"Yep that's it! An intervention...who is with me?" Fin asks the small group, but his eyes never leave the lawyer...
They all nod their assent, none of them able to stomach another stilted, chemistry-less, awkward, goodbye like the one they had just been forced to witness...
Again it is the DA that Fin concentrates on, "And we're all willing to brave Liv's anger!?"
Again, the small assembly nod...it is after all, in her best interest...
"You willing to do what it takes Barba?" he asks the final question of the lawyer alone...
"Put it this way, if she ever considered marrying the Tucker Fucker, I'd marry her myself!" Barba huffs...
"Good enough!" Fin exclaims...unlike the other two, he's not surprised, he's noticed that Barba doesn't only lust after Liv...sure, he never misses an opportunity to watch her, or touch her...but there's more there...and Fin's got a plan!
"Liv!" Fin roars as he tips his chair back on two legs, "Liv!"
The others are slightly shocked at the man's brazen-ness, but Fin has been her friend for so long, he has half a chance of living through this madness...
The Lieutenant appears in her office door, pulling her glasses off, as she faces the small group...
"Jesus! Fin! What's the problem?" Liv asks...
"Fuck Liv, you're getting grumpier by the day!" he counters at her, "You clearly need to get laid!"
As Fin says this, Barba, Rollins and Carisi are starting to have second thoughts...Liv looks like she may go nuclear any second...
"What? Fin!" she rumbles angrily...looking about ready to rip his head off.
"So, can the Tucker Fucker get it up?" Fin persists...
"Excuse me?" Liv bellows... "My personal life is none of your business Fin! None of any of your business..." she adds for the whole group...
"Yeah well, things have gone too far! You're like my sister Liv...and much as I don't wanna think of you getting fucked by anyone, the Tucker Fucker has got to go..." Fin tells her
Liv can only look at him slack jawed...Fin was never shy, he often commented, usually negatively, on her boyfriends, but this is an all new level, of kick-in-the-face- blunt...
"We're your friends, and we're staging an intervention!" he announces calmly...continuing where he left off...
Barba seems to find some 'cajones', all of a sudden... "It's too grotesque Liv...you are way too good for him"
Amanda and Carisi nod, unable to speak for the shock...but it is them that Liv turns her ire towards...
"You two?! You two are judging me? How long have you two been banging away?"
Amanda loses her cool too..."I'm not fucking Carisi! But anyone would be better than Tucker!"
She looks to the cop beside her, "No offence Carisi!"
He shrugs his shoulders...
"And at least Carisi wouldn't have to pull the stick out of his ass to have something to fuck you with, like Tucker does...!" Amanda shouts back...
Fin does a double take, making a mental note to come back to that later...shaking it off quickly, for now...
"What is it Liv? What the fuck has you with the Rat-King?" he asks her...
"He's a nice man! Fin, you have never given him a chance!" Liv tries...
"Jesus Liv! So that means you talk to him at the coffee machine, or in the elevator, you don't take him home to bed!" Barba yells...
Olivia glares at him, her anger simmering visibly...
The lawyer steps right up to her, "Does he make you cum? Does he fuck you until you are satisfied? Does he tell you how you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen?" his voice drops even lower, his eyes not leaving hers, "Does he put your sexual needs ahead of his own?...because that is the very least you deserve!"
Now, it is Olivia who is rendered mute...
"You are way too gorgeous to be with Tucker, Liv" Fin adds...
"I'm a 50 year old single mother, to a boisterous toddler, running a busy squad..." Liv starts to explain...
"Yeah which you nearly lost because of Tucker..." Fin announces...
"And what kind of fool is not shouting from the rooftops, that he's with you? Instead the secret he's keeping nearly gets you thrown out of SVU..." Barba comments...
"Yeah, but you were the one who told 1PP...!" Liv hisses...
"I did...and I was right! It may have saved your career, that they found out from me, that I told them you declared the relationship...so be pissy with me if that makes you happier! But ditch the Tucker Fucker...!" Barba moans
"A woman in my position has to be realistic about her potential partners..." Liv taunts..."There's no one else banging down my door! I hadn't even really been on a date since Cassidy..."
"Great! Another prime example of your appalling taste in men! Do tell more..." The lawyer bemoans, rolling his eyes...
"Barba! You can't talk! When was the last time you had a girlfriend? Or the last time you got laid?" Olivia roars back, trying to turn the conversation back on the man standing toe to toe with her, as always...both of them beginning to forget their shocked audience...
"Too long!" he shouts back, "But I'm not willing to lower my standards...my squad, my friends aren't holding an intervention, to break me up from yet another, totally inappropriate dalliance!"
"Dalliance? Another inappropriate dalliance? Who the fuck do you think you are Barba? I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be so quick to pass comment on other people not being able to get it up!"
"So, he can't get it up?" Barba confirms gleefully...
"I never said that!" a flustered Liv tries to recover...
"Yes you did!" Barba yells right in her face... "The Tucker Fucker can't even get it up!"
"I wouldn't take such glee in it, if I were you...when's the last time you were able to get it up?" she asks, allowing her eye to roam down his body for emphasis...
"You don't think I can get it up? Trust me, getting it up is no problem...!"
He grabs her hand, dragging it down to his crotch before she can pull away..."See?" he says triumphantly, the word trailing off to a strangled groan as her hand, under his direction, brushes against his developing erection...
Her mouth drops open, as she steps back quickly, pulling her hand away...
Fin doesn't even bother to conceal his evaluating glance...
"Well, I can tell you from here, that Barba doesn't seem to have a problem getting it up!" Fin chuckles...
Carisi's eyes immediately move down, assessing the hardness tenting Barba's perfectly tailored trousers...
Amanda rolls her eyes, in disgust, but can't resist a quick glance too...
As always, Fin doesn't stop...when there is further he could go... "See! We reckon you got confused by Tucker being a huge dick...it doesn't mean he has a huge dick"...
Even though the comment was recycled from earlier, it gets a chuckle...maybe the chuckle has more to do with the clearly, large protuberance, in Barba's pants...
"Barba has no problem getting hard...and does seem to have quite a large dick..." Fin leaves the last words hanging in the air...
"Ditch the Tucker Fucker!" Barba entreats softly... "Ditch him, and let me show you how you should be fucked..."
His voice is husky and throaty...his arousal clear, in more than just his pants...
"So you think one orgasm is gonna hold me over for life?" Liv tries to add breezily...
"Your standards are that low?" Barba asks quickly... "It should never be, only one orgasm? Christ, has the Tucker Fucker not even got fingers? Or a tongue?"
"Liv, what have you been doing with that man?" Amanda asks shocked...swallowing deeply, at Barba's impressive show...
Shooting Rollins a look that could kill, Liv looks back to Barba...
"So what? I'm supposed to fall at your feet? My underwear at my ankles?" she asks icily, sarcasm dripping off each word..."Not going to happen...!"
Her voice isn't quite as confident as her words though, she is struggling...the man in front of her, has always affected her...he has always been a subject of desire for her...but she can not, will not, allow everyone to know how much she wants to do exactly as she has just refused to...
The Tucker Fucker, as they have all started calling him, was a mistake...she even figured that out, not long after the first dates...but it wasn't like she had any other options...she was, as she told these people, a 50 year old woman with a demanding job and home life...Ed was good to her...He accepted that she had a toddler at home and what often feels like, a bunch of kids, to control at work...Sure he doesn't make her insides melt...but she's too old for to still be believing in, and craving that rubbish anyways!
She won't admit it now, but Ed was a disappointment to her in the bedroom...the guys assertion that he couldn't get it up, wasn't that far from the truth...But that's something a lot of guys struggle with as they get older, isn't it? He would start to harden as they kissed...playing with each other...and when she would take him into her mouth, his manhood would slowly come to life...sure he wasn't huge, but size isn't everything...
He wasn't particularly skilled at foreplay, his touches slightly awkward, his dislike for stimulating her, barely concealed, as he went through the motions...rubbing her, with little dexterity, expertise, or interest...until she pulled him away, signaling that she was ready for him...It was then that the real problems started, he could never hold the erection they had worked for, long enough to even begin to satisfy her...
She felt like it was her fault...like she didn't appeal to him enough, like she wasn't attractive enough...
And then once his erection shrank away, they both pulled apart, frustrated, embarrassed and humiliated...
She is battling to keep her mind from launching another of the fantasies that are the only thing that have kept her from going crazy...it has been so long, too long, since she has been really sexually satisfied, by anything other than her own hand or a toy...and even then, the orgasms she has brought herself, feel much more like appetizers, than the main course...something to tide her over...rather than truly satisfy her appetite...
She won't be the one to back down now though!
But as she stands toe to toe with the man who has featured so prominently in many of her fantasies...it is hard not to allow her mind to wander...
She can't pretend she has never looked at him before, so she is not surprised that he seems...large...but...
"hmmmmmmmm"
"What was that Liv? He asks smirking slightly...
"Are you still waiting for me to fall at your feet?" she repeats, recovering quickly...
"No!" he responds confidently... "I've wasted too much time already...I'll gladly fall at your feet! And, I'd much rather take off your underwear in my own time..." he raises his eyebrow questioningly...
It takes everything she has, to not jump him right there, as she feels her entire body respond to him...
"Liv" Fin interjects, reminding her that the whole squad is still there...watching... "C'mon! You have to admit that dating the Rat-King was a mistake...there's no chemistry there!?"
"Even if that were true, Fin, I wouldn't cheat on him..." Liv mutters...
Fin's whole face lights up with this step forward...
"No Liv...you wouldn't...so tell him it's all over...Here borrow my phone!...And sex-orcise his ghost!"
Her mouth falls open... "Sex-orcise?"
Fin nods back at her.
"Yep! Exorcise the ghosts of an ex, with sex...a 'Fucks-orcism' if you will..."
Olivia looks around the room, as none of the other detectives seem surprised by this idea...
"It works..." Amanda says wistfully... thinking back to when she fell into bed with her baby-daddy...she had been pining for Nick ...for him and for the great sex they used to have...and God! Did Murphy know how to make her forget him?!
"It's not like there's no chemistry between you and Barba anyway..." Carisi says, earning a dagger look from Liv...
"We all thought that there was something going on between you and Barba, until we learned about Tucker anyway..." Amanda says as further reason why she should stop fighting it...
Liv is beginning to consider doing exactly what she refused to...as Barba continues to stand before her, the bulge in his pants almost touching her...
God! He is hot...for someone who is always so buttoned up, she thinks there is a wild man hiding in the shadows...hints of him sneaking out in the way he throws the buttoned up suit aside at every opportunity, stripping off the jacket, the tie, opening his vest...just like he has done now...
As appealing as he is in his beautiful suits, he is just pure sex, when he is undone like this...and that's without the obvious swelling of his erection reaching towards her...
She can't be the one to fold though...
She needs him, to be the one to give...
Just like in all those squabbles with him, she so loves, there has to be some give in him too...
"C'mon Liv..." Barba growls, "Let me exorcise the Tucker demons?"
He takes a small step forward, his feet either side of Liv's right foot...his erection nestled against her hip...his hand, just above, on her waist...
Despite all her resolve, she finds her body moves without any input from her brain...her hips roll into him...
It has been so long...too long...
His hands reach up to her face, cupping it gently...as he leans forward...his lips meeting hers...his tongue pressing against her lips until she allows him in...
His tongue stroking hers makes her think of how else he could use that tongue on her... 'he has always been so good with that mouth...how could he not be skilled?...' she asks herself...
A/N So quick Q...how many people are running, desperately freaked out, to wash their eyes, in the hopes they can forget my madness? or how many of you would be quite happy to imagine and read about a sexy Barba?
Thank you so much to BenoightLangson for the follow and favourite, to CharlieGrace for the follow, to MCervera for the follow and favourite and MrsChilton for the follow and favourite.
Guest: Thank you for the review...it was slight madness but it made me laugh...hope it continues to make you laugh...
MrsChilton: Thanks...I'm evil but it really needed out of my head...
BenoightLangson; Well i've already admitted to my Barson love, but I'm guessing you prefer Liv and Hank? I can kindda see that...if the idea of Barba freaks you out you could imagine someone else, but I think Tucker is actually worse than Daddy Dodds! Not by much admittedly but...yuck! Thanks for encouraging my madness! Hope I've not upset you too much with the turn...