Book One: The Birth of the Order

Chapter 3

Inside Fortescue's, the young adults became children again for a final time. None of them could ignore the trouble brewing outside as people spoke in whispers and headlines filled with panic, but for now they could just be carefree one last time. Nessa went for her default, strawberry and peanut butter. "So... you and James then? Finally?" She smirked a bit at Lily as she asked. She had sensed the tension between them even when they met.

"Oh," Lily said as she grinned across the room to James who was arguing with Remus over the last scoop of chocolate. "Yes. He was so kind to me after Severus… well, when I needed a friend. I saw a different side of him that year. Since then we started to put the past behind us and be happy for the future. What about you, Nessa? Any prospects?"

"No. Archimedes was the only man in my life. He died last year. I miss that grumpy, old owl," she sighed. "I'm always working. It's hard to meet anyone." She pulled at a loose curl in her hair and muttered a bit. "Besides, no one is interested."

"Oh Ness, I doubt that is true. You are an amazing girl. Any man would be lucky to have you, but I understand the working all the time. That would make it hard to meet people." She frowned. "I noticed you didn't exactly volunteer earlier. Don't get me wrong. I know you will help this new team however you can. I can imagine that it will be hard to keep a low profile while working for the ministry though."

"Of course. My whole family are blood traitors. Me joining would put an even bigger target on their back. If I had the money I'd have them leave the country. But I don't know if I'll have much of a choice any longer about what to do. I just know something is brewing... something dark."

"Well if what Tabitha said is true, then things have grown faster and farther than we could imagine."

James sat beside Lily with ice cream in hand and looked to the girls. "What are we talking about then?"

Nessa nodded to Lily. "She was telling me all about how you are dragging your feet."

James turned bright red and looked at Lily who was just snickering at Nessa's blunt joke. James opened his mouth to defend himself, but the only words that escaped him were, "Nice weather isn't it?"

Nessa chuckled at James. "Nice line. Yes, it's nice. Been a while since the mooncalves, hmm?" She threw a shy smile at Remus too. She didn't know him as well, but he reminded her a bit of herself. The quiet type. "Not feeling social, then?"

Remus had taken a seat next to James and was practically pouting when Nessa called him out. "Huh? Oh, sorry. I'm just bitter at James. He got the last of the chocolate. It is nice to see you again, Nessa."

"You too, Remus." Nessa looked into her ice cream for a bit. "So, Lil and I were just talking and… I'm thinking I'll go to to the meeting. I'm still not sure about all this but I can't sit out forever."

A few moments of silence passed, save for the licking and slurping sounds of people enjoying their dessert. Finally, the shop door opened and the bell chimed. Sirius entered first and held the door for Elise who once again gave a smirk and eye-roll at his childish patronizing. He then slammed the door shut just as Tabitha attempted to enter. "So," he started as Tabitha shoved through the door and joined everyone else. "Miss me?"

"More than you know, Padfoot," Remus said sarcastically.

Peter nudged him in the arm and pointed to Tabitha. "But Delaney looks like she may murder you?"

"What else is new?" Lily said with a laugh that seemed to cheer up the others who were still on edge after the conversation.

Remus leaned over to James and whispered, "Hadn't you better get that thing now that you're pretending we don't know about?"

James looks over to Remus at the mention of a "thing" and quickly sits up in surprise. "Oh, yes um that's right... I have another errand to run before we leave. For Remus. With Remus. Only Remus. He needs help buying something. For someone. Who I can't say. And I'm going to go with him and buy it." James smiles, trying to act smooth and discrete.

Remus looked over at James stunned. He had never seen him lose his cool like that before. He looked at Lily to answer and realizes she has her stern, suspicious look on her face. "I um...I have to get some...guy stuff. James is going to help me...get guy stuff." Remus inwardly kicks himself realizing that he wasn't doing much better than James. It wasn't his fault Lily had a look that made you want to spill your guts. Remus avoided looking her in the eye. "We've got to go. See you later." He grabs James's arm and drags him away before either one of them can say anything else.

They quickly exited and Sirius crossed his arms at Peter who was mid-bite of his ice-lolly. "Did they really just blow us off like that?" Peter took a bite then nodded. "Well that won't do," he said while looking back at the door as if it had said something offensive. He nodded for Peter to follow and they both walked out after James and Remus.

Nessa gave a shrug at Lily. "Men are peculiar creatures, and it seems yours is no exception." She noticed Elise slide in and sighed. "Well partner in crime, seems we have a common visit to make. I wasn't going to go at first but... well, these are some of the only friends I ever had."

"I'm sorry, Ness, I would have told you myself, but Dumbledore didn't say if he had told you or not," The girl said, flicking her eyes to the men who could be seen outside the ice cream shop. "What on earth are they doing?"

"Most likely something that will bring us all grief later," Lily said with a chuckle and Tabitha glanced at her. "Shall we go interrupt before they bring havoc?"

"No, I always seem to spoil James' fun lately."

"Of course, that is the fun part for you."

"Naturally, Tabs." Tabitha smiled at the exchange. She could tell Lily wasn't able to simply ignore the fact that she had left so suddenly after being so close for years, but for now they were able to put it aside.

She glanced through the window and said, "Well I'll go find out what they are up to."

Elise licked her cone and glanced at Tabitha, still put off about getting off on the wrong foot. "He said he only wanted Remus to join."

"Well, like Black and Pettigrew I chose not to hear that." She gave her usual smirk and winked to Lily before walking outside.

In the alley, James sighed in relief. "Well...I think that went well... Now" he looks around to make sure Lily or none of the girls are around. "Where's the nearest jewelry shop? I need your help picking out a ring. I'm uh...I'm going to ask Lily to uh...to marry me." He scratches his head and ruffles his hair nervously, chuckling a bit as his cheeks turn red again. "Do you think Lily would want a muggle made ring or a goblin made one? Does she want a colored diamond or just a plain white one? White gold or yellow? Oh Merlin, I haven't been this nervous since Ravenclaw vs Gryffindor 6th year when Ravenclaw caught the snitch but we won with a penalty shot!"

"Good Godric James I didn't know there was so much to consider. Why are you asking me? You know Lily better than anyone. Well except Tabitha maybe...wait Tabitha we should ask her. She would know just what Lily would want. When dealing with this jewelry stuff it's probably best to have a woman's opinion anyway."

"I don't mind asking Tabitha for help. I don't know I just...I want everything to be perfect for her."

"Perfect for who?" Sirius asked as he and Peter joined them. Peter still had his ice cream in hand. James grinned at the others and Remus patted him on the shoulder.

"Go on, Prongs. Tell them."

"Well, I was going to wait to tell you. I'm uh...gonna ask Lily to marry me." No matter how many times he says it he still gets a chill of excitement at the thought of marrying Lily. He just hopes she says yes. "We're going to get a ring now, if you want to come. But we need Tabitha's help."

"My help with what?" All of them jumped, but Sirius managed to pull it off discretely. Peter dropped his ice cream, sadly and he puffed his lip out.

"Godric, Delaney. It's bad enough you are terrifying when we see you coming. Do you really have to sneak up on us?" Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and tossed his head back to face Tabitha.

"I think he just called you ugly," Peter said with an eyebrow raised.

Tabitha said nothing, she just did her best to hide the hurt look behind the stone expression she had spent years perfecting. "Oh."

"No, he didn't," Remus said giving a disapproving look to Sirius. "You're beautiful Tabitha." He quickly realized how that must have sounded and stumbled over his words to correct himself. "I mean for a girl you are… you're not…. That's not… um… you're decent." Tabitha blinked at him and the rest stood in awkward silence before Remus tried salvaging what pride he had left by saying, "Prongs is going to pop the question."

Her eyes traveled from him to James who said, "But you can't tell. Can you keep a secret."

"I was a common room secret keeper you'll recall."

"But how good were at it?"

"Quite."

"Prove it."

"How does one prove they are good at keeping a secret without telling a secret?"

The boys all looked at each other then nodded. "Good point," James said. "So… you going to help me?" She stood still for a moment and looked at James. "Aye. If you promise you're never going hurt her or cause her tears."

"Oi, this is my best friend you are talking about!" Sirius said as he puffed out his chest. "Why is it you ask miss runaway for help but you didn't even ask me if I approve of this union?"

"You're not my father, Padfoot."

"Lucky for you. You wouldn't be the one getting married because every time you brought a girl home they would fall in love with your dad."

Remus cleared his throat and brought the conversation back to the topic at hand. "James was wondering if you could help him pick the ring. He wants to make sure everything is perfect for Lily and since you are her best friend you might be able to help."

Tabitha glanced between the two of them then thought a moment before saying, "She always loved dark gems. Size six. And she will want you to ask her in private. Enough of her life has been shared. And for the love of Merlin try to be smooth. Don't fumble around with words. Speak from the heart... if you can dig that deep." She was surprisingly confident about all this information. Especially for someone who swore never to marry.

"Well then we have an idea of what we are looking for." Remus clapped James on the shoulder. "The rest is up to you mate." Remus turned and looked at the group. "And remember not a word to Lily."

"Right. Don't have to worry about me... Good old Tabs always keeps a secret." She mumbled under her breath and was uncharacteristically moody.

Remus looked at Tabitha. There was something wrong he had never seen her act that way before. He thought about the way she acted at the Leaky Cauldron, so insecure and uncertain. "Can I talk to you for a minute Tabs?"

Tabitha blinked at Remus. For a brief second she looks nervous about something. "S-sure..."

Remus looked down when she gets nervous. He didn't realize just being alone with him would upset her. Surely, whatever was bothering her was about him. The list of items she could be holding a grudge over swirled in his mind. She had been close with Snape in the past. What if the long nosed, twat had revealed to her that Remus was a werewolf. Or worse, what if she had somehow seen him one night during a full moon. Come to thing of it, the last full moon spent at Hogwarts was the week of graduation. Remus shoved the fearful thoughts aside and said, "We will come right back I promise." He forced an encouraging grin and led her away from the others.

Peter licked his fingers to savor what is left of his ice lolly. "Well, what do you think that is about?"

"I don't know," James said. Peter tilted his head to ponder it. "They always did have a special friendship. But I don't recall Moony being specifically hurt that Tabitha didn't say goodbye. You think he is?"

Peter looked to James who just shook his head and said, "It's nothing I can think about now. They will sort it out. Now, I have a ring to buy."

Sirius tossed an arm around him. "I'll come."

"Fine. But I'm not buying you anything. You're like a niffler in jewlry stores. No cufflinks and no tie-pins and if you mention one more time that we have to have these things because we aren't restricted by school robes anymore then you're not invited to the wedding."

"Well, look at you sounding all confident. Who says she is even going to say yes?"

"She will," Peter says smugly. "She can't resist someone like James."

"Calm down, Pete. It isn't you he is proposing to." The three chuckled and walked up the street to the jewelry store.

Tabitha and Remus had found a quiet alley and waited a moment for the first person to speak. Remus saw that Tabitha was clearly declining the chance so he spoke first. "Sorry if I upset you. I've just noticed you're not acting like your old self and I figure it's because of me." He said sheepishly. He wasn't surprised. Quite a few people had found out his secret after they graduated and treated him differently because of it. Lily was the only one who treated him the same after finding out, other than the lads that is. She was incredible kind and understanding about the whole thing and Remus prayed Tabitha would be too.

Tabitha looked at him surprised. "You didn't upset me..." She looked down "I know. I know I'm not myself. I thought I could hide it but it was foolish of me. I forgot how you always managed to see right through my masks. I just wasn't expecting to see you all. I was expecting to come, get some cash, buy a Prophet and head back Glasgow. I wasn't prepared for all this."

"I can see how overwhelming that would be."

"It's just... The reason I left... I couldn't keep certain secrets anymore. They were too painful. I left so I wouldn't have to face... So I wouldn't have to bite my tongue anymore."

"And seeing us today made you feel like you had to bite your tongue." He said it as a statement more than a question. Hearing this confirmed his fears. Clearly the secret she spoke of was about his... condition.

"Coming back and seeing you all made all those secrets and feelings hit me like a ton of bricks. Add to it the offer to join the fight against Voldemort and… well..."

"I understand, Tabs. It was more of a day than you were anticipating. You did your time as a secret keeper in school. It isn't fair for us to expect you to keep it up."

"Yes it is. I'm your friend… or I was. I'm not really sure what I am to you all now. Anyhow, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Tabs." Remus remembered their old, conversations about secrets and how much he wanted to just be honest with her. It pained him to know that now that she had found out it was an added burden on her. "My secret no longer matters Tabitha. You can let it go." He forced a smile on his face. "One less thing off your list. If it was the cause for you leaving and your emotions I am deeply sorry."

Tabitha looked up at him. "What?"

"I never meant for my condition to affect anyone like that. Most of all my friends." He faced away from her and continued, "I know you are uncomfortable around me now, but I hope you know I'm still the same person I was back in school. Back when we were good friends. Great friends, I thought. At least that's who you were... and are to me." He wanted to tell her he would never hurt her but knew that people like him can't promise things like that.

Tabitha continued to blankly stare in confusion. "Your condition? What condition are you talking about? Are we talking about the same thing?"

"Wait… you mean you didn't leave because of my condition?" He freezes and ends up just staring at her.

"I didn't even know you had one, Rem. I mean, I know you were ill in school many times." Sudden worry crossed her face. "Are you all right, Remus? Does Potter know?"

"He… he knows, but I'm starting to think you don't understand."

"Don't what?"

"Know."

"Know what?"

"My secret."

"Well I think the same goes for my secret."

"What is yours?"

"Oh no, Remus. I couldn't."

"Well, I can't tell you mine."

"Then why did you pull me back here?" She began to get frustrated and Remus just groaned.

"Because I thought I was the cause for your leaving. I would have to be an idiot to not clearly see that. You were uncomfortable beside me at the meeting, you hardly look at me. I even noticed in our last semester that you stopped talking to me."

"Remus…"

"If it isn't my condition, then fine. Just tell what it is. I know it has something to do with me. Maybe it has something to do with the lads but you feel I'm too close to them to tell me."

"Remus."

"Need I remind you that my friendship with you doesn't always have to involve the boys or Lily or anyone else?"

"Oh, Remus," Tabitha groaned as if the oxygen has been sucked from the air around her. "I left because I was in love, alright?"

"What?" His eyes widened and he stood in shock. Part of him was embarrassed for pushing her so far to admit something like that, but he also was curious to know more. How could Tabitha Delaney, the girl who swore to die alone, fall in love? And who was this person who dared to mess with her heart, Remus was curious to know. Suddenly Remus realized it wasn't only curiosity, but jealousy. Whoever had won Tabitha's heart was lucky, in his opinion.

Tabitha crossed her arms and looked away. "Yes, me. The girl who swore she would be alone forever fell in love."

Remus' face softened. "Tabitha, that isn't bad. That is wonderful. Unless… it isn't Sirius, is it? I mean I know we used to tease you two about it in school but for Merlin's sake please don't marry him. That would be a catastrophe." He laughed, but her failure to glance at him made him uneasy. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know you. I know how I can't keep my mouth shut around you because you're so easy to talk to. I thought I would say too much... Now I have." She refused to look back at him. "And it isn't Black. Godric, how could you lot even mentally pair me with a eejit like that?"

Remus chuckled. "I suppose we just want the best for you, Tabitha. Don't tell Sirius I said that. We may have teased you a lot, but we still liked you. Especially… especially me. I think you deserve happiness more than anyone. If you loved someone then you should go after them, not run away."

"Even if they said that sort of life… wasn't in the cards for them?" She now looked up at Remus and saw his face change.

Remus was staring at her stunned. He remained silent for a long time as he mentally pieced things together. Him? How could someone even care about him let alone think they love him? The thought rattled through his mind. He realized he had to say something. Anything. But somehow nothing came to mind. Remus opened his mouth and attempted to form words. The three words that managed to emerge were, "I'm a werewolf."

The Adventure Continues Next