Taylor's POV – 11 August 2011
Daniel meets us at the door, he has the tight shoulders of all security that work with the Boss but his eyes stop me, he's changed, there's a peace in them that I haven't seen for such a long time and the smile that spreads slowly across his face gives me hope that if the Boss offers him a position in Seattle as he hinted he might, that Daniel will take it. It's been too many years where I have worried about him, knowing what he went through in service, knowing how it debilitated him, how he returned to our ancestral lands to try and find some roots, to grasp onto something when he was feeling so adrift. So adrift that we thought we'd lose him, international calls always a worry for the first few seconds before hearing his voice. Yes, finally I can see my twin returning and somehow I know that the presence of one healing soul has had a big part to play in his positive transformation as she has in all of us.
"They've just started having breakfast, I'll show you through" he says, a gentle smile for my gorgeous Gail before he engulfs her in a hug, security protocol be damned, he knows how important Gail is to me and so she is to him.
Before we can walk fully into the room we both hear it and I watch as Gail's eyes go large. There is the unmistakeable sound of a cloche being removed, then an uncharacteristic clatter of a hastily replaced lid which does nothing to hide the concern evident in Christian's voice.
"Ana baby, are you ok"
And then he's running past us, carrying Ana who upon reaching the bathroom deposits what she had eaten.
"I'll get the doctor here straight away " floats out of the bathroom
"No, I'll be ok, it was just the smell of the bacon, I must have eaten too much yesterday"
They return and on seeing us, Ana comes running to give Gail a hug, the Boss pauses on seeing us in looking at his phone, obviously looking for a doctor and reaches out to shake my hand and then hugs Gail.
"Please excuse me, I need to ring a doctor," he starts to say but Gail holds up her hand.
"Excuse me Mr Grey, before you call the doctor, could I have a word with Ana? I'm sure you can see she is looking better now but I would remove the bacon."
It amuses me no end that Gail and I can see exactly what's going on but the Boss is clueless. Interestingly I look at Daniel who is blocking the door and he gives me an almost imperceptible nod. I know he's not moving and whatever we're about to deal with will be dealt with as a team.
"Ana, you look really well"
"Thank you, I've been eating like a horse, there has been so much new and yummy food and I have been soooo hungry, I've been putting on weight but I can't stand bacon here, it must be different to ours, I've felt sick the last two mornings" and as she says that I see the light go on over the Boss's head as he takes a sharp in breath and looks at Gail.
Pure unadulterated panic flashes through his eyes and a second later Ana's head jerks up and her hands go to her mouth.
Gail to her credit simply puts her hand on his sleeve and hugs Ana tightly to her as she says quietly, "I had my suspicions, I have a test kit in my bag would you like us to leave you alone or stay?"
Ana simply nods her head, no real answer to the questions, her eyes pools of fear and something else and it galvanises the Boss, he's standing in front of her, lifting her into his arms and crushing her close, his hands rubbing gentle circles on her back, his voice soothing in her ear.
Daniel and I both take an awkward step back as Gail opens her bag quietly and hands him the test, without hesitating he heads back towards the bathroom, carrying Ana and shutting the door behind them.
It's a long five minutes that we stand there, Gail holding my hand tightly and each of us hoping that they will both cope with the news and it's an awed looking Christian that walks out of the bathroom. Suddenly he looks like a young unsure man, his arm tightly wrapped around Ana, a confused proud look on his face as he says quietly, "We're going to have a baby."
It's Gail's whoop of joy that has Ana looking up, slowly the look of fear lifts from her face and she looks up at the Boss and whispers in wonder, "We're going to have a baby...oh my." She's still holding the test and holds it out to Gail, "Can you just check, it does say I'm pregnant, yes?"
Gail barely glances at it before throwing her arms around her, "Congratulations both of you, yes you are, what a blessing, both of you young and the house is made for a family."
Gail then continues breaking protocol and hugs the Boss, determined to keep it positive, so that neither of them give in to the panic that was evident at first realisation. Daniel and I then shake his hand and I clap him on the shoulder while saying quietly and surprising even myself, quite proudly. "Welcome to the club Sir, we are all here as needed, for both of you," and as he nods, "We'll leave you to celebrate and Daniel and I will plan the next few days, I'm assuming food choices will change and plans may need to be a little more fluid, please let us know any concerns and we'll include them in planning. From experience Sir, extra snacks in the first trimester are wise."
With that we withdraw to the security room next door and hope that what has transpired so far continues, that neither has a delayed negative reaction as I haven't considered all contingencies and once again I'm amazed at how observant Gail is and I squeeze her hand saying mock accusingly, "You knew, you minx, you just wouldn't say," and at her blush, I laugh and kiss her. I wish Gail could have been a mother but it can't happen for us however I know she'll be able to assist Ana which given their connection will be a very close consolation.
Gail's half whispered "I did have my suspicions and I've been dreading when he worked it out, hopefully it will be ok,… they seemed to be ok, I just hope there isn't a delayed reaction." and then she squeezes my arm and says, "It's so exciting, it'll be beautiful to have a young baby in the house but can you imagine how paranoid he's going to be now about Ana and the baby?"
Yep, I have a feeling that life is about to get very interesting, I wonder at the over control, the fallout, the minor relaxation as a consequence and then the tighter controls, he's predictable in terms of his security concerns but everything else ... Who knows, we're strapping ourselves into the roller coaster and see where and how shook up we end up..
.
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Christian's POV
Ana is pregnant, what am I going to do? I'm not equipped to be a dad... What if I'm like the crack whore and am a horrible parent? I can't believe this is happening, how did it happen? Ana's pregnant. I'm going to be a dad. OMG Ana's pregnant, this wasn't supposed to happen so quickly, I wanted to travel, do things, exciting things with Ana by ourselves, do all the things I like to do with her just her, not with a kid in tow. O. M. G. Ana. Is. Pregnant. How is Ana's pelvis going to cope with a pregnancy. OMG how is Ana going to cope with a pregnancy. Wake up to yourself man, this is not about you, this is about Ana, look at her, look at the panic in her eyes. She cannot be scared, she cannot run, she is my life. What she said to me the night I proposed is etched in my mind and I promised, I promised her that I would be there for her. That starts now, shit I'm scared but nothing like her and I can to this. I can do this, all her life Ana has had to do the hard stuff by herself but no more. This won't be easy for either of us but Ana will never know support like now.
All that flashed through my mind between the moment that Gail's words flicked the switch in my brain and I saw the panic in Ana's eyes, I held Ana cuddled tight while we waited for the lines to appear, she was so stressed that she didn't even notice that I was in the bathroom with her, normally she demands that I am out of earshot. That 5 minutes were among the longest of my life and honestly, I didn't know whether I wanted it to be positive or negative but in that 5 minutes, holding Ana close, feeling her heartbeat thumping until she calmed and our hearts beat in rhythm again, I came to the realisation that I didn't care either way, I was simply going to be there for Ana, my resources will ensure she has all the external support she needs, I will provide whatever she needs from me and baby will be ok... Yep, baby will be ok. Me, I don't know, but baby will be ok.
I know, plans, I can make plans I can organise, it's what I do and do well, I will hire Daniel, he can be home security at the Sound while Taylor stays as my CPO, Daniel will be baby's CPO, Sawyer will stay as Ana's although I may need a female CPO so that Ana can go into female areas fully protected. OMG any child of ours will be such a kidnap risk and unknowingly I squeeze Ana tighter and she squeaks then says sadly, "I'm sorry, this wasn't part of your plans for the future" and I stop her quickly.
"Baby. My plans for the future just three months ago were soulless empty plans, you came into my life and everything turned on its head. I didn't believe I was loved or able to love, I never thought about children, everything was an attempt to prove to myself that I wasn't useless, that I would never end up a frightened hungry boy ever again and having achieved that, I hoped that I might save some others from that same fate. Now that you have opened my eyes and I have seen how mom and the rest of my family loved me despite all my difficulties and I can see that they are there for me and always will be and I think of Ray and you, mostly you. You managed to survive, you were resourceful, you have kept a light in your soul through the worst experiences and I know, you will be the most beautiful, caring, nurturing mother imaginable" and I hold up my hand to halt her dissent. "No, hear me out, I am not putting pressure on you to be those things, I've just watched you exist, and in your existence, you have brought the best out in me, out of everyone around you. Baby, you are a nurturer and when you need help, every damn cent of my resources will be at your disposal and you will use the money because while I know your reticence at me spending on you, nothing will stop me keeping you and any babies of ours safe. "
"Babies?" She squeaks and I'm glad that it's with a small half smile, "Umm, let's see how we go getting through this one first before we start talking about others" and as I pull her in tight she continues "Although I do want more than one as it would be nice for baby to have a sibling, it's not nice being an only child." And I know we're both thinking how much easier it would have been for her to have had someone to share things with over the years although, knowing her, she would have had to look after them too.
"Yes, babies" I reiterate, "You will make beautiful babies because you are the most beautiful woman in the world," and I tilt her head up and show her how I love her, slowly, tenderly, there must never be a shadow of doubt in her mind about my love and what I'd do for her.
"But now, we have to meet your Italian family, your Nonna will be here in less than 30 mins and we're still not dressed" and then something that Taylor said comes back to me, food choices, what about food choices? I know I need to make sure that not only does Ana eat but she needs to eat nutritiously but his words implied something else and I decide that I will discuss this with him at the earliest opportunity, once again I'm grateful that Taylor and Gail are on staff, I have a feeling that they are going to be invaluable especially Gail as support for Ana and hopefully Taylor if I go insane and become overbearing in my panic, yes, I'm starting to understand Ana's opinion of my mode of operation.
As we walk into our bedroom Ana turns towards me and silently hugs me and again I hold her tight, understanding her need for reassurance, hoping she continues to do so when feeling overwhelmed instead of pulling away to deal with it by herself and I'm enjoying the hug when her stomach lets off an almighty roar and she starts giggling, looking down at her I have to laugh and say, "We'll pack some snacks for the 5 minute walk then shall we? There will be no more hiding when you're hungry now," and then I realise that in all the excitement we actually hadn't eaten our breakfast. "I'll order some more breakfast and you can have some before we go, quick get dressed" I say and she pulls me closer, not letting me go.
"No, I want to cuddle, remember we are going to an Italian family who will be doing their usual over feeding welcoming routine and I'll look rude if I don't actually eat anything and little Christian in here will have to wait."
I concede her points and while I don't like the argument I do like her cuddles and then chuckle as I say "You've decided "it" is a little Christian?"
"It has to be, he's introduced himself demanding I eat and eat and eat, no wonder I've been eating like a horse and oh, that's why I was crying in Pompeii...and... A little girl baby would make you insane ... She'll have you wrapped around her finger so hopefully it's a boy with your.."
And I don't wait to hear, the panic is riding in me, exactly if it's a girl and looks like Ana, I am doomed, I won't want to let her out of my sight and how will I cope when boys try to date her...
"Woah Christian. Where did you go, come back to me" I hear through the fog, looking down I see Ana's eyes looking into mine, full of concern.
"Dating...," I gasp out and Ana laughs.
"Oh my, hmmmm, parenting is going to be an interesting experience for us isn't it?!" And she squeezes me harder, my chin resting on her head, we stand there for a second, letting our love just be.
She slips out of the dressing gown and I kneel at her feet, kissing her still completely flat tummy, marvelling at the miracle inside and then reach up to include those delectable orbs that I will soon have to share and for once do not feel a twinge of jealousy, just a flood of love, "Come on, let's do this... Together we'll figure it out."