((This is not a DeiSaku fic))

Thankfully, his head had cleared.

Deidara was strange. He could handle having his arms ripped off, and he stared death in the face on a daily basis without a flinch - but being tied and gagged had caused him a to have his very first full-on panic attack! Crazy. He decided to put his loss of composure mostly down to losing huge amounts of blood.

But certainly every one of these guys would have to die, for seeing him that way. It was the only answer. If no one saw it, then it didn't happen, yeah...it made perfect sense to him.

"Ten minutes."

Gai set Deidara down against a tree. The leaf guys wanted to stop running and eat. Deidara's hair fell to it's usual place in front of his eyes, obscuring his face. He watched them through it, how long since he had eaten now? Not since before the extraction of Shukaku began, three? No - it was now four days ago. The longest he'd previously gone without food had been about five days; he could probably push it beyond that but it was already gnawing at him and further depleting his chakra. Deidara usually had excellent chakra control, and ordinarily he'd expect it to be increasing as he was rested - but for some reason it was at it's lowest ebb. A bad day, indeed.

If he'd still had his hands, they would've been hungry too right now for some clay. The feeling was even more satisfying than eating food. As soon as he had his hands back, he'd overload them with clay until the sky was filled with deadly white creations, proving his power... he smiled.

He was lost in thought when Neji stepped over to him. He was holding something small in his hands; Deidara regarded him warily. "What is it, hm?" His gag had loosened, falling down to rest around his neck a while ago. They hadn't bothered to refasten it as he'd quietened down, and he preferred it that way.

"Food." said Neiji.

Hm. Were they playing with him, torturing him with the idea of food? They'd love it if he admitted that he was hungry, wouldn't they?

"Do you want to eat this?" Neji reworded, seeing his animosity. He unwrapped the thing he had.

Interesting, it seemed they were going to feed him after all - not smart of them as it would help him regain strength. He wouldn't have done it.

"Can't you get one those girls to feed me?" Deidara sneered. "Or maybe both of them?" While still annoying, it would feel somehow less embarrassing to be hand-fed by a girl; that sort of thing was a woman's work anyway. His masculinity was kind of taking a hit, with being tied up like this...

"No." Neji was not a big conversationist.

No sense of humour at all, not even a reaction. (So boring. Neji was clearly one of those cold Itachi types.) Deidara was actually starving, but he lower himself to ask his enemies for anything.

Neji sighed and just held low it in reach of Deidaras face. It was some rice thing.

Deidara knew that it wasn't poisoned. They could have killed him at any time while they had him captive like this. He looked over at the others, they weren't looking...in fact they were all busy watching Gai have some sort of frantic eating-race - with himself. Every now and then Gai would look glance at Kakashi ; who was eating slowly, and then he would elevate his speed - a mad glint in his eye. Eyebrows screamed "TRAIIIIIINING!" and followed his lead.

Leaf-nin were nuts. (Itachi was from the leaf village, this must be why he was like that.) Though, admittedly the irony of Gai's one man race was quite funny. It would be annoying to be in a team with a guy so wacky and lacking composure, though. It would ruin the image. He imagined having a crazy partner... he'd probably strangle him - with his legs, if necessary.

Turning his attention back to the food...Fine. Why not. Deidara began eating. He ate slowly, like he didn't care, although he was so ravenous he could have downed the thing quicker than Gai.

He wondered for the hundredth time if he try should try and trick these guys into feeding him some clay...yeah, like they'd let him touch clay, they'd seen his jutsu and they knew that he'd used clay to do it. Who had his ammo now? Looking over, he saw that Sakura was now wearing it, strapped alongside her medical-bag, there was a tiny amount...hmm.

It was infuriating, being so dependant. But by comparison, nothing - NOTHING - could be more humiliating than earlier when Kakashi had had to pull down his pants so that he could take a discrete pee in the bushes. At least he hadn't been forced to ask for them for that favour, either. Kakashi and Gai just assumed that it was about time he needed to, took him away from the rest the group and the whole thing had transpired without a single word uttered from any of them, thank FUCK. They probably just had years of experience escorting captives.

This was EXACTLY why Akatsuki just knocked prisoners out as a general rule.

(Well, it was probably one of the reasons why. It had to be. Surely.)

Deidara realised that these guys were being very reasonable with him. It was sort of sickening. They weren't just being non-hostile, they were...

It was one thing to bring him back to Konoha alive, but they could have still have easily caused him a lot of pain without killing him. They could have vented their anger on him the whole way back, in fact, but they didn't. It made sense they didn't want him damaged, but they were so gentle about it. They even gave him food without making him beg or plead... how come they did that? What did they gain from it?

Deidara and Sasori had not done the same for their captives - they were basically cargo. He didn't give them a moment's thought; like that Gaara, he had just been a piece of dead weight furniture, and even before he was a corpse - why would the jinchuuriki have needed any care, what was the point when he was going to die anyway!

A chill passed through Deidara...as far as these guys were concerned, he was going to die anyway. So that made it even stranger. It reminded him of the twisted stuff what Itachi was capable of - all the while being so polite.

It would be interrogation and then death. Or, an interrogation and a long imprisonment, and then death?

It wouldn't happen. He just needed an opportunity, that was all...

They were packing away again, already. Sakura knelt beside him to roll up his sleeve, checking on his arm.

His pouch. She had his pouch! There was a chance that she was easy, from the way she'd been so nervous about touching him earlier. He would have to test.

"Hey, Sakura," he smiled.

She seemed taken aback at his use of her name... "um, Yes?" She looked at him in the familiar way most girls did, when he spoke to them.

Girls, women. Not the ones fought as opponents, but the ones he saw at food stalls, or lodges, or wherever. it always happened.

"People often give you free things." Sasori had commented, when it was still only Deidaras's first week.

They'd been deep in conversation about nature of beauty, having wildly different ideas about what it meant, how long it should last, how long it could last...

So Deidara found it strange for Sasori to completely change the subject.

The serving women were giggling like kids and apparently four of them needed to come over at once, just to stick some complimentary bottles saki on the table. Sasori didn't care if he had it. With all they did, underage drinking was basically nothing and they had some time off. Deidara changed his mind, spat it out- it would only dull his senses. Sasori himself didn't drink or eat anything; kept saying he 'did not find food necessary' (It had been too early for Deidara to understand exactly what the deal was with him yet.)

"Hmm?" The free stuff...He wondered why Sasori had said 'you,' not 'us'.

"Its because they know who we are, and admire our work Sasori Danna." The staff were still watching. Even then, Deidara had to admit the more obvious reason, " and yeah, because of this", he tugged at his black Akatsuki coat sleeve. "They know we could RUIN them!" he slammed a hand on the table, enthused, disturbing his hat which he had put aside earlier. The red clouds on his coat spoke a thousand words. Though he'd been reluctant at first, Deidara was loving being in the organisation; the exclusivity, the cool image they cut in their uniforms. The leader had praised him for his first success, there was no one else with his skill set, his art.

"There is always that."

When they left, Sasori paid anyway. He had this old fashioned insistence on observing fees for services received even if they were located in a town specifically to wreck it later and kill, like, the entire population. The women backed away, Sasori's scorpion tail alarmed most people, especially when he turned around suddenly or bent close.

Sasori brought it up again, after they left. "But I assume you would get attention like that, before you were with us?"

"hmm.. Yeah, actually." Well, recently. It had become pretty normal around when he'd turned fourteen. He'd stopped thinking about it. "I'm known most places I go for my great works of art, un."

"You are extremely naive."

"I'm not naive Danna!"

Sasori then explained why the women were so friendly, and Deidara was pretty disappointed that it might not be because they were fans of his art. He went straight back to give them a full demonstration of his art, to make sure they knew exactly who he was and what he could do.

"The restraints on my legs; kinda tight. Insanely tight even. Loosen them for me? You're the medic here, right? You know best, un."
Sakura actually blushed. Too easy, seriously she was pathetic. Was she the type who spent all her time thinking about guys instead of concentrating on her skills? No one could become a master at their art with a divided mind. This should work in his favour, though.

"What do you take me for!" she huffed, finished looking at his arm, dropping his sleeve. "Seriously!"

She was annoyed. Deidara made sure the others weren't looking and tried harder.

"But they really are too tight... Sakura."

Her look softened completely at that. "I'll look, but I won't loosen them."

Yes.

She knelt over his ankles and brought her face downward to look.

He'd have to be quick, Deidara estimated he would only have a second to act after he began, as the other bastards would come running. He still felt too weak, but...

Deidara launched his tied-feet up hard, as hard as he could, under Sakura's well-meaning jaw, BANG!

"Ahh!" she fell backwards, startled. He threw himself forward with all the strength he could gather (pfft, these guys had underestimated him, not tying him to the tree! If he were them, he'd have totally tied him to the tree.) He pulled up the cover of the pouch with his teeth, trying to take a bite of the clay inside. Nearly...

Sakura rolled aside suddenly, and the pouch went with her...

A hand grabbed a fist-full of the back of his collar, while another grabbed his hair, preventing him from moving. Deidara wanted to scream with rage, he'd been so close! He growled loudly in frustration and banged the ground with his knee since he couldn't hit it with his fist; had a tantrum right there. Ow, ow, he was even making his wounded body ache with his own rage.

"Nice try."

Deidara strained to look behind him, it was Kakashi, of course it was Kakashi.

Sakura sat up, wiping at her bloody mouth and glaring at him as Eyebrows and Naruto ran to her side. Her eyes looked hurt. Did she feel a little betrayed since he had flattered her first? But seriously, you deserved a good kick in the teeth for that kind of stupidity.

"What happened?" asked TenTen, appearing next to Sakura.

"I ...I was just checking his restraints, I might have leaned in too close..."

"God Sakura that was dumb, why'd you do that?"

"It is not Sakura-sans fault! He must have tricked her..."

"I'm getting sick of this guy Kakashi!" cried Naruto, "When are we gonna get rid of him?" He turned on Deidara,"What is your problem? She's just trying to look after you, she doesn't need to, but she's doing it! Aren't you a little grateful? Akatsuki scum!"

For some reason what the brat was saying really annoyed Deidara. He was already feeling angry and confused by all the 'helping' from them, and listening to their stupid group politics. He turned on Naruto "What's my problem?! Are you insane?" He growled, "Do you really think I owe you guys anything, just 'cause you didn't kill me? Yeah you got lucky, that's all, un, our positions should be the other way around...only I'm not so stupid, so you'd all be DEAD!"

"What the hell? You bastard!" roared Naruto. What a hot head this kid was! "Pretending to be all weak and co-operating earlier!" Naruto wildly pointed his arm into the woods...if he meant it as a reference to where they had come from earlier, he was pointing the wrong way. Idiot.

Deidara had been genuinely weak earlier, was still weak now in fact; but if any of them thought that it was an act, than that was all the better.

He laughed.

"ARRGH! Gai-sensei, gag him again!"

"Naruto, silence," said Kakashi, "I'm getting tired of the both of you, two hot-heads going at it. You keep prompting him. I'm tempted to gag you both."

"And it's not respectful..." said Gai, looking over at Gaara. Gai meant that it was not respectful for everyone to bicker like this, in the wake of their Sand-buddies death. Pfft. Like Deidara cared about that kind of thing, that guy was his bench earlier!

A calm voice broke in. "Were we not supposed to leave a while ago? It was a ten minute break, but we have now been here for twenty." Neji had watched the tense argument silently up until this point, but now it was important to remind everyone to be boring and efficient.

"Let's go," Said Gai. "We can reach the Sand village soon." He leaned in to speak to Deidara," and you won't have anymore opportunities like that."

"And Sakura," said Kakashi, "be more aware next time." He did not continue, she seemed embarrassed enough by her mistake already.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura, rubbing her jaw. It seemed she still had all her teeth, was his kick that weak? But it was not like close combat was his specialism.

They set out. That excursion had been almost interesting, well, easily more interesting than having to stare down at Gai's backside as he was balanced over his shoulder for hours on end...

Deidara sighed as he was lifted up again.

For the jinchuuriki to be extracted and the biju to go on living afterward was unheard of.

Deidara felt a little put out, all his hard work defeating that guy, he thought he'd destroyed him. This was backward, like if one of his exploding sculptures were to come back together again, it made no sense. He watched the old lady, Chiyo, begin to perform her strange backward-art on Gaara...she was giving her own life energy, becoming part of it. So she meant to die? Art perfected by death...that was art in it's highest form. He had to respect that. He watched quietly.

But these guys were so sentimental. The old lady's death had been something truly impressive but it wasn't anything to cry about. Naruto was hugging a dazed looking Gaara, who didn't seem to recognise any of them yet. Probably death made you groggy? The others gathered around joyously, Deidara decided he definitely did not understand them. It was a stupid display, even Neji was smiling, creepy. Lee was jubilant, and Naruto - maybe Naruto Gaaras boyfriend? Seriously. Get a room.

"We are quite near the Sand village now," said Gai. Deidara tensed at this, remembering the reputation on the Sand village prison, remembering the anger he had stoked in the city. No.

"As planned, Kakashi and I will stay back with this one - they want him badly in there. You can all go on ahead with Gaara."

So, they didn't mean to take him to the Sand village then?

Kakashi stooped over him and starting removing his coat.

"What now? She just looked at my arm, hm." Deidara was annoyed. Why didn't they even warn him when they were about to do that? Just started pulling aside his clothes whenever. It was disconcerting and making him even more edgy.

"If anyone from the Sand sees you with us, even from a distance, they'll want to arrest you immediately - which would be a problem for us, because we've already arrested you." Kakashi lowered his voice, "and you are better of with us than with them, trust me."

Yeah yeah, Deidara had already thought all about that. Well it did make sense. He gave a hmph of affirmation and helped to shrug his coat off. Kakashi took his forehead-protector too, packing everything away. Without his distinctive Akatsuki uniform, no one from the Sand should recognise him. Deidara had been flying so high above the city - too far away for anyone to have made out his face.

"People are coming already!" cried Tenten, excited, pointing toward the city. She had been wearing Deidara's scope for a while now, and he'd been trying very hard not to notice. She waved to them. Ugh. He had never, ever, used his scope to wave at people...

"Tenten, give that to me". Gai took the scope and looked through it. "They are coming to meet us here, then." He handed the scope to Kakashi who put it away with the other things.

Gai spoke to the group, "We don't want to lie to our friends, but we need to keep him. The Sand may feel they have more of a right to him as he attacked their village - so, to avoid trouble, don't tell them who he is." He looked pointedly here at Naruto.

Deidara suspected that Gai's patronising explanation had been mostly for the benefit of Naruto...

"Yeah don't worry, I won't tell." Naruto was grinning ear to ear and wiping tears and snot from his face (he had literally cried a river when Gaara was restored). "He's OURS. We caught him." Deidara looked forward to the day when Akatsuki caught up with the little brat, that would wipe the smug grin off his face...

The small crowd of Sand-nin reached them. There were about ten Sand-Jonin and...he recognised one of them as the jinchurriki's brother! That puppeteer-nin that had tried to chase him so desperately, and he'd left to Sasori to finish him off. He looked different with an unpainted face, but Deidara recognised him all the same.

Hey, so, this meant that Sasori couldn't even finish off an old lady, a little girl, or this guy who should have been his speciality; and ALL of them had come back to torment him! He had thought this 'lesser' puppet guy was dead! Sasori had actually told him he'd finished him too! Ugh, the guy looked pale and walked in an injured way, (a little feverish too maybe?) - it seemed that Sasori had only poisoned him and left the job half done. Sasori Danna, why...

He supposed the sister with the fan, Temari? Was the one hugging the dazed Gaara right now, but the brother, would Kankuro recognise him? He had been wearing his hat before, but...Deidara remembered how he couldn't resist turning back to smirk at him, allowing the tassels to fall aside, before skipping victoriously up onto his bird creation and making away with the dying brother. He remembered meeting those furious eyes, narrowed with hate; hilarious back then, but not so much now the situation had changed...

Deidara shrank back a bit. He still hadn't been noticed yet.

The sand-nin all jubilant about their Kazekage's return, they crowded around Gaara, thanked the leaf-nin, and were sad about the old ladies death and full of questions. They seemed already very familiar with eachother - Deidara knew they were allies, but hadn't known the leaf and sand villages were SO friendly...he guessed there was more to it than he knew. Anyway, he hoped it would be over soon. Stop celebrating and piss off already.

"Kakashi, we can't thank you enough," one of the Sand Jonin - an elder - was saying to him. "Our Kazeka- is this boy alright?" The old jonin had noticed Deidara kneeling there, trying to keep a low profile, somehow, behind Kakashi. "We can help with your wounded, it's the least we could do." He was focusing on Deidara's exposed, bandaged arms with a look of concern. But then, the jonin's eyes moved down to his bound legs - "A prisoner?"

"Ah.. a low-tier rouge ninja who attacked us on the road," said Kakashi, a little too quickly, pulling an explanation out of his ass. Then he seemed to remember that there were no roads in this desert, or in the wilderness for miles around...

Deidara wanted to roll his eyes. Didn't think about how to explain that one in advance, did you bastard?

Kakashi continued anyway, "He has only a very small bounty on his head - nothing notable; and we have a medical-specialist travelling with us, so thankyou, but we don't need assistance."

Not a just a small bounty, but a 'very' small bounty - great unnecessary detail, very funny. Almost as funny as his reaction when Deidara would blow him up eventually...

But the jonin stared at Deidara with even greater scrutiny, looking him up and down as if he could not completely accept what Kakashi was telling him. It was a shit explanation - was he figuring it out? People would know that the Akatsuki member that had fought Gaara, had lost at least one arm...!

"Gai," Kakashi spoke casually, "we will need to set off, shortly." Kakashi wanted out of here, before Deidara's unusually severe condition caused too much interest.

"I'll gather the group," replied Gai, aware of the situation.

But this sand guy wasn't finished. He frowned and stepped closer to Deidara. Deidara couldn't really do anything but look back at him. Try to NOT to look like Akatsuki, try to look harmless and unspectacular...

"Very serious disfigurements to inflict on a young one - of no notable bounty"- the old guy was actually chiding Kakashi - he was disgusted, not suspicious! "What on earth did he do to a group with your calibre - Hatake and Gai - that warranted destroying both of his arms?"

And then he knelt next to Deidara, (like - he actually knelt, he was that concerned) "Which village did you defect from, boy?"

Oh hell. Okay no way was he saying anything. Deidara just looked to Kakashi. Get this old man talking about something else!

"I asked you. Look at me, don't be afraid."

This old guy thought he could rescue him from something bad. Yeah, if only. And Deidara wasn't afraid - why the fuck would he think that? Did he look afraid?

And Kakashi seemed a little flustered, which was amusing. While Deidara was offended at being spoken of as if he required pity, it was satisfying to see Kakashi squirm.

"Kakashi, this is unusual. What are you hiding? Is he from our village?" The old guy suspected that he was Sand property.

"No. He is not one of yours. I'm sorry for not being more open." Kakashi spoke sympathetically."They are very serious injuries, I can completely understand your concern - and I'm happy to explain everything. First of all, he is older than he looks..."

(Just how young did everyone fucking think he looked!)

"...and as for those wounds," Kakashi appeared to have a brain wave, "well, there was this very angry bear in the area, and unluckily for him-"

"YOU!"

A sharp yell interrupted Kakashi. It was Kankuro.

Kankuro had risen from his position kneeling next to Gaara, and his sweaty unpainted face was a picture of absolute rage. "You bastard! Deidara, Deidara..." Kankuro was saying his name to himself like mantra, "It's you, I recognise your face! You're the one, the Akatsuki who attacked our village! The one who took Gaara away!"

Shit.

Kankuro's windpipes had not been weakened, that was obvious. He stalked towards him, slightly off-balance. Temari was rising now too, and the Sand-Jonin's all had their eyes on him. Deidara could do nothing but sit where he was; what would happen? Would they kill him right here? A bad way to go, tied up on the ground. Kakashi stayed in front of him as Kankuro reached them.

"Move," said Kankuro, not taking his eyes off of Deidara.

Kakashi stayed as he was.

There was a change in the wind - it picked up a little, throwing the sand around. Coincidence? The Sand guys started looking at eachother, detecting a possible serious conflict of interests.

"What does this mean, Kakashi?" Kankuro's rough voice was low, dangerous. "You were about to tell us that you had this guy with you, right? You weren't trying to disguise him, or hide him from us?...because, if you were..." Despite his injuries, Kankuro reached out and grabbed a fist-full of Kakashi's vest, threateningly.

Kakashi remained relaxed. Gai made a move to stand beside him - and was stopped when Kakashi gave him with the slightest of nods. Kakashi put up his hands diplomatically. "Let's talk-"

"Kankuro-san, Kakashi was just telling me that this boy was a low-tier rougue that his team apphrehended." It was that Sand-jonin, who had been asking if he was injured. He was looking at Deidara in a completely different way now, realising who he was.

"Hey, Kankuro, I know what he did to you guys, but he's ours!" It was Naruto, talking about him like a thing he owned. "Do you even know what we went through to get him?" Naruto didn't seem angry, but perplexed. Seemed he didn't want to argue with Kankuro at all.

"But why haven't you killed him?" Kankuro glared down at Deidara, seething, if not for Kakashi standing between them, Deidara knew that Kankuro would have lunged at him already. "He's one of Akatsuki! Why isn't he dead?!" Kankuro whined with frustration and suddenly pulled out a kunai, his eyes flashing.

"Kankuro!" cautioned Temari, warning in her voice. "These are our friends - remember what they have done for us."

"Aren't you angry Temari?!" he snapped at her.

"I'm furious. But you are still a little delirious from that venom - remember that we have Gaara back, and they have this guy contained, so there's nothing to lose from taking a few minutes to discuss matters, hm?"

Kankuro seemed to gather himself, but he spoke in an extremely strained manner, "We do have Gaara back..." He looked back at his brother - still processing that he was restored and alive now. "Alright." He lowered his kunai, and released his hold on Kakashi's vest. "In recognition of our friendship and alliance with your village, if you give this Akatsuki terrorist to us now, we will forget that you tried to deceive us of his presence here."

"We can't do that." said Kakashi, "Yes, this is Deidara of Akatsuki, and we know what he has done. But the reason he is alive, is because he can give us crucial information about the organisation - you should know this. The Leaf have their own ways of extracting information from prisoners - and so, we are taking him with us to Konoha."

"But you are on Sand territory!" Kankuro exploded again, he pointed at Deidara, "You are harbouring our most wanted criminal, you cannot leave our borders with him now!"

"Kankuro, as long as the Akatsuki is someone's prisoner, it shouldn't matter." Temari put a hand on Kankuro's shoulder. "The top priority, I think we can agree, is making sure that he stays captive?"

Kankuro seemed to be relenting to her - she was clearly the more authoritative of the two. Temari respected that Kankuro was angry and had let him vent - but she would be the one calling the shots.

Temari bowed respectfully to the leaf-nin. " Kakashi, Gai. Thankyou again for returning our brother. We are so thankful, and we owe you a great debt. We are all allies here, and this strengthens the bond between our villages; but,"

No way!

"I can see your point, I really can - but in this case I must agree with Kankuro."

Very bad. This was very bad - Deidara tried not react.

"It is simply more logical that you give him to us, as our prison is closer." She waved her hand towards the Sand village; the high surrounding cliffs were easily visible. "He could escape from you or be rescued by his organisation on your journey home. Now, you know you can't promise me that it won't happen."

"Temari," it was Naruto, "Shouldn't Gaara be the one who decides what happens in the Sand anyway?" he's pressed on,"He is the Kazekage right? You can't make decisions over him..."

"He's not recovered fully enough to talk about this yet." She looked back at Gaara, he was still being supported by the Jonin where he sat on the ground. It seemed that he was not aware of the commotion... "My brother and I will make the decisions in his stead. And I'm sorry Naruto, but I think that Gaara would fully agree with us when I say," she raised her voice , "we absolutely cannot allow you to leave with that Akatsuki !"

"He is safer with us. You failed the first time with him." Neji interrupted, everyone was getting in on it, apparently. A slight air of arrogance was detectable in his voice, "He easily infiltrated your walls and defeated your Kazekage on his own ground, but we have been managing him easily as you can see."

That didn't seem to go down well with the sand-jonins. An angry murmur rose up from their side. Thanks, stupid entitled byakugan kid. (Even though he was kinda right).

"Neji, show some respect." Gai warned needed to tread carefully. The tension was growing - the Sand-jonins looked ready to fight, in fact.

Deidara was trying to maintain an uncaring attitude, even though he could feel the sweat running down his face. He would normally relish being the centre of attention, thriving on it - but that was in the sky, not in the dust with everyone else towering above him, talking about him as just something to stake a claim on.

Kakashi spoke again, and the others fell silent. There was some graveness to his tone, this time. "Please. Our village would benefit the most from information he may be able to give. The Akatsuki no longer target your brother, having somehow extracted what they needed, and so he is safe...We wish for Naruto to have a fighting chance against the Akatsuki too. He may not be as lucky as Gaara..."

Fat chance Deidara would be providing anyone intel, but Kakashi's little speech seemed to strike a chord with the sand guys. The brother and sister looked eachother, as if Kakashi's words were significant somehow, as if they warranted a re-considering. Were they reallychanging their minds? For this brat Naruto's sake? Why did they all love the jinchuriki so much ...

"We have to put our village first." There was something apologetic in Temari's voice. "The risk of him escaping and terrorising us again, it simply can't be allowed to happen. Our people need safety, and we need their confidence in us. We are very grateful to you, and we don't wish to fight you but ...Harbouring him we will consider treason! We will use the full force of the Sand village to keep him here if you refuse!"

"Well, that decides it then."Gai looked at Kakashi, "We can't risk a war with the Sand over this; it would be madness."

"Kakashi-sensei, can't anything be done? I know if I could just talk to Gaara about it, well... when he's better I could talk to him...then..." Naruto trailed off.

"Are we really going to hand him over Sensei?" Sakura asked this as if it were not extremely obvious.

"It's decided, Sakura."

It felt like any continued arguing from this point would just make things worse for him. Tenten and Eyebrows were the only smart ones who knew to shut up while their teachers and seniors were speaking, seriously. Deidara would never talk like this over Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetsu or Kisame. (Itachi could fuck himself though.)

Kakashi finally looked down at Deidara, meeting his eyes, and seemed to be speaking to him directly, "We will have to hand him over to them for now...and we'll do it willingly, on the condition that he is kept alive and unharmed until we can make further negotiations with Gaara - when Garaa is able."

"We'll accept those conditions," replied Temari, pleased. Kankuro, silent, threw another murderous glare at Deidara. Earlier, Deidara would have returned that look with a smirk, with dark amusement. But he wasn't feeling so amused right now. Deidara instead set his features hard, he glared back all the same, at all of the sand-jonin, I am not afraid of you.

Temari clicked her fingers and pointed to him. Damn, Temari had a commanding stance. The Leaf group reluctantly stepped aside, away from him, and two of the bigger sand-jonin approached. Deidara did not lean away, but cringed inwardly; he was so tired of being handled this way.

The jonin who were meant to collect him hesitated on either side of him for a brief moment - but it was not from fear.

"A job for one, I guess, " said one.

"I'll do it. What a little lightweight..." With a chuckle, the other bent down behind him. "OK Akatsuki, up we go -" he hooked his arms under Deidara's arm-pits and hauled him up. Ah..! Fuck, that was bad. Deidara managed to stifle a hiss as his torn muscles throbbed around where his arms had been severed. This was why Gai had been lifting him by his lower half.

He had not flinched, but he heard Gai's reaction immediately; "That is unnecessary!"

"He's not resisting," Kakashi told Temari with urgency, "and he's injured."

Deidara saw Temari look toward them as if they were completely out of their fucking minds, and he knew exactly why. Temari's guy had picked him up normally - but apparently that wasn't good enough for Kakashi and Gai who wanted the sand ninja to be gentle, too. The thing was - the leaf guys had caused half his damn injuries, which was pretty contradicting of the request they were now making.

This was weird. Temari was surprised that they protested - while Deidara had just come to expect it of them. Did he know this leaf team better than their own allies?

"Don't worry," she reassured them politely (instead of calling them out as hypocrites or whatever), "We'll respect the deal. He will not come to further harm," She turned to order her sand-jonin and sighed; "Be very mindful of those wounds when you handle him. And I don't want to see another scratch on him; got it?" but it was clear from her voice that it was of no concern to her.

Kankuro gave an audible scoff at the instructions, but he was already walking away.

"Cover him with something," Temari added, "We don't want the people to know that we that have him. They would doubt us for not executing him on-sight."

The jonin holding him readjusted his grip. For a moment, Deidara was able to look back at Kakashi, Gai, and the others; but then a blanket was draped over his head and shoulders. He couldn't see a thing.

He was returning to the Sand village - but this time it would be on the ground, as a prisoner.

OMAKE

Kakashi pulled off Deidara's Akatsuki coat. "If anyone from the Sand recognises you, even from a distance, they'll want to arrest you immeadiately."

Deidara shrugged, that made sense...

"So, we will be disguising you as a GIRL." ^_^

"WHAT."

"Quickly Sakura, switch clothes with him!"

"Yes Sensei!"

"ARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!"

"Everyone, hold him down!" :D

"I'll do his hair like mine!^^" Squealed Tenten.

"NOOOOOOOO!1"

...It was a long and tiresome battle. But in the end, they even shaved his legs. T_T

(Though, Deidara had to admit they felt kinda nice like that.)

And he looked damn fine in Sakura's hot pants.

"YOU!" screamed Kankuro. Deidara's heart stopped...was he recognised?

"You... do you..." Kankuro stammered, blushing. "...wanna...go out with me?"

"Nnn-" Kakashi threw a hand over Deidara's mouth.

"Who? Oh this girl-bandit we found? Sure she would!"

"She'd LOVE to"

"She's just shy!"

"Here, we'll sell her to you -"

Deidara struggled free of Kakashi's hand...

"I'M THAT GUY FROM AKATSUKIIIII!"