Hushed Secrets

Chapter 13

It's been two months since Jasper's accident and he's living with Rose and Emmett, not wanting to go back to Texas and look like a failure, he's hired personal trainers to come to their house, since Emmett had a huge gym in the basement.

He of course was still on the payroll and had his endorsements, but from what Rose said the tear is pretty bad and he probably won't be able to play again. She also said that Maria had left and he'd said he was upset over that, but Rose didn't believe him, she thought it had to do with me. I wasn't so sure about that.

Going over my weekly planning, the phone rings, which surprises me, no one ever calls this late. "Hello?" I answer, unsure of who it is. "Bella?" I hear a soft voice say. "Jasper, is that you?" he was speaking so soft and he sounded off, I wasn't sure. "Yeah, it's me." He sighed. "Are you OK Jasper?" I asked. "Yes, no, I don't know. Rose and Emmett were arguing tonight, because of me and them having to put their lives on hold, because I was here and miserable and Emmett think's it's all because of my arm, Rose told him to wake up, I was sulking because of you. And Bella? She's right." My breath hitched and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to be happy, but part of me was pissed.

"I tried to move on with Maria, but my heart wouldn't let me. I knew about you and Sam, Emmett always rubbed it in my face, but I refused to believe you were happy with him, so my heart couldn't love Maria, it was purely physical." He sighed again.

"Jasper, I-I don't know what to say. I'm so pissed at you! You've treated me like shit for years! I wanted you with all my heart and you dismissed me when I was pregnant, when I needed you the most! I can't just forget that! When I thought I lost the baby, you came around, but then when I found out I still had Olivia, you ran again! I can't do that to her, me!" I cried into the phone.

"Can't we be friends, Bella?" he asked.

"Jasper, I don't know. I- I need time. This is too much. I thought I wanted this, but I have to think about it. Good Night Jasper." I hung up, put my papers away and went to bed, crying myself to sleep.

I avoided Rose for a week, before she got bitchy and demanded to see me.

"What's up with you? You've never gone a week without talking to me!" looking into my eyes for the answer.

I sighed. "Rose Jasper called last week. He overheard you and Emmett arguing over him and it supposedly made him reevaluate his feelings for me. He wants to be friends and see if it leads anywhere. I just don't think I can do that. I mean, he's already screwed me over."

"Bella, I can't tell you what to do, but Jasper told me about the call, that's why I HAD to see you. I wanted to talk about it. I don't see anything wrong with friends, don't rush, come to dinner tonight, with Olivia and get to know one another." She smiled.

"OK, but I hope this doesn't backfire. I can't be hurt again. I care for him to much, I can't let him see or know, so don't be pissed if I'm distant." I told her.

Dinner was nice, I brought dessert as always and after, we sat at the table as the kids played video games. We talked and it was nice and casual, until Jasper asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I stiffened and looked to Rose. She nodded and I accepted, hoping I was making the right choice. I didn't trust myself alone with him.

We took a walk down the street and were quiet as we passed the first few houses. Then Jasper started. "Bella, I'm really sorry for being an ass all these years. I really do care for you and I think bring an ass was my defense not to get hurt, should you find someone who deserves you more. Believe it or not, I think about you every day! I love you Bella." He stopped short and held man hands, pulling me into him and crashing his lips into mine. "Jasper, no! Stop!" I pushed him away. "I can't do this. I'm not ready to give you my heart and let you destroy it, yet again." I turned and started walking back. "Bella, stop!" he grabbed my wrist and held me at the shoulders. "Bella! NO! I'm not letting you get away this time. I'll settle for friends, right now, but I can't promise to be good. I'm in love with you!" he shouted. "Jasper, please. I can't. I can't let you break my heart…AGAIN!" I took off running towards the house, Jasper hot on my heels, stopping me just as we entered the yard. "Damn, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm trying to be honest for once and make you happy. I want to get to know Olivia and I want to be with both of you. Please." He whispered the last part as he leaned in to kiss me.

I gave in, I let Jasper into my heart, AGAIN!