Chapter 3~ Confessions

EPOV

"So, um what did you want to talk about?" Bella asked.

I gave her a look as if to say she was crazy.

"You know what in the hell I want to talk to you about, Bella!" I spat.

"Sorry, that was rude, but I just found out after almost 5 years, that I have a son!!! Um, I kinda want to know why nobody bothered to fucking tell me!" I said intensely.

"O.K., let's go get some coffee and talk." Bella said.

I walked her to the perfect quiet Bistro, we ordered our coffee and sat in the far back corner.

"Where should I start?" Bella asked.

"Gee, the beginning?" I suggested.

She took a sip of her coffee, sighed and bit her lip, damn she was still so sexy…

"O.K., well, obviously we know what led to Anthony." she said.

I interrupted "Edward, you mean, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

She sighed again, frustrated. "Yes. O.K., I found out about 2 months later. I'd been tired and sick and I just put it all to exhaustion, seeing as though I couldn't eat or sleep once you left. I was losing weight, but my stomach was hard, so I went to Carlisle and he did blood work and when it came back, I remember the look on his face. It was a mixture of happiness, sadness and proud all at the same time. We called Esme in to the office and gave her the news, her face mimicked his, and then we had to tell my dad, it was the hardest thing I ever did, well, no I take that back, telling Renee was the hardest. I was worried about what she would think, me getting pregnant even younger than her. But, luckily, Esme & Carlisle had a plan and worked it to where my parents wouldn't feel ashamed or anything. So, I went all through high school pregnant, we told your siblings after my first trimester, they were pretty pissed we waited so long, because I was being picked on in school for 'eating' away my misery over you, everyone thought I was just fat, up until the very end, then it was hard to not show. Any way, during my last 2 months, I came to live with your family. I had your room and Esme made the guest room across the hall into a nursery, see, I was a high risk pregnancy. Edward was so big, that it was very difficult for me and he was going to be breech, so Carlisle had everything there for me and convinced Charlie it would be safer for me and for the baby and Charlie's house didn't really have the room. But, he was never excluded. I had the best care and everyone pampered me, Emmett was always carrying me somewhere and then, we found out about 5 months in to my pregnancy that Rosalie was too, so they doubled everything in the nursery and she was the picture perfect pregnant woman, she radiated and loved the entire 9 months, where as I was totally nervous and felt alone, even though I knew better, Rosalie became very protective of me and we'd lay in bed and listen to each others complaints and eat tons of ice cream, except Rosalie liked pickles and chocolate sauce on hers and me, I just like pretzels dipped in mine, when I was alone at night, I would put on your classical music and get your headphones and put them on my belly and Edward would kick frantically. I would lay on your couch and rub my belly, talking to him for hours. Telling him all about you and how one day I hoped you all would meet and how wonderful you were and Oh, I'm rambling, sorry" she stopped and blushed.

"No, please continue." I waved my hand.

"So, I went into labor and Emmett grabbed me up (we were watching a movie) and ran with me to Carlisle's office, Rosalie grabbed my bags and text Alice and Jasper, who were on a date, Esme and Rosalie followed in Esme's car and they had to perform a c-section and then Edward was here. We had came to the conclusion, not to tell you, because we knew how wrapped up in your school work you were and how quickly you wanted to graduate, like you, I wanted to finish college quickly and make a life for myself and Edward. I had already completed the first 2 years of college by the time I graduated high school, I was even the valedictorian. I had nothing better to do, so I threw myself into school and then when Spring term started, Carlisle pulled strings so I could complete my first term at home, so I didn't have to be away from Edward, even though they hired a wonderful nanny, who watched him while I studied and they. Plus Charlie doted on him all the time, I tell you, Charlie has done a complete turn around with the emotions department, I'm so surprised. He takes Edward every weekend fishing with him, since he was 2. That's when I started to see Jacob…" she barely whispered the last part.

"Excuse me? I don't think I heard you correctly? You dated Jacob? Jacob Black?" I growled.

"He was allowed around my son!" I spat.

She shook her head.

"May I finish?" Bella looked up at me for the first time.

"Yes." I growled again.

"So, I was seeing Jake and we use to go to the beach and talk and he was just there for me, I wasn't in love with him and he knew that, but he was still there for me and Edward, he's always been Uncle Jake, because he's known him since he was born and Charlie spends a lot of time in La Push, with Billy, your family welcomed him, knowing what my intentions were and knowing I was not looking to marry him or anyone else. I ended it when Jacob started getting a little to close, he was always wanting to hold me and touch me, I told him it wasn't going to happen and he said he just had to try. We remain friends, to this day and he's the head mechanic for Rosalie and Emmett for their import auto's. Esme and Carlisle surprised me for my college graduation and bought Edward and I a great little cottage, it's perfect for us. I bought him a chocolate lab and he named him 'Waffles', after his favorite breakfast food. Esme helped me open my own business, it's catering, which fits in nicely with my lifestyle, if it's a big party, Esme and Carlisle or Charlie will watch him, if it's small parties, I let my staff handle it, that way I can spend time with Edward. You know, he excels at everything like you? He is even wonderful at the piano and he's on a soccer team and swimming team back home." she looked up and smiled.

"Wow! I can't believe it. I am just sad that I missed out on so much. You do have pictures of everything, right?" I asked.

She looked up and smiled "Esme is the grandmother you know and Alice and Rose are aunts? We've got tons of video and pictures! I'd love to share them with you some day." she was blushing and her hair fell into her face.

I lifted her chin up with my hand and brushed back her hair, to see the glorious blush flood her cheeks.

"Edward, I never meant to hurt you. Really! I wanted you to know, but we all agreed it was for the better. I mean it was hard enough for me to finish college as quickly as I did and my classes weren't half as stressful as yours. I couldn't imagine you having the burden you and make you feel like you were obligated to be there. I didn't want you to think I would try and trap you." she put her head down again.

"Bella, don't be absurd. I don't feel trapped. I want to be there for you and Edward. I'm coming home for good right before Christmas and Carlisle and I are opening a practice together, I want to be with you still, always, if you'll have me." I smiled.

She looked up and worry was all over her face.

"Edward, we can't just pick up where we left off, we're adults now with different lives. I want us to be friends and see where it goes from there, but I can't just take you back and think that everything will fall into place, I have to think of Edw…" I leaned in and kissed her, to stop her rant, I wanted more, but her phone rang.

"Hello? Alice? What? Why are you calling and asking me about clothes, damn it! Anthony doesn't need another damn thing, I don't even have room for all the stuff you just brought back from New York. No, I don't need a bigger house. Goodbye Alice!" she hung up and sighed. Then she looked at the time and her eyes about jumped out of her head.

"Oh my! I have to go, Anthony, um Edward won't go to sleep without me there." she blushed.

"I thought you said he stayed with Esme and Charlie, etc… so therefore he'd have to be able to sleep without you, I think you're just wanting to avoid me." I grinned.

"No, were in a strange place and I don't think he'll sleep well, without me, that's all." she smiled a small smile.

"Let's call Jasper and see." I smiled at her and before she could protest, I had Jazz on the phone.

"Yeah, he's out like a light. Emmett, Anthony and Kelsi are all crashed in Emmett's bed, they were watching 'Harry Potter' and fell asleep." Jasper said.

"Thanks Jazz, that'd all I needed, night." I said.

"So, they're all asleep peacefully, what do you want to do?" I grinned.

She blushed and put her head down.

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