The footsteps grew nearer, and Cara had to fight the urge to run. If it was indeed Kylo Ren, the situation would be bad enough. If it turned out to be someone else, someone who would not be so lenient about her wandering the halls – there would be a price to pay. She could not even fathom what her punishment would be.
She sucked in a breath, hoping to calm the trembling of her limbs and fingers so as to make any lie she told that much more convincing. She waited, but the footsteps had suddenly stopped, right before whoever they belonged to turned the corner so that Cara could see who she was about to face. The stranger's pause gave her a new moment to consider hiding, but there was nowhere to go. She was trapped.
She wondered if the person had gone into one of the control rooms that ran the length of the hallway, but she realized that she would have heard one of those heavy metal doors opening and closing. It was almost as though the person needed a moment to collect him or herself too, and Cara felt a surprising rush of sympathy for whoever it was that was stretching out this moment of terror, knowing exactly what that feels like.
It did not take long to find out who was waiting for her around the bend of the hallway however; they did not even need to show their face. The familiar surge and crackling sound of a lightsaber filled her ears, and the corridor was cast in an eerie red glow the likes of which she had seen quite a few times before. It was Kylo, just as her suspicions told her, but she wondered why he was waiting, why he had drawn his lightsaber. Surely, he would have felt her presence by now. Why not make himself known?
It took a few more agonising seconds, but he finally turned the corner, his helmet on once more, making Cara's heart sink with disappoint. She wanted to see his face, she never wanted to stop seeing his face – and whenever he hid it from her it made her want to yell in frustration. There was something so comforting about his familiar features, his smirk, and the way she could tell if he was getting angry just by looking at the change in colour of the irises of his eyes. She knew him, even though she still did not fully understand him. That familiar urge to pull off his mask was taunting her once more, to be as close to Kylo as she had been not all too long ago, but the presence of his lightsaber stopped her. His gloves were also on, slimming the chances of any real human contact between them, and Cara tried to avert her gaze as best she could, both to hide her displeasure and the need to lie to him.
"Cara." He said quite simply, his voice a strange mixture of tenderness and disapproval through the distorter in his mask.
"Kylo, I'm sorry – I was looking for you. One of the troopers came by to bring my meal, and suddenly there was all this commotion in the hallway and he forgot to close my door properly. I needed to know what was happening, if you were alright –"
"What do you know of what happened?" He asked, and she breathed a small sigh of relief at the lack of an accusatory tone in his voice.
"Nothing – but I can only imagine."
"The girl, she escaped. She cannot leave this planet."
The urgency of his words made Cara curious. Why did Rey matter so much? She may be strong with the Force, but she could not imagine that it was an affinity stronger that Kylo's.
"What happens if she escapes?"
"It is not something that you should worry about, Cara. I will deal with it on my own."
"But don't you see? You don't have to! I can help you Kylo, as much as you may believe otherwise. I can help you understand what you need to do, what you want to do. You have taught me so much, Kylo. Let me use that knowledge and the anger you awakened inside of me to assist you."
His head tilted downwards, and she could imagine the softening of his expression at her words. She felt awful for manipulating him like this, but it was necessary if she was going to give Rey a fighting chance. There was another part of her though, a part that enjoyed how easy these lies and devious words were coming out of her. It was a strange feeling of power, being able to sway him so easily with only her sentiments. Perhaps she was becoming more and more like Kylo Ren after all. She could tell that he had not even tried to look inside her mind yet, to see if she was telling the truth. He trusted her more now than he had at any point during the build-up of their relationship the entire time she had been on this planet. It made her feel powerful, and she tried to use her new found confidence to squash the guilt that was beginning to swell within her.
"Thank you, Cara. You have already helped me more than you know. Just by being here, by listening to me."
She tried to swallow her remorse, having temporarily forgotten who it was standing in front of her – It was Kylo Ren, and it was Ben, and she wanted to be able to embrace this new found confidence and strength within herself without feeling guilty about her own selfish need to be with him. She needed to steer the conversation in a different direction.
"Something else bothers you as well, Kylo."
"How could you possibly know that when you cannot see my face?" He asked, his voice still distorted by his mask.
"Because I know you, Master of the Knights of Ren. Better than you seem to think I do."
He was silent for a minute, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to share his worries with her.
"Han Solo is here. I can feel his presence."
Cara gasped, genuinely surprised at his response. It made the entire situation even more complicated. Did that mean that Ben's father had come back for Rey, and for his son? Kylo had told her that Rey looked at Han as a sort of father figure, much the same way Cara had done when she was younger. It saddened her that Han most likely had no idea that she was also trapped on this planet; would he even try to help her if he did? She had been here for so long, and had changed quite a lot along the way. Even she knew that she did not exude the same personality as she had when she was first brought here. Would he even recognize her? Would he condone how close she had become with the person that had once been his son?
"What will you do?" She asked, and as she said the words she could feel a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach – as though the ghosts from her nightmares had come back to haunt her, trying to tell her something through her own instincts.
"That is not something I will burden you with." The tone of his voice was harsher, determined. It worried her, it frightened her, and it angered her. What could she possibly say to change his mind? How had he managed to make her feel so small and insignificant again in just the span of a few short seconds?
"It would seem I have infuriated you." He continued, taking a step closer towards her, laying his free hand on her upper-arm. It was the arm that he had injured weeks before, and even though the wound had started to heal, it was still sensitive to the heat from his hands, a tingling sensation spreading throughout her limb at his touch.
"It would seem you have." She retorted, trying to distance herself from him. The closer he got, the easier it would be for him to break her.
"I do not mean to make you feel irrelevant. You are an important part of me, and every day that you choose to stay here with me is a day that makes it easier for me to understand what I have to do. That's all because of you. I may have unlocked an anger inside of you that you do not understand yet, but you have unlocked a potential in me that I have finally been able to take control of. And yet I know that you are conflicted – I know this because I used to feel the same way. You gave me a sense of balance, Cara. I hope I can do the same for you in the future. As long as you remain by my side."
His words were incredibly endearing, and she felt a rush of affection for just Kylo Ren – these were not the words of Ben Solo, as much as the tone of his voice and his current demeanour might make them out to be. These were the words of Kylo Ren, a man who had captured her because he knew that he would need her someday, and now he wanted her to stay. She understood that his words were a plea. She did not understand why this plea was necessary though. As glad as she was that she had been able to help Rey escape, as hopeful as she was that FN-2187 had indeed gotten away, Kylo Ren, and whatever may be left of Ben inside of him, was all that truly mattered in her life. She hoped there was nothing to come that would change that.
"I can help you search for him, if you like." She said, trying to answer his kind words with ones of her own. Again, she felt a tug at her gut, a brushing against her legs, and for a moment she could almost imagine she was back in her nightmare, straining to hear what the ghosts around her were trying to say. She ignored the sensation, shaking her head violently to get rid of the voices and the feeling of dread that was threatening to overwhelm her. It was as though her head was once again trying to tell her that she was missing a signal, a sign that was pointing to Kylo Ren's next deed. Once again, she disregarded them. She trusted him, just as he trusted her.
"I know you would, but I cannot be sure of what he will do to you if he sees you."
She could hardly imagine that Han Solo would do anything to harm her. She had warm and loving memories of him – trying to cheer her up after her parents died, teaching her and Ben about the mechanics of the Millennium Falcon, and playing games with them whenever they were bored. There were quite a few of those tender memories, but as soon as she thought of them she remembered how many of them were also tainted with a hint of resentment. He had often left Ben and Leia alone to fend for themselves, and when Ben had disappeared, he had disappeared too. Ben had more often than not been angry with his father, and since Cara was Ben's best friend, she would always take his side. It had never truly occurred to her to hear Han's side of the story. It was biased, she knew, but the same animosity that Ben had felt towards his father was evident in Kylo's voice. It was a bleak reminder of how much Ben had changed and yet also remained the same when he had become Kylo Ren.
"What would you like me to do then?" She asked, hoping more than anything that he would change his mind and ask her to come with him. She could not bear the idea of being separated from him right now – she needed to see with her own eyes what he was going to do about his father, what he would say to him, if she could hear Ben in Kylo's sentiments and recognize him in his actions. She feared she would not believe his account of the story if he came back to visit her in her cell later, no matter how much she may want to.
"Go back to your room, Cara. I will come for you when this is all over."
She wondered what that meant, what the ending of this night would be. There was no way that she was going to be able to sit still on her bench, counting the stars once more just to pass the time. She needed to know. She would need to dismiss his request and find out for herself.
Surprisingly, he took off his helmet, and she momentarily forgot what it was she was worrying about as she was once again greeted by the sight of his handsome and familiar face. There was something about being around him, seeing him so vulnerable in her presence that made her forget all her anger and confusion. His effect on her was so strong, in fact, that the anger would only increase once he had left – his presence so comforting and natural to her that it only made her angrier whenever she was not around him. She could barely remember what it had felt like to miss him all those years on Jakku; but she knew deep down that she never wanted to feel that way again.
He lightly traced his fingers along the line of her cheekbone, down to her jawline before lightly brushing his glove-covered thumb along her lips. Even though she could not feel his skin against hers, that touch was enough to remind her just how much he meant to her now, both as Kylo and as Ben.
"I promise I will come for you." He whispered, and with that, he turned around, placing his helmet back on his head, his soft demeanour from a moment before replaced once again by the intimidating footfalls that had frightened her and Rey before he had made his presence known to her.
She could still feel the feeling of his fingertips against her skin, and ghosts she had imagined circling her ankles were completely forgotten. She was still going to disobey his request – as well as she may know Kylo Ren, she needed to understand him as well. Completely.
She turned towards the opposite direction, following the corridor, hoping that the sounds of battle, struggle and orders being given to the Stormtroopers would direct her where to go.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! All reviews and comments are always welcome :) Thank you for reading, as always.