CHAPTER 41: THE THIRD WISH
"Cloud!"
Tifa jumped into his arms with an excited squeak, spatula still in hand. He embraced her tightly, enjoying the feel of her hair brushing over the back of his arms and the smell of a home cooked meal waiting in the kitchen. Blonde hair falling forward, he buried his face into the crook of her neck to breathe in her comforting scent. She kissed the side of his head over and over again. It was so nice to be home.
After a few long moments, he pulled back to look her in the eye. His wide grin was infectious. "Tifa, I'm a hero!"
Her crimson eyes were bright with joy. "What happened? Did you get promoted to SOLDIER?"
"No, I caught some fugitives trying to sneak into the military base. They were the ones who blew up part of the port the week before!"
"Oh, Cloud! You're amazing!" She squeezed tighter. "Your dream came true!"
Inspired by a moment of childish giddiness, Cloud lifted her off the ground and spun her around with an uncharacteristic chuckle. He had experienced a tiny taste of his goal and it was intoxicating. Tifa laughed as her long hair spun around them before they crashed onto the couch. It was just as intoxicating to his wife to see the brightness and hope in her husband's eyes. She cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, grinning as a blush crept across his cheerful features.
They sat side by side as they ate the large 'welcome home' dinner that Tifa had prepared, savoring the feel of each other's presence after being apart for almost a week. Cloud told her all about the helicopter ride and how all he could do was stare out the window at the miles and miles of coastline south of Junon. He promised he'd apply for a transfer to Junon HQ when he went back to work the next day. The harbor city was much nicer than Midgar, and they could probably get a much nicer apartment for the two thousand gil they paid to rent their slum shoebox each month. The cheaper cost of living outside of Midgar would help them save for a down payment on a house. Once they'd saved enough, they could move out of Junon completely and find a small coastal town to the south where they could live their quiet life by the sea. He'd worry about figuring out his daily commute to work later.
Tifa washed the dinner dishes while entertaining daydreams of white sand and blue skies.
Hand in hand, they walked out into the cooling evening air. Cloud had received a monetary bonus for aiding in the capture of two members of AVALANCHE, and he thought it would be best to put that money into their savings account right away. He handed the receipt to Tifa after submitting the check.
"C-Cloud, this is…" She blinked at the little piece of paper and swallowed. She turned her head up to whisper in his ear. "It says our current balance is over eighteen thousand gil! Is that right?"
He grinned.
"Your bonus was ten thousand gil?" She gaped quietly. "My hero is amazing! All of your hard work is finally paying off."
She put the slip into her pocket and pecked him on the lips. He gave her hand a little squeeze and led her back out onto the street. It was starting to become real! Their goal didn't feel so much like a far off dream anymore. If she could get a job somehow and help him beef up their savings account, they could get out of here much sooner than she thought! They stopped to buy a bottle of sparkling cider on the way home, popping the cork to celebrate Cloud's success. They spent the evening talking and sipping their drinks while music played on their little radio. Tifa couldn't stop fantasizing about the future. She could just feel the grass underneath her bare feet! They could have a garden with fresh vegetables. They could spend their days playing in the waves and spend their nights talking side by side in the sand instead of on the hardwood floor of their stuffy apartment.
When her eyes grew heavy with sleep, Cloud escorted her to bed. She pouted with disappointment when he didn't lie next to her.
"Aren't you coming to bed?"
He gently shook his head. "Not yet. I need to write up a report of the incident to submit to my commanding officer. If I don't get it in by tomorrow, I'll be in trouble."
"Thank you for celebrating with me. You're the hardest worker I know and I'm so proud of you."
Cloud's ears started to turn pink from the praise and he leaned down to kiss her and tell her he loved her. Tifa watched as he shut off the light and turned to leave. "Cloud?"
His silhouette froze in the doorway and he turned his head to face her.
"Before you go to sleep tonight, I just need you to know that you've always deserved praise. I'm sorry that the world took so long to realize that."
… … …
Before she opened her eyes, Tifa knew she had slept much later than she should have. She didn't remember Cloud performing his ritual of kissing her forehead and whispering his goodbye before he left for work that morning. An overwhelming feeling of dizziness and nausea enhanced her confusion as she slowly sat up. The apartment was quiet aside from the busy noises from the street below. A lonely feeling enveloped her when she realized she hadn't bid Cloud farewell. As soon as her bare feet hit the cold floor, she started to tremble as her face paled. Her shaky legs barely made it across the hall before she vomited into the sink, a cold sweat forming on her brow. Tifa was afraid to leave the bathroom until she was sure she wouldn't be sick again, taking deep breaths to calm her body.
Shaken, she brushed her teeth and dressed herself, feeling much better now that her stomach was empty. What was wrong with her? Was it a flu? Tifa hoped that she hadn't infected Cloud. She ran a comb through thick ebony locks as she walked into the kitchen to look for some crackers to nibble on. A stack of white papers caught her attention as she walked by. Cloud's report was on the coffee table, the pages neatly stapled together. Tifa glanced to the hall next to the front door: his boots were gone. Cloud couldn't have possibly meant to leave it, could he have? He was probably so tired from writing it so late last night that he forgot it. She couldn't let Cloud get in trouble! Her boots were laced and she was out the door in minutes.
The muggy air of late August combined with the thickness of the rush hour exhaust made it hard to breathe. She rushed through the streets, only slowing her pace when her ankle protested. Since that incident in the train station, Tifa had done her best to summon bravery in the face of the danger the slums presented. She had gone out into the city without Cloud many times since, and she hadn't had any further problems. At first, she was afraid that she'd run in to the man who had harassed her on the train, but quickly realized that it was unlikely. Nowadays, she kept her back pressed to the wall if she couldn't find a seat on the train. The air above the plate was significantly less humid, and Tifa breathed a sigh of relief as she exited the train station. There were signs everywhere directing commuters to ShinRA HQ, but the giant, looming building a few blocks away made it easy enough to find her way.
She'd never been to Cloud's workplace alone before. Tifa hesitated before going through the revolving glass door, taking a deep breath. Somewhere in this very building were the people responsible for Wutai's demise. This place was responsible for the housing and training of the military that killed her grandparents and thousands of Wutaian citizens. There was evil here that had caused the tremendous sorrow that plagued her mother's heart before she died. She didn't want to go in. Each step forward felt like a tiny betrayal to Mama, and she stopped in the grand entryway. Moments later, when the plaza clock chimed to signal the beginning of the nine o'clock hour, she pulled herself forward again. Cloud needed her. This was no time to let her ghosts anchor her in place.
The sharp blast of cold air hit her like an icy wall. The receptionist at the front desk had thick glasses and an unfriendly face that made Tifa nervous to approach her.
"E-excuse me, ma'am." The girl whispered, nervously pressing Cloud's report to her chest. "My name is—"
"Identification card, please."
"Oh, right." Tifa fished the plastic card out of her pocket and placed it on the counter. "My husband left his report at home and needed to hand it in today. If he's in the building, would you be able to call him to meet me? His name is Cloud Strife."
"Sure. I'll look him up and page him."
Thank goodness. Tifa breathed a sigh of relief as she waited, but stiffened when she felt her light headedness return. Had she pushed herself too much? Maybe she was still a little queasy and weak from getting sick earlier this morning. Her fingers gripped the marble countertop of the desk and she closed her eyes as the room began to spin. Maybe she finally had to admit to herself that she was sick and let Cloud know, in case he started feeling ill himself. After feeling off for the past week or so, Tifa had hoped that with some rest, she'd feel better. Despite Cloud's bonus, they were still pressed for money and she hated the thought of making him worry about her. But after this, maybe it was time to pay to see a doctor. She wasn't sure how much time passed before the sound of her name hit her ears.
"Tifa?"
Weary eyes opened to see a trooper jogging up to her. Cloud removed his helmet, revealing his wild hair. "Tifa! Thank you so much for bringing this, I—hey, are you alright?"
Her face was pale as a sheet. He stepped closer to her, putting a gentle hand on her bicep. Tifa blinked a few times. What was I doing? Oh, right, the report. With trembling hands, she held the stack of papers out to him. Cloud took the report and laid it on the countertop before trying to look in his wife's eyes. She couldn't see the concern on his features as she stared at the polished grey tiles.
"Hey…what's wrong?"
Why did he sound so far away? As soon as Tifa opened her mouth to reply, she felt her knees go weak. She wasn't aware she was falling until she felt Cloud's arms around her. Her vision clouded before the world went black.
Floating, floating. She had felt this way before. Suspended in an endless void...
The bright lights of the infirmary were blinding when Tifa blinked awake. She groggily looked around the room.
"Tifa?"
She turned her head toward the voice. Cloud's big blue eyes were heavy with fear and he immediately grasped her hand. His blonde locks were extra messy and she immediately knew it was from his nervous habit of running his hands through his hair. The sight of his military uniform made her remember where she was.
"What happened?" she croaked before clearing her throat. Cloud's shoulders visibly slumped with relief as he let out a breath he'd been holding for the past few hours.
"You brought me my report and you fainted in the lobby." He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "You've been out for a few hours. The doctors took a blood sample to run some tests; the results should be back soon."
His eyes met hers and he gave her a shaky smile. "You scared me to death."
"I'm so sorry." Tifa sat up as guilt pooled in her belly. "That's the last thing I want to do. You're the one working so hard lately and I'm the one who fainted."
"You shouldn't apologize for fainting, Tifa! It wasn't your fault."
A few moments of silence stretched between them before Tifa spoke again. Knotting her hair between her fingers, she peeked at him from underneath her bangs. "Isn't a blood test expensive?"
"No, the company covers the cost. It's part of the benefit package for employees and their families."
"Oh. That's good. Because…" she swallowed and studied the floral pattern of her hospital gown. "I think I'm sick."
"You look so pale and you haven't been very hungry, either. They said you don't have a temperature, though." He gently ran his hand down her arm. "What's going on, Tifa?"
"I don't know. I just don't feel like myself." She bowed her head. This whole thing was so embarrassing! "But I'm alright, just a little dizzy lately."
"I'll take you out of here as soon as the doctor says it's alright. You can rest better at home. I'll take care of you, I promise."
Home…with bright blue skies and familiar forest paths. Please, Cloud. Let's go home.
Movement in the doorway caught both of their attention. A nurse approached with a clipboard and a pink stethoscope around her neck. She flicked her wavy brown ponytail over her shoulder as she smiled at Tifa.
"Hey, you're awake!" She engaged the couple in some light chatter as she took her patient's vitals and logged them on Tifa's chart. The nurse sat at the foot of the bed as she flipped through the paperwork on her clipboard.
"Blood pressure is looking good. Temp is fine. Heart rate is normal." She tapped her pen against her knee. "What we should talk about is your blood test."
Tifa gulped. Did they find something really bad?
"According to the bloodwork, you're a little anemic. Also, you're below the normal level for vitamin D, but that's pretty status quo for residents of the slums. If I had to guess, I'm pretty sure your pregnancy is the reason for your affliction."
Tifa wasn't sure she had heard that right until she heard Cloud stuttering his response. "W-wait, say that again?"
Two pairs of wide eyes were on the nurse as she nonchalantly read from the blood analysis aloud. "As of nine thirty this morning, you have a blood HCG level of 1286, indicating that you are approximately six weeks pregnant."
"So, I don't have the flu?"
"She doesn't have a disease?"
The nurse's lips quirked upwards in amusement at the childlike wonder on their young faces. "No. If all goes well, the baby should be born in May."
For a long time after they were left alone in the room, the couple sat in awed silence, hands joined atop Tifa's abdomen.
… … …
It had been a long morning and the sun felt good on Cloud's cheeks. Despite a random attack or two from a certain eco-terrorist group, it was still peace time and soldiers were hard at work training their bodies and their minds. When Cloud wasn't on patrol, he was enduring harrowing physical training or sitting in on classes to keep his mind sharp. While he enjoyed his classes, combat training really challenged his slight frame. That morning, he had spent hours running, climbing, and conditioning his body at the mercy of his drill instructor. Cloud would've collapsed if it wasn't for the sweet relief of the whistle that signified their dismissal. It didn't help that his mind was anywhere but on his work.
He had escaped the crowded mess hall with a tray of food, preferring to sit alone in the sparse grass outside the cafeteria. Now that September was drawing to a close, the temperature and humidity had dropped significantly and the teen couldn't help but soak up all the light he could. Living in the slums made you appreciate fresh air and the warmth of the sun's rays. Taking a large bite of his sandwich, Cloud shifted to pull a wrinkled paper from his pocket. He glanced around before unfolding the pamphlet he had swiped from the infirmary labelled 'So You're Going to Be a Father'.
It was all Cloud could think about. It seemed as if he had just started to get used to being a husband when he and Tifa learned that they were going to start a family. He was always a man who did well with a well-drawn out plan. He and Tifa had discussed their steps forward in detail: moving to Junon in December, living in the city while they saved money, buying a house in near the coast, then starting their family. Now that things were happening out of order, Cloud's thoughts had been a little disheveled. He had been so worried about how they'd be able to afford a baby and how Tifa would take to travelling and relocating while pregnant that he was missing out on some of the excitement of this life changing news. Cloud wished that he had Tifa's ability to keep his eyes on what was in front of him instead of worrying about the big picture.
Having a baby seemed like an abstract idea until he had heard the heart beat during their first ultrasound appointment. Once the technician pointed it out, he could clearly see the baby's little head and the outline of its body in the blur of grey. Cloud's blue eyes had fixated on the sight of the tiny heart beating inside the chest cavity. This was real. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried. Tifa was absolutely over the moon about being a mother-to-be and the joy on her features made her more beautiful than ever. Energy renewed despite her frequent spells of nausea, she went about her days with newly refreshed vigor. Her husband was proud that he had helped to bring her that joy and that she was just as excited as he was to be expecting their first child. The way her eyes shined with hope and the infectious way her laugh rang through their apartment made his heart soar. She was becoming a little more like his jovial neighbor from early childhood. Was he watching her heal from those terrible years after her mother's death?
To both Cloud and Tifa, the idea of having more than one biological relative was beyond exciting in their lonely lives. They were starting their family, he was set to transfer to Junon in December and their life was about to get off the ground. Things were finally looking up.
Cloud felt more excitement and positivity in his heart than he ever had before, but still there was doubt quietly gnawing away at his heart. He and Tifa had never had the benefit of helping to raise any younger siblings or cousins—would they know how to take care of their own child? He had no idea how to be a father, since his had died when Cloud was too young to remember him as more than a voice and a shadow. Cloud wanted more than anything to be there for the baby and Tifa and give them everything they needed. He'd keep them safe, like his own father did. But unlike Aren, he'd stay alive. His life had been hell without a father and there was no way he'd let his wife and child suffer as he and his mother had.
Tifa tried to bury all of her doubt just as she had tried to bury the sadness of her past. Cloud wasn't sure it would be so easy for him could do the same.
"Hey, Spike!"
Cloud stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and quickly pocketed the pamphlet while hurriedly chewing. Zack was smiling and approaching quickly, but without the usual bounce in his step. A pang of guilt burst in his chest. He hadn't told Zack about his plans for transfer at the end of the year and it pained Cloud so much to hide such news from his best friend. He had been in this situation before, hadn't he? Waiting until the last minute to deliver big news never was a good plan, but every time Cloud wanted to bring it up, Zack would unload one upsetting thing or another about the state of SOLDIER on him and he'd lose his courage.
Cloud swallowed before smiling at his friend. "Zack! How'd you find me here?"
"I know all your hiding spots by now."
Zack groaned as he collapsed onto the grass, back flat against the earth. Cloud watched and let his smile fade. As one of the only remaining first class SOLDIERs, he had been very busy lately—too busy for their weekly dinners at Cloud's apartment and too busy to meet regularly for lunch during the week. Once in a while he'd stop by while on his way to see his girlfriend in Sector Five, but otherwise visits had become few and far between. While still happy and optimistic, he seemed noticeably more pensive and distracted. How could Zack stay so positive after all the chaos of his career? His goal of becoming first class had been met, but by the time he had attained that status, SOLDIER was in shambles. Zack's position had been gained at a great price, but he loyally pressed forward. Cloud wished that he could have the same remarkable spirit as his friend.
How does one look past all the bad things and focus only on what is good? Is that what true strength is all about?
"Where were you? Training?"
"Nah, I had a meeting with Sephiroth."
Cloud's eyes widened. He couldn't imagine ever being important enough to be called into the same room as the man . "What did he want?"
"He was briefing me on our next mission." Mako infused eyes closed as he stretched and sighed. "Apparently, tons of monsters have been spawning near a mako reactor in the mountains out west and the workers have all gone missing."
"When are you leaving?"
"Bright and early tomorrow—headed overseas by helicopter at seven sharp."
Cloud leaned his back against the concrete wall of the cafeteria. "Me too. I've been registering for extra assignments lately, since Tifa and I could really use the gil."
"Wait, what's your mission ID number?"
The blonde pulled out his PHS and scrolled through his digital assignment folder. "Number 452."
Zack sat upright and grinned. "No way! We're together again!"
"Awesome!" Cloud and Zack bumped fists. "I didn't get my briefing yet. Where are we going?"
"Out west," Zack replied. "To Nibelheim."
… … …
"At eleven weeks of g-gest-at-ion, almost all of your baby's organs are functioning. It is about two inches long: the size of a fig." Tifa smiled and smoothed a hand over her flat belly. "Wow, it's so tiny!"
It was almost six in the morning. Tifa was curled in Cloud's lap on their threadbare little couch, his head resting on top of hers. It had taken some courage, but she had confessed to Cloud that she sometimes had trouble with big words after being pulled out of school at such a young age. He had just smiled in that kind way that reminded her of Claudia and suggested that they practice together as much as they could.
"Almost an inch bigger than last week," Cloud mused. "And you're reading so well. I barely need to help you anymore."
She beamed and he encouraged her to keep reading. The coffee table was littered with maternity pamphlets from the infirmary and several pregnancy related library books. Every day, the pair of excited teenagers would look for signs of the growing baby, but Tifa's belly was just as flat as it ever was.
Tifa finished her narration of fetal changes and gently closed the book, laying it on top of the others. "I feel like you just came back from your mission to Junon and now you're heading out again."
"I wish I could take you with me. We could've told our parents that you're expecting together." She stood to collect their breakfast dishes and he followed her to the sink. "My mom will be thrilled, but I'm not so sure about your dad."
"Maybe it'll be the news he needs to start feeling better again." The sound of her voice betrayed her veiled pessimism as she began to work the dish sponge over a plate. "Maybe he's had enough time to calm down and be rational."
"He's had six years to start being rational again, Tifa."
"If not for us, then maybe for the baby." She sighed as she gently set the dish in the rack to dry. Even she didn't believe her own words. "I guess I'm the one being irrational now, aren't I? I mean, he hasn't even answered any of my letters. I haven't even seen the face of our baby yet and I already have no idea how a parent could ever ignore their child."
Cloud wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her away from the sink. She relaxed into the feel of his chest against her shoulder blades, running soapy hands over his forearms. He kissed the side of her head and rested his cheek against hers.
"We may not have any parenting experience, but we know better than to repeat our parents' mistakes."
He felt her cheeks rise as she smiled. "You sound so sure of yourself, Mr. Strife."
It wasn't long before Cloud had gathered up his things and bid Tifa goodbye. He tried to reassure her, but his own doubts swirled in his chest. The mission is only supposed to last for a week. That isn't too long. She'll be okay, right? Can I really leave her all alone in her condition? It was hard to decide between the husbandly need to provide and the fatherly need to watch over his wife and unborn child.
"I am sure of myself."
Tifa saw him off with a smile and reassuring ruffle of his hair. He tried to pull himself from the doorway, but something felt so wrong. Cloud was frozen in place, staring at Tifa with wide blue eyes and uncertainty written all over his features. This is wrong. Something feels terribly, horribly wrong. Tifa could recognize the panic behind his solemn stare. As always, she knew just what to do. Stepping forward, she gently pulled his head down towards her shoulder, cradling blonde spikes in her arms. She cooed gentle encouragements as she stroked his soft hair.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Everything will be alright." She kissed the top of his head before smoothing a palm over his cheek and lifting his chin so he could meet her eyes. "Make sure you bring back one of your mom's apple strudels. I've been craving one like crazy!"
A nervous smile appeared and he nodded.
"When you come home, we'll have a big dinner to celebrate! You'll be back faster than you think."
After several more minutes of coaxing, one long goodbye kiss and a pair of 'I love you's, Cloud managed to pull himself away from his wife. Something inside him screamed to go back as he made his way down the hallway of their apartment building. Doubt pulled at his chest with each boot fall on the staircase. Fear and dread hit him like a bullet, pulsing at the seams of his heart as he boarded the train headed for the upper plate. Something felt very, very wrong. But Cloud couldn't let apprehension get in the way of providing for his family. If there was one thing in this life he was certain of, it was that nothing would stop him from being the best father and husband that he could be.
...
A/N: Wow, you guys are sharp as a whip! I tried to surprise you, but you figured out that a baby Strife was in the works before I had the chance!
It is seriously so difficult for me to pull these two love bugs apart to write the Nibelheim incident, but it must be done. T_T
Thank you for reading! Please R&R. :)