'Clary I'm so sorry. I wish you would just run but your too selfless and... and I'm so, so sorry!' She was crying now. my palm just raised as if to touch her cheek, it stayed suspended as I hesitated, throat clenching as I tried to say something. 'I'm so sorry Clary. So sorry.'
'Maryse? Maryse, Its not your fault. I just drew the short straw I guess...!' trying for a smile, a pathetic one but still a smile, I reached forward and touched the cheek of the only mother figure I've ever known. 'Your the one who should go but you stay by me. God knows I don't deserve it.' I drew my hand back to my lap and let her clean and dress the cut on my cheek.
When I got up, putting my hand on the arm I pushed myself up only to fall back down gasping, tears filling my eyes. 'Clary? Clary what's wrong?'
'M-my H-hand!' I gasped out. 'My h-hand!' eyes wide I stared at the thing that will make the next few days living hell. 'Maryse, I-I... what's she going to do to me?' I Questioned fear fully.
'I don't know Clarissa. I really don't know.' Her voice wavered. It never breaks like that. Never.
The next day I woke with a fuzzy head to my mother shouting.
'CLARISSA!' I groaned when I tried to move. Stomach clenching in pain as the previous nights memories overcame my fog clouded mind. 'I mean it Clarissa! Get your lazy good-for-nothing arse out of bed, you lazy shit!' Getting out of bed and gasped. My ribs were on fire. they were burning inside. gasping breaths I slowly stood up and staggered over to the rose wood wardrobe with my good hand clutching at my waist.
I heard a loud slam of my door being flung open, I knew it wasn't my mother shed be too busy kissing up to Rafael's farther. Maryse rushed over to me and supported my weight so I could manage to get to the chair. How did I know this? She never lets me do too much if I'm hurt. Always trying to save me but I cannot be saved any more then my brother could. My mother when ever I asked why she didn't love me would always say, 'To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed.' That is if she didn't beet me for insolence.
After I got ready, which was do-able since I've done it in worst conditions before, I went downstairs. Reaching the oak doors Maryse ushered me outside into the sun.
'Clarissa! At last.' My mother said tightly, lips pulled into an expression worthy of being lemons. 'We were just talking about your wedding plans.'
Plans? 'What plans Mother?' I questioned, breathing uneven. panic obscuring my vison.
'you are to marry the day after your birthday. On Friday!.'
'to who mother?' I asked through clenched teeth.
'Raphael'
With that the bubble I built around my heart, burst. a sense of betrayal over came me. I didn't think even my mother could stoop that low.
I collapsed. Damaged hand holding back on itself with a large sound not unlike a gun being fired. I didn't feel it.
'To love is to destroy. To be loved is to be the one destroyed.'