhaps I should tie you to the bed and then you won't be able to touch me," and then she had her arms around me before I had a chance to say anything as she saw something in my face, choking out "It's ok Christian, I'm sorry, I was only joking."
Her concerned expression a balm to the remembered pain of when Elena had tied me and then proceeded to abuse me, my arms pulled Ana in and I held her tight, burying my face in her hair as I waited for that particularly difficult memory to wash away. When she tentatively lifted her face to check how I was doing, I possessed her lips like I was a drowning man and she was a life buoy thrown to me, I clung on, trying to replace memories with those of her sweet lips until she broke away gasping with a questioning gaze.
It was still too raw and I didn't want her to ask so I pulled her back and then slowly and reverently celebrated her, gently biting her lip, then caressing it with my tongue before delving gently in to tangle and dance inside her mouth, absorbing her quiet moans, my hands splayed across her back holding her up and against me as though we were one, if I could absorb her and her goodness I would. I never want to be apart from her, she calms me and soothes me and somehow she loves me, I shook my head in wonder and it broke our contact.
Those eyes were open again and looking into mine, "Huh?"
"Sorry baby, I was just thinking I couldn't believe that you are here, in my arms, how you just know," and I paused trying to decide how I could make her truly understand the depth of my feeling, "I love you with every fibre of my being and I just can't …."
She shook her head slightly and leaned forward to gently blow on my lips, breathing quietly "I believe you," and simply just like that, any doubt that she believed me was blown away and I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face as relief coursed through my body.
"You know, you can't tie me to the bed but I have an idea, why not tie my hands loosely together, basically a tether so that I can't do anything to you and still have more than enough movement? We can try that for a few days and then hopefully, like all the other nightmares, these will stop and I will feel that I am not going to hurt you."
She shook her head again and said nonchalantly, "No need. I trust you." At my incredulous look she shrugged, "Now that you know that I believe you, you can feel safe and know that you have someone standing next to you and there is no enemy within these four walls, honey, trust me, you'll sleep soundly."
She looked at me with those kitten eyes and I'm sure my brain said, "Yes, ok, whatever you say," and my gorgeous girl was right, I don't have those particular nightmares anymore and have woken up all week with her in my arms, safe.
It's Friday today, she's spent the week swimming in the pool or doing her exercises or the best bit of every day has been when she has come into my office and curled up, as much as she can, on a sofa in the corner of my office and just read her book, her presence calming me and energising me in equal parts.
Yesterday I took her into GEH with me and she curled up there, I didn't want to leave her in the apartment as I had decided to surprise her with a shopping trip at lunchtime for her dress for tomorrow's Coping Together ball and she was happy to leave the apartment although it took a bit of convincing that she wouldn't be in the way. I think the rest of the staff loved it because no-one was shouted at while I was there, every time I started raising my voice, I would see a delicately raised eyebrow above the book and I toned it down.
No-one can say I'm not a fast learner because each time I was rewarded with a shy smirk which quickened my heart and made me smile in return until finally, I couldn't restrain myself further and rose from my desk, walked slowly towards the sofa stroking my face thoughtfully and saying, "Miss Steele, do you find something amusing? Mayhaps my hair? Or do I have something on my face?"
"No Sir, you appear well able to eat humble pie, none is on your face and your ability to tone down your voice when it could otherwise thunder and be heard without aid of the electronic device in your hand is outstanding, mayhaps it's the fact that …. That you said "Mayhaps" which century WERE you born in?" she concluded with a giggle, just as I reached her and swept her up into my arms and onto my lips.
She was breathless and a gorgeous shade of pink when she finally pulled away gasping, "Christian, what if someone walked in?"
"Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." I smirked at her, "Now let's go to lunch and get you into a dress for the ball."
I almost didn't hear her whisper to herself and wished I hadn't as it tore at me deep inside, "Like Cinderella." I didn't acknowledge it but I held her for a moment longer trying to transfer my love just that little bit more, so that one day she won't feel like the poor step-sister, she is very much Cinderella, she deserves to shine but without any more heartache.
I held her arm as she reached for her crutches, as much as I'd have liked to carry her, Ana wasn't going to "let me embarrass her" at my work as I'd been roundly told the night before, so I and Taylor just did our shadowing trick so that if she was to slip on the polished marble, we'd be able to catch her and both let out a breath once we were in the elevator and out the door.
Thanks to Taylor's efforts, Ana didn't realise that Neiman Marcus was actually closed to the public for a private viewing as I am sure she would have thrown a tantrum and refused to shop there and we had a fun hour, her lack of farce and beautiful body meant that practically everything that was shown to her was a perfect fit. Unbeknownst to Ana, those dresses that were gorgeous but not picked for the gala were put to the side, to be delivered later, thankfully, the selection process didn't last long because Ana picked a beautiful blue dress that showcased her figure and would also cover her cast and declared it the winner.
While I can't wait to see her in sky high stilettos, Ana found the cutest pair of Snoopy converse and stated with conviction that they were what she was going to wear under the dress, there was a touch of defiance in her voice when she informed me of this fact, no doubt because she thought I'd veto it, and I watched as she straightened her back and set her mouth and I couldn't hold my laughter in, "Baby, I couldn't care less if you were barefoot under the dress but fire up baby, it turns me on," and cue the blush as I opened my arms and pulled her in, whispering in her ear, "But just so you know, and don't tell anyone, I love Charlie Brown comics and Snoopy is my favourite, who is yours?"
I couldn't keep the laughter in when she stated with a grin, "Pigpen, able to raise dust in a rainstorm."
With the outfit decided and Ana tiring, we had a quick lunch and then Taylor dropped me off and brought Ana home to rest, I worry how she is going to cope with a full week of work, starting in just three days but Ana being Ana won't listen to me and says she'll be fine, at least the crutches will be gone and that reminds me that I need to wake her as her appointment is in less than two hours.
"Good morning Gorgeous," I whisper into her ear and then I gently nibble my way down her jaw until she wriggles and starts to wake with an annoyed look on her face, "I know you hate waking up baby, but we need to have breakfast so that you can get rid of this cast and get the walking cast on, no more crutches and being able to bend your leg again," and then she stretches like a cat with a smile unknowingly revealing the twin mounds of her breasts and I growl as I run my stubbly chin down the gap, "Baby, we need to get up, if you do that, we aren't going anywhere," and she giggles, lifting my chin even as I fake resistance and pulls my face back up to hers.
"You tickle," and I could lay there all day listening to her giggle and knowing that she is happy but I lift her up and get us moving for the day.
Now, an hour later at the hospital, I don't know how my mother does it, working with people who are in pain all day, I am almost removed from the room twice as I watch Ana working through the pain of moving her leg that has been immobile for almost a month. She takes a deep breath but when she looks at me with pain etched in her eyes I ask for the physio to stop for a while and he agrees saying he will be back in 15 minutes and as the door closes behind him, the tears are rolling down her cheeks and I wish I could bear her pain for her.
I can't take the pain away and I can't stop them doing what they are doing because she needs to have it done before they can put on the walking cast, all I can do is hold her and whisper encouragement in her ear, pulling her onto my lap where she now sits, folding herself into me, the first time she has properly been able to do so and I look forward to be able to hold her like this more often but without the pain. "You're almost done, baby, you're doing really well," I say stroking her back and holding her close.
"What happens if the pain never goes away? What happens if I can't walk properly?" and she bursts into full blown sobs, burying her face into my chest.
"Baby, look at me," I say and I hold her face in my hands, wiping the tears away with my thumbs, "You are the bravest person I know and you have been through too much but this time I am here beside you and we'll get through this together. I am worried that you are going to a short leg cast too soon, the doctor will bring in the scans now to see how your bones are and they will check again in another couple of weeks, that way they can make sure that you are healing properly."
Finally, she calms and then pouts, "I have to be on the crutches for another few weeks at least, I thought I wouldn't have to have them anymore, how am I going to work?" and I nearly suggest that she doesn't go but I resolved to support her and she will be devastated if she can't go and is "made to stay" in the apartment.
As we are talking the doctor comes in and explains the scans and how pleased he is that the breaks seem to be healing and that he has full confidence that the while the short leg cast will need to be on for quite a while, all the bones have set properly and even the tibia which was so badly broken seems to have set well.
"Baby, we'll work it out. It is more important that you don't put too much pressure on your leg as this top part is no longer supported at all, thankfully the femur now has the metal rod inside it stabilising it and it looks like everything is ok. I am sure SIP can find you things to do that don't entail scooting around the office." As she smiles I realise what I just said, and say with a laugh, "No, I am not letting you have a scooter to run around on," glad to see even a small smile back on her face.
I watch in awe as Ana straightens her back and nods to the physio who keeps torturing her until it is time to place the new cast on and looks at me with an eye roll when I take out my phone and note down the things she is not allowed to do. She outright laughs at me when I clarify that she is NEVER to do ANYTHING without the accompanying cast shoe-even just hobbling to the bathroom in the middle of the night because it is extremely dangerous, as the fiberglass bottom is very slick.
The technician then proceeds to fill us in with every scenario that could be a danger to Ana and the issues that may arise, the pains from the fact that her knee has been immobilised for so long, the pains at the fracture points and she has three fracture points and that any sharp pain is an indication that she is doing too much and I wonder at my earlier determination to support her in going to work because I don't trust her to tell me when she is in pain. I have to find a way to monitor her and I have Barney working on a plan to do just that, if anyone can work that out, he will and then at least I can keep Ana safe, from herself.
When the doctor returns with pain medication and it looks like Ana is going to baulk at taking them again, he explains, "You have to understand that you didn't just injure the bones in the accident, the soft tissue sheath that covers the bone and carries the blood vessels and nerves to the bone was torn apart at the fracture sites. Not only that but any muscles that attached to the bones there were ripped off, the fascia, tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, nerves, everything, they were all stretched and twisted so there was actually quite a bit of tissue damage and that is what is painful. There will also be some movement in the bone still until it is completely connected again and that just helps build the bone calluses and the joins but that will hurt as well. You need to take the pain killers."
At that point he stops and makes sure that Ana is agreeing, "I will issue them to Christian and he will control them, you won't become addicted but I commend you on being aware of the potential and being wary of it. You are an amazing girl and I hope to not see you until that cast comes off," with that and a pat on her arm, he is gone and Ana looks at me with a look of almost defeat.
"Baby, you know I won't let anything happen to you," as I say that I flash back to last week.
As quick as a flash, "Christian, stop it!" is issued in a terse but concerned tone. "Don't go there. I know you won't let anything happen to me, it just scares me and for some stupid reason I thought this bit was going to be easy, instead I am going to be trussed up like a turkey for goodness knows how much longer, I'm still going to be in pain and I still can't move." And the bottom lip juts out in the cutest angry pout as she dashes her hand across her eyes.
"Maybe if I bite that lip, it will make everything else seem better," I say suggestively as I shuffle her to stand between my legs but this makes her shake her head and look down.
"Maybe it's better that I don't go to the gala tomorrow. I will look silly with the crutches and I'll just be holding you back."
"Nuh uh, Baby, you are coming, there's no way that I am going without you, while I can still have you to myself, I am stuck like glue and you will have a ball and you will look magnificent and if you make a fuss, I will carry you in and you won't be able to do anything about it, ok?" I say barely drawing breath and then I lower my voice, "Now let's go, I have something I need to do to you," and her eyes open wide and then narrow into suspicious slits as she clocks the smirk on my face.