A/N- Hey guys, I know I said two weeks for an update, but technically I didn't write this chapterhaha.QueenApplesis both my beta and good friend, and she has had many rants about the shows treatment of Cora's storyline, so I asked her to write a Cora centric chapter to get her feelings out about it. I won't be updating until next week (probably Friday or Saturday), so you guys should thankQueenApplesfor bringing you an update a week early XD We have co-authored a fic, called 'The King of Redemption' and she has recently started a fic called 'Cursed Puppies' so please check them out if you like what you see here :)
Guest Author Notes – So, hey guys! I'mQueenApples, you may know me better aswithgirl'sbeta though, and I wrote this chapter, both as a way to not leave you guys hanging for two weeks and because I have a thing for Cora. I hope you have fun reading o/. Oh, and I have only just started full on writing so, please, be gentle on your critics e-e. If you like my writing style then go read mystoriesxD.
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Standing over the bed after having finished his examination, Whale scribbled some final information on the patient's medical records.
Turning around he stopped for a second to look at the sleeping face of Cora Mills. "No wonder the mayor ended up the way she did." He thought out loud while remembering the events that had been happening because of the woman.
He was no saint, but messing around with his own daughter the way the older brunette had done was another level of wickedness.
Turning around and shaking his head at the bedded woman, he failed to notice the tell tale signs of someone waking up.
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Going to Granny's the Charming and the Mills family were about to try and enjoy one of the rare days of peace in Storybrooke because they knew it was unlikely it would last.
So, for Henry's sake, they decided to put their differences aside and try to enjoy some dinner.
Right before entering the dinner though, Regina stopped and looked around.
"What is it Mom?" Said the boy after noticing the strange look on his brunette mother face.
"Oh, nothing, dear." She said absentmindedly still observing her surroundings, following her look the boy couldn't see anything either.
"I just felt something..." 'Or more likely, someone following me'.She finished mentally.
Briefly narrowing her eyes she decided to let it pass and shrugged the sensation away.
"Let's go." She said while turning, and putting a arm over her son's shoulders to guide him inside the dinner, not really noticing the shadow moving in the alley in front of where they were.
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Cora Mills could be labelled in many ways for all her deeds, but confused was never one of them, at least, not until now.
But alas there she lay hidden in the shadows, observing her daughter be the mother she never had the luck of having herself, feeling utterly lost. 'She certainly inherited herparenting skills from Henry.'
Teleporting herself out of there, the woman tried to sort through these thingsthat were once again part of her judgement.
'Emotions'she thought, 'peculiar things that had served me in no good way during my life.'but alas she couldn't bring herself do get rid of them again, to simply put her hand in her chest and take her heart out, for there was one feeling in particular that she couldn't help but want to feel.
'I had forgotten how it felt to feel love... that is, if I ever even truly felt it before.'She thought about when she believed she had found love for good, that she had finally found someone that fit her just right, someone she was going to willingly give up revenge for, the ultimate stake that drove her to cease feeling altogether.
She also thought about her own family. She was sure she had no lost feelings for her useless father but then she remembered a time when she had felt something for the old man, in a time when her mother was still alive, before she was consumed by the need of revenge.
Revenge for the humiliation she felt everyday of her life from the royals. A humiliation she herself applied to so many others. That thought brought home a new set of emotions, and furrowing her brow, the woman tried to remember what it could be. 'Guilt' She concluded with a scoff, now there was a set of emotion she hadn't missed at all.
Ignoring it altogether, the woman tried to move on from it. She may have her emotions back and she may not feel like love was all that much of a weakness anymore, but that didn't mean she would show it freely, after all, she still had her pride and logical mind influencing her actions.
But, unfortunately for her, emotions didn't quite work that way, and you couldn't simply ignore them at will, not if they became too overwhelming to make that possible, and that was exactly what happened once she remembered the things she should truly regret the things she did regret in that moment. Two in particular, each having a name of their own. Her daughters.
'Oh, what have I done?'That was the moment that Cora Mills felt the most powerless she had ever felt in her life.
With tears running freely down her face she recalled the old feeling of overwhelming guilt that had also played a part in her need to rip her own heart out, that convinced her that love brought nothing but weakness, for that was all she had felt when she left her new born child alone on her own, weakness, and pain.
She had felt like the worst person in the world, and even if at the time she had simply ignored the feeling by concentrating on her obsession for power, she found it impossible to do it now because in addition to this past mistake she also had the wrongs she inflicted upon her other daughter to add to them.
Feeling overwhelmed, the woman looked around, rapidly taking in her surroundings, and concluding that she was completely alone in that forest, she fell to her knees. Her past actions overwhelming her completely as she started recalling them.
She remembered holding her first born in her arms and giving her up, she remembered the pain she ignored, she remembered the fear she had felt for her child, 'what possibly happened her?',in that moment Cora Mills saw herself hoping that someone found her child that someone created them as their own, but one thing she found herself sure of in that moment was that whatever her fate had been she probably had a better life than Regina did by her own hands.
There lay the cause of her most deep suffering, for she had seen Regina grown, she had truly taken in the girl as her daughter, she knew her like very few, and she had used her completely. She had manipulated her to no bounds. She had abused of her, punishing her for things she had no control of, ripping any happiness away from her, much like she had done to herself. 'I accused KingXavierof selling his own flesh yet I did the same with my own, but in a muchworse way...'
And what utterly destroyed her emotionally in that moment was the feeling that she felt in her chest when she now thought of her youngest daughter, a feeling she had felt when holding her first daughter, 'Whatevermay her name be, if she even has one.' a feeling she should have felt when holding Regina as well.
A feeling so strong that it should have known no bounds, so complex that it shouldn't be considered as something individual for it involved lots of others, it encompassed protectiveness, care and above all, love, a feeling that should be how every mother felt for their child and in that moment Cora felt how utterly wrong she was for not admiring this feeling before, for refusing to acknowledge it.
Yet, she now felt it, maybe even more strongly then the first time because even without her heart, even without being able to feel it, she had formed a bond with Regina, and that bond was what truly defined motherhood. It wasn't simply about giving birth, but being connected to a child. A tie that she had witnessed between the daughter she failed to raise and the grandson she didn't deserve to meet.
Concentrating on that feeling though, the woman raised to her feet and recomposed herself. A renewed determination blooming in her chest.
She didn't know how or if it would ever be possible, but she was determined to change, determined to become the mother her daughter deserved much like the woman had done herself for her own son.
It would take time, and patience, but she was determined to rise above her own crimes, to become worthy of a family, for now she knew, 'Love isn't weakness. It'sstrength.'
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QANotes– So, hey o/,QueenApples here again, and that was the ending, powerful right? No? Oh well, I particularly am proud of this u-u I poured my heart out on this one... hope it shows. So, yeah, thanks for reading and I hope to see you around o/. (And thankswithgirlfor the opportunity of finally giving me an excuse to ramble about one the MillsxD, I know I had a really strong problem of cold feet and delayed this till the last minute but I still loved writing every second of it ; P)
A/N-Reviews would be much appreciated (and please send QueenApples some love XD)