Chapter 8 : Home
First of all, I'd like to thank you for the favs/follows/reviews. Especially for the review of you, the other french girl (or boy who knows). You wrote about Paris and its terrorist attacks that happened on the 13th. I hope you and your family are fine, even if you live in another city of France. Anyway, you were right about the word. Maybe some of you also thought the title would be «home». I've been working on this since last weeks and I hope you'll enjoy it.
Tell me if you have any ideas about the next chapter which we'll be with the «i» letter.
Reviews make me happy in a world that doesn't.
All my love from France, noa.
It had been a long day, and when Kensi understood that she had to stay late to finish some paperwork, related to a crucial case, she wanted to cry and then fall asleep on her desk. Maybe both at the same time. She felt extremely tired and the big amount of files on her desk didn't help the feeling. But it was her job and she was happy to help people when she had the chance because she really loved her work. As if it was made for her.
She might have been that exhausted because of her nightly activities with Deeks for the past few weeks. Clearly no complains here. She loved the fact that, finally, they were as close as she wanted them to be. It took them so many years to get there but it was more enjoyable than ever. And the fact that she knew he felt the same about their relationship, was fantastic ! They were, for once, both happy and all she wanted to do was enjoy this feeling because it might not last forever.
Everyone had left the bullpen except her and that was boring. She prefered to be on the streets or even do undercover cases because paperwork felt like a nightmare. And the fact that her partner wasn't there to make stupid jokes and comments about how her desk was messy was even more horrible. She wanted to finish it super quick in order to go to Deeks' apartment for the night. More like for the weeks but who cared ? Surely not her.
When she went through the door, Kensi wanted to fall asleep and wake up a week or two after. But she saw some take-out from Yummy Yummy Heart Attack on the table and a Deeks on the couch, picking a movie. Monty was on the carpet, sleeping like a baby. She couldn't help but smile a little bit at that vision of a nice night with him. That was all she wanted. She sat beside him, in silence, and put her head on his shoulder. She still had her jacket on but the tiredness hit her so much that she was so lazy to do it.
"Hey. You okay ?" Deeks asked, strongly hugging her. "You finished your work after all. It took you forever to do it."
She could hear his laugh and grinned too. "Not funny. You could have waited for me 'cause I was all alone there." Kensi frowned and looked at him.
"And wait for four more hours ? No thanks. But I did bought food for the night because I assumed you would stay." Hope was a better word than assumed, but he didn't want to say it because he feared she would escape as soon as he would confess his feelings for her.
"Super great opportunity to watch Titanic by the way."
He looked up, smiling, and drew her to him in the couch.
"Another choice would have surprised me !" he kissed her cheek, laughing, and started to eat beside her.
For the first time Deeks was really into the movie and doing good comments about it, she couldn't focus. She couldn't focus on her favorite movie or on Deeks' hand on her thigh. She just thought about how her life looked and what put her here. She thought about what she had been through since college was over, her father died, Jack left her one morning, NCIS had started, Dom was murdered and so many traumatic events in her life that made her stronger. Good stuff also happened to her because she was able to count on people for the first time in her life. She knew she had Sam and Callen who will always be there to support her, same for Nell and Eric obviously. The big change was Deeks. He'll be there, by her side, for everything in her life. Good and bad. He would never judge her because she was the only one who could truly understand him. They were alike because of their crappy childhood and their strength. Having something to rely on terrified her too. What if she lost everything ? What if they would decide to drop her and move on with their lifes ? But in the same time, even though everybody could agree that she didn't had an easy start in life now, everything was okay. Her friends and mom were okay so she was too. She didn't had the choice.
She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice Deeks had stopped the movie and was looking at her. He hugged her tightly and got closer to her ear.
"Kens. You're sure everything's fine ?" Deeks said in an undertone. He started to worry about her. A part of him wanted her to say what was going because she had the tendency to close on herself and remain quiet for days; but the other wanted her to take her time, order her own thoughts in peace and then come to him.
She stared at him, realising that no sound were coming from the movie since nearly two minutes and that he was deeply looking at her in concern. She nodded in silence and tried to smile.
"I'm fine, I was just thinking about old memories. Don't worry about it. And yes, before you say it, I know I can talk to you whenever I want."
Deeks made a bad attempt at smiling and opened his mouth to respond: "It's all I wanted to know for now." He put the movie back and continued to watch it as if nothing happened. He knew it was the best thing to do at that moment. He just needed to give her some space, not push her.
She started to think again. Thinking about how delighted she was to have him. Either as a friend or as a lover. Both were fine with her as long as she had him in her life.
And then, she realised something.
She had find her home. All of this felt like home to her and God, she loved it.
She put her head on the crook of his neck and took his hand, to watch the end of the movie. Although she knew it by heart.
Kensi let out a soft "Thank you." against his skin.
He nodded slowly, still watching the TV screen but you could see a smile on his face. She was starting to open up more to him. Finally. Maybe they could go past their bad communication skills.