Chapter Thirty-Seven
Have You Ever Loved Someone That You Would Die For
Have You Ever Walked Too Far Out On A Limb
Have You Ever Chased A Dream Too High To Reach For And Pulled It In
Truth Is, Every Man Dies
Not Every Man Lives
Roughly around 1:00 PM Vermont Cabin
"So," Kat began as she carefully swallowed the bite of her sandwich before continuing. "Tell me more about Parker. She really intrigues me; she sounds like a ton of fun."
She smiled over her sandwich at Eliot who sat across from her at the small kitchen table. He'd managed to eat almost all his sandwich considering the size of the things after he'd finished making them and she was truly impressed with the man. She knew most people couldn't stomach that much solid food so soon after such major surgery, but this man seemed to throw all the normal stuff out the window when it came to his healing. She was willing to bet his system was just as normal as everyone else's, but he had one thing others didn't. Determination. He knew he needed to heal faster than normal, so he just put his mind over his body and did what needed to be done. She wasn't sure if that was always a good thing, but she could understand it, especially now that he'd explained things to her; about his team and the jobs they did and his job to protect them.
"Figures you'd focus in on Parker." Eliot scoffed as he pushed his plate away and reached for his glass of tea. He took a drink then relished the sweet goodness and took another long drag from the glass. No one, and he meant no one had ever been able to make sweet tea like his mamma. Not even Emma could match that taste. Eliot knew it was a southern thing, but it was really the one thing he missed the most. He hated restaurants that gave you unsweet iced tea and expected you to get sugar to dissolve in that. No, you had to add the sugar when it was still hot. Damn, if he didn't already have an attraction to this woman, this tea would have sealed the deal. He smiled at her over the rim of his glass before draining the it.
"Why not? They all sound like a great team, but Parker just seems like she'd be so much fun to hang with. Don't get me wrong, I want to hear about all of them, but I just feel a connection to Parker." Kat said with a smile, reaching for the tea pitcher and refilling his glass and taking note he'd already had two glasses. "You'd better slow down there. Too much sugar won't help hydrate you, you know."
"Can't be helped. I haven't had tea like this since my mamma-" He cut off abruptly as his mind went to his mother. Going there would mean giving away too much about himself, and that was always something you never did, especially with women. It was one thing to sweet talk them and promise them that he'd do whatever he could to please them with the time they had, but it was another to open that door to your personal self. No, he couldn't do that; but this woman had saved him from his brother, and she wasn't just any ordinary woman.
Kat watched the war raging behind Eliot's eyes. It was always about his damned eyes, she thought. He wanted to speak freely, but he was fighting it, because of who he was and everything he had to do; everything, and she meant everything went through this man's eyes. No wonder he didn't like to make eye contact that much.
"Your mamma's gone now, isn't she?" She questioned softly. At his brisk nod, she smiled gently. "Mine, too. Dad before her. For a long time, it was just me and my two brothers, then they were taken from me, too. All I really have is Quinn, and Sam and Bella." She'd already told him about her friends and how they'd helped her to get him here to the cabin; about how they'd help protect him too.
Eliot brushed his hair back from his face with one hand as he watched her. "Two brothers?"
"Yeah." She replied softly as she cleared her throat. "You knew Luke and I'm gonna ask you about that, but later. I don't want to really think about that right now."
He reached over and gently covered her hand that had moved to pick at the remainder of her sandwich on her plate. He gently closed around her hand and pulled it away from the plate. "Don't pick at your food." He smiled as she watched his hand wrapped around hers. "Yes, I knew Luke. He was a good man."
"Yes, he was."
"So... I know he was younger because he told me about his older sister, he showed me and Quinn your picture when you were pregnant; but I don't remember him taking about a brother."
Kat turned to wistfully stare out the window over the sink in the kitchen. It was cloudy and overcast and she could feel the chill slowly creeping into the room. She knew she'd have to go out and gather up some more firewood, but she didn't want to move right now. Eliot's touch was very comforting and for some reason she knew she could trust him.
"I'm not just a nurse, Eliot."
He tilted his head slightly to the side as he listened. "No, I've gathered that much. Tell me what exactly you are, Kat?"
She drew in a deep breath as she looked at their hands on the table. "I was married once... to a not so nice man..."
Eliot didn't interrupt or encourage her to continue. He knew she'd tell him; she just needed to do it in her own time, so he just sat and held her hand in his.
"A really bad not so nice man. My husband, Adam was in the military too. Just like Luke and Joe, my older brother. In fact, he was good friends with Joe from high school. Kind of like Quinn and Luke, but Adam and Joe had a falling out." She closed her eyes as she thought back to that day. "Joe found out just how not nice Adam was to me and he tried to help me. I'd been married to Adam for a while, but Joe had always seen through all my lies. He never pushed though. I guess he didn't want to believe his friend could be the abusive kind, you know what I mean? But he finally started questioning the bruises he'd see on my arms, my shoulder once... but when he saw the bruises on my neck, he knew he couldn't just ask questions anymore. He knew I wasn't going to tell him. I was afraid of..." She took in a deep breath and felt Eliot as he gently squeezed her hand. "Truth is, I wasn't really afraid of Adam for myself. I was more afraid for my brothers, and my daughter." She slowly opened her eyes to see Eliot watching her with his gentle blue ones. Damn it she thought, I don't mind telling him, but getting this emotional wasn't part of it. I shouldn't still be this emotional.
"Adam have a high-ranking position in the military?" He paused as he took in her nod. "He could hurt your family, couldn't he?" He asked softly. Kat quickly met Eliot's gaze at how fast he'd made the connection. "It's a story I've heard before, Kat. You're not the first person to have to deal when your family is threatened by someone with military connections. Maybe the first to have to put up with abuse, but not the first to have to tolerate something to protect your family. We've all been there."
"Well, maybe..." She paused as he reached over to wipe his thumb across her cheek, and she was amazed to realize that she'd been crying as well. "I... I'm sorry..." She began.
Eliot reached out and placed that same thumb over her lips. "Don't... don't ever say that."
Kat felt the intimate touch and longed to kiss that thumb, but she managed to control herself and when he slowly pulled his hand away from her face, she tried hard not to whimper at the loss of his touch.
"Anyway, one thing led to another and well, Joe forced Adam's hand. Joe thought he'd take his anger out on him, but he didn't. He took it out on me and when Joe found me, he went after Adam in a blind rage. It... it didn't end well... and no one dared not believe Adam's story... and I was still too weak to speak up for my own brother..."
"He killed your brother?" She nodded at his quiet question. "But you didn't leave him then, did you?"
She looked at him. "No. I had no money, he made sure of that and I had no friends. I'd graduated from nursing school and was a nurse when I met Adam, but that had all stopped when we got married and I had my daughter. Then I found out I was pregnant again and well I couldn't get out." She turned to face the window over the sink again. "I lost that baby at almost five months." She added softly.
Eliot looked at her and he could hear it in her voice. He gripped her hand tighter as he listened to her. "Did..." He cleared his throat at the sudden lump. "Was Adam responsible for that?"
She turned back and offered Eliot a watery smile as she felt the tears now sliding down her face. "Yes. And he was responsible the first time it happened too. I had a miscarriage early in the marriage, then I got pregnant with my daughter Hannah, and by some miracle I delivered her just before Joe...died. Then this ... it was my third pregnancy and that time Adam did a much better job."
Eliot looked at her carefully to make sure he didn't miss her meaning. "You can't... you can't have children anymore?" He asked softly.
Kat looked deep into his eyes and felt new tears slip down her face. She probably was a mess but bless him he didn't look at her like she was. He was in fact fighting his own form of anger. "No, I can't."
Eliot gritted his teeth as he felt that familiar anger slowly burning in his soul. The anger he saved for the really bad guys he fought every time they faced a big bad guy. "I'm hoping Adam is no longer alive."
"No, he's dead." She took a deep breath as she felt the burden of holding this in for so long. "I killed him... I killed him when I killed my daughter..." She bent her head because she couldn't look at him when she told him this. He may have been kind, but when he found out she'd killed her daughter, then she knew he'd hate her just as much she truly deserved.
"Tell me."
She looked up at him. His voice wasn't angry, it was kind of... curious. He wanted to hear her tell it. "I can't go through that Eliot. I can't..." His grip on her hands tightened and he leaned across the table closer to her.
"Tell me about it. Tell me everything and then tell me again you killed your daughter."
She opened her mouth not sure what to say. "I killed my husband with Quinn's help and my daughter died, too. Isn't that enough? What more do you want me to say, Eliot?"
"I want you to tell me the truth. The truth you won't allow yourself to believe. Because I may not everything there is to know you, but in these past few days, there is one thing I can tell about you and that's the fact you don't kill without a reason and your daughter, no matter how old she was, would never give you a reason to kill her. I know you didn't kill her. Not on purpose and I want you to know that as well."
She looked at him as he moved his hand to grip her upper arm and pull her closer to him over the table. His grip was strong, but he wasn't hurting her...yet. Then as she felt his grip tighten, she gasped when he moved slowly to grip her other arm. "Eliot?" She questioned as he slowly pulled them both up from the table.
"Tell me what Adam was doing when you killed him. Tell me." His grip tightened as he felt her react to his hold over her. She went still. She was fighting a battle within herself and he knew he had her. She wanted desperately to break free of him, but she was refusing to do so because she didn't want to hurt him. He knew in that instant that if this woman was this worried about hurting him, she would have been ten times more worried about hurting her own flesh and blood, her daughter. She didn't kill her daughter and he knew that beyond a doubt. He slowly smiled a slightly wicked smile as his grip tightened even more.
"Eliot, you're beginning to hurt me. Let me go." She tried to pull away from him, but she didn't want to hurt him. She knew he was stronger than her even hurt, but she just couldn't let herself hurt him any more than he already was. "Let...me...go." She turned hard eyes on him now.
"Make me." He turned her quickly and before she knew what he was doing, he had one arm around her upper body holding her shoulders tightly against his firm body. His other hand went in for her throat. "Make me stop hurting you." His hand gripped her firmly around her neck just as he suspected Adam would have done.
Kat felt something snap as she remembered what had happened over ten years ago. She felt Adam pulling her arm behind her as she fought him that night. He had one hand around her throat choking her while his other held her arm tightly against her back.
She was supposed to grab Hannah and get the hell out. Adam wasn't supposed to be coming back... Adam was supposed to die in a car crash, but here he was back at their house catching her as she loaded Hannah in her car.
She struggled as she felt her arm being tightened behind her to its limit. She could hear Hannah crying when she finally screamed from the sharp pain as the bones in her arm finally snapped from the pressure he'd forced on it. Then suddenly she was free. He'd pushed her into his car and the next thing she knew he'd thrown their five-year-old daughter in next to her and he was behind the wheel. They were in his car; Adam's car. God, they needed to get out of here. She needed to get Hannah safe. Adam's car was supposed to crash. Quinn had planted the device to take out the brake system. Hannah wasn't supposed to be here. She cradled her daughter to her as the child cried. She couldn't do much else with one arm already broken, but she prayed hard. She fought the pain and tears as she felt the car suddenly skid around a curve and she knew this was it.
Eliot watched as he slowly let Kat go and took in how she was cradling her right arm and falling to the floor. H could see she wasn't seeing him anymore. He'd managed to make her see that time all over and he just hoped she'd see that it wasn't her fault that her daughter was dead.
Kat sat there for what felt like an eternity. When she finally stopped crying and focused in on him, he knew she was back, and she was seeing him. "You are a son of a bitch, Eliot Spencer!" She spat at him from the floor.
He carefully got down on his knees and reached for her. When she fought his touch, he just firmly took hold of her wrists and held them tightly as he pulled her into his lap and into his hold. He held tightly as she fought him, and he gently held her as she cried and called him every name she probably knew. And no matter what she said or tried; he didn't move one inch to let her free.
He held her until she finally fell into his hold and allowed him to cradle her to him. He let go of her wrists and wrapped his arms tightly around her as he stroked her hair. He gently kissed her on the top of her head while she spilled the whole story out and he didn't interrupt her when she finally let all her pain flow out with each word. And he was still holding her hours later as the cabin began to grow colder.
He could tell she'd cried herself to sleep in his hold and as he took in the setting sun outside the cabin, he carefully got up still cradling her to his injured chest and carried her to the bedroom. Just as he laid her down on the bed, he took in the slight glint that shone off the nightstand's metal alarm clock. He stiffened as he turned to see headlights glaring through the drawn curtains.
They had company and he didn't know who'd found them, but he knew two things for sure in that instant. One, he wasn't going down again without a fight and two, no one was going to hurt Kat ever again. Not while he was here.