CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
THE GAME
The month of December passed in a blur. Before they even knew it they were celebrating Christmas and exchanging gifts. Deidara had given Jade a pair of gold brushed rose earrings. Nagato had gotten Konan a navy blue woven bracelet with amber colored beads weaved throughout it, and a large powder blue flower, similar to the one she wore in her hair, on the center.
The only problem there was, was with the mistletoe. Kim had gotten stuck under the mistletoe with Hinata more than once, and they took it like champs and kissed every time; Hinata having initiated the first kiss, stating that it really wasn't the first time. When Naruto and Sasuke got stuck under there, they refused to kiss. No one let them leave until they did so, and the next morning all the mistletoe had been taken down and burned.
They were all sitting around the living room Christmas evening after eating dinner. They were watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, while drinking Ren's special Mexican hot chocolate.
"So guys," Ren called out, getting everyone's attention, though most didn't look away from the movie. "What do you guys think about spending New Years in Mexico?" That got certainly got their attention.
"M-Mexico," Jade managed to sputtered out, hot chocolate dribbling down her chin.
"Yeah, well not exactly Mexico, but an island just off the coast of Guatemala. I thought it would be nice to get out of town for a while," the man explained, gauging their reactions. "I did some research and found this resort that had its own water park and a spa. It looked good, and it's even located on a private beach."
"Yes," Kim and Jade exploded at the same time, his daughter jumping to her feet.
"Wait," Kim said, halting her dancing. "How are we going to get there? Jade's car can't take the mileage, we won't all fit in your truck, and I refuse to get on a plane."
"Why won't you get on a plane," Itachi asked.
"She has a fear of planes, and heights," Jade responded, looking back to Ren expectantly.
"I already thought of that," Ren reassured his daughter, trying not to laugh at her panicked expression. "I'm going to get a rental van for the trip. No Jade, it's not one of those soccer mom vans. It's a van that seats up to twelve people." He looked over to his daughter with distaste. "Kinda like the one you heathens used to ride to get to Sunday school, before you got kicked out for referring to yourself as the Spawn of Satan."
Kim giggled. "That old woman called me the Anti-Christ, I just went with it."
"But there's thirteen of us, 'ttebayo," Naruto asked seeing the look on Ren's face, and trying to avoid the awkward father-daughter argument that was sure to happen.
"For once, the idiot is right," Sasuke said. Before Naruto could utter a word Ren spoke again.
"Well I guess one of you will have to sit on someone's lap." He didn't really care, since he was going to be either driving or in the passenger's seat.
"Fine, but it's winter and we don't have swimsuits," Kim stated. The last swimsuit she owned was a blue one-piece she last wore when she was ten.
"Don't worry about that, I've already taken care of it," Jade assured with a wave of her hand. "Remember when we went on a shopping spree with my father's stolen credit card? I wanted to be prepared, so I bought us some, but no one can see them until we get there."
"I can always go to the gift shop," Kim muttered with a pout, leaning into Kakashi's side, the man patting her on the head.
"When are we leaving," Nagato asked.
"Tomorrow morning. We'll be staying there until next Sunday. So pack your bags and make sure you don't forget anything," Ren informed as he walked to his room.
That night the ninja had sealed their weapons in scrolls after Ren had told them that the border patrol would search the vehicle for them, though his intention was for them to just leave them behind. Being ninja they were trained to expect the unexpected, and refused to leave their weapons behind. Jade had stolen scrolls from Deidara, and sealed away practically her entire closet along with everyone else's'. If Mexico were to suddenly be hit with a snow storm they would be prepared.
After threats of bodily harm and Deidara rationalizing that it would look suspicious if they traveled with empty bags, Jade relinquished the other's clothes and left them to pack their duffle bags and suitcases on their own.
Ren decided to show them all the van they would be traveling in. He stood with his arms spread wide, showcasing the van.
"Dad it's a white van," Kim stated when she saw the van that they were going to spend twenty-eight hours in.
"What's wrong with the color," Ren asked confused.
"It's the pedo-mobile," Jade dubbed the van.
"The what?" Ren was still as confused as ever.
"Honestly dad, don't you watch TV? The pedophiles always drive white vans," Kim explained. How could he not know that?
Naruto burst out laughing at the sudden mental image he got of Orochimaru driving a white van with a large smile on his face, and Sasuke bound and gagged in the back. When he calmed down enough, he explained to the others what was so funny, making everyone laugh at the younger Uchiha's expense.
In the end, Ren had to trade in the van, and got a black one that had twelve seats.
"They also drive ice cream trucks. They try to lure out the kids with promises of sweet treats and then they nab them," Jade added, trying to be helpful.
The shinobi all pictured Orochimaru driving an ice cream truck with a smile on his face, and luring Sasuke out with ice cream. Poor Sasuke, the guy could never catch a break. He didn't even like sweets.
It was at nine in the morning when everyone had woken up, and gotten ready to leave. No one wanted to get dressed only to spend practically a day and a half in a van, and opted to wear lounge clothes. They put all their bags in the back of the van, and then gathered to discuss seating arrangements.
"I call shotgun," Kim shouted, running towards the van. She had just gotten the door open when Nagato came up from behind her, lifted her and put her down off to the side.
"Sorry tiny, maybe next time," Nagato told her from the front seat. He had already closed the door.
"Wasn't Tiny the name of your dog as a kid," Konan asked. Kim said nothing, and it worried the redhead.
Ren was driving, and Nagato was in the passenger's seat. Kim ended up sitting in the seat behind Nagato, with Konan next to her, and Kakashi by the window. Itachi, Hana, and Deidara with Jade in his lap, were in the seats behind them. In the backseat, Hinata and Sakura had to sit in between Naruto and Sasuke who stared grumpily out their windows.
"Stop kicking my seat," Nagato hissed, straining against his seatbelt to glare at the girl.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that I was doing anything," Kim replied with a face of pure innocence.
"Listen you little-"
"Hey, whatever happened to Coco," the dark eyed girl asked, raising an eyebrow at the redhead.
"Hey Kim," Jade diverted the girl's attention much to the relief of everyone in the van. They didn't need to hear Nagato moan over the loss of his dog. Coco turned out to be named Lucy, and she belonged to a, spoiled in the older Uzumaki's opinion, eight year old girl. When he and Konan had gone to take the dog to the park a few days before Jade's birthday, the child's mother recognized the furry creature and immediately explained what had happened. Pictures and the fact that the dog responded to Lucy, proved that Coco was indeed the missing family pet. In the end, Nagato had to give up his companion to the bawling child, and proceeded to spend the next few day sulking.
"What," Kim snapped as she was forced to trade seats with Konan. When she made another attempt to kick the redhead's seat, Kakashi lifted her up, slid to the middle and placed her down in his previous seat.
"Haven't we met before," Jade asked jokingly.
"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic," Kim replied catching on. Then she asked, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
"You two are idiots," Ren muttered, attempting to pass up a slow driver.
"You're just jealous," Jade said as she and Kim stuck their tongues out at him. Then she turned back to Kim. "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
"It's in the phone book."
"But I don't know your name."
"That's in the phone book, too."
"I wanna play too, 'ttebayo," Naruto shouted.
"Okay, all you have to do is come up with a pick-up line, and another person has to come up with a comeback. The person who answers has to come up with another, and then it goes on like that," Jade explained the game.
"Okay! Um… oh I know. If I could see you naked, I'd die happy, dattebayo!" Sakura was about to bash him on the head.
"Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing," Kim retorted. "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
"Unfertilized!" Hinata was the one to answer. She blushed when everyone turned to look at her. "I want to give myself to you."
"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts," Konan replied. ""Hey, baby, What's your sign?"
"Stop." It was Nagato that time. "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
"You mean you've got both a Jell-O filled pool and a jump rope," Kim asked. They all looked at her funny, and she only shrugged. "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species," Deidara said smirking. Kim glared at him. "I would go to the end of the world for you."
"Yes, but would you stay there," Hana asked. "May I see you pretty soon?"
"Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?" Everyone turned to stare at Itachi, not expecting that from the stoic man. "I would go to the end of the world for you."
"Yes, but would you stay there?" Deidara thought for a moment. "Your body is like a temple."
"Sorry, there are no services today." That time it was Sakura. "I'd go through anything for you."
"Good! Let's start with your bank account," Konan chirped. "What sign were you born under?"
"No Parking," Kakashi said, deciding to join in. "Is this seat empty?"
"Yes and this one will be too if you sit down," Hana came back. "Ugh, I can't think of one!"
"What are the worst pick-up line you've ever heard," Ren suggested. At the very least they weren't fighting anymore.
"I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house," Sasuke said. They gave him looks. He gave them a one worded answer that explained everything. "Fangirls."
"At the hospital back home some guy told me this one. "Hi, my name is Pogo; want to jump on my stick," Sakura shared.
"At work some random guy came up to me and said 'Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?' I almost hit him," Kim said. After that one they all started saying the worst pick-up lines they had been told or just made one up.
"Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw."
"Just call me milk; I'll do your body good."
"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock."
"My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going."
"That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too."
"I enjoy doing maintenance; you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with."
"If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous."
"Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants."
"I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?"
"I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter."
"Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long."
"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."
"Oh, I'm sorry; I thought that was a braille name tag."
"Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine."
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"
"You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what's one more going to hurt?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?"
"I love every bone in your body—especially mine."
"I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?"
"You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy."
"My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot."
"You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala."
"Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams."
"I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room."
"Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo."
"You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that."
"The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue."
"Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth."
They had to stop at the Mexican-American border at around lunchtime. There they had the car searched for anything suspicious before they could move along. Once across the border, they decided to stop in the border town for lunch. Ren and Kim could speak fluent Spanish thanks to their heritage, but they were not prepared for the speed the woman taking their orders spoke. "Tacos y gorditas y..."
Sometime after that, in the early evening, almost everyone started dancing and singing along to 'Call Me Maybe' by Carly Rae Jepson. Hinata had recorded it all.
Ren had gotten tired and had asked Nagato to drive at some time around eight. Nagato had misheard the directions on the GPS, and had taken them way off course. After arguing with Nagato to stop and ask for directions, Kim finally kicked him out of the driver's seat and took the wheel. When she passed a gas station she stopped and asked for directions while everyone loaded up on bottled drinks and junk food, the biggest can of Red Bull she could find and a bag of beef jerky. With everyone back in the van, she got them back on track and continued to drive for another eight hours before switching off.
Kim pulled into a gas station at a quarter to five in the morning. Once everyone was back in the van after relieving themselves and picking up more snacks, Jade took the wheel. To prevent any arguments between the redhead and the black haired girl, Konan sat in the middle of the seat with Nagato to her left, while Kakashi pulled the girl onto his lap as she fell asleep curled into his left side. The blond drove for five hours, before switching off with a fully rested Ren.
Five hours later, they started to catch glimpses go the ocean glistening in the distance. Finding a place to park the van, Ren lead his group of cramped and exhausted delinquents on a short walk to a restaurant for a late lunch. Pulling out the brochure, Ren read through it. He asked a waitress how to get to the ferry that would take them to the island resort, only to find that they had just missed it and the next ride over wouldn't be until six as it was a two hour trip.
They ate their meals in silence, a rarity since the arrival of the ninja. But it was expected, they were all tired. After paying for their food, they were left with four hours until they could catch the ferry. For three of those hours the large group spend them wandering the streets of the small coast town. With once hour to spare, they piled into the van and made their way to the line for the ferry. It took an hour for the boat to be completely boarded, and then they were off. With the van parked in the designated area, everyone made their way to the deck, enjoying the fresh air.
The water was illuminated by the glow of the moon, as was the white sand. They drove down the ramp and up the long road that was lined with palm trees that led them to the entrance of the resort. They had arrived at the resort five hours later than scheduled. From what they could see in the dark, the resort was enormous. The entire building was made out of white stone. In the distance they could see the tops of the tallest roller-coasters and waterslides.
Everyone was too tired when they got their things off of the van. Carrying their respective bags they all walked into the lobby. Ren walked up to the check-in desk. The receptionist handed him an envelope that contained all the key card he requested. After that, he led them to the elevator that would take them to their rooms. The room was on the top floor. It was a presidential suite.
The room was beautiful and large. It was bigger than the loft. The floors were a cream colored polished stone. There was a living room area and a kitchen area with a large round dining room table. In the living room there was a large flat screen TV, and sunset orange couches and matching arm chairs chairs. There were seven rooms in total with queen sized beds and their own bathrooms. The rooms were all decorated the same way. The back wall, where the beds were pushed up against, was painted the same sunset orange. The beds had soft white sheets, a mountain of pillows, some were white and some were orange, there was an orange blanket folded on the foot of the bed, and above the beds were white canopies. In front of the beds were wooden benches. There were dresser, made of polished cinder oak, was pushed up against the wall in front of the beds with a small flat screen TV on top. Only two of the rooms had views of the beach. Those rooms had blackout curtains.
"I call the room with a view," Kim shouted running towards the rooms, struggling to pull her suitcase and duffle bag along.
"I'm bunking with Kim," Sakura yelled running after the girl.
"Dad, can I bunk with Dei," Jade begged Ren. "I promise we won't do anything."
"I really don't care who you bunk with, because I trust you," Ren told her. "But I'm getting the other room with the view." With that he ran off. Nagato and Konan shared a room, Kakashi and Naruto, Hinata and Hana, and Sasuke and Itachi. They all took their belongings to their rooms and collapsed onto their beds, and slept in until noon.