Cara had fallen asleep after her rather weary confrontation with Kylo. Everything he had said to her, every time he had touched her, that kiss – it was too much to handle. She had barely been sleeping the last few nights; but with his comforting presence there it was all too easy to succumb to a hopefully dreamless sleep from which she could finally find some rest.
Sadly though, she was violently pulled out of unconsciousness by a sharp pounding on her door. Startled, she looked around the room, worry suddenly overwhelming her as Kylo was nowhere to be seen. She wondered who could be at the door now; she was fairly sure it was not time for a meal, and Kylo would never come back so soon, especially not after their last encounter. Not unless he had a reason.
She stood up rather quickly, shaking her head to try and rid herself of the sleep that still threatened to take over control of her eyes. She peeked around the corner, hoping to see who was standing at the door through the small window, surprised when she was confronted with the face of Kylo's newest prisoner. The young woman with so much willpower in her eyes.
Cautiously she walked towards the door, not really knowing what to expect but curious nonetheless. How had this stranger gotten out of her binds? How had she found her way back to this room? Perhaps, most importantly of all, what was she even doing there? Cara remembered what he had told her about this young woman – she was strong with the Force, only beginning to comprehend what it was she was capable of. She was impressed; Kylo had not been lying. This girl must be incredibly sensitive to the Force to have come so far in escaping. Cara had needed two men just to try and help her get off of this miserable planet, and that had not even gone as planned.
As she finally made it to the door, the young woman on the other side looked at her with such urgency in her eyes that Cara wanted to ask her what was wrong. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, as though she knew exactly what the woman was going to ask her without even really needing to utter the words. Cara dreaded the question, because she did not know the answer. She was not sure she could even give the right one.
"Who are you?" The girl asked, with a kind voice slightly muffled by the door, eyes wide with curiosity as she took in Cara's rather haggard appearance.
"My name is Cara."
"How long have you been here?" The girl continued, obviously wondering as to what her purpose there was. She had seen the way Cara had interacted with Kylo Ren, with the masked man who so longed to be like Darth Vader. It was a mysterious relationship, something deeper that she would never truly be able to understand.
"I'm not entirely sure. A few months, I suppose."
"A few months?' The young woman said, rather incredulously. She studied the woman in front of her; a woman who had been a prisoner here for a few months, who on the outside looked incredibly lost and tired – ragged hair, sunken cheeks, pale skin. On the inside though, it was clear that this was a woman with strong conviction; it was plainly visible in her eyes. 'Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"How are you still…alive?"
Cara let out a small chuckle, knowing like no other that there was no easy way to answer that question. There were many times that she had thought she would be killed on this planet, many times where that threat had seemed so inevitable she had almost made peace with it. Then one moment, she could not even pinpoint exactly which one, everything had changed – and she forgot where she was and why she had been taken there in the first place, and the only thing that mattered was Kylo Ren and his counterpart Ben Solo. All that had mattered was getting through to him. She may not have fully gotten Ben back yet, but there was so much in Kylo that was Ben; the way he looked at her, the way it felt when he touched her, the way he spoke about needing her and wanting her to stay with him. Theirs was a complicated relationship, filled with anger, jealously, regret, guilt, friendship and love. How could she possibly explain that to a complete stranger on the other side of a door, with the imminent danger of being caught continuously looming over their heads?
"That is hard to explain."
"He did not look at you the way he looked at me." The young woman said, obviously having picked up on the chaotic dynamic between Cara and Kylo.
"No, I suspect he wouldn't."
"Can you tell me why?"
"That would be even harder to explain,' Cara said, trying to delay the inevitable question a bit longer. Anything that would put off her having to make that same decision that FN-2187 had asked her to make all those days ago, because she was not sure she would be able to give the same answer. 'What's your name?"
"I'm Rey." The young woman answered, and Cara smiled, happy to be able to put a name to the face stood in front of her.
"Well, Rey, can I ask you a question?"
"If you like."
"Why are you here?"
"He knows I've seen something important to him. Important to the First Order. He tried to take it from me."
"And I gather he did not succeed?"
"No, I don't think he did." Rey said, locking eyes with Cara through the thick pane of glass.
The two women took in each other's appearance then, trying to understand whether they were friend or foe to one another. It was hard for Rey to decide; on the one hand, Cara seemed very much like a prisoner – trapped in a tiny room with no means of escaping, the fatigued look on her face indicating the hours and days she had spent alone, confined and afraid. On the other hand, there was something about the way her captor had spoken to her, as though they knew each other, intimately.
"That's the answer you were hoping I would give, I take it." Rey said, acknowledging the relieved expression on Cara's face.
"Yes."
"I can get you out of here you know, if you want. At least, I think I can. I can try." Rey continued, an adamant look gracing her features as she tried to feel the Force around her once more. She recognized the pained look on the other woman's features – it was a look she had felt reflected on her own face when asked to leave Jakku for good. It was dawning on her just what this man must mean to her in, some way. Rey just could not understand why.
Cara said nothing, her silence more than enough of an indication as to the confusion she felt on the inside. How could she leave Ben, Kylo even, now that she was so close to building up a relationship with him once more? Could she bring herself to be the cause of that betrayed look in his eyes again, as she may finally leave him for good? Was she ready to do that to herself, to give him up? Everything spun around in her head, taunting her with this current predicament. Why could nothing just be simple? Why did fear have to rule her every decision?
"I can tell that he's important to you." Rey said finally, trying to coax a response out of the other prisoner.
"Yes, he is. Very much so, actually."
"I don't suppose I would understand."
"Well, the short version is that I used to know him. A long time ago, when he went by a different name and a different…personality."
"And the long version?"
"I suspect you do not have time for the long version."
"I will if you come with me. I can get you out of here. I don't think you deserve to be here anymore than I do, Cara. No matter how much he may make you feel as though you want to stay."
Cara could feel a touch of resentment boiling up inside of her at the implication that Kylo was forcing her to stay. She was not one to be ruled by someone else, and yet this young woman that barely knew her was implying that that was the reason she was still here. As though this was an easy choice to make.
"He is not making me do anything." Cara replied, a slight tint of malice weaving its way through her words as she narrowed her eyes at Kylo's newest prisoner.
"Then come with me. I won't begin to think that I understand why you're so confused about escaping – and I won't push for answers if you don't want me to. But you can think about it on the way. It might be easier for you to make a decision if you've actually got the opportunity to get away from here."
Cara stilled for a moment, allowing the young woman's words to sink in as she tried to predict the consequences of her trying to leave again.
"Why are you here, Rey? Why did you come back to see me? Why would I possibly matter to you?" Cara said, and she could hear some of Ben and Kylo seeping its way into her question, a crushing need to know how someone could even care enough about her to risk their lives for her, or even to come speak to her. It was a fear that she had felt ever since Ben had left her, a fear that she had buried deep within herself until Kylo Ren had succeeded in unleashing her anger. It seemed with anger came fear and doubt, about yourself, and everyone around you. Something snapped into place for Cara then; the temper tantrums, the irrational violence and malevolence that Kylo Ren so often displayed. It was a fear born out of anger, and it was a fear that terrified Cara more than anything else, because it was now beginning to fester inside of her as well. Distrust in everyone. It dawned on her that Kylo and even Ben inside of him would never fully be able to trust her because of that. It dawned on her that she would probably never fully be able to trust him now either.
"I don't know if you matter to me yet, but I believe that everyone who has not had a choice in coming here deserves another chance to be who they want to be. A friend of mine taught me that." Rey smiled a little, and Cara felt a sense of recognition at the sentiment.
"If I come with you, I think it is only fair if you know that you cannot entirely trust me."
"I think you warning me about yourself might be reason enough to trust you." Rey replied.
There was a part of Cara that wanted to go search for Kylo the moment this door opened – to find him, tell her how he had made her feel yesterday, how confused and distraught she was because of him. How much her anger scared her and yet how much she thought she might want it as well, all because of him. She wanted to warn him about his prisoner escaping as much as she wanted to help Rey escape; because she had been in that same position – intimidated by a man in a mask for no good reason other than pure malice. Most of all though, she wanted to know what it was she needed for herself, right now; because as long as she did not know what it was she wanted, she would never be able to control her own impulses. Perhaps Rey was right. Perhaps Cara needed an opportunity like this to tell her what she truly needed, wanted, and deserved.
"I cannot promise that I will come with you when it counts, or what my actions may be if we run into him."
"I know."
"Then you are either unbelievably naïve, or just incredibly brave." Cara said, marvelling at the determined look in the young woman's eyes.
"I think the only way to answer that is to try to get out of here, now."
A/N: I just want to say to all my frequent reviewers, thank you so much. Your lovely thoughts and messages mean a lot to me! I'm so happy that people read this story. I will have a new chapter up soon, I promise!