Jay sat at the counter at the Dot, slurping soda through a straw to chase the burger and crispy fries he was devouring. Spinner watched him with a sly grin.

"Five days, right?" asked Spinner.

Jay looked up, trying to appear casual and uninterested. He had been jittery all week. "Hmm? Five days what?" Jay responded innocently.

Spinner's grin spread wider. "Five days until the big day."

Jay furled his brow and shrugged. "What, is there another Clown Academy movie coming out?"

Spinner smacked Jay with a towel. "Five days until the Smithdale kids come home from school for winter break. Five days until Manny comes back?"

Jay shifted his attention to his food, shrugging with disinterest. "Oh. Is it December already? I hadn't noticed."

Spinner rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever, asshole, don't act like you're not totally excited. As if you haven't been counting down the days. What retarded romantic plan do you have to win her back?"

"Well," said Jay, contemplating as he gnawed on his burger. "I was thinking of getting drunk and climbing through her window. Worked alright for you."

Spinner's clever retort was cut off when Holly J appeared at the counter, slamming down a plate of food and sighing. "Spin, can you comp table seven's cheeseburger and make me another, pretty please? Princess over there seems to think this one is overcooked, and I really can't take any more crap from that bitch today."

Slumped grumpily over his plate of food, Jay couldn't resist smirking. It was amusing to hear Holly J of all people refer to someone else as "princess," as if she didn't have her own Ultra Bitch complex. He also couldn't help but notice the twinkle of sweat on her forehead, and how she seemed oddly kissable with her face all scrunched up and angry like that…

Holly J glanced at him, soaking in his mopey disposition. "What's his damage?" she asked Spinner.

Spinner grinned, only to happy to relish in his close friend's misery. "Ah, well, you know how Jay's got that whole emotional constipation thing going," Spinner answered jovially. "Manny's coming home in five days, and he doesn't want to admit that he's excited."

Holly J's eyes brightened and she beamed at Jay. There had been something strange about her, an unusual kind of exuberance that lit up her whole face, ever since she'd gone to that corny Black and White dance. "Really? I hadn't realized it was so soon. What retarded romantic plan do you have to win her back?"

Jay snorted into his drink, trying not to make direct eye contact with Holly J. "Have you two started some kind of club?" he asked dryly. "Have you been having strategic meetings to constantly make me miserable?"

Holly J rolled her eyes smugly. "As if you need help being miserable, Mr. Pouty Pants. You're like, the anti-sunshine."

Jay grimaced at Holly J, but rather than insult her directly, he turned his attention to Spinner. "Say, Spin," he said thickly, "it's really thoughtful of you to spruce the place up for the Christmas season. You know, making your employees dress all festive and whatnot.

"Um, excuse me?" Holly J prodded, looking sincerely confused.

Jay shifted his eyes toward the scowling ginger, grinning. He reached out and flicked the enormous, candy-striped hoop earrings that dangled from her lobes. "Seriously though, Ho-J, what's with the earrings? You look worse than my Aunt Flo's Christmas tree."

Holly J snarled, smacking his dirty fingers away. "Well at least they didn't come from a garbage can, unlike someone's attire."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm stung, really, Ginger Spice."

"Tuh! You're one to talk. You're like a goth Backstreet Boy."

"Joiner!" Jay accused.

"Neanderthal!" Holly J snapped back, cocking one hip.

"Virgin!"

"Pedophile!"

"Harlot!"

"Jay, you can't insult me for being a virgin and a harlot. That doesn't even make sense."

"Don't try and fool me with your logic, woman."

Spinner watched their exchange with stifled laughter. Grinning, he placed his hands dramatically over his heart. "Gosh," he joked, "can't you just feel the holiday warmth in the air?"

Jay shifted his attention away from his less-than-compassionate friends and shoveled fries into his mouth to distract himself. "Since when are you guys so interested in my love life, anyway?" Jay asked. Intently avoiding eye contact with Holly J.

"More like the lack thereof," Holly J corrected, practically glowing. She was pleased the way events had shifted in her favor at the Black and White dance, and the positive progress she was making with Blue made her particularly revved up to help Jay get his lady, too. She clapped her hands affirmatively, almost the same way she would lead off a cheer. "Don't worry, Stinko, we're going to get the girl."

Jay grimaced. "We?"

Holly J rolled her eyes. "Of course. As if you could pull anything off without me. We're a team now. Now let's get our poker faces on."

The annoyed, scrunched-up expression Jay wore was anything but a poker face. "Thanks but no thanks, pipsqueak. I think I can handle this—if there were anything to handle, which there isn't—just fine on my own. In case you've forgotten, I'm kind of a lady killer."

Holly J snorted. "Right. You take one look at them, and they die of fright."

Jay took the French fry in his fingers and pointed it accusingly at her. "I don't need your sass, munchkin. And I definitely don't need your love advice. I thought I was supposed to be teaching you, anyhow. When the hell did the tables turn?"

Spinner snickered. "The student surpasses the master," he joked. "Didn't she tell you? Holly J snagged her guy after all."

Jay curled his brow suspiciously, eyeing Holly J. "You hooked up with Homo Art Boy and didn't even tell me?"

Holly J blushed and gave Spinner a scolding punch in the shoulder. "Spinner's exaggerating. I just had a good time at the dance with him, is all. But enough about me and my vastly more successful love life, we're focusing on you here, Jason. You need to get Manny back. Maybe if you got laid again you'd stop whining like a little bitch."

Jay threw up his hands in exasperation before clunking them down onto the countertop, burying his face in his arms. "I've created a monster…" he mumbled into his sleeves.

Holly J's mischievous grin only widened at Jay's displeasure. "Now, let's see. Manny's your typical bimbo slutbag, so she's going to want something corny and romantic. Something that will make her feel special, like the most special slutbag in all the land." She scratched her chin in thought, until sudden realization lit up her face. "I've got it! I know just the guy that can help us."

"Help us what, Holly J?" Jay groaned.

"Sweep Manny off her feet, of course." The bitch from table seven, who had been tapping her fingers impatiently as she glared at Holly J, was now audibly snapping her fingers to get the waitress's attention. Holly J rolled her eyes and sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to my life of servitude. I'll call you later and we can work out the details for our plan."

"What plan?" Jay asked, even as Holly J scurried away, ignoring him completely.

Spinner watched Jay's unhappiness with a light chuckle.

Jay scowled. "Hey, you, stop smiling. Nobody's paying you to smile. Sheesh." He rubbed his aching temples, dreading whatever horrendous plans Holly J was concocting.