Chapter Five

Like the wound is a fuse and sitting up just lit it. Pain seers through every cell in my torso. As a groan escapes from my lips, my hand flies up to my chest and finds bandages.
"Elektra…" I croak. I'm on my couch, I know that because of the luminosity pouring in through the window. It casts a lukewarm heat over my body, one that's grown to feel like home.
"Elektra…?" There's no answer. I try to stand and my body buckles, like its alien to my orders. It scares me, I'm not used to having no control over myself. Gripping the couch, I fall to the ground.
"Argh!" I cry out, the pain blocks out everything else. And as always, after pain comes panic as I start to run through what I remember.
"Elektra?" I say, louder now as I pull myself up to my feet. "Are you ok?"
No answer. Has she gone? Could she be done with Hell's Kitchen? I have to assume she's okay, how else would I wake up here?
Pulling myself to my feet, I decide it's time to get to my day job.
-

Using my stick to shove open the door, I stalk into the office. The first thing I detect is cinnamon and coffee, beneath it is a gentle smell, more like a rose-scented musk. It's Karen.
"Rough night?" She asks.
"You could say that." I mumble, my voice is hoarse, I think I took a blow to my collar bone and the bruising has spread to my throat tissue. Jesus, I'm in pain.
"Where's Foggy?"
"Now you care. You didn't show up last night." She says, pointedly.
"Karen, Foggy wasn't gonna show up—"
"But he did. Matt. He made the effort to, which is more than I can say for you."
I scoff, my mouth hangs open for a moment.
"You know what, Karen. Fine. Side with him. I'm so tired of explaining myself to you guys." And I'm headed for the door.
"Woah, where the hell did that come from?" She follows me, angry and kinda concerned.
I just shake my head.
"You know what, Matt. I don't know what weird stuff you do outside of work, but it would be awesome to just once, once, be made to feel like you actually give a damn about me and Foggy."
This stops me dead. I turn and face her, I can hear her heart hammering in her chest.
"I never ask you for an explanation. We all have secrets, and they're better left in the dark." She says now, her voice is thick with sorrow. "I just… I kind of need you guys right now and neither of you are around." Her voice catches in her throat, she's almost embarrassed by her own vulnerability.
" Ever."
All I can think is Karen needs me and I've been AWOL.
"What's going on?" And now it's my heart's turn to hammer. I go through everything she's been saying to me this past week, the times she blew me off, the times she mentioned this new vigilante.
"Are you okay?" I ask, the questions shoot out like bullets, one after the other. I don't even realise I'm not giving her a chance to answer until my words land on silence. I reach out and gently squeeze her shoulders.
"What can I do?"
I ask, pretending not to notice her burning up when I touch her. She takes in a shaky breath and all I'm met with is silence. There's something she's been carrying alone, and I wish I could tell her she doesn't have to. But I know what secrets are like, I know what battling demons is like. I slowly pull my hands away, unsure if they lingered a moment longer than they ought to.
"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Look, after work, say the time and place and I'll be there. I promise you." I say, half-concerned I might not make it if some vigilantism kicks off.
I guess the city can miss me, for one night. Even as I think it, I shake the thought off. I can't stop, not even for one night. The city needs me.
"You promise?" She pipes up, and I nod. Not even thinking of the consequences of letting her down.
I won't let her down. Not tonight.
"I promise you can count on me."
-

The night comes and I make my way through the city. Rain slicks down over me even though it's a mild night. Karen left to follow some leads, and I didn't push to go with her. I've been working all day. There's been a huge increase in gang related crime and links to another vigilante in town, the militarised guy Karen mentioned a few days ago. They're calling him the Punisher. He's tracking down criminals and killing them, brutally.
As I arrive at the docks, I sense her stood meters away but instead I wait for her to notice me.
"Matt, hey…" She says softly, she's shuddering.
"Hey." I whisper, it's barely audible. Tonight, I catch glimpses of her outlines, her eyes, her cheeks, I paint a picture in my head with raindrops doing all the work for me.
"Hold still." I utter, captivated as I raise a hand and stroke her bare arm, wiping the raindrops away as my hand moves up along her shoulder, then to her neck and finally at her cheek. Her body gives off heat as she shudders, but as my fingertips caress her she tilts her head at me but doesn't move.
"I-I don't get colours. But when it rains, the garbled colourless chaos starts to take shape."
I try to explain. She'll never understand the ways I see her, the ways I know her, she will never understand the intimate way I know I make her heart beat faster just by standing near her.
"You're…beautiful." I manage. I'm star struck by the flickers of colours and sensory overload I'm experiencing. Who am I kidding, I'm star struck by her. By Karen.
My fingertips slide from her cheek so my thumb hovers over her full lips, they're parted slightly. And I remember she's still holding her breath. I wonder if she realises she'd not breathing. As my fingers graze over her supple skin, I feel her take in a quivering breath.
In the lukewarm rain, I take a step closer to her closing the small distance between us. She's on fire, and as I step into her warmth, I'm enveloped by the scent of her shampoo mingling with her rose-scented perfume, and her cherry lip balm.
"I shouldn't…" I manage, that's when I feel her take a step closer to me too. Maybe we're both seeking comfort in this heartless city, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.
I lean my forehead against hers, and she sighs. As if a wall inside her finally gave way, and I feel it too. The relief of intimacy, the relief of just letting go of holding it together and suppressing my desire for so long. Our noses brush gently, and as if we've always been in sync, she leans closer as I press my lips against hers. We're two halves finally put together to make something whole. Her hands slide around my neck as she cups my face and kisses me back tentatively at first then with more intensity.
All this time, she felt it too. My heart swells but doesn't feel heavier, instead it feels lighter than it has in months, years even. Kissing Karen is where I wanna stay. Maybe that's I deflate a little as she pulls away after a moment. She places a warm hand on my chest pushing me away just enough for her to catch her breath. I wish she'd kiss me again. But I wait.
I won't rush her.
"We shouldn't."
"But we did." I answer, my hand finds her cheek again and I feel her smile.
"Yeah… we did." She says with a nod.
"C'mon, let's get out of here." I advise. She slips her hand into mine and we walk together, only now she leans into me a little as we go and I savour every second of it.
Sure, this is exactly what I need, but I'm wondering if this is what she needs.
"What do you wanna do?" She asks, her voice still hides something, and it's starting to trouble me.
"Whatever you want." I reply with a supportive tone. As she squeezes my hand gently, I notice how well my hand fits hers. "I'm sorry I've been so… absent."
"It's okay. We all have things to deal with." She says with that sincerity I love so much.
"I'm glad you reached out."
"I'm glad it rained." She says, her voice barely above a whisper.