~Chapter12~

Secrets Revealed

BPOV

"Jake, I have to go. Please, just keep our secret. It hurts bad enough thinking about it, talking about it is even worse. It's not something that Edward needs to be bothered with. I love you Jake, but I'm not in love with you. Things happen for a reason and maybe that's why I miscarried, it wasn't the right time." I was shaking and my arm was sore from Jake's grip.

Jake was shaking and about the color of a tomato when I told him that things happen for a reason.

"Bella have you completely lost your fucking mind!!! You're saying that you miscarried because it wasn't the right time in your life and that I wasn't good enough to be the father of our child!!! You are a heartless bitch, Bella Swan!!! If you don't tell Edward, I will and I mean tonight, this is crazy he needs to know that you are tainted Isabella! You deserve every bad thing that comes crashing down on you!" Jacob was screaming.

He let go of my arm, I grabbed my purse and ran out the door.

I heard Jake at the top of the stairs "Bella, I'm sorry, I was just upset, I love you Always!!!"

I was sobbing as I ran outside and got into my car.

I drove to Edwards house, knowing I'd have to tell him everything now.

Where do I start? What if this effects our relationship…

I was doomed…

EPOV

Where the hell is Bella, it's been 30 minutes since I called her and what was Jake doing answering her phone.

Maybe she went to tell him about the engagement, so he didn't have to hear about it second hand.

That made since. I would give her 10 more minutes before calling her again.

I walked onto my porch to begin pacing and waiting for Bella.

About 5 minutes later she pulled up.

I could tell she was upset.

I ran to the car to meet her and grab her in a hug to let her know everything was going to be o.k.

"Bella, what's the matter love?" I asked.

"Edward we need to go inside and have a talk, I've got to clear up some things for you. Lots has happened since you were gone and it wouldn't be right for me to keep these secrets from you." Bella shivered.

I led her inside and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around her.

"Bella love, whatever it is, you can tell me, I will hold nothing against you! I swear. Just tell me, I want to know. I want no secrets between us, please!" I begged her with my voice as well as my eyes.

"Nothing? You'll hold Nothing against me??? Please remember after I tell you this, that you're the one who said 'nothing' ." she pleaded with her eyes.

I shook my head, yes.

"O.K., last year, before Jake and I went to NY on our anniversary, things were going quite well. Jake was promoted to head coach, I was head of the English department and I thought things couldn't get any better.

Then, I got horribly sick, I missed a week of work and so I finally went to the doctors and they told me it wasn't the stomach flu, in fact it wasn't a flu at all, I was pregnant." I stopped to look at his reaction.

I was stunned. She had a child and didn't tell me. How could she agree to marry me and not let me know she had a child. "What the hell were you thinking Bella? Not telling me you have a child? How would that have worked out when we got married? Oh, um, sorry Edward this is my love child with Jake, I forgot to tell you, I hope you're O.K. with it!" I spat and got up from the couch. I was running my hand through my hair and pacing.

"Edward STOP! I'm not finished. You said NOTHING, remember???" her brown eyes pleaded with me and I knew I was being an ass.

I sat down next to her and put her head on my chest and kissed the top of her head, she continued.

"Anyway, things were going along good, I was 6 weeks and only our fathers knew, we didn't want anyone knowing until we were 100% out of the first trimester. Billy and Charlie were so happy for us.

Jake and I were happier than we'd ever been, I was on cloud nine, until one night in the tub, it hit me.

I was pregnant, with JACOB'S baby, not yours. I broke down and cried, I went into a major depression.

It was Spring Break, so I had all week to sulk, I stayed at my place and since Jake was busy coaching, he never knew how miserable I was. I would take long baths and rub my stomach, singing my lullaby to the baby. Then as I was getting out one night, I slipped and fell. I landed on my stomach and busted my head on the side of the tub, knocking me unconscious.

Jake came home from practice to find me covered in blood, called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital.

I told them any doctor but your dad, even though he was the best, I couldn't face him, I was ashamed.

I felt like I'd betrayed you." I was holding my stomach crying.

"Shhh, it's o.k. love" I said kissing her head. She was sobbing into my chest.

She sat up and continued.

"Dr. Day came into the room and looked over everything, gave me an exam, the entire time Jake was there, holding my hand and crying. Then he gave us the news 'I'm sorry, you lost too much blood when you fell, you were alone and bleeding for quite a while and I'm sorry, you lost the baby.' I started crying and went into shock. Jacob stormed out and I didn't see him for days, I had to go through the whole removal process by myself, he never showed. That's when I knew our relationship was over. It never went back to the same, for me at least. Jake kept asking me if everything was O.K. and I'd lie and say yes. I was miserable though.

I went and found a therapist who helped me work through everything. It took months, but I was doing better. I still go to therapy once a month now, so I don't blame myself anymore and I know that things happen for a reason. Even though you feel like shit at the time and I still think about the little one I lost, I know that something better is going to come." I stopped and turned to look at him.

I embraced her and kissed her the most passion filled kiss that I could, I needed to let her know that this was the right thing and that we would have it all. I would never hurt her again. I would never leave her in a time of need.

"Bella love, I am here for you and nothing, I mean nothing is going to tear us apart, ever again!

I love you and you are my forever. Please believe me!" I pleaded with her.

"Edward, I love you so much. I'm so glad you understand and still want me damaged and tainted!" Bella cried.

"Isabella Marie Swan! You are not tainted or damaged! Do Not ever say that again! You are perfection to me and I will be here for you no matter what!" I held her face in my hands.

" I have a confession of my own Bella" I looked into her eyes.

She looked at me with such affection and nodded her head for me to continue.

"Well, I have never been with anyone Bella, anyone I kept holding out for the day I came back to you and you were mine again. I threw myself into my work so I didn't think about it. I dated several girls/women and never felt any attraction to them. They smelled wrong and looked wrong, I couldn't ever get you out of my head. I drove Alice crazy, always asking for updates, she always told me you and Jake were happy, so I stayed away. Until one day I knew I couldn't stay away any longer. I love you and I had to make you mine, again." I put my finger under her chin to kiss her, she turned away and ran out the door.

"Bella, Bella where are you going? I need you, please don't go." I cried.

I finally caught up to her before she got in the car and held her in my arms. She was sobbing again.

"Edward, how can you want me after all this time and with all that I've done. Find yourself someone else, someone who's pure like you, not tainted like me." she was crying.

"Love, I only want you! You're not tainted, you are pure. It will be our first time together. Please, stay with me tonight, I want to have you, I have to have you, I need to make you mine 100% and to show you that I will never, ever take you fro granted. Please Bella! I'm begging you." I pleaded with her.

"Yes" and she collapsed into my arms.

I scooped her up and carried her inside.

I took her to the bedroom, laid her on the bed and gently kissed her.

She let her passion for me come on full, she wrapped her fingers in my hair and pulled me closer to her.

This was the kiss I'd always wanted. It was full of love and understanding and forever.

I never wanted to let her go.

I held her tightly to me as we kissed and enjoyed each other all night long.

I started with her shirt, and as I unbuttoned each button, I laid a kiss on her chest and stomach.

When I finished with her shirt, she flipped me over and did the same to me, but she kept coming up and nibbling on my ears, I kept letting out growls of enjoyment, she was driving me crazy!

When she finished with my shirt, I started back a her neck and worked my way down to the tops of her jeans. As I unbuttoned them I did the same as with her shirt. I slowly slid them off and kissed up and down each thigh.

This progressed back and forth for almost and hour. I was so turned on, I didn't think I'd be able to contain myself, seeing as though I'd never done this before. I was proud of the self control I was having.

"Bella, love, I don't think I can hold out much longer, but I don't want our first time to be in a rush, let me excuse myself and I'll be back on a flash." I whispered.

"Shhhh", she held her small finger up to my lips.

She kissed her way down to my throbbing member and went down on me, I was happy, elated and so in love at that moment, I didn't want it to end.

She looked up at me as she wrapped her mouth around me and went up and down and licked the tip.

She would smile really big when she got back to the top and flick the head with her tongue, sending shivers throughout my body and groans of enjoyment.

She continued for awhile, all the while I grew harder and throbbed more and more, when I realized how close I was, I let her know. She just smiled and went faster and faster, until I came, she tool it all in and collapsed on my stomach, as shivers and electric shocks went throughout me.

I pulled her up to me to kiss her and hold her.

We stayed like that for a while, no talking, just our heartbeats and breathing.

I ran my fingers through her hair and she traced circles on my stomach.

I was the happiest man in the world.

My Bella and Me!

About 20 minutes later, she sat on top of me and started kissing me and rubbing her hands on my chest, round 2!

"Are you ready big boy?" Bella asked in the sexiest voice I'd ever heard.

I shook my head yes!

She wanted to lead and I couldn't deny her that.

We had the most wonderful night of lovemaking ever (well, my first time), but after we were done, she informed me that it was the best ever for her as well.

She was happy that I paid attention to her needs as well.

She led the first go round, I led the second about 45 minutes later.

I started kissing at her forehead and worked my way down to her belly.

As I kissed her stomach, my one hand fondled her breast and my other slowing into her folds.

She was hot and wet, just like I'd always imagined.

I slowly inserted 2 fingers inside and pushed them in and up, I hit the spot immediately.

She arched her back and screamed "Oh, Edward!" It made we want to go harder and faster, I then started kissing her thighs and working my way to her center, I put my hands on her hips and gabbed her tightly.

I plunged my tongue inside her, fast and hard, I liked and nibbled on her clit and she squirmed in delight.

She told me she was about to come, so I kept going, hard and faster, licking her and teasing her until her sweet juices overflowed.

I slowly kissed my way back up to her, both of us panting and shivering.

I asked her if she like to go shower and she informed me only if I was going to join her.

So we went into my state of the art surround shower with mood light and made love in the shower.

When we were done, we dried quickly and went back to bed, she crawled in and placed her damp hair on my chest, making me shiver for a minute.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her and breathed in her smell (I'd bought strawberry shampoo for her).

She was delicious.

"Love?" I whispered.

"Yes?" she replied.

"I'm starving, we never ate dinner and I'm completely famished, you wore me out!" I said.

A/N: Hope you're enjoying this so far…

I'll update soon!!! Review Please…

I OWN NOTHING!!!

ALL BELONGS TO MOTHER NATURE!!!