Their lips met in a soft kiss that was devoid of electricity. The kiss had no spark, but Pacey deepened it anyway. He pulled her body tightly against his. His kiss was fueled by desire: a desire to only want sex, to not care about whether he felt the butterflies. Pacey continued to kiss her while his hands wandered to her ass. His strong arms lifted her off her feet as she wrapped her legs around his waist. A small moan escaped her as Pacey carefully placed her on the counter. His body responded instinctively, but his heart beat steadily. His hands were dry, and their movements rehearsed. Pacey kissed her again relishing what he did not feel. He did not feel the heavy fear of rejection – he knew how the girl in front of him felt and what she wanted. He also did not feel the burden of guilt – guilt associated with the possibility of betraying his best friend or that he might somehow be responsible for disrupting the balance of their small universe. An imbalance caused because he had the audacity to think he might be worthy of a spot on the bed; a spot next to her. Their kissing became more desperate and Pacey's hands moved to unbutton her sweater. Jen's hands moved under Pacey's shirt feeling his strong chest.
A voice interrupted their grope fest, "What the hell?!" The two would-be sexual partners stopped their clandestine activities and froze before turning around to determine the source of their interruption. Pacey found himself hoping that the voice belonged to a lone Dawson. He determined it would even be acceptable if it belonged to Mitch – as long as he didn't have to turn around to see Joey's dark eyes looking at him in judgment while he had a hard on for their mutual friend. Pacey swallowed hard preparing to face the inevitable. He turned from Jen to see Dawson standing in the doorway. Dawson shook his head in disbelief and began to chuckle as Jen hopped down from the counter. Pacey's body began to calm until Dawson moved to the side to reveal Joey whose mouth was dropped open. Jen laughed nervously as she began to button her sweater. Pacey felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach in response to what appeared to be genuine hurt on Joey's face. "So let me repeat myself, what the hell, guys?" Dawson asked.
"D, hey man, fancy seeing you here," Pacey began.
"Not really, Pacey, you're in my kitchen," Dawson responded matter-of-factly.
"That we are, Dawson," Pacey conceded. Jen finished straightening her clothes and turned her attention to her rustled hair.
"So how long has this been going on?" Dawson asked motioning to the two friends in front of him.
"Oh, we're not a thing. Just two friends who agreed to enjoy additional … benefits," Jen suggested. Pacey nodded his head to demonstrate agreement with her statement. He looked at Joey whose mouth was now closed in a tight, thin line. Her dark eyes seemed to burn into his.
"Benefits?! That has to be one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard!" Joey said breaking her silence. "You're both going to get hurt by this," she added.
"No one is going to be hurt by this," Pacey began carefully. "This isn't about emotions. Just an agreement between friends."
"You're not this dumb, Pacey. I know you like to pretend you are, but you're not. Or maybe I'm just stupid enough to believe that you aren't," Joey started her feelings escalating with every word. "You barely survived the last heartbreak, so what now? Give up on love? On anything that matters? Is sex really that important to you?" she demanded. "Is that why we spend so much time working on a boat that you named True Love, so that you can have meaningless sex with a friend? What happened to dream big? Because this looks an awful lot like settling. Settling for less than frankly either of you deserve because you've allowed yourself to make dim-witted decisions based on some misguided pretense that you're actually helping each other," her words shot out of her mouth like daggers. Joey looked at Jen with an aura of disgust before turning her full attention to Pacey. Where he had expected to see judgment written all over her face, he saw none. Her face contained a mixture of pain, disappointment, confusion, and something else that Pacey could not quite identify. "Seriously, why do I even bother?" Joey asked tentatively before turning and abruptly walking out of the kitchen.
Dawson offered his friends a small smile. He walked to the cabinet behind Jen and removed a small bowl. "This is all we wanted," he laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and turned to follow Joey out of the kitchen.
Jen and Pacey looked at each other uneasily. "You like her," Jen stated. Pacey opened his mouth to protest, but she beat him to it. "There's no need to deny it. Not to me. You like Joey. If we weren't friends or if you were an asshole, you would be chasing after her right now. I can see it in your face," she concluded.
"It's just, well, she seemed … upset," Pacey stammered.
"Of course she was upset. She likes you too," she observed. Pacey again opened his mouth, but Jen simply shook her head. "Listen, I have been the target of Joey Potter's scorn before and that look was a dead give away of her jealousy."
"In case you don't remember, I was also there when you swept in to steal the object of Joey's affection, and it was much more brutal than that," he stated.
"True, but there are other contributing factors. First, Joey and I are friends now, so I would hope that she would be a little less bitchy this go around. Second, you are much less oblivious than Dawson, and she knows it. If she responded to you in the same way she had Dawson, you would know why. Maybe she's not ready to admit her feelings," she explained.
"I don't know, Jen, maybe. I do know that I didn't pursue sex with you to make Joey jealous. I'm still not convinced that she actually is jealous so much as disappointed or scandalized, but regardless that wasn't my intention," Pacey explained. "Jen, you and I are friends. I care about you, so it's important to me that you know that," he added.
"I know, Pace. You're a good guy. I don't think you would do such a thing. If you weren't a good friend, I never would have suggested this. Despite what Joey thinks, I did not come to this decision lightly," she explained. "Besides, I was using you, or at least I was planning to," Jen added.
"You were?" Pacey asked confused.
"Yep, for orgasms, remember?" she stated nonchalantly. They both laughed quietly together.
Joey was nowhere to be found when Pacey returned to Dawson's room to retrieve his coat. Pacey quickly said goodbye to Dawson, but did not dare ask him about Joey's whereabouts. Pacey was silently relieved to see that his actions hadn't somehow sent her into Dawson's arms. Since she wasn't with Dawson, Pacey assumed she must be at home on her coach by now because she had stormed out of the kitchen so quickly.
Pacey walked out of the Leery house and paused on the front porch. To his surprise, he saw a figure sitting quietly in the passenger seat of the Witter Wagoneer. He opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat. He put the key into the ignition, but turned to look at Joey before starting the car. "You left so quickly, I wasn't sure if you were still here," he said.
"Yeah, well, I didn't feel like taking Dawson's boat," Joey stated simply. She continued to stare straight ahead.
Accepting her response, Pacey started the car and began the drive to her house. The two sat in silence for the entirety of the drive. Hoping that Joey would finally speak to him, Pacey put the car into park after pulling into her driveway. She undid her seat belt and sighed heavily as she turned to face him.
"Look, Pace, I'm sorry I overreacted. Your sex life is none of my business," Joey began. "For a second I thought maybe it might be, but I was wrong. You didn't ask for my opinion, so I really shouldn't have said anything."
"No, I appreciate what you said. I mean, you had a point, I think I have kinda given up on love. It just seems so … unattainable," he said honestly.
"Why because you're 16 and alone? That's ridiculous. I understand the feeling, but the Pacey I know wouldn't give up that easily," Joey challenged.
Pacey considered her words carefully. Despite his inclination toward pessimism, at least where his own life was concerned, he began to feel hopeful. "I think you may be right," he initiated.
"Wait, say that again," she teased. Her mouth turned into a small smile. Pacey determined that they were on their way back to the comfortable banter that characterized their relationship. He smiled broadly back at her.
"It's not nice to gloat, Potter. I'm trying to be serious over here," Pacey whined. Joey animatedly changed her face to reflect his words. "Is that your serious face?" he asked with a chuckle. Joey nodded giving him her complete attention. "I need your help, Jo. It's no secret that I'm not the best at expressing my emotions. I don't want to always retreat to humor, silence, or sex, but I really don't know how to react any other way. I'm good at those things."
"You are, huh?" Joey asked blushing slightly.
"Yes, I am," he answered with his voice low. "You've said yourself that humor and silence are my go-tos. And sex? Well, I could show you how good I am at that, and let you judge for yourself," Pacey said refusing to miss an opportunity for an innuendo.
"Pacey, you've already been wildly inappropriate with one friend tonight, in another friend's house, I might add," she stated with a roll of her eyes. "I do have an idea of how I might be able to help with your stunted emotional growth," she considered. "May actually be helpful for me too." Pacey waggled his eyebrows at her, and she reached across the seat to slug him. "You're on thin ice, Witter."
"It was just a suggestion," he attempted innocently. "Jen and I never did have sex. What you saw was the closest we got."
"Looked pretty hot and heavy to me," Joey said quietly.
"Nah, Jen is a great friend, but together? We have none of the all-important chemistry," Pacey concluded.
Joey sat in silence for a moment considering Pacey's statement. Before she could say anything further, a light turned on inside the house. "Oh hey, it looks like Bodie might be home already. Wanna come in? He always brings the best food home with him."
"Hell yes, I do. Dawson's snacks were pretty lame … advanced screening, my ass. Not that I was able to really eat any from my spot on the periphery any way," Pacey answered. Joey got out of the car and closed the door. Pacey joined her as they walked together up to the house. "So what's your big idea?" he asked.
"Later, Witter. Just keep your pants on," Joey replied. Then reflecting on the humor of her statement, she added, "Seriously do because you're lucky I'm even inviting you into my kitchen after what you pulled tonight."
"Very funny, Potter," he said with an embarrassed smile.