You are now the blushing idiot, aka Karkat. You avoid eye contact, or contact for that matter, with the douchebag next to you. You honestly wished he hadn't shown you his eyes, that way your face wouldn't be burning. His eyes were a bright ruby red, you had not expected this. It should be a simple reaction, like they weren't anything new or special, rather than being lost in them. You hadn't anticipated for you heart to falter its beat, to become flushed from head to toe, to be lost in the red.

After he said- told you to not try a stunt like that again, a silence was presented between you both. He was generous enough to ask if you were ready to go back to the campsite, you said you were.

You lied.

You're never ready to face the others, not in this life, not in this body, not in this tormented mind. Ever since you all turned thirteen, you lost the ability to be able to be on the same page as everyone else. Hell, you're probably in an entire different book now.

You've long since accepted that you'd never be like them again. You'd stay as the freakish outlier. Out of everyone, even Kankri and the Signless, you are different. You don't why, nor do you want see why. It'll only hurt you more, but maybe you deserve to be hurt.

Even though Dave has red eyes, he's still one of them. Hell, they wouldn't care about his red eyes. John and Jade wouldn't give two shits about his red eyes – they'd most likely think they're cool – and Rose would probably pry on how he feels about his eyes – she might already now about them though. He's human no matter what, and they accept for everything he is.

You, on the other hand, don't have as understanding 'friends' – you're practically a stranger to them. They look at you like you're a dog that needs to be put down, you can somewhat agree with them. Kanaya at least has the tried to continue the friendship between you two, but give it a few more months and she'll be silent like the rest. And you can only blame yourself for it.

You're bloody nineteen years old, and you still have to look forward to more years because you failed to end your life here. Maybe if you just jump out of the car, you can make back to the bridge and finish what you started. Although, Dave will be able to catch – curse he's flash stepping skills.

You keep your eyes trained out the window, and you don't need to look at him to know he's continually glancing at you. You have no idea what he's looking for, he might not either. You're nothing but a fraud, the real you stopped showing his self a long time ago. It'll be nearly impossible to find him and bring him back.

Maybe if you try, though, you won't need to act.

~.: :.~

Once you're both back, some others are already awake. Dirk, Bro – the striders are 'early birds' – Jade, Feferi, Sollux – you doubt he actually slept – Kankri and Cronus – Kankri makes Cronus get up early - and Kanaya and Rose. Hopefully, none of the noticed you and Dave showing up together, let alone having been gone. No one really acknowledges it, so it seems that they didn't.

It's quiet and no one really seems to be doing anything, so you head back to your camp site. You find that Signless is awake as well, since he isn't there. He must be with Disciple, they aren't matesprits in this universe being they've met other people, but they are morails.

So it's just you in the pretty large camper – that is until Dave enters as well. You had vaguely noticed he was following you. You are pretty irritated by that, he's seems to not care though.

"You don't need to follow me, you know."

"I know, but I've got nothing else to do."

"Why don't you go bother someone else, like Rose, or wake up John and 'hang' with him?"

"Well, Rose is busy talking about erotic wizard fan-fiction with Kanaya – isn't she more of a rainbow drinker kind of gal? Anyway, I do not want to get caught up in that shit. And John is the deepest sleeper I know, not even a hurricane could wake him up. It's a good thing too, because he is not nice to be around when he doesn't get his beauty sleep."

"So, there's no else you can bother?"

"Nope."

"Bullshit," You growl. You both know he can go bother or hang with somewhere else. And you both know the he is going to stay no matter what. Might as well give up now. "Whatever."

You sit down on the couch, grabbing your laptop which sat next to you and turned it on. You already have a romcom waiting to be watched, and there nothing much to do when there's no internet here. Dave's still standing there, watching you. You're not sure if he really is looking at you with his shades hiding his eyes, yet you still feel uncomfortable. Maybe if you just ignored him-

"Are you seriously going to pretend that none of that had happened?" He asks you with a somewhat annoyed tone.

You look up from your screen, and think for a moment before you say, "Pretty much."

His face contorts, "Karkat," he begins, and you really don't want to have this conversation again. "Keeping all this hidden and basically isolating yourself from everyone is not healthy nor will it help you. You don't have to tell anyone that you tried to kill yourself, but you could at least to someone how you are feeling, like Kanaya or me. Or Rose, since she's basically a therapist in training."

"Or we just forget about this and just carry on. I don't have time for this."

"I think we both you know you have plenty of time, and this isn't something you can simply forget about. And knowing you, Karkat, you won't forget about it, you'll just put this on that list that you made of reasons why you are pathetic – which you are not." He says in one swift motion, and takes a deep breath once he's finished.

Your lips turn into a frown, because you know he's right, and you're immediately regretting ever having let him get this close to you. He knows you way too well – you're fairly easy to read by anyone, actually – so you're bound to lose this argument. This doesn't stop you from trying.

"So? It's not like it really fucking matters. Since when has anything that involves Karkat Vantas matter? I'm just another sad low-life that is impossible for everyone to deal with. Now, leave me alone." You growl, fangs clearly showing.

He looks at you with a frighteningly angry face, you know that this isn't good. He steps and grabs your wrist and begins pulling off the couch. "What?" You don't have time to finish you sentence before he's pulled you out of the camper, and starts taking you out of the campsite, you stumble along. He grabs your sickles which are set next a picnic table, and grabs his sword as he passes his camper. You both end up in a somewhat open area by the time he lets go of you and hands you your sickles. He moves ahead of you several steps before he stops and turns to face you.

You finally ask, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? We are going to strife."

Sorry for any grammar mistakes or if the chapters are too short for you.

-klmj