Author's note: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Palmiotti and Conner

"She's just been talking to that plant for an hour," Barry reported as Harleen entered the control room, setting a large shopping bag down on the chair Bruce wasn't occupying as he leaned against the wall talking into his cellphone.

"Well when did you give it to her?" Harley asked.

"When I got here this morning."

"And she's only been talking to it for an hour?" Something resembling concern passed over Harley's face.

"Only?" Barry turned to her so he could fully comprehend his levels of 'wtf', but then Bruce was moving forward and tapping Harley on the shoulder.

"She wants to talk to you."

Harley took the phone without further explanation and stepped out into the hallway.

"Who was that?" Barry asked.

"My wife," was Bruce's answer as he stared at Ivy through the glass.

OK, Barry was expected to deal with Sexy Swamp Thing, he got that. But this? "Wait, what? You're married?"

"No," Batman replied, nonchalantly.

"So what's the deal?" Selina asked without first saying hello. "She ugly now or what?"

Harley sighed. "No, Selina. Her face is unchanged."

"Tits?" Selina prompted.

"Same."

"Ass?"

"Present and accounted for." Harley assured.

"We're excellent friends to her," Selina decided, seemingly convincing herself. "I hope she realizes that."

"Yes, well…you clearly have her best interests in mind." Harley chided.

"I was going to ask if her head was alright next, but don't even try to pretend she wouldn't be worried about the other stuff."

"Fine. But why do you care? I mean…my stake in it is pretty clear, why do you care that she's still hot?"

Selina scoffed on the other end of the line. "Everyone's a little gay for Poison Ivy, Harley. Don't think you've got that cornered just because you're married to her."

"What?"

"She was my desktop background for like two years, dude." Selina was clearly distracted as she put the phone on speaker. "Anyway, when's she coming home?"

"Soon, hopefully." Harley scuffed her Chuck Taylor on the linoleum. "We're working on it."

"The kids there with you?"

"Yeah…figured I'd let them stay til the end of the week if she's not ready, then I'd send them to Barbara's."

"Or how about mine?" Selina suggested.

"You don't like kids," Harley reminded her.

"When have I ever said that? I like your kids just fine. Jo is my goddamn soul sister and Anthony's like my parent."

"I—," Harley sighed. "Fine. Just…I doubt it will be necessary, but thank you for the offer."

"Mwah. Later dayz." And with that (appropriately odd send-off), Selina hung up.

Harley chuckled and shook her head, taking a deep breath before re-entering the room where Bruce and Barry were listening to Ivy hum to her flower as she watered it.

"Alright," Harley handed Bruce his phone. "So I think I'm going no hazmat at the beginning…it was romantic last time, but now I want not wearing it at all to mean that I trust her. She is in charge of the environment, no?"

"Yeah," Barry nodded. "That's on her."

"Perfect," Harley smiled. "So let's cross our fingers she's got her shit under control. Speaking of which…does she have her shit under control?"

"Well she hasn't just randomly screamed yet today," Barry granted. "Before she'd do that in response to what she was hearing in her head…so it seems like she's doing a better job of regulating the auditory information she's receiving."

"Awesome. No screaming is good." Harley took the shopping bags from the chair. "Any other updates?"

"Umm…I gave her a rubik's cube to play with because you told me to keep her busy…and she couldn't figure it out so she smashed it against the wall." Barry reported. "Then Bruce ran a little science trivia contest between us and she called me an idiot after she won and said my doctorate should be rescinded."

"So…normal Pam stuff, then." Harley grinned. "That's fantastic. Good job, team." She gave Barry an enthusiastic high five.

"What's the plan for today?" Bruce asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well it would be pretty sweet if I could get her to reaffirm her commitment to her humanity," Harley confessed. "If we want to keep her on our team we have to remind her why it's worth it, otherwise…what's her incentive?"

Bruce set his mug down with a shrug. "Show us how it's done."

Ivy's fist clenched as soon as she opened the door, but no vine shot out, which Harley took as an example of her improved control.

"Good morning, Dr. Isley," Harleen greeted as she walked towards her. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Pam mumbled, not moving her attention from her flower.

"You know…Miss Martian called me 'Mrs. Isley' the other day," Harley giggled.

"Harleen Isley sounds like hot garbage," Pam told her.

"Accurate." Harley reached down into the shopping bag she was carrying and pulled out the garment on top, tossing it to Pam who finally looked up at her, a questioning look on her face.

"What's this?" She held the dress up in front of her.

"A prom dress," Harley informed. "It's to cry into next time you don't feel pretty. Sort of a time honored tradition."

"Is that what these are for?" The tone Pamela used was almost humorous. "And here I thought they were just something your Mother forced you into so you could be groped by the neighbor boy who was all set to inherit the family business."

"Mmm…" Harley narrowed her eyes. "That was oddly specific…so I'm gonna go ahead and guess that's what happened to you?"

Pam glared down at the fabric in her hands and Harley sat down next to her. "I didn't get asked to prom," Harley admitted. "But…I got asked to dance when I got there."

"I'm sure that story ends wonderfully," Pam assured.

"Uhh…yeah, no. He just thought I'd put out," Harley lamented. "He didn't grope me, though."

"How considerate of him."

"Well…he tried." Harley divulged. "But he was too drunk, so he missed."

"Like I said…" Pam folded the dress back up. "Wonderful. But I thank you for the overpriced tissue."

"You're very welcome," Harley grinned, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.

That made Pam smile, even if she didn't acknowledge it. "I fixed my shirt," was what she said instead.

Harley studied her closer to find Pam had, in fact, slightly changed the way she was wearing her shirt…she'd unrolled the sleeves. Pam giggled when she saw Harley roll her eyes.

"Oh, I see how it is," Harley laughed. "Are you trolling me, Pamela Isley?"

"I assume you don't mean in the context of the mythological creature…"

"No, that's definitely not how I meant it," Harley chuckled, grabbing what was left out of the bag. She placed a folded pair of jeans and yellow cashmere sweater on Pam's lap. "The kids picked this outfit for you. I told them you might need a new wardrobe."

Pam brushed her fingers gently atop the sweater's soft material, employing the same reverence as she would if she were holding one of her flowers. "Why yellow?"

Harley shrugged. "Anthony said yellow for redheads is very in right now."

Pam stopped, staring down at the clothing for a moment as she bit her lip. Suddenly, she brought her gaze to meet Harley's. "You don't think Anthony is gay, do you?"

"I—what?" The blonde laughed. "Because he's interested in fashion?"

"Well—I—just…he seems to be passionate about that…and what with his music…besides, he has yet to express interest in a girl…" Pam was stumbling, which was somehow adorable despite the fact that she now looked like the type of supervillain that horny adolescent nightmares were made of.

"Alright, ya lesbian." Harley crossed her arms. "Time to turn in your stash of baseball caps and flannels."

Pam looked downright offended. "Me? In a baseball cap?"

"Well, yeah!" Harley went right along with her wife's literal interpretation. "How the heck else are ya supposed to keep the sun out of your eyes when you're—I don't know—walking the dogs or…loading your softball equipment into our Subaru."

"We don't—Oh," Pam suddenly looked relieved. "You're—you're chastising me for being stereotypical."

"You got me," Harley smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind Pam's ear. "I see you washed your hair…did that feel good?"

"Yes, I'm not a child." Pam huffed, running a hand through her hair herself now. "Just because I acted that way yesterday doesn't mean-,"

"Wait," Harley's brow was furrowed when she interrupted her. "You think…Babe, being vulnerable doesn't make you childish, it makes you human."

"As if that's so much better," Pam scoffed.

"Do you…" Harley cleared her throat. "Do you still feel human?"

Pam took a beat before answering, and when she did, she kept her eyes downcast. "Would you still love me if I wasn't?"

Twice now, Harleen had been surprised by Pamela's display of vulnerability during this transition. This time, though, she'd asked a yes or no question, and thinking it over, Harley realized it could harm Pam's recovery regardless of the answer she provided. If she were to say no, Pam could grow angry with Harley as she'd been promised unconditional love, but, it could also motivate her to want to hold onto her humanity. The distinction there relied on just how much this physiological change had altered her thought process and how important Harley really was to her. On the other hand, Pam had once told her that Harley was the reason she even wanted to be a human at all…so agreeing to love her even if she were to let go of her humanity could mean condoning Ivy's slip back into singlemindedness—a trait that hadn't exactly done her too many favors over the years as it was mainly a coping mechanism to distract from the various traumas she'd experienced.

Harleen watched Pam for some indication of what she wanted the answer to be…but the redhead just starred at the ground, flexing her bare toes in the dirt Bruce had brought in.

Harley eventually decided that the best course of action was to take herself out of the equation completely. Make this Pam's choice.

"Would you still love me if you weren't?" Harley asked. "Is that an emotion you think you could be capable of without your humanity?"

"Perhaps…" Pam wisted.

"Perhaps not." Harley played the (very biased) devil's advocate before reaching out and taking her wife's hands. "It's important, Pamela, to really know what you want. Now more than ever. To know if you still want me…or still want you, even. If you still want Pamela."

"Lillian Isley," Pam amended, bringing a smile to Harley's face as she corrected her omission. "Doctor."

"Doctor. Yeah, Poison Ivy has a lot of responsibility to shoulder. Your plants need you, absolutely. And I know you can hear. I know they're louder now. But Pamela has some responsibilities too." Harley interlaced their fingers. "Like me…and Anthony…and—,"

"Jo." Pam finished.

"And Jo," Harley nodded. "And I mean, like, I know we're not the entire ecosystem or anything…and I know it'll be even harder than before, but I think if anyone could balance the two, it would be you."

"No, I can do it," Pam said (like it was her idea), suddenly resolute. "I can be both like before—I, don't worry," she removed her hands from Harley's and went to cup her face instead. "I'll be there for you. Always. I—I love you so much."

"I know that," Harley smiled, don't cry, don't cry. You always cry.

"No, I don't think you do," Pam professed, almost like it pained her. "There's only one thing I love more than plants, Harleen."

"Is it Selina?" Harley blurted out, her body just spitting out a joke because she couldn't fully accept Pam's confession. The way all her attention was focused on her. After 23 years of marriage…in a Justice League quarantine room…after an alien substance decided to throw yet another complication at her…Pamela was still the same woman who'd kissed her outside the police station that day, who'd switched sides for her, who'd invited her to move in after she was paralyzed, who tried to give her a romantic proposal (even if she'd ruined it), who'd beamed as she wheeled herself up the aisle, who'd given her their children and stitched up every cut…soothed every bruise…

Pamela—Ivy was human. Absolutely. She always had been, even when she fought it, even when she despised it…

"No, Harley," Pam chuckled. "It's you. It's my family."

Pfft, as if you fucking deserve her, Harley… "Buuut…"

"No buts," Pam looked into her eyes with every ounce of sincerity she possessed. "It's true. I can be both. I just need—I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, I trust you," Harley promised as she surged forward into a kiss, her arms wrapping tightly around Pam's neck.

Barry couldn't even look at her when Harley reentered the control room, her movements a bit timid after remembering these guys had just watched her have a full on make out session with her wife. "So…" he ventured, glancing uncomfortably over at Bruce. "I guess…mission accomplished?"

"I'll say," Harley scoffed.

"Is that just—is that just the way she is?" Barry questioned. "Do you guys just live in the last 10 minutes of a romance movie like 24/7?"

"No…but she's pretty fucking great," Harley acknowledged.

Bruce, who had remained silent up until this point, cleared his throat. "Do you think she's ready to go home?"

"Well I'm definitely ready for her to come home…"

"Tomorrow." Bruce decided. "I'll call Clark in, get him to do one more session, and if things are still looking this good, I'll release her back into your supervision by the afternoon."

"Thank you," Harley breathed. "Both of you. For all you've done for her."

"I've learned the hard way to give Poison Ivy what she wants," Barry smiled. "And what she wants is you."