Chapter 4

Daenerys tears had finally stopped falling but she could still feel traces of them on her cheeks. Her sadness had been replaced by an overwhelming tiredness, no doubt caused by mental exhaustion rather than physical. Right now she wanted nothing more than sleep, but she also realized that she had been gone for quite a long time. What if they are looking for me? I need to go back! If only I could close my eyes for one minute, just one minute…

"Daenerys!

Dany immediately opened her eyes and looked around, trying to register where the voice came from but she couldn't see anyone. Realizing that she must have fallen asleep, she shook her head in an effort to wake up more fully. Slowly she rose to her feet and nudged her eyes, which still felt heavy from sleep. Before she could call back, the voice shouted again, closer this time.

"Daenerys!"

"Dany looked behind her and to her great surprise, Thorin was standing right where she had entered the glade, maybe twenty meters from where she now was. He stood completely still with his hands down at his sides, his legs slightly apart and his eyes focused on her. The moon shone on his face, making his blue eyes look like two big shiny glass globes. Was it even possible to have such beautiful eyes as he had? No, stop it, now is not the time. She shouted back at him:

"My lord! What are you doing out here? I thought Gandalf had told you all that I wanted to be for myself for a while." It came out louder than she had expected it to, worrying that maybe she should be careful in case there were enemies out there looking for them. Also how would he react to her screaming at him?

"You have been gone for two hours now. You simply cannot walk out here on your own like that for so long. We became worried for you and I decided to go looking for you."

Only him? "Why did you come here on your own, where are the others?"

"Yes. It was Gandalf who wanted me to go out looking for you. My nephews and Balin wanted to join as well but both me and Gandalf insisted that I would look for you alone. There are some things I would like to speak to you about as well."

When he said that, Daenerys felt scared. Had she displeased him so much? Realizing that there was no use in them standing there screaming towards each other, she went over to where he stood in a slow pace and stopped a few meters in front of him. Trying to look proud, she straightened her back, took a deep breath and dared to look him right in the eyes. Then she calmly said:

"How long had you been watching me?"

"Not for more than fifteen minutes or so. I heard and then saw you cry but I did not know what to do. After that you were quiet for quite some time and then your head went down, you were completely still. I realized that you had probably fallen asleep and that's when I decided to call for you."

"So she hadn't been asleep for a long time then? Dany appreciated his honesty and with him saying that he didn't know how to handle someone crying, she actually felt sympathy for him. He seemed like a troubled man, a man who had been so troubled by his own mind for so long that he didn't longer know how to comfort another person. She smiled faintly and also got curious, why did he find it so difficult to comfort others? Of course, Smaug and what he did to the people of the Lonely Mountain must have affected him tremendously. He also didn't seem like someone who would open up about his feelings to anyone. Men, how typical. Thorin was surely a complex man but now she felt it wasn't the time to ask him questions, instead she decided to thank him.

"Thank you for coming and searching for me, I appreciate it. Also thank you for waking me up. I shouldn't have gone this far, I am sorry. You must be angry with me my lord. You said you wanted to talk to me, about what?"

For the first time since they met, Thorin looked at her with kindness. There was warmth in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. He closed the distance between them even more so that they now were just one meter apart. It felt unusual to her, to stand in front of a man who was actually her size.

Was he angry with her? He should be. She had been gone for far too long and it was in his nature to tell her that she had done wrong, especially since she was not from this world. Those people always needed to be told twice. Also, this was a woman and women could be stubborn, that he knew. Still, he didn't feel like that with Daenerys. Instead he felt compassion after seeing her sit there in the glade all alone. He had realized that this was just a young human being who left everything and everyone she knew behind to travel and discover a completely different world. His eyes went from their usual hardness to softness, he felt both his face and himself relax. Even his mind seemed to calm down in a way it hadn't done in several years. Never had he seen someone so vulnerable as Daenerys at that moment. But, she still needed to know that this was not going to be accepted and that she has to follow the rules.

"I would not say I'm angry, but I'm disappointed in you Daenerys Targaryen. You could easily have been killed. There are dangers lurking around every bush, every tree and every stone. When you sat there and had no idea what was happening around you, anything or anyone could have attacked you."

Dany frowned and looked at him with shiny violet eyes. Those eyes had him fascinated the first time he saw them although he didn't show it.

"I did have my sword with me. Do you still think that I cannot defend myself? Even Gandalf trusts me to go out on my own." She still kept her voice rather calm, much to Thorin's surprise.

"That still doesn't mean that you can go as far as you want. Gandalf may be our advisor but I am the leader and it's me you are all supposed to obey. Also, you fell asleep Daenerys. You could be dead in just one moment had someone attacked you!"

His voice rose to a tone he hadn't used yet while speaking to Daenerys. He had promised himself to keep calm but could feel the anger rise, the uncontrollable anger he had been suffering with since Smaug the Terrible destroyed his home. It made him blind, it was almost like he wasn't a part of this world when the rage reached its peak. As soon as he came back, he sometimes had none or very little memory of what he was doing. It scared him because this was one of the symptoms of Dragon-sickness; a sickness you can contract when you come in contact with treasure guarded by a dragon. It causes you to become greedy and selfish and Thorin knew this, he knew this far too well. What would happen if he actually developed it? He had often wondered how he would be able to lead the forces against Smaug and their other enemies. Now he felt it again, he felt himself disappear into some different world where time didn't exist. Soon he would lose himself again and he closed his eyes and waited, and waited…

"My lord!"

"He felt himself come back, except for the fact that he had been somewhat present the whole time. Before he had never known who called for him when he had these moments, but now he immediately knew that it was Daenerys, the young woman from across the sea, who called for him this time. Thorin was never completely gone, and it felt so unreal. He sensed the slight breeze and the coolness of the night. Everything was so clear; he smelled all the different scents of the forest and saw the trees and bushes in the pale moonlight. The dwarf prince took a few deep breaths and felt himself relax again, his shoulders sunk and it was as if all his senses had been reborn. He had never felt so much in the present for a long time.

How could that be?

"My lord, are you alright?"

Thorin saw Daenerys stretch out her right hand towards him and he became even calmer. Without thinking, he lifted his left hand and took her tiny one in his.

"Yes, yes I am alright."

"What happened?" She looked at him worryingly, "You looked like you were about to faint. At first you screamed at me, then your eyes had this empty look and your mouth was half open. Then your eyes closed and I called for you. I got really afraid there. We need to go back to the camp, the others are surely worried about us and maybe they are out there looking for us."

"It was thanks to you that I did not faint… The thought took Thorin by surprise, so much surprise that he had to clear his throat before he answered her.

"Sometimes I become a bit… detached. I do not know what it is but it's nothing to worry about. Usually it happens when I am upset about something." He couldn't tell her the truth, she would think him mad, "You're right, we really should go back before the others come looking for us."

Daenerys's head was a storm of thoughts. What she had just witnessed was one of the scariest things she had ever seen, and then she had seen blood pour and body parts fly in battle. She had even seen many people getting killed. But this was something else. He had stared at her with a look that was completely empty and he was completely still, as if the body was there but the soul had left it and he was dead but still not. Usually it happens when I am upset about something. Dany wondered how it was if he got angry for real, she didn't want to see him that way again. Not that she was afraid of him but more because she pitied him. Another thing she couldn't stop thinking about was the fact that they held hands and how safe and natural it felt. They were so different; his hand was big and calloused, clearly marked from battle because she could see many scars on it. It felt rough against her but also warm. One finger of his was almost the size of three fingers of hers. When she looked him in the eyes again, they looked relaxed. Actually, his whole appearance was relaxed and she wondered what made him change that way.

"If this happens every time you become upset I am very sorry, I will try not to make it happen again." When she had said that, he took a step forward which brought them even closer together. It shocked her so she almost wanted to take a step back but by intuition she stayed on the spot. The distance was not more than maybe a foot and he let go of her hand, instead he put it on her shoulder. She could feel herself grow warm and her breathing quickened, it was like she neither could nor would move. Thorin looked into her eyes, the moon reflecting itself in those big, blue orbs. He said in a low voice, almost a whisper:

"Do not worry, just think one extra time before you do and never leave yourself unguarded. Will you please promise me that?"

By now their faces were just a few inches apart, Daenerys could feel Thorin's breath on her face and it was like his whole presence made her feel weak in the knees. She still couldn't figure out what this feeling was because she had never experienced it before, the only thing she knew was that it felt good and she certainly didn't want it to stop. Remembering how to breath properly and with her heart hammering in her chest she said back in an almost just as low voice:

"Yes, I promise you my lord Thorin."

He then smiled at her, it was just a tiny smile but a smile nonetheless. Dany smiled back and he then let go of her shoulder. Immediately she felt strange, like something precious had been taken away from her.

"Shall we go then?" Thorin motioned back to where they came from with his head, still with a tiny smile on his lips. Dany smiled back and they started to walk side by side towards the camp.

"Thank you again my lord. To be honest, I didn't think you cared for me at all."

"You are in my company and my allied now, I must care for you like I care about everybody else." The usual hard tone in his voice was back and he didn't look at her while he spoke, just straight forward. She could glimpse his usual stone hard face from the side. The old Thorin Oakenshield is back , the one that is well known among the dwarves.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Dany not daring to say anything. When they arrived back at the camp, all the dwarves and Gandalf were still up waiting for them. They were happy to see them both alive and some of them started to ask Dany questions about where she had been and why she went out there on her own. Gandalf soon gathered them all, wanting them to calm down.

"Everyone, the hour is late and we need sleep as much as possible. Please, let Daenerys be for tonight." Gandalf then turned towards Dany who had taken her place next to him, "Are you alright my dear?"

"I am alright Gandalf, if Thorin hadn't found me then maybe I wouldn't be here now. He found me when I was not… aware of my surroundings, so to speak. I will retire for the night now. May you all sleep well."

Dany went to the place where she had made up her bed. The dwarves started to whisper among them and then went to Thorin to ask him questions about where he found her and what they spoke about. But Balin stood by himself away from the group just observing them and especially his leader. He noticed that Thorin looked different, his shoulders were more relaxed and so were his facial features. The hard look in his eyes was still there but not nearly as intense as before and now and then they wandered towards Daenerys as she prepared herself for sleep.

"Are you thinking the same as I do, Master Balin?"

"Gandalf suddenly turned up beside the old dwarf who looked back at him, not understanding what he meant at first. Gandalf motioned first toward Thorin, who now had retired to his sleeping quarters as well, and then towards Dany. Balin finally understood and smiled towards him.

"Aye, I think I do. I can understand now why you only wanted him to go searching for the lass. She can obviously make him feel better about this. But what will happen when she sees him become like that? Almost no one is safe then and especially not she.

"Only time will tell. She has already seen some of it and I trust that Daenerys is the one to help him. She is not old but she is already strong. It will take time but we have to be patient."

"I hope you are right, Gandalf. We need him to be at his very best in the battle that is coming up, if not then we might as well give up."

"Patience my friend, patience. For now, we must focus on the road ahead. Let's go to sleep before the sun rises, it might only be a few hours left."

"You're right, I am sorry. We do need sleep and I feel there is rain in the air, think I might move my things to another place. Good night Gandalf."

"Good night, Master Balin."

They both separated and went to bed, hoping that Dany would be the one to cure for Thorin's plagued mind.