She is only beginning to wake up...and already she can feel...a dull ache between her legs...
'It was real!' she thinks gleefully...reaching down, to feel her wetness immediately coat her fingers...
'Oh yes!' she thinks, as she pulls her way out of slumber...already planning on a second round...maybe even a third...immediately confused to find herself in her bed, and not on the couch in her office with Rafael...
'But I can feel something...' she reminds herself, when logic tries to deny her memory...her fingers grazing her clit...
She sinks back into the pillow as she realizes she is wet because of the dream...and the ache she can feel between her thighs is her unsatisfied need...
"Fuck!" she says out loud! Her frustration taunting her mercilessly...
The dream is getting progressively more detailed, more involved, every time...the voices of her friends harder to ignore...
And why is Rafael always the one to...?
"Uhhhhh" she groans, dragging herself upright...
"Did you say something to me?" A voice says walking into the bedroom...
"Ehm no...sorry Ed..." she answers, forcing herself to smile...not bothering to hide her pebbled nipples, or the clear arousal between her legs... Ed won't notice it anyway...
"Just must have slept awkwardly..." she tells him, pulling down the shirt that has ridden up her body while she slept...
As she drags herself out of bed, heading towards the shower...she swallows another sigh, trying to deny her intense, sexual desire..."I'm gonna take a long, hot, shower...try and release these tense muscles..."
He just nods at her, telling her he'll probably be gone by the time she's done...walking over and kissing her forehead as you would kiss a child...
The sexless, passionless, kiss somehow, further reminds her body of what it craves, the ache between her legs deepening...
She steps under the steaming spray, her hands instinctively, immediately wandering her body...
Needing to calm the demands of her body ...she looks around the small bathroom, wishing she had more than just her fingers to salve her need for some sort of carnal release...She can't help thinking of the small stash of toys she has in the bedroom, bemoaning how Noah and Ed's presence, has left her very careful about where she hides them...
She can't help noticing the reminder of how different it was with previous boyfriends...how they would happily encourage her to enjoy her own body...how they would sometimes, plead to be allowed to watch her...how they would derive pleasure from just watching her climax...how they would incorporate the toys, once discovered, into their sex lives...how sometimes they would surprise her with a new present...or their imaginative use of what they she already had, in her own personal arsenal...
She has already tried to persuade Tucker to wrap some of her sex toys into their bedroom play...showing him a little bullet, a clit vibrator, that no man could ever feel intimidated by...telling him how it 'could help speed up getting her turned on', carefully making it sound like the time it took her to be ready for him, was their difficulty...She had also shown him a small, slim, vibrating dildo, shyly suggesting she would enjoy him using it on her, while she took him in her mouth...but those, and any other similar suggestions, were quickly dismissed by the man, with a look that made her feel like a perverted, nymphomaniac.
She hates that his obvious disapproval has made her feel embarrassed and self conscious of her desires...
When she hears the front door shut, she turns off the shower quickly. There is still time before Noah wakes up...
She throws a dry towel on her bed...and lays down, pulling her favorite vibrator from the back of the drawer she hides it in ...
She looks at it carefully, trying not laugh as she imagines the expression on Tucker's face if he saw this... it is big and thick, with a large fake silicone mushroom head and a delicious little protrusion that stimulates her clit...This is a toy to intimidate even a well endowed and skilled lover...
She tries really hard not to allow her mind to query how many times she has thought of her ADA, while she happily writhed on this toy? Pushing away the comparison between dream Barba and the toy...desperately fighting, not to imagine, how the real man would compare?...
The thought has her squeezing her thighs together...
"I have to stop this! Rafael Barba is not interested in me! I'm an adult, I need to stop fantasizing about a man who goes after everything he wants with such single-minded determination, but has barely opened the door of friendship to me..."
But once more, her body reminds her of how neglected it has been...
'This is ridiculous!' she tells herself, spreading her legs wide as she starts to masturbate... 'the guy I'm seeing, has barely left my bed, and I'm lying here, fantasizing about the dream version of a colleague, trying to make myself cum, just so I can get set for the day...'
She quickly pushes the thought from her head, she has barely touched herself and she is so ready for more...She teases herself quickly, rubbing the fake dick up and down her folds, as Barba had done in her dream; wondering if the man would be as assertive, and as skilled, in reality, as his confident and brazen, dreamy alter ego.
God, but dream Barba is so sexy, so hot...such a plausible extrapolation of his true character...if she ever managed to bed him, she is sure that it would be explosive...
Softly moaning, she slowly thrusts the thick toy inside herself...all the time, battling the longing that it really was Rafael pushing into her, just like she had momentarily allowed herself to believe he had...
When the dildo is inside her, and the clit stimulator lies against its intended target, she turns it on...allowing all thoughts to fade away as she relaxes...the long overlooked, pleasure centres of her body, immediately, buzzing to life...
It doesn't take long before her body is clutching tightly to the silicone wand...craving release...and then as her orgasm hits, she has to turn the strong vibration off, the muscles of her body continuing to move the tool inside her...
She falls back onto the pillow before she even removes the toy...luxuriating in the sensations...
It's enough to hold her over, but it's just not the same...she misses 'real sex'...and 'real orgasms'...
It's not even just the sex...it's just not...none of it is...
"Huhhhhhh" she sighs out loud, pulling the toy out... "I guess my subconscious may be trying to tell me something...I really need to get laid...and maybe it's time for Tucker to go?"
A/N The end...I almost feel bad for poor Tucker now...ok, I lied! Thanks for sticking with my madness...
BenoightLangson: I agree! The scenes with Daddy Dodds do have some chemistry...and we have been sorely deprived of Barba and Benson interaction in the last season! I know they have had a lot of arguments but they like to stand up to each other! I'm really evil but I cant abide Tuckson! I don't mind the character of Tucker but not as a boyfriend for Liv! I'd love to see him go, but I'm a bit worried about how low the writers could go to find her next appalling choice of man...
Rossi's Lil Devil: If only that exorcised the Tucker craziness! Sorry, It's not deliberately four chapters, it just fell that way...lucky for us all, the anti tuckson rant that is this story, was curtailed!
JenH: I'm glad it made you laugh...Gold star for you! And go to the top of the class! It was indeed a dream! Which is why I was able to get away with amp-ing up Barba and Liv...Nah there's no real, direct interaction between them in this story...but I am thinking about it now...;)