North American Hurricane (Hetalia)
Author: Ashynarr
Summary: In the same vein as Bunnies For Your Amusement, I now bring you my collection of oneshots and short stories featuring the North American twins, America and Canada! Now including non-LJ drabbles.
Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.
Warning: Random Shit, Bros Being Bros, Bodyswap!Fic
A bit of a look at the 'Ivan and Alfred switch bodies for no reason' trope. For Reasons.
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Like most people, Matthew Williams enjoyed sleep, especially at the end of a long, stressful work week. And, like most people, he did not appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by the phone.
All things considered, he can be forgiven for sounding less than pleasant when he finally answered, eyes firmly remaining shut as he fumbled for the receiver before pulling it vaguely to his ear. " 'allo?"
"Oh thank god I thought you'd never pick up!"
He swore the voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it for a minute due to the odd tone. "...Ivan?"
"No, Mattie, it's me-"
"-do you even have any idea what time it is for me right now?" Matthew interrupted, unamused.
"-Yeah, I know, but this is-" Russia tried to continue, only to be interrupted again.
"-Not important enough to wake me up at fuck o'clock in the morning. Seriously, unless World War Three is starting, don't bother calling back until at least noon my time."
Just as he was about to press around for the off button, the most obnoxious noise known to man came over the line.
"But Mattieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-"
If Matthew were more awake, he would have hung up in embarrassment and forgotten the whole odd incident. Seeing as it was just after two in the morning, and his sleep was continuing to be interrupted by the call, he didn't really think much of snapping out, "Tabernac, shut UP Alfred, I swear to Christ you are obnoxious as fuck."
Before he could register his reply and fumble for a half-assed apology, the person on the other side of the line laughed in a half-panicked, half-relieved way. "Oh thank god, I didn't know if that'd work or not. Mattie, seriously, there's a huge problem."
"...Alfred?" Matthew was starting to wake up, frowning as his eyes finally opened. "Why do you sound like-"
"The commie bastard?" Alfred replied. "Probably because for some reason I woke up as him this morning and I'm trying not to freak out more than I already am?"
"Well, shit." Any chance of this being a prank had long faded from his mind - no one else on the planet could replicate the exact annoying tone Alfred used on him when he whined. It was probably a twin thing, actually. "Did you piss off Arthur again or something?"
"That's just it - if I had, I'd at least know why this happened and could fix it, but I haven't even talked to him for, like, two weeks, and when I called him he didn't sound hungover at all."
Matthew sat up, rubbing at an eye and trying not to yawn. "Wha- what about Norway or Romania?"
A scoff came over the line. "Dude, when was the last time I talked to either of them?"
"No, I meant what if Ivan did something to make them target him, and you got caught up in it?"
A brief pause, during which Matthew couldn't hide a small yawn. "Sounds like a bit of a stretch to me, but I can call them up and ask. You should get back to bed, and I'll call you later if I have any more info."
Never had such an idea sounded better. "Why didn't you just do that in the first place, then, and waited for me to actually be awake?"
"Would you have heard me out if I hadn't?"
Matthew sighed. "Probably not."
A brief laugh came over the line. "Really sorry about that bro, and I'll make it up to ya when all of this is cleared up."
"Mmph, better be something good, or I'm siccing Nanuq on you."
"Apple pie, then?"
Matthew cracked a grin. An apple pie from Alfred? He would commit murder for that. "Sounds good."
"Go to bed then, and… thanks for believing me. Also, if Ivan calls pretending to be me, fuck with him a bit."
Matthew rolled his eyes. "Go make your calls and let me sleep, you ass, before I change my mind."
"Oh, shit, sorry- night, Mattie!" And with that the call ended, Matthew placing the phone back into its slot before rolling over and curling back into bed.
'So much for a calm weekend,' he thought to himself before he slipped back into wonderful sleep.
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AN: Because seriously, why would Alfred even bother to hide it when he was bodyswapped with someone when it only makes it that much harder to change back? It seems a bit silly to me when he has the easiest backup imaginable in the form of his brother.
Well, at least when he can bribe him to help.