Oh, no! Another Cliched Love Story!
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"As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."-John Green
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6. Won't You Be My Bride?
"As Artemis' soon-to-be wife, you need to learn how to manage the Fowl Manor," Artemis' grandmother said and she interwined her fingers. "The earlier we start the better."
"Um.." Cassie chuckled nervously. "Mrs. Fowl, really.."
They were sitting in the living room of the Fowl Manor. Juliet had her back pressed against a wall.
"Artemis calls me Grandmother and so shall you. After all, you are going to be my granddaughter-in-law."
"Mrs. Fow-" Artemis clearly got his glare from her. "I mean, grandma, I think your granddaughter-in-law is going to be Science. That's the only thing he's interested in."
"Nah. Old lady, your granddaughter-in-law is gonna be Money," Juliet chimed in.
Cassie decided that she liked the beautiful Barbie-like bodyguard the moment she said and gave her a small smile.
"I know that Cassandra is going to be my granddaughter-in-law."
"Grandmother, my name isn't Cassandra. It's just Cassie." Cassie repeated herself for the hundreth time.
"Just 'cause he brought a girl home for the first time doesn't mean that-" Juliet said, bemused. She looked like she was on the front-row seat of a soap-opera.
"Yes, I'm just here to help Artemis with this arts and craft project we're working on."
Cassie had finished the thousand paper cranes before summer vacation.
Artemis had acidentally burnt some of her golden paper cranes when he was trying to make a home-made acetylene torch in his room (stupid d-bag of a genius).
He had asked her to come over to his place and make them for him again. The smug bastard was all, 'I could program a robotic arm to fold papers accordingly, but you just live a few streets away and I thought it'd be nice to watch you suffer while I sip my martini.'
She had slapped him on the face.
Called him a 'pig-headed moron'.
And then, finally, agreed. Because she was the real moron.
It was true that her house was a few streets away. The area in which they lived in was filled with Ireland's elite and as the owners of West Europe's most loved bakery chain, the Messes lived there as well.
"It's not the fact that he invited you over, it's the way he looks at you!" Artemis' grandmother said.
"He looks at me like he wants to toss me into the ocean."
Cassie wouldn't mind Artemis having a crush on her (hell, she'd encourage it) but she'd read enough romance paperback novels to know that Artemis Fowl the Second would never ever ever have even the slightest bit of affection for her.
"No. He looks at you like you are a bug!" In which world did that indicate that she was gonna be Mrs. Cassie Fowl?! "Like you are his bug. Something he needs to protect and also make sure that he doesn't accidentally step on."
Cassie mouth hung open but then she closed it. "It's never going to happen, Grandmother. However, if we're talking about the next Mrs. Fowl, I might just have the perfect person for Artemis. I do enjoy matchmaking like any other girl." Cassie grinned at the thought.
"I can't choose who my grandson ends up with. It's his choice and he's chosen you. Once upon a time, Arty's grandfather looked at me and Artemis looked at Angeline the same way."
"Like they were looking at a bug?" Cassie said, raising an eyebrow and Juliet burst out laughing.
"At the beginning, yes. Fowl men give their hearts away but it takes eons for them to realise it. Until then, they do everything to avoid and mistreat you. But once they realise their feelings, they are the best lovers," Grandmother said.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh!
"Cassie, don't you want Arty to be your lover?" Juliet laughed and rolled over.
The tips of Cassie's ears went red.
Cassie coughed uncomfortably. "So, I've read like a bajillion romance novels, so you can say I'm a bit expert on the matter of romance. A popular theme is opposites attract. And I've found the girl who will be the fire to Artemis' ice: Isabella Kossel!" Cassie showed a picture of Izzy in her phone.
Artemis had walked into the room and Juliet was about to tell Cassie that, but he stopped her.
"Artemis hair is black, like the endless night while Izzy's hair is red like the dazzling sun. Artemis is reserved and quiet while Izzy is outspoken and loud. Artemis is a criminal mastermind while Izzy is a detective prodigy. Everyone loves forbidden love! She will bring the light to Artemis' tortured soul and he will show her that wicked can be good," Cassie was on a roll. "She is a taekwondo, karate, kung-fu black-belt while Artemis is the infamous two left-feet Fowl. She is the hard-working poor ambitious girl while he is the privledged rich. Their pairing is perfect, grandmother! Their love story could be a best-seller!"
"Pair me up with Kossel ever again and I will kill you. Slowly," Artemis said and Cassie froze.
Artemis kissed his grandmother's cheek. "Thank you for entertaining my guest while I was late."
"It's the denial phase, Artemis! She gives passion to your soul!"
"My tortured soul, isn't it?"He shot her a look. Artemis grabbed her by collar and dragged her to his room.
"See! He treats me like a dog! A dog!" Cassie whined.
15 minutes.
It would've just taken him 15 minutes to program a robotic arm to fold paper cranes for him. And, the work would've been done by 5 hours.
And he still didn't know if he had really burnt some of the paper cranes to crisp 'accidentally'.
And, yet... he watched Cassie snuggle into 'his' bed as she folded those paper cranes. She was lightly humming as she did her work.
They had spent hours together the last few months in school.
He had gone accustomed to her annoying, loud, drama queen of a company. She'd fold papers and talk to him while he worked.
He couldn't sit down to work without missing her annoying voice.
So, maybe, he did burn those paper cranes.
So, maybe, he did it because he wanted her around.
She was kind of his first real friend. Butler and Juliet didn't count as they were practically family.
She had accepted him. Even the criminal bit.
"I really think Izzy is perfect for you."
"Don't even dare to put me in a date scenario with her."
"Just because she has different principles doesn't mean-!" Cassie sounded exasperated.
"It's not about her detective meddling! It's about how she treats you!" Artemis snapped and then, blinked. What was he saying? So he turned the tide. "I don't like people taking advantage of your simple-mindedness and foolishness. If she calls herself your friend, she should at least treat you like one."
"I'm not simpleminded. I can soo take care of me. And Izzy is a complicated person and I go to St. Bartelby's. No matter what I do, people look down on me because I'm not smart or rich enough. But that doesn't mean that I should sit in a corner and make no friends." Her voice sounded a bit sad in the end.
"Well, the main point is Izzy is not a bad person. She just carefully measures a person's value and then treats them accordingly. As do you. It would be so nice if you got together. It'd be straight out of a novel."
"It is not going to happen."
"What about Juliet?"
"Practically incest."
"Huh. I guess you're the kind who'd marry someone for profit. So arranged marriage then?"
"Why is my love life your current obssession?" Artemis massaged his temples and exhaled sharply.
"It's not an obssession. You know what your grandma is upto, right? She's grooming me to be your wife and it's really weird. It makes me wonder if I've already met the girl who will one day be the next Lady Fowl."
"My mother's not always around and Juliet won't budge so Grandmother doesn't have a girl to dress up and play with. You're like this brand new doll. If it's making you uncomfortable, I'll talk to her about it," Artemis said.
"Nah. If I minus the whole 'Artemis'-bride' thingy, she's one cool cookie. And do you know you were super-adorable when you were little? You still had that signature glare but it only made you look cuter."
"So, she finally found someone to show those family photos?"
"Yeah. You're gonna be real handsome one day, you know? I've seen the pics of your ancestors and if you turn out to look anything like them.." Cassie tried to do a wolf-whistle but ended up looking like she was sucking thin air.
Artemis burst out laughing.
He stopped when he saw Cassie grin.
He coughed to hide his embarassment.
"So do want to come to my mother's birthday party?" Artemis pretended to wince at Cassie's bright smile. "I could use your company. It'd be nice to have someone to hold my drinks."
Cassie, who was now practically immune to his rudeness, shot him a grateful look and wrapped her arms around him. "I'd love to." She giggled. "I'd get to see the debut of the chandelier we made."
"Has it ever occured to you that we are complete opposites, too?"
"As the next Lady Fowl, you will assist me in organizing the ball held in honor of your future mother-in-law," Artemis' grandmother said. She gave her a clipboard with papers of checklists.
What?!
"I.. uh.." Cassie said.
"Let's start with the flower arrangement. And don't slouch. A woman should look strong and dignified. People should look at you and think 'Woah, I wouldn't mess with her man, she'd kill me!'" Artemis' grandmother said and Cassie giggled. "Remind me to get you a poise instructor."
So, maybe, she had developed a crush on him.
It had hit her like a ton of bricks.
For the past few months, he'd been like her guardinan angel. He'd been tutoring her when he had free time and he'd give her great advice. He'd help her out and she felt like she could lean on him.
His grandma's talks about their relationship and that thing he said...
'Has it ever occured to you that we are complete opposites, too?'
She watched Artemis walk around in the ballroom. He charmed the guests, danced with the girls and would check upon his mother every once in a while to ensure she was having a good time.
She started blushing every single time her eyes fell on him.
Her mind made a list of reasons for her crush:
1) He's caring and sweet- he went very far for very few.
2) He's 'really' handsome - like those icy blue eyes. Gawds, if she could run her her hand through that sizzling mess of raven hair.
3) He was reliable and responsible.
4) He was chivalrous and she was pretty sure that he was a feminist.
5) And that criminal thing... well, that was just plain sexy.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
Cassie Mess, you can never freaking ever like that guy. Like, NEVER!
Cassie wanted to mentally make a list of reasons on 'Why Crushing on Artemis Fowl is Suicidal' but her heart didn't want to think anything bad about Artemis.
He walked over to her. "Thank you for helping my grandmother in organising the ball. An thank you for the paper crane chandelier."
"Yeah, you're welcome. She did everything though." She couldn't look him in the eye, her heart pounded in her chest and she couldn't breathe properly. Crushing on someone was like a disease.
"You look uncomfortable. You are exhibiting all the tell-tale signs of nervousness."
'Because, now you're my crush and I don't know how to talk to you!'
This wasn't the superficial crush Cassie had for Maity.
"It's just I'm having my period and its really hurting so I'm all fidgety," Cassie quickly lied.
Artemis raised an eyebrow and Cassie realised what she had just said.
Dear Lord.
WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?
"I see," Artemis looked deep in thought and then he walked away.
That was awkward. And he didn't even say anything. He just walked away!
What had she done?!
WHY DID SHE TALK ABOUT PERIODS WITH HER CRUSH?!
She wanted to throw herself into an ocean.
She went to the gardens and sat with her head in her hands.
"Here." Cassie looked up at Artemis, startled. He gave her a cup of tea and bought some warm water pads with him. "At first, I thought about giving you painkillers but I thought that its better to give a natural remedy. So, I looked up the web for some good herbal tea that will help with the pain. I brewed it since I figured you'd want to keep it under the wraps. And I read that pressing something warm against your stomach or calf muscles helps with the pain, too."
Cassie looked at the tea. Thoughts swam in her mind.
"Don't worry. I made sure that you weren't allergic to any of the ingredients."
Cassie drank the tea.
He gave her warm water bags. "I need to go and talk to the guests but call me if you need me. Do you need to change your tampon or pad? It's not good to keep it on for too long."
Cassie shook her head, unable to speak.
Artemis gently patted her head. "I hope the pain eases. It's unnatural for you to be this quiet. Call me if you need me. I'll drop you home when the ball is over."
When their eyes met, he gave her a small smile and then, he walked to the ballroom.
Cassie gulped. Her face was as bright as a tomato.
She was soo done for.
She wasn't crushing on him. She was falling for him.
A/N:Thank you and thank you for your support! I hope you enjoy reading it and I'd really love to hear what you have to say. I need to know if I'm keeping up the entertainment factor.
To all my anonymous reviewers: Thank you. Really. You keep it real guys, love ya'll to death.
Next few chapters are gonna be fun to write. Hints: Confession time (yes, the romantic sort) AND time travel with a twist.
HAPPY IMPORTANT NEWS: Fanfiction now has an official APP! WOOHOO! It's super new but I'm so happy that my fav site is now in the business. Woot!
