CHAPTER FIVE – SAW KNOWS NOTHING

EZRA

"Oh my force," Kiara panics as we rush to the kitchen. "Oh my force, oh my force."

I shut the door behind us. "Do we even have nuna to make up?"

Tav tears open the freezer unit and rummages around in it. "Thank the force," he sighs, pulling out a bag of frozen nuna chunks. "It's a good thing Uncle Saw and Uncle Hutch like these things so much."

"And that the University of Onderon is on a losing-with-dignity streak." Kiara says. "They always eat fried nuna during the games."

Tav chucks the bag of nuna onto the table.

"Great! Now what do you know about making fried nuna?" I ask.

All three of them freeze.

"Aunt Hero doesn't let anyone in the kitchen while she's cooking." Tav says. "She says we're trying to steal her recipes."

I search my memory banks, but all I know about fried nuna is that it tastes good.

"It needs breading. Don't we have to roll it in flour?"

"It's not just plan flour, I'm pretty sure she puts spices in it."

Kiara swivels on her heel. "Molly! Your mom lets you in here sometimes. What does she do to the flour?"

Molly throws up her hands. "I don't know. She just throws stuff from the spice cabinet into the dish with the flour."

I open the spice cabinet and stare inside at the rows upon rows of bottles filled with colorful, fragrant spices.

"Uh, which ones?"

"Use the force!" Molly implores.

"You can't just do that." Tav, Kiara and I say in unison.

Molly rolls her eyes. "Sorry for being the only one here who isn't force-sensitive."

I grab a bottle at random, unscrew the lid, and sniff it.

"Do you think this could be it?" I ask

Tav leans over to sniff the bottle. "I don't know, dump some in. I think those black flecks are pepper."

I dump some of the bottle's liquid contents into the flour and Tav follows with the pepper.

…

Kiara dumps an enormous amount of oil in the frying pan, lights the stove, and waits before we toss the nuna in.

"You know, I think this is going to work." Molly says, washing the dishes in the sink.

Just then, Kiara bumps the pan and some of the oil sloshes out, right into the flame.

Molly tackles her down. I grab the pan of nuna with the Force and lift it away from the flame. Tav dumps the flour onto the fire, extinguishing it.

"Kiara!"

"I'm fine," Kiara says grouchily, getting to her feet. "Thanks, guys."

I place the pan back on the stove and light another burner. "No problem."

Just then, there's a knock on the door.

Molly clasps her hands. "Oh holy gods of Unifras, please let that not be Grandma Mina or Uncle Tandin."

"Is everything all right in there?"

Tav relaxes. "Don't worry, that's Uncle Saw. He's clueless." He whispers.

"Everything's fine, Uncle Saw!" Kiara yells through the door. "We're just making Ezra a snack."

"Why do I smell smoke?"

Kiara has to think about that one for a second. "We accidentally burnt nachos in the microwave."

Saw pauses, and the door opens.

All of us freeze.

"H-hi, Uncle Saw." Molly squeaks.

Saw looks around to the pan of still-smoking nuna, to the mess on the counter, and Molly and Kiara on the floor.

"I know nothing." he says, gesturing to the room. "I know nothing, I see nothing, I wasn't even here! When Hero asks, I know nothing!"

…

"Do you think it worked?"

I stare at the fried nuna in the dish. "They look okay."

Molly takes an experimental whiff and wrinkles her nose. "They don't smell like they do when Mom cooks them."

"Well not everybody can be Hero St. James." Tav snaps. "Can they at least pass?"

"Visually, yes." I say happily. "They can."

On our ship, visual inspection is all that matters: if there's no mold on the ration bars, then they're safe to eat.

"But taste-wise?"

"Let's not deal with that right now," I suggest, put the lid on the container, and stick it in the refrigeration unit.

…..

Thirty minutes later, I hear a commotion coming from the kitchen.

"Are these our nuna wings? Hero even put a sticker on them for us." Hutch says. "That was nice."

"Hey, she never fails when the U of Onderon's winning streak is on the line." Saw announces. "Man, I can't wait for these things."

I haven't even had time to cross my fingers before the sound of spitting and retching fills the ship.

"Saw?"

"What the heck is in these things?"

"Calm down, man. Let me try a bite."

A few seconds and the sound of spitting later, Hutch pops his head into the main compartment. "Hey, babe? I think the nuna wings went bad or something."

"Bad?" Hero asks, getting up and walking toward the galley. "That's impossible; I just made them this morning."

"It might have been a bad package. They taste like vanilla."

"Vanilla?" Hero squawks.

Tav and I share a panicked look. I hope Kanan doesn't see it.

Hero stands in the doorway with a nuna wing. "The meat itself looks fine. It's like someone added vanilla to the batter."

Vanilla. That's what was in the bottle I dumped into the batter.

"I must have grabbed the wrong bottle," Hero says woefully. "Vanilla fried nuna! Seriously."

STEELA

When I enter our cabin Sierra is lying faceup on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Sierra, what are you doing?"

For an answer, Sierra points over to my side of the room. Sitting on my nightstand is the wine bottle she got for her birthday. Ahsoka wants us to keep it in our room so the kids don't get any ideas.

"Please help me get rid of that."

Ah. Now I see. Years ago hen Ahsoka, Hero, and I took Sierra out for her twenty-first birthday, we discovered that she can hold her liquor about as well as a sieve. After a mere two drinks, she was sobbing that Lux didn't show up to her birthday party even though we were having a girl's night.

She spent the next day throwing up and hissing at me whenever I turned our bedroom light on.

With the exception of that wild New Year's Eve party, she barely touches alcohol after that experience. It's been months since her birthday, and the bottle is only half gone.

"How much have you had?" I ask.

Sierra rolls over. "I can't even uncork it."

Some gears turn in my mind, an idea on how to get rid of the wine and reduce some tensions all at once.

"Shake the wine. I'll be right back."

…

Sierra flips the laundry basket over and sets it in the middle of the floor as a makeshift table. She places the bottle of wine, freshly shaken, in its center.

I gesture to the table. "Welcome to our humble home, Captain Syndulla."

Hera cautiously takes a step into the room. "A bottle of wine?"

"To make up for the restaurant." Sierra explains. "I hope you like Nubian merlot."

A smile plays on Hera's lips. "I happen to have enjoyed a few bottles in the past."

Sierra only smiles and pours the wine.

"Then I can't think of anyone better to share it with."

An alarm bell goes off in my mind, screaming: grifter mode! Grifter mode!

How a bottle of wine on an overturned laundry basket constitutes a good situation for grifting is absolutely beyond me, but it's Sierra's own grave she's digging.

"We have smoked sausage on crackers here, too." I say as Hera sits. "They go pretty well with it."

"So you're familiar with wines?" she asks.

"I'm not," I admit. "Lux is the wine expert on the ship. He's the one who got this bottle for Sierra's birthday."

Hera picks up her glass, inhales to take in the wine's bouquet, and then takes a sip. "What is this? It's excellent!"

Sierra picks up the bottle and reads the label. "Ah, Nubian red, brewed in Theed?"

Hera blinks hard. "Your brother bought this for you for your birthday?"

"I wouldn't say bought." Sierra admits. "He … obtained."

"He stole it," Hera translates. "Well, that makes more sense. It's valuable wine."

I take a sip of my own glass. If only Sierra and I knew that while we were guzzling the stuff straight from the bottle last week.

"So, you know wines?" I pick up on the conversation.

Hera nods. "Some. When you're moving goods against the Empire, it pays to know your wines in case someone thinks they can cheat you."

"Azmorigan?"

"Azmorigan." Hera confirms.

I take a gulp of wine. The last job we went on involved stealing from Azmorigan, and it was unpleasant to say the least. Lux, Ahsoka, and Sierra had to talk face-to-face with the disgusting crime lord, who really needs to clean out his ventilation ducts. I almost blew the con sneezing from all the dust.

"I've had a few brushes with him, none of them pleasant." Hera says.

Sierra snorts. "We stole a load of death sticks from his cargo hold last week. He shoveled food into his mouth the whole time. At least, when he wasn't asking whether or not Lux and I were willing to sell Ahsoka."

I distinctly remember hearing that conversation from the vents.

"Your land parcels are profitable," Azmorigan said. "But not worth a full delivery."

"How much would that be?" Lux asked.

Azmorigan pointed to Ahsoka. "She'll do."

"A smuggler actually sold me to him," Hera announces.

My eyebrows go up. "I would like to hear more about this."

Hera sips her wine. "Over a bottle of wine like this? How could I say no?"

…

"A B-wing bomber? The blockade buster?"

Hera nods. "It was a ship like no other."

"I've heard of those, but I've never seen one in the flesh," I say, absolutely rapt.

The bottle of wine is empty and the plate of sausages cleared, but Hera's a good storyteller.

I wink at Sierra, who's half asleep. "We probably should get some rest."

"True enough." Hera concedes. "Thank you for the wine. I think our teams will have plenty to learn from each other in the morning."

A/N: The idea for vanilla fried nuna goes to the lady on "Worst Cooks in America" who made vanilla fried chicken. And Saw's "I know nothing" line is taken from Sergeant Schultz from "Hogan's Heroes". Speaking of Saw, who else was excited to hear him mentioned in Rebels?

Thank you to starwarshobbitifics, Johnt12345, and Rose Ravenclaw for your reviews. And speaking of which, please review!

Until next time,

Lux's Sister