Chapter Fifty-two
"You do understand that you came to see me," Archie chuckled, he had to admit that it came as a surprise that the former Evil Queen would ever be willing to talk about her issues, but now it seemed as though she wasn't, considering the silence of the last half an hour.
Regina bit her lip and looked around the therapist's office to make sure that she was really there, and then sighed deeply.
"I'm not sure why I did come here," she explained.
The psychologist nodded, and suggested, "Perhaps you could explain your thought process."
Regina closed her eyes in frustration, and admitted something against her better judgement, "I'm afraid that out loud I'll sound irrational."
"Just because a feeling is irrational, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be addressed, Regina. Can you at least give me the basics?"
Regina's mind flashed back her childhood, something that she hadn't told a single person about. She thought the first person she did talk about it with would be Emma, not some cricket.
Deciding that Cora would be off limits for her first sessions (she refused to acknowledge why she already knew that this wouldn't be her last session), she took a deep breath and admitted the other thing that had been weighing heavily on her mind.
"I feel completely useless; I should be helping Emma in some way."
Archie tilted his head and asked, "Why aren't you?"
For a moment, Regina felt anger flare at the slight accusation in his voice, but she moved past it and explained, "She wanted her parents to be her caretakers and she has rebuffed my attempts to become involved with her recovery."
"And I suppose that you have formed your own theories as to why this is?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" the mayor asked with a clenched jaw.
Archie held up his hands in surrender, and for some reason she felt herself instantly calm down, things would have been easier if we had therapists in the Enchanted Forest, she internally mused.
"What I mean Regina, is that you often internalise your issues and allow them to fester. It's part of the reason I was so shocked that you booked an appointment for yourself, not that I'm not happy about you being willing to work through your issues in a healthy way."
"How is thinking that Emma doesn't need me any different from saying it?" Regina sighed.
"Because when you say it out loud, someone else can tell you that there's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation that you are missing because you're consumed by self-doubt. I suppose you have convinced yourself that you have somehow done something to wrong Emma?" he replied.
He got his answer when Regina wouldn't meet her gaze, and he continued, "You and Emma are very much alike, have you not thought that she may be going through the same thing?"
Regina narrowed her eyes at the man and replied, "Meaning?"
"Meaning that I would guess that Emma is trying to deal with what happened during her...ordeal, have you asked her exactly what happened?"
"Of course not!" Regina said indignantly, "why would I want her to relive it?"
"Because that is the only way that she can begin to heal. I'm not saying that she needs to talk about it today, or even tomorrow, but she should know that there is someone who she can talk to about it when she needs to."
"She has her parents," the brunette replied bitterly.
"And why do you think that she chose them? My guess is that she knows that they don't know what to say to get her to talk about her trauma, that neither of them have gone through the same kind of torture and therefore are unable to have a deep and meaningful conversation about it."
Regina's eyes widened and she asked, "Did Henry tell you about his new storybook?"
"He may have revealed some of the more troubling aspects of it," Archie shrugged, "did you not know that he still talks to me?"
"He seemed so happy that he no longer had to come to therapy, I thought he would never voluntarily come back," she said almost to herself.
"Oh no, he didn't come to my office, he just talked to me at the diner," Archie laughed, "he's just happy that you no longer treat him as if he needs therapy, that doesn't mean that he hasn't come to appreciate the idea of having someone to talk to who isn't directly involved in his issues."
"He has issues?" Regina sighed.
Archie smiled fondly at her concern, and replied, "It's not anything that you aren't already aware of, Regina. I believe he sees me more of a friend than someone he has to talk to."
Regina thought about this for a moment, trying to decide whether it bothered her that Henry would chose to talk to Archie over her. After, however, she realised that the former cricket did have a certain calming presence, and she could certainly understand needing someone other than a family member to talk to, even about the most insignificant of things.
Archie eyed the woman carefully, expecting her to demand to hear exactly what Henry had talked to him about, but instead she just let out a sigh and a returned with a smile.
"I suppose I owe you a thank you then."
The man blinked a few times, and then returned the smile, "anytime, I'm always willing to help."
-Three days later-
Emma stared listlessly across the room, seemingly unable to register the other people in it.
Snow and Charming stood in the kitchen preparing dinner, with Snow regularly shooting glances at her unresponsive daughter.
The blonde hadn't uttered more than a few words in the past few days, she hadn't even left the bed other than to use the toilet. Honestly, Snow was just happy that the nurse had taught Emma to use it by herself, she wasn't sure that was something that she would be able to handle doing, as much as it hurt, she could admit that Emma was a grown woman, and some independence was necessary.
Grabbing the glass of water that the saviour had asked for, she walked over and placed it on the bedside table.
"Here you go sweetheart," she said in a soft voice.
Without looking up, Emma nodded by way of saying thank you and Snow tried not to sigh.
Up close she could see the bags under Emma's eyes, revealing what she and her husband already knew. The blonde hadn't sleep well since she was released from the hospital, every time she managed to drift off, she would wake up an hour later covered in sweat and panting, and the sight had begun to physically hurt her parents since they had no idea how to help.
"Do you need anything else?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Emma mumbled.
Snow was about to walk away, before she decided that she'd had enough of pretending that there was nothing more she could do, "Emma, please just tell us what's wrong."
The blonde clenched her jaw and finally looked up at her mother, "what do you think is wrong?"
Snow resisted the urge to face palm herself and began to reply, "I..." only to be interrupted by a raised hand.
"I can't walk!" Emma shouted, finally showing more emotion than she had in days, "don't you think that I'm allowed to be slightly distant, or do I have to tell you my every thought?"
Snow bit her lip, and finally aired her suspicions, "I don't think that's what is actually upsetting you."
Emma furrowed her brow, panic clinging to her slightly.
The paralysis was of course a sore point for her, but it wasn't what was on her mind twenty-four seven. Every time she managed to fall asleep, she dreamed of scenarios in which Cora had been too late to save Henry. Of course, she now knew that Neal probably wouldn't have hurt their son, but that didn't stop her active imagination. In her dreams, Regina couldn't even look at her through her grief, she was too weak to be with the former queen and she couldn't help berating herself in the day for it.
"How would you know?" Emma asked, knowing one way to get her mother to stop talking, she decided to only use it if Snow didn't back off soon.
"Regina would..." she began.
Emma cut her off, promptly putting her plan into action, "do you really know me that well to judge what's bothering me?"
Snow looked taken aback for a second, and felt an urge to just shake her head and go back to the kitchen, but she was determined, "no I don't."
Emma stared at her mother, not sure whether she was disappointed that it didn't work, or relieved that they were finally slightly changing the subject.
"I don't know you that well, at least not yet," she explained, "but that doesn't change the fact that I have every intention of being your mother and that means that I can't just stand aside and watch you be miserable."
"And how do you plan to make it better?!" Emma shouted.
"I don't know," Snow sighed, "you need to talk to someone."
"You?" Emma laughed, "no offence, but you would make a pretty shit therapist."
Snow rolled her eyes and shook her head, "no, not me...someone that will understand, someone who has suffered enough to understand."
Emma bit her lip, knowing exactly who her mother was talking about, "I'm fine," she said again, "I don't need to talk to anyone, I just need to be left alone."
"You're not fine, Emma, you haven't slept in days."
"Try being electrocuted for six hours and tell me how eager you are to go to bed," the blonde mumbled turning away from her mother, "I'm not hungry, can you close the curtain?"
Snow looked over at David, who had been silently watching the exchange; he was kind of shocked to hear Emma talk so much after days of almost silence. With a sigh, the mother did as she was asked, coming to stand in front of the kitchen island, she looked at her husband questioningly.
"What?" she finally asked after several moments of silence.
"Where that come from?" he replied.
"We can't just wait for her to talk to us, David; we need to assure her that we're here for her."
David looked at the woman sceptically and said, "I don't think it worked, Snow."
"Are you kidding?" she returned, "she actually talked to me."
"She spent the whole conversation telling you that she doesn't want to talk to you," he replied, looking thoroughly confused.
"Which proves my theory," Snow said triumphantly, David continued to look at her in confusion, until she finally explained, "she doesn't want to talk to us, so we need to get her to talk to someone else."
"And how do you suppose we get her to talk to Regina?"
Snow furrowed her brow and fell onto one of the stools, "I'm still working on that part."
Cora paced outside of her daughter's front door.
She had been invited to dinner, and honestly she was worried that the tentative trust she had built with her daughter and grandson could all come crashing down.
Finally, she knocked at the door, which Henry opened a few minutes later.
"Hey," he smiled and opened the door wider to allow her into the house.
Cora returned the smile and took the invitation, walking into the foyer.
"Mom's in the kitchen," he informed her before making his way upstairs to get ready for dinner.
Cora made the short trip the kitchen, where she found her daughter chopping carrots, and grinned fondly at the sight. She couldn't help but think that after everything was said and done, Regina had ultimately gone against the life she wanted for her, and she couldn't have been happier about that fact.
"Good evening dear," she said by way of announcing her presence.
Regina looked up, and a plethora of emotions crossed her face, before she seemed to settle upon tentative smile, "hello mother."
Cora came over and sat at the island, and the pair sat in silence for five minutes, with the chopping the only sound filling the kitchen, until the older woman finally brought up an important issue.
"Rumpel agreed to not attempt to free Neal so long as he gets a fair trial," she said.
Regina looked up with a raised eyebrow, and asked, "Is that really necessary?"
"Is it not better than the wrath of the Dark One?" Cora replied.
Regina shrugged, "I suppose it will be a relatively short trial."
"Exactly what do you have planned?"
Regina put the knife down and sighed, "I haven't decided yet."
"Regina..." Cora warned, knowing exactly how well her daughter's last revenge turned out.
"What?"
"I understand your anger, but you need to think it through," she sighed.
"Believe me mother, I have thought it through thoroughly, rather ironic that Rumpel taught me so many methods of revenge in the effort of getting back his son."
"Would it really be worth it?"
Regina tilted her head, "did you not see what he did to Emma?"
Cora furrowed her brow, "technically, it was Greg who tortured her."
"On Neal's orders!"
"Who's to say that if it wasn't someone else, the same thing wouldn't have happened?"
Regina narrowed her eyes at her mother, "I can assure you that it wouldn't have happened if it was someone else, I know firsthand what happened, besides why are you protecting him?"
"Because I would rather not have Rumpelstiltskin seeking revenge against my daughter," she ground out, "and what did happen?"
Regina eyed her mother, and replied, "Greg did it to some else."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter mother," Regina sighed, and picked up the knife.
"It was you wasn't it?" Cora asked tentatively, hoping that her suspicions were wrong.
The younger brunette shrugged and her mother reached across the island to place her hand over hers. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Regina closed her eyes in frustration, she couldn't help the feeling that her mother seemed to be somehow picking Neal over her, even if she did make a very good point about his father.
"I suppose torture isn't an uncommon occurrence for me, it seemed rather mundane," she replied through gritted teeth.
Cora looked completely stunned, and the thick tension was promptly cut by the loud ringing of Regina's cell phone.
The mayor grabbed it, and instantly looked even more irritated as she held the device to her ear, "what do you want Snow?"
After a short conversation, Regina placed the phone on the counter and looked tentatively at her mother.
"What did she want, dear?" Cora asked, very thankful for the change of topic, if only so she had time to fully process what her daughter's words meant.
"She's worried about Emma; she said she hasn't slept since the hospital. She all but demanded that I go over to the apartment."
"Then go," Cora smiled.
Regina looked over at the clock on the opposite wall. Dinner had already been late it was, since Henry had stayed back after school to join some kind of extracurricular English class, and then Regina had to stay late at work to catch up. The boy had insisted that they shouldn't postpone the dinner with his grandmother, so they had simply asked for her come later.
"I can't..."
"Regina, I can manage to make my grandson something for dinner and watch him until you come back. You know that you have to go over and help to make your girlfriend feel better, you'll regret not doing it."
Regina looked down at the preparation she had done so far and asked sceptically, "you know how to cook?"
Cora let out a bark of laughter, and began pushing the younger woman towards the kitchen door, "go."
Snow pulled the door open somewhat violently to reveal her former step mother.
"Thanks for coming, Regina," she sighed in relief.
"I must admit, I'm not exactly sure why you called me," Regina replied, while she followed the younger woman into the apartment.
"She needs someone to talk to."
Regina raised her eyebrow at the man sitting on the couch, and she couldn't help but wonder just how annoying the pair had been for the past three days.
David continued at the curious look from the mayor, "she won't talk to us, and as strange as it is, you have known her longest."
"It's only been three days, you surely can't expect her to be healed so quickly, have you even tried to give her space?"
David and Snow shared a look, seeming to be having a silent conversation that involved an 'I told you so', and Regina rolled her eyes.
"You have been constantly pestering her, and you wonder why she won't talk to you?"
Snow sighed, and said through gritted teeth, "she won't even be in the same room as you."
The princess's face dropped when she realised what she said, and Regina rolled her eyes, "and yet you were still desperate enough to call for my help?"
David stood from the couch and pulled his wife away before she said anything else that would be considered incredibly stupid and said, "We have a theory that we're not the people she really needs."
"A theory?" Regina scoffed, "aren't you supposed to be her caretakers? And you're spending your time coming up with theories?"
"Will you help or not?" Snow asked.
Regina looked over to the closed curtain, and took a deep breath, "of course I will, as long as I'm guaranteed privacy."
Snow nodded instantly and pulled her husband upstairs, "if she doesn't get some sleep soon, she's going to make herself ill," she whispered to David, who looked like he wanted to protest the arrangement.
Regina stood looking at the partition between her and the girlfriend that she hadn't seen in days, and thought back to Archie's advice. He certainly had a point, she imagined that the saviour was probably as distant as she was when it came to deep meaningful feelings, but that didn't stop the doubt from creeping upon her trying to convince her that the saviour didn't need the Evil Queen to make her feel better.
With a deep breath, she pulled the curtain aside and was met with, "I'm fine, Snow."
Emma turned expecting to have to find a way to get her mother to leave her alone, but instead her face went blank when she saw who stood before her bed.
For the first time since the kidnapping, she maintained eye contact with the woman that she loved, and she felt a flood of happiness at the concerned face, before regret clenched her stomach and she looked away.
"I'm too tired to talk, Regina," Emma sighed, refusing to look up as she spoke.
Emma furrowed her brow when all she heard was the clicking of heels getting closer, and looked up to see Regina standing right next to the bed.
"That's exactly why I'm here," she smiled.
Snow woke up and instantly sprung into a sitting position.
For the past few days she had been woken with the sinking feeling that something was wrong and had run down stairs to see her daughter having a fitful sleep, but now it seemed as though both she and her husband had slept through the night.
David sprung awake a moment later, seemingly having the same thought as his wife, as without words they both began to make their way down the stairs.
Tentatively, they came to the living room to see the curtain still drawn. Usually Snow would pull it across to make sure that they could hear whether Emma needed something.
The parents exchanged another nervous look, and Snow stepped forward as quietly as possible.
Hesitantly, she pulled the material aside slightly, and instantly a smile adorned her face.
She heard the familiar soft little snore coming from her daughter, a sound that had been replaced with something much more distressed as of late.
It became evident that the blonde was hugging something very tightly, something that was clearly making her feel able to sleep.
Snow took a second to look curiously at how non-threatening her daughter's girlfriend looked in her sleep, and then snapped the curtain closed.
"She's fine," she whispered happily to David.
A/N Hope you guys enjoyed :)
I'm not sure how much time I'll to write tomorrow, so it may be shorter chapters for Saturday and Sunday (probably around 1k words), but I'll make them as long as possible
Reviews would be much appreciated, and if anyone has any ideas for what should happen in the Pan arc (he will be coming to Storybrooke) then pm me, I love hearing what you guys would like to see in the fic XD