Fate's Games
(A/N: Second up today.)
You Will Never Be Alone
She'd never liked being new. Being new was frightening. Being new in a place where you had to earn your respect was scarier still. She didn't like the feeling, but she wanted this more than anything else. To be a Companion had been her life's dream. Her mother had been one. She wanted it and she was willing to prove herself. But how could she when so many had so much experience over her? Only Kodlak had accepted her without question. Only Kodlak had encouraged her and taught her. Kodlak had been her father and mentor, and she loved him. Now Kodlak was gone, and she'd never felt more alone…
As they stood gazing into the fire, tears pricked her eyes and silently fell. She wanted to sob, but no one else was outwardly sobbing. They were solemn, respectable, brave… She didn't want to be like that, though. She wanted to fall to her knees and tear at her hair and wish to the divines that her father would come back. She had already departed from one family, and now this? She stayed gazing at the pyre even as everyone else left but the Circle. It was her place to go, she knew, but she didn't want to. She wouldn't. She wouldn't leave until she could weep as loudly and as much as she wanted.
ES
"You can cry if you want," a voice suddenly said, breaking through her clouded thoughts. She opened her eyes quickly, fearfully, only to find herself gazing up into Farkas' eyes. "It isn't weakness to weep."
"Then why aren't you? Why did no one else?" she asked her friend and shield brother as the rest of the Circle walked away.
"Shield Sister, do you wish for me to weep with you?" he asked. Her lips slowly parted.
Blushing she looked down, embarrassed at how weak she must have seemed. He cocked his head, taking in the girl quietly. She had come here frightened, scared, with no defender. But Ria had been nothing if not determined to prove himself. He'd liked her well enough. She had become dear to him. So very dear… It hurt him to see her so sad. She looked up at him once more and nodded quietly.
"Yes…" she answered. "Weep with me."
"Then let us share our pain," he said. All at once, with an anguished scream, she collapsed into his arms sobbing helplessly, terrified, weak, afraid, once more a little girl, once more the frightened child. He held her tightly, his arms strong around her, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe.
ES
He was her pillar of strength, but at the same time she felt him shaking, his shoulders quivering with silent sobs. It amazed her, how such a strong man could display such a weakness. But perhaps it was the strongest task he had ever completed. He was so kind, so tender. Never had he been cruel to her, even sharing in some of the insults she received, even defending her now that she recalled. "Farkas, I'm so alone," she quietly murmured.
"Never, shield sister, never. You will not be alone. You will never be alone," Farkas vowed to her as the fire burned, casting its eerie glow over the two. "You have friends you can turn to. You are loved by all the Companions. And even if they should all turn their backs on you, I swear to you that I never will. I will die first, because you mean more to me than you will ever know."
Her heart fluttered and for a moment she wished that those words meant so much more. Protector, friend, brother, if only your words meant what I wish. Do they? "Thank you," she breathed.
"You're welcome," he answered. Gently pulling away, his hand lightly stroked her hair. In silence they stood, looking at once another. All at once he seemed to realize what he was doing and stopped. Even in the dark she could see the blush on his cheeks. She smiled, almost giggling. It was so out of place, but she liked it. "I must go meet with the Circle now. Rest Ria, and mourn. I will return as soon as I can to be with you."
Oh gods, if only he knew how those words made her heart race. He pulled away and awkwardly bowed, trying to be gentlemanly. She grinned approvingly at him. He looked back up at her only to feel soft lips pressed against his rough ones. He froze, stomach dancing around like butterflies lived in it. Then the lips were gone, leaving him gaping, and he wanted to feel them again but he couldn't because she was leaving, and he had to meet with the Circle.
Quietly he watched after her. As soon as he could return would never be soon enough, he realized then. Already the seconds felt like eternity. What did this mean, he wondered? Maybe he would ask Vilkas. Watching her draw her fingers through her hair he changed his mind. Maybe not. The mystery was so much better, and it would be all the more glorious when he discovered what it meant for himself. She would never be alone, he vowed to himself, and no one would ever make her feel that way again, or hurt her. He would be there for her until death forced him away from her.