Lech groaned in sheer boredom while laying on the couch. "Is there anything on the TV?" He asked he second occupant of the Couch, Gay. He flicked through the channels only to stop at woman modeling a dress, he looked intently. Lech sighed. "Nope." He started to stare at the ceiling.
"You could go outside entertain the humans?" Prozac suggested as he grabbed orange juice from their fridge. Lech groaned in disapproval. "I'd rather stay in here than see those runts." "I thought you would like to hang out with you new Friend." Gay retorted said with a hint of bitterness. Lech didn't catch his tone but Prozac raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his orange juice. "He needs some space after what happened," Gay let a small snort. It sounds like he's in a relationship. he thought. Lech ignored it and rolled his eyes."He seemed really upset after what Evil pulled."
Prozac sighed and looked at outside the cave. The influx of food was good at first there was no denying that, but at the cost of the inhabitants of the zoo? That didn't sit well with him. Not mention he had another problem with their most recent addition. It was clear that he was prone to violence, but it seemed there was more to him than just that.
"Serves him right, stupid simpleton." Vanity interrupted his thoughts. "Vanity!" Prozac crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his brow. He was about to scold vanity but Lech interrupted. "He isn't stupid, he was blackmailed."
Vanity shook his head. "I don't care about that! You don't trust someone who is literally named EVIL!"
He rolled his eyes because he felt that he was stating the obvious. "That doesn't stop him from trying to fit it in. We haven't been welcoming as of late." Death interjected as he sat on the ground.
"Because I'm going to trust a violent brute who picks fights with anyone." Vanity scoffed.
"From what I gathered he only fought to defend himself." Prozac sighed. Lech nodded in agreement.
"Maybe we should try to talking to him before we cast judgment so quickly." Gay said.
"Fat chance that's happening with the bombshell he unloaded." Vanity scowled at Gay and he
returned it. "Considering the commotion you caused when you arrived, his "bomb" is a dud compared yours." He lifted his hands and brought two fingers down. The two began to bicker with each other. Prozac pinched the bridge of his nose. It was too early for this.
Outside the cave Evil laid his head down and rested against a rock. The cave and it's inhabitants could only give him so much entertainment before it became dull. Pranks, Mockery, and general assholery could only go so far. He could barely tolerate those he shared a living space with.
However, the thing he hated the most living there wasn't it's habitats or his unlikely cave mates. If he had a list for his grievances (Which he did.) The highest on the list would be the humans that visit his home. He didn't like the constant attention that the humans gave their exhibit, especially the small ones.
And it would only increase due to their newest arrival resting across from him under a tree.
Evil watched the Black bear as he the stared back at the gawking humans above him.
Get used it you, mook. He thought as placed his hands behind his head. Must be overwhelming for him to see this many fiends as once.
He looked at his face and saw that the bear narrowed their brow as he looked on to the humans. At first he thought it was anger, but this was different. He knew what this bear's anger was like. Cold, and fierce. But those weren't present on the bear's person so to speak. It seemed more contemplative, as if he was thinking about something. Evil rolled eyes and looked away.
The zoo keepers were introducing the new inhabitant of the bear exhibit to the patrons of the zoo. One of them wore a hat and was lanky compared the chubby one. He didn't wear a hat and let his brown hair out to world. He spoke to audience that crowded around him, most of them being children.
"Alright, here we have Ursus Americanus. Better known as the American Black Bear." His tone was stressed to sound more enthusiastic to his audience. The children gasped in curiosity unable to tell the difference in tone. The young bear in the Exhibit ears perked as he heard this bit of information.
"These bears have exceptional hearing. Their ears develop to full size more quickly than the rest of their body. Their hearing is over twice the sensitivity of human hearing." The children continued to gasp in delight. Evil scoffed at this information. The keeper continued.
"Their sense of smell is more than seven times greater than a dog, particularly for food-related scents. They also have short and sharp curved claws for climbing trees to escape predators, find food, sleep and rest." The bear looked as his claws and smiled, he was right about that. He looked at the tree.
Maybe it's time to show off a little. He got up from his spot under the tree and started to climb it using his claws. A child peered over the edge to see the bear on the top of the tree just below him.
"Look he's on top of the tree!"
He shouted in glee as the others looked on in awe. The keeper tried to gain their attention. But it was a futile attempt to gain their attention from the bear was about to do.
He lept from the top of tree and did several flips as he was in the air. As he was about to land he rolled into a ball and tumbled toward Evil. He stopped just in front him and pushed his body up with one hand as he tried to balance himself. The audience clapped in approval as the bear smiled.
Still got it, huh. Evil then nonchalantly swept his hand with his foot, he landed promptly on his face. The children laughed in glee and Evil chuckled at his misfortune.
"Show off." He said as the bear got up and scowled the bear. Evil smiled smugly. However, what caught both of their attention was what the keeper said next.
"They are docile compared to their grizzly bear counterparts and generally flee from humans." The Black Bear ear's perked and his head turned toward the crowd again as he heard. Evil snorted and pointed his finger mockingly at him.
"Ha. Bitch!" The Black Bear wasn't amused but he walked back to the tree on all fours. Not without him pointing his finger out threateningly as he laid back on the tree ready to sleep. One of the children saw this and sighed.
"Come on, we just got here. Do another trick!""They aren't here for that! You want to see that go to the circus." The zoo keeper scolded the child for the comment.
The bears both shivered when they heard that word being uttered, but none of them noticed. Child looked at the bear again as the keeper was distracted with informing the others. He saw a two rocks on the floor and picked them up. He looked at the Black bear and sneered. He threw the rock toward the tree and hit the bear in the head. He growled but remained still. He knew the child wanted a reaction that wasn't happening, yet anyways.
The child threw another and it bounced of his head, he caught it with his paw. Child frowned and quickly went back to paying attention to the keeper. The bear looked up to see both the attacker and the Keeper with their back turned away from the exhibit. A smiled crept on his lips.
One stone and two birds. He flung the stone above the exhibit over to the crowd.
"Alright everyone settle down, anymore questions?" He looked at the audience. No hands were raised except for the child behind him. He didn't notice. The child sighed in frustration. He grunted and made a sound to alert the keeper but he didn't notice. The child crouched down and pick up a pebble to throw at the keeper. Suddenly a rock hit the keeper in the back of his head.
"Ouch, who threw that!" He rubbed his head and turned around to see the child holding a pebble. He scowled at the child. "That's it! Tours over, no more questions." All the children shouted in anger and looked at the child in question. "I didn't throw it! Honest." The keeper wasn't buying it. "And you expect me to believe that came from the exhibit? Bah!" He walked away as the other kids sneered at the kid.
Evil smiled at this bit of misfortune. Not bad. Fighter walkedpast Evil into the cave where the bickering continued.
"Really? Your still going at it?" Fighter sighed. Both Gay and Vanity looked over to the Black bear.
"How did you hear all that?"Gay said.
"Nosy ass." Vanity whispered as Fighter's ear twitched. "Better question how much did you hear?"
"Enough." Fighter said. Vanity placed his hands on his hips and turned his head away avoiding eye contact. "I don't need to explain myself to a simple-minded thug like you." He looked down at Vanity sternly. "I'll take that as compliment from a narrow-minded ass, like you." He grinned smugly.
"Idiot." Vanity scoffed and stormed out the room. Gay gave a satisfied grin on the couch as he watched the panda leave. Lech seeing this slowly backed away from Gay on the couch. Fighter's gaze wondered to the others in the room. Silence...Some things never change.
Lech waved to Fighter. He walked toward the couch. "uh, what's up buddy?"Lech said a bit worry was noticeable in his voice. "Just say your sorry and make up already. This bromance your having is too adorable to pass up." Gay said as he grinned and brushed his palms together.
"Look, I'm S-S- Sorrrrr-" "Don't worry about it." Fighter interrupted placed his paw on his shoulder. Lech and Gay raised their eyebrows dubiously. "You were so torn up about it before and you just forgive him like that?" Gay said dumbfounded.
"Live is to short to hold grudges. Still doesn't mean I fully forgive you though," Fighter he pointed his finger toward Lech "Your still a-hole though." "Fair enough," Lech grabbed the remote of Gay's hand and changed the channel. "How about we watch something fun to get our minds of this drama?" Lech smiled happily. "If this is porn, I'm gone." Gay turned his head and inspected his fingernails. "Hell no!" Lech said as he cocked his head to the side as he felt genuinely insulted.
"Good," Fighter shook his head dismissively. "Friendship's over immediately if that happened." He gave a mirthless laugh. "Glad to know you have standards." Gay chuckled at Lech's expense. "let's just watch something." He flipped through the channels only to stop when he heard an announcement from the TV. "Next: Chainsaw Hunter 5." Lech grinned. "Oh yeah, this my fav horror film!" "Ugh, fine don't have anything better to do." Gay rolled his eyes and watched the screen. Fighter jumped into the couch between them and watched the program with them. But as they were watching the film Evil peeked into the cave grinned sadistically as he sneaked past the three into his den.
Evening had rolled by and the three had made it through half the movie. They shared a bowl of popcorn on the table in front of them as they watched the scene horror film. A group of four of teenagers had just made it back from running from the chainsaw murderer and have sought refuge in a cabin in the woods.
"That's was close!" Said the male wearing a red Letterman jacket.
"I think we lost them." The lanky male.
"We need to find a phone," Said the raven haired teenager that wore glasses.
"We need a weapon." the blonde woman said
"Finally a smart decision!" Gay shouted out. "Granted running into a cabin in the woods from a psycho instead of running to the civilization is beyond me at this point." He rested his chin on his palm and leaned on the couch.
"Not like they had a choice the car broke down and civilization is miles away." Lech retorted munching on popcorn greedily.
Gay shuddered see him gorge himself. "I'd rather die running to civilization then die in the middle of nowhere."
"Quiet. I want to see how this plays out." Fighter said simply.
"Rude. It's obvious they're all gonna die"
"It's possible, but at least they're formulating a plan,"
"Best not get your hopes up.." Lech interrupted.
"Ok. let's split up, search the grounds." The lanky one said. Lech chuckled
"God, They're soooo dead." Fighter placed his hand on his forehead.
Gay looked at the male wearing the Letterman jacket "No surprise here. Although I'd wouldn't be caught dead wearing that train-wreck either. "
Evil slowly creeped with bag he was carrying in the hallway. He pulled out a hockey mask and a chainsaw as he waited for the right moment to strike. Can't wait to see the looks on their faces! His grin grew wider by the minute as he watched his prey.
Oh this is my favourite part. She goes into the basement,"
"Alone?" Gay stated.
"Alone." Lech replied as he smiled.
The raven haired women walked into basement slowly down the stairs. At the same time Evil and the chainsaw murderer revved their chainsaw as the Blond screamed.
"Wow, I don't remember this sounding so realistic!"
"Same here,"
Wait, The three turned their heads slowly to see a figure wearing a hockey mask revving the chainsaw above his head and laughing manically. They reacted reasonably.
"Shit!"
"Oh, Hell No!
"AHHHHH, I'm too fabulous to die!
Lech tackled Gay of the couch with him as they rolled into the corner of the room. While Fighter rolled to right. Evil walked menacingly toward the couple as they held each other in their arms. He chuckled softly as raised the chainsaw above his head. They both felt like it was their last moment together. The looked at each other.
"I'm sorry for how a treated you, for all it's worth you aren't so moronic. Even though you smell like a boar."
"I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet!"
Gay's mouth open wide in shock.
"You Bastard!" He started to wildly slap Lech while he protected his head.
Evil laughed at the two. "Ha Ha, You Idiots. I got you good!" He turned off the chainsaw and threw it aside. Then paused. Wait where's… Before Evil could finish his thought something heavy hit him and landed on top of him. It was the couch.
What the Hell?!" Evil screamed as he struggled to push the couch off of him.
Lech and Gay stared at Fighter as was breathing heavily, he was looking down while holding his knees.
"What?" He rose head to meet their gaze.
"A bit overkill don't you think?" Gay tilted his head to the side quizzically.
"Don't...You…Sass me." He panted.
"You couldn't use a Frying pan or something?" Lech added.
"Oh I'm Sorry. my first instinct when I see two friends about to get killed by a psycho, I throw the closest thing toward the psycho!" He pointed at Evil for emphasis.
"the closet thing to you was a table."
"Annnd the TV."
Fighter rose a single finger then narrowed his brow. "Those are breakable and they won't keep em down long enough."
Gay and Lech looked at dubiously.
"Fair enough." they both said.
"Hhhelp meee..." Evil said as he groaned painfully under the couch.
Push it off yourself" Lech said as went to his room.
Serves you right." Gay followed suit.
Fighter looked at Evil then toward the hallway.
"I'll do it tomorrow." he shrugged and walked to his room.
The next morning Prozac walked into the living room. He sees the couch then at Evil under it. He continues to walk away.