Chapter six:
Weddings were always dull affairs. The usual romance was enough to make even the steel stomached nauseous but Rose was sickly for another reason.
The bouquet was beautiful, made up of white lilies. She carried it as she hurried along the pavement following the sound of the church bells. She rushed up the steps and into the church with more sound than she expected to make.
It wasn't packed out, but she didn't expect it to be. There was just a handful of guests. Each one of them with their eyes on her and she felt her cheeks turn a crimson right away.
She apologised as she held up the bouquet. She had promised such a thing.
She took a moment to sit, right at the back out of the way of prying eyes and she removed her hat before she allowed herself to take a look at him.
Jack.
The one person she loved. Beside him stood Louise. She was beautiful in such a slender and girlish way with her straight dark hair down to her waist. Their hands were joined, they were almost one. The tears spilled right away and it was then she knew this was the worst idea she could have possibly ever conjured in her head.
She had walked away from him and left him crying for her on Santa Monica pier just two days before. She hadn't gone far...back to the hotel. She couldn't leave. She had to see him marry. For only then would it be real in her head. Once he belonged to another, that was when she would leave, forever.
As the vicar began the Bible passage, Rose wiped her eyes. She could pass it off as joy. Of course, it was far from happiness. Her stomach was in knots, her heart was sinking further and her lip was so sore from spending hours biting at it just to give her something to think of. Jack began to glance back at her. His single stare was enough to cause fresh tears to fall. He had told her that he loved her, just yesterday. He loved her, she loved him. She wanted to run out and hope with all of her heart that he followed her so that they could go away. She had given him that option the day before and he had turned it down.
Why was she here?
He wouldn't stop staring at her. His eyes connected with hers and it was as though he wouldn't allow them to waver. She couldn't stop. This was his wedding and she longed for him. Her ears were ringing, it was getting louder and louder until it deafened her. She grasped her stomach as she tried to not let out an almighty sob.
She shook her head vigorously. A sign for him to look away. Please, she begged him with her eyes. Just turn away and look at your love.
He didn't.
He shook his head.
''Actually-I just need to say something...''
Her hand came to her mouth. She watched as he let go of Louise's hand ever so slightly.
What could he possibly have to say?
…
Jack struggled for a second. His heart and his head were still pulling him in two very different directions but he was listening to neither of them. He just had to do what was right. What was the 'right thing' to do because either way an innocent person would wind up hurt. But right then, in the back of his crazy mind, he heard his own father speak, whether it was from beyond the grave or just Jack's own stupidity leading him to believe such a thing but either way he listened to the words his Father told him. Do what you want, son. Nobody else. Do what makes you happy.
''I believe that when you marry somebody, you must love them with all of your heart,'' he began, ''Alf when you tell me stories of you and your wife, when you speak of that love and the fact you want the same for your beautiful daughter. That makes me know that true love does exist.''
Alf nodded in agreement. ''Wise, wise.''
''The thing is, sir, I am not deserving of your daughter and I never was.'' He bowed his head.
''What do you mean?'' Alf tried to stand but his brother stopped him.
''The truth is, I love you, Louise. But I have loved another before you. A long time before.'' He closed his eyes, trying so hard to find the right words. ''I believed her to have died in a tragedy. I have never told anybody this.''
''What?'' Louise pulled her veil back and for the first time he saw the shining, unshed tears in her deep, dark eyes. ''Jack?''
''I can't marry you.''
Louise's bouquet fell to the floor. Her grip loosening in complete shock. ''Jack?''
''You said you'd marry her! You promised to look after her!'' Alf found the utter strength and anger to stand using the aid of his stick and his brother. ''My little girl, her heart will not be broken!''
Louise said nothing as she openly sobbed in front of Jack. She asked no questions. He wanted to console her. He wanted to love her. He so badly did. He felt the tears shine in his own eyes. Then he glanced to the back of the church. Rose.
He could see the tears, hear the sobs and then he realised he had done the right thing. She was the one he wanted.
''I promised, yes. I promised to look after her. The truth is I meant that. I cannot go back on that. I just cannot become her husband. I am not deserving.''
''No you're not!''
Alf came to his daughter and she flinched at his touch. She believed that she would be walking from this church a married woman. He loved her. He must do.
''Do you still love her?'' Louise wiped her face.
Jack nodded ever so slowly.
''Then why did you fetch me here today? Allow me to believe we were to marry when all along you never planned to? Why get my father all dressed up? Why did it take until now?!'' Each question was screamed louder and louder until eventually Matthew took her to sit away from Jack. He comforted her the best he could.
Jack was out of breath, he was sickened and he wanted so badly to take back any hurt he had caused.
''Because I thought she was dead.'' He could offer no further explanation.
He pulled at the collar on his shirt and he loosened the tie before pulling it off in utter frustration. ''I'm sorry. For any hurt I caused.''
''Just don't come near my daughter again.''
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rose slide out of the bench before rushing out of the door. He set off after her. As he pulled the door, he saw she had taken off into a sprint. He followed her and it didn't take him long to catch up with her. His heart was going so fast he thought it would give in right there.
''Rose!''
He collared her, catching her arm with such a force that they both fell to the ground on the grass.
''Jack, no. You made a mistake.''
She tried to pull away from him.
''No I didn't. I'm not letting you go. Not this time.''
''You have no choice!''
He tried to reason with her. She fought against him to hard. She cried as she battered her fists against his chest. He caught them and she collapsed against him.
''Jack, no!''
''Yes!''
She tried to wriggle away from him once more but he refused to let her go. Her eyes were red and swollen. He had known that she had been crying before entering that damned church.
''Why come? Why come if you know I was going to marry her?''
She felt as though her stomach would pop, it ached past the point of just crying now. ''Because I couldn't help myself.'' She surprised him with her honesty.
With a heavy heart, he placed both of his hands on each of her cheeks and to his surprise, she allowed him to. Had she done fighting?
He sighed heavily. ''The reason I couldn't just leave is because, well, its Louise's father.'' He hung his head, the guilt already eating at him. ''I promised that I would look after her, after Alf died. He has cancer. Terminal.''
''I know.'' Rose sobbed, her words were almost inaudible. ''I saw him.''
She struggled to catch her breathe for a moment and she fell against him.
''That is why I couldn't just leave yesterday.''
''I know.''