Note: Sorry for the hold-up, I got kind of burned out on this story and I had to back off for awhile.
Sometimes, without really knowing why, a man must wallow. Jay Hogart was a man of many talents, but wallowing was one of his finer arts. For three days, he took the long way to and from work just to avoid the Dot. He rented Xena: Warrior Princess from the nearby video store and spent hours each night in TV-marathon mode. Nothing but sitting in a dark stupor, eyes glued to the bouncing leather-clad boobs on the screen, smoking pot, drinking cheap beer, scarfing liquorice and cheese puffs. Periodically, messages surfaced on his answering machine from Dad and Third Wife nagging him to come visit for Christmas. He ignored those messages the same way he ignored everything for those three days.
Jay had a colorful turn of phrase for situations such as these. Shit is fucked, he called it. Try as he might to drown his anxiety in junk food, drugs, and 90s syndicated television, he could not ignore the fact that Manny's return was drawing nearer. He could also not ignore the fact that he had burned a bridge with Holly J for no apparent reason. Why, why did the thought of Holly J helping him with Manny infuriate him so much? It was too unsettling to try and reconcile his relationship with Manny with his relationship with Holly J. That the two girls existed in the same universe was difficult for him to comprehend.
His mind was swimming through so many feelings he didn't know what to feel any more. Feeling was overrated, anyway. He'd always thought so himself.
With a sigh, he crawled across the thoroughly-littered floor of his apartment, switching the discs in his DVD player. He flopped back down on the musty brown couch and hit "play" on the remote. He savored the gentle hiss of air releasing from his newly-opened can of beer and let the next season of Xena take over his brain.
He was so engrossed in the over-the-top fight sequence that, for a moment, he thought the obnoxious pounding noise outside his apartment was actually just Lucy Lawless's fists of fury. Finally, he recognized it as someone knocking on his door. Someone who was rather pushy. Someone who would not go away.
He hit "stop" and grumbled as he approached the door, guzzling beer with each angry step. When he swung open the door, Holly J stood boldly in the hallway, tacky earrings jangling as usual, fists perched on sassy hips, lip gloss shining, eyebrows raised. For a split second, he felt a slight trickle of warmth in his stomach. It had been days since he'd seen her, and suddenly he realized that was kind of a big deal.
But the feeling lasted only a second. He was quick to stamp it out, squash it into nothing, and pretend it had never happened. He scowled. "If you came looking for an apology, you must be smoking crack," he said gruffly. "Because I'm not sorry."
"You? Sorry? I wouldn't dream to make such a bold presumption," Holly J said airily. She stood on her tip toes, trying to see past Jay into the apartment. She couldn't help but be a little curious to know how he lived. Realizing what she was doing, Jay pulled the door closer to him, blocking the view nervously.
"Then what do you want, pipsqueak?" Jay asked. "I'm kind of busy here."
Holly J laughed harshly. "Busy? What, do you knit now? Give me a break. You're never busy. You have no life."
Jay lowered his eyes and spoke through his teeth. "I have my hobbies."
"Jerking off to Lizzie McGuire reruns doesn't count as a hobby."
"I'm into older women now, as a matter of fact. The jailbait thing was starting to get annoying."
And for a split second, Holly J felt her brassy demeanor falter, feeling that his jab was geared toward her in particular. Feeling, for the first time, a little unsure of herself around Jay. But the feeling lasted only a moment. She was quick to stamp it out, squash it into nothing, and pretend it had never happened.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then?" she quipped, quick to cover her momentary lapse.
"Xena Warrior Princess," Jay answered with a shrug.
Holly J wrinkled her nose. "Dear god you're old, man."
With a cheeky snarl, Jay began to close the door. "Well good, I'm glad we cleared that up. Love these little chats of ours."
"Wait!" Holly J commanded, slapping her hand against the door to keep it from shutting. She pushed all of her weight into the action, fighting with Jay to force her way inside. "I need to talk to you. Can't you just let me in for a second?"
Jay bit his lip. "Can't we just talk in the hall?"
"What am I, a traveling salesman? Is it too much to ask to just come inside? God, manners much?" She tapped her foot impatiently, and slowly, comprehension dawned on her. "You're not embarrassed to let me see your apartment, are you? Got a bunch of dirty mags lying around?"
Jay sighed. He was embarrassed, actually, but then he remembered that this was Holly J. And screw whatever Holly J thought. With a distinct expression of defeat, he limply let go of the door and let it flop open. Holly J marched into the apartment triumphantly and shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath and paused for moment, realizing she had tread into Jay's most personal space. It was utterly unlike the world she knew; it was the world of lonely, dirty boy.
She shook off the wave of endearment she felt at witnessing such a private place, and turned to face Jay. She was determined to remained focused and straightforward.
"Jay, I have a proposition for you," Holly J said confidently, hands perched on her hips.
"Are we going to scam your grandma in croquet this time?" Jay asked in a bored tone, retrieving another beer from the mess on the coffee table.
"No scams this time. I think you and I have to have sex."
Jay splattered beer all over the place.
"You… what?"
Holly J shrugged. "It's obvious, right? It'll end this silly sexual tension between us and we can get back to the harmonious friendship we once so enjoyed. Okay, well, maybe not harmonious, but it worked well enough, I think. So…" Holly J glanced casually around the room. "Is this the extent of what we're working with or do you, you know, actually have a bed somewhere underneath all this filth?"
Holly J's nonchalant demeanor left Jay struggling to compose his thoughts. "Okay, no offense, kiddo, but are you out of your fucking mind?" he managed to ask.
"Not at all. I've thought about it long and hard, and I'm certain this is the only solution to our problem." She proceeded to remove her jacket and toss it to the floor.
Jay immediately blushed as his eyes bulged to twice their normal size. "Okay, whoa, stop that! The clothes need to stay on, hear me? Where the hell did you get this idea, anyway? How would you even know how to spot sexual tension? You're out of your league, rookie."
Holly J folded her arms and pouted. "You're the closest thing I've got to a friend right now, fuckface, and I'm not letting your idiotic male moodiness ruin that. Now strip." She dove forward and landed a hand on his zipper.
"Whoa!" Jay squealed, borderline girlishly. "Okay, that's it. Out! Out, nympho!" He started pushing her towards the door, but Holly J only tightened her grip dangerously close to his package.
"Not until I get that sweet Hogart lovin!"
"Alright, fine, you stay. I'm leaving. Lock the door behind you, I'll be back when sanity returns to the universe…"
…
In the warm and cozy familiarity of the Dot, Manny and Emma laughed with one another as Spinner placed two steaming mugs of hot chocolate at the their table.
"Weird to be back, isn't it?" Emma mused, glancing around the restaurant. "I don't even recognize most of these people…"
Manny nodded and took a sip of her drink. "Yeah. I feel kinda outta place…" Inwardly, however, Manny was pleased to find the Dot empty of its former "usual" crowd. She had only just arrived home for the holidays, and wasn't keen to confront certain unfinished business from her past.
In the next moment, the bell on the Dot door rang abrasively as the door swung open dramatically. The exact person Manny had been dreading marched into the door, panting and looking slightly crazed.
"Spinner!" Jay yelled, approaching the befuddled Dot employee and gripping his shirt. "You've gotta help me. Holly J's being ridiculous and she won't stop following me. I need to hide upstairs."
Right behind Jay, the door flew open again, and Holly J scurried inside, her usual perfect hair frayed in multiple directions. "Hogart! STOP BEING SUCH A BABY AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES ALREADY!" she screamed for all the Dot to hear.
Manny and Emma stared, clutching their mugs, jaws dropped wide open.
"Um, wow, I don't even want to know," said Spinner, handing the key to the upstairs storage room to Jay.
Without a moments pause, Jay snatched the key and darted out the back door. Holly J shot after him at lightning speed.
Manny furled her brow in disbelief. "Was that…?" she began.
"Um, yeah," Emma responded. "That definitely was."