Part 59

There was nothing gentle about the kiss, not a single ounce of tenderness in their touches as they frantically tore at each other's clothes. Desperation fueled their desire and neither of them gave an inch as they fought for control of the kiss. They broke apart when the need for oxygen overrode everything else and they stared at each other for several minutes as their harsh breathing slowly began to ease.

"If I ever tell you to fuckin' get out in a situation like that – "

"Don't lecture me on how to act in dangerous situations! How dare you think you have any right to – "

Their voices clashed as they shouted at each other at the exact same moment and silence suddenly fell over the room.

Michael's gaze moved over her as he took in the blouse that he had unknowingly torn in his haste to reach her skin and something that he had no name for brought the feelings of rage and anger under control. Need, want, and desire still pounded through his veins, but the darker feelings that had been riding at the outer edges receded until the only thing left was emotions that he didn't understand.

Maria couldn't stop her eyes from sliding over his tall, muscled body and now that the feelings she had struggled for so long to contain had found their way out they had no desire to go back into confinement. She wanted, needed, to know this man as intimately as possible and she knew she had passed the point where she could stop herself from taking what she wanted.

They reached for each other at the same time and the brief pause allowed them to temper their need with gentleness. Michael was expecting her to put the brakes on at any moment but when she deepened the kiss and reached up to thread her fingers through his hair he felt the difference and he knew with an unexpected certainty that she was ready.

His big hands slid down over her sides, pausing on her hips momentarily before moving down to grip her thighs. Her hands shot to his shoulders when he suddenly lifted her up, the motion effortless and so smooth that it didn't interrupt their kiss. He groaned when he felt her legs lock around his waist and he turned to carry her out into his bedroom.

Maria was barely aware of it when he moved, but the moment he lowered her to the bed and his weight settled over her she couldn't stop the moan that escaped past her lips. Her hands traced over the ridges of his spine before moving on to explore the muscled walls of his chest, pausing each time she came into contact with evidence of the cruelty he had suffered in his chosen career.

Michael raised himself up on his knees and she followed him, sitting up to avoid breaking the kiss. He found himself in a brand new position as he eased her torn shirt off of her shoulders and dropped it on the floor before reaching out to remove her bra. He had never in his life ever really taken the time to pay attention to anything beyond the basic need to seek satisfaction. He had never cared about anything but getting laid; sure, he had always made sure that his partners were satisfied, but this was so different from anything in his vast knowledge of sexual gratification.

Her touch brought feelings and emotions he neither recognized nor comprehended to the surface, but for the first time he found himself allowing them the freedom to flow through him and become something… more. He let the backs of his fingers trail over her small breasts, enjoying the sensation of soft skin against his own rougher flesh. He lowered his gaze when he felt her fingertips brush against the ridged scar from an old knife wound and he froze when she paused for a moment before leaning in to press a kiss to the ugly reminder of a time best left forgotten.

He'd had plenty of lovers over the years, but he couldn't remember their names and most of the time he couldn't recall their faces and he really had no desire to anyway. He knew at that moment that if this was the only night he ever spent with this woman he would never forget her name or her face no matter how much time passed.

He was pulled out of his musings when her hands grasped his belt and unbuckled it before undoing the snap and zipper on his pants. He had no idea how many times he had been touched by a hand other than his own, but when she reached for him, taking him in her small, warm hand he nearly came undone.

While he made it a point to always satisfy his partner it was even more important to him to make sure Maria was satisfied. This time it wasn't just a matter of his pride at stake; her satisfaction was more important than his need to get a lover off. He wanted to please her, to take her to the very edge of ecstasy and to look into her eyes as she came apart in his arms.

Maria watched him as she stroked him, adding just a little more pressure each time until she found the perfect touch. His eyes were nearly black with need, his brown irises nearly unnoticeable at the outer edges. She bit back a smile when he grabbed her wrist to stop her movements and after several moments he stood so he could rid himself of the rest of his clothes.

His big body was muscled and tanned, conditioned from the hours he put into training, exercising, and carrying out missions. She had no way of knowing where the different scars had occurred or what had caused them and she knew he would probably never tell her, but she realized she wanted to know. Not at this moment, of course… no, at this moment she wanted to know what it was like to make love with this rough, harsh, and at times, cruel man.

She stood when he motioned for her to join him and the hands that she knew to be capable of inflicting pain were incredibly gentle as they removed the last of her clothing and then traced over her flesh. She was surprised when he stepped back and just let his eyes look their fill and she didn't feel the slightest hint of self-consciousness under his hooded gaze.

Michael reached for her hand and pulled her up against his body as he lowered his head to take her mouth in a deep kiss. He backed her up, easing her back to lie on the bed and following her down. He braced his left hand on the mattress as he slowly levered himself down over her, groaning when her soft curves molded to his hard body in a way that had never felt so right.

He reached between them, his fingers tangling in the short curls as he tested her readiness and he smiled against her lips when she shifted restlessly at his touch. He gave in to her wordless request, pleasuring her with his fingers as he worshipped her body with his mouth.

Her touches set him on fire and further escalated his need to bring her the release she so desperately needed and after several minutes of the sweet torture he withdrew his fingers and lined himself up before bracing his weight on his forearms and meeting her gaze. The smile on her face as she gave him the slightest nod was quite possibly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he knew the moment their bodies became one was going to be burned into his memory for the rest of his life.

Maria's hand wrapped around the chain his dog tags hung from and she used it to pull him down to her, fusing their mouths together as they remained motionless. Michael was exhibiting a rare display of patience as he waited for her to let him know that her body had adjusted to him and she was ready for more.

Michael looked down at her when she broke the kiss and their gazes locked and held for several moments as her legs came up to wrap around him. No woman had ever looked at him so openly or with such acceptance and he had no words to describe the way that made him feel. He felt an odd sensation in the depths of his chest when she framed his face in her hands and whispered that she was ready.

There was no hesitation in her touches and she held nothing back when she kissed him, and he was overwhelmed by the expression on her face as he began to move within her. He could feel her pleasure on a level that shocked him but instead of questioning it he just accepted it and left that connection between them open.

The moment of culmination, when it happened, was unlike anything he had ever experienced and he had been certain he had pretty much seen and done it all. He was hit with flashes, feelings, and emotions from Maria… his counterpart… he didn't know where they came from or why he was so affected by them. The scenes or flashes passed by so fast that he wasn't certain exactly who or what he was seeing in that passage of time.

He had the strangest feeling of weightlessness, as if the earth's gravity no longer applied in the room. He could've sworn he was seeing stars, constellations, galaxies that he had never seen before and he felt as if he was being propelled through space itself. He had experienced electrical shock before and his body felt like it was going through something similar, but not as unpleasant. The strange, but shockingly erotic sensation seemed to last for an extended length of time and he could still feel the buzz of the intense orgasm humming through his body as he nearly collapsed on Maria.

Holy fuck! he thought weakly. No wonder his counterpart had never felt the need to step out on her. With what little strength he had left he rolled over onto his back and did the unexpected when his arm stayed around her and he pulled her against his side.

Maria rested her head over his heart, listening to his labored breathing and his pounding heart as his body slowly began to calm. She wasn't surprised when she realized that his eyes had closed and as his breathing evened out she knew he had fallen asleep. Before she had time to allow herself to become annoyed by that the events of the day caught up with her and the exhaustion took its toll and she followed him into dreamland.

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Michael slowly came awake, stretching and letting his arms drop back down to the mattress at his sides. The moment his left arm hit the sheets he shot up into a sitting position and he glanced around the dark room. He had never had sex with a woman and then slept with her, so this was a brand new experience for him. He placed his palm flat on the mattress and he frowned when he realized that the sheets were cool to the touch, indicating that she had been up for a while.

Why wasn't she there? He had expected her to be the type to be there the morning after and his disappointment at her absence surprised him.

He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom, taking a quick shower before pulling on a pair of khaki pants and going to look for her. He followed the hall that led from the bedrooms to the rest of the house and he could see the faint light creeping in through the deck doors as the sun began to rise. He heard the sounds of ragged breathing and choked sobbing coming from the living room and he hurried to find her.

Maria was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and she looked like the very picture of misery personified. Her body was curled up in a little ball as if she was in pain and trying her best to make it stop.

Had she been hurt in some way? Had he been too rough? He rushed to her side, concerned that she was hurt and that he was in some way responsible for it; feelings he didn't recognize surfaced as he crouched down beside her and reached out to take her face in his hands.

Her green eyes were swimming in tears as she lifted her head to look at him and he felt their impact like a punch to the gut. "Maria, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I shouldn't have done it," she cried, her voice raspy. "I shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't have done what?" he asked, his voice rising because he was worried and he didn't know how to express that. "Maria, tell me – "

"I betrayed him."

The words cut like a knife and hurt worse than anything he had ever experienced. How could she regret what they had shared? He had opened himself up and this was what he got in return? Anger exploded within him, pushing the hurt back into a safe place where he didn't have to deal with it, and he shot to his feet as he moved to stand across the room.

"That's what this's about?" he shouted, angrier than he could remember being in his entire life. "You betrayed him?! Then what the fuck was that last night?"

Maria didn't know how to respond. "It was a mistake," she whispered, knowing it would hurt him but not wanting to lead him on either. "It shouldn't have happened."

Every dark emotion he possessed surfaced at the same time and he felt them swirling uncontrollably inside of him. They built to unmanageable proportions too quickly for him to rein them in and they suddenly burst free. Anything that wasn't secured to the walls suddenly started to fly around the room and he didn't know how to control this unexpected show of his powers.

Something moving too fast for him to identify shot past Maria, grazing her temple and leaving a small, bleeding wound. His regret and concern was immediate and the maelstrom stopped as suddenly as it started. The odd assortment of items froze for the space of a heartbeat and then dropped; he was unaware of things breaking and glass shattering as different items hit the floor around them.

He could hear his own voice in his head, screaming at him for hurting her and telling him to go to her, to take her in his arms and make her feel safe. It was his voice, but at the same time, it wasn't his voice, he realized.

He moved to sit next to her, checking the wound and feeling relief slam into him when he saw that it was superficial. Without thinking about it or delving too deeply into his actions Michael wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his body, rocking her gently and doing his best to soothe her.

Maria clung to him as a wave of comfort washed over her and she was enveloped by the feeling of safety. She was exhausted from the traumatic events of the day before, the lack of sleep, and the guilt eating away at her. The war being waged between her heart and mind suddenly retreated as the warmth of peace settled over her and temporarily quieted the questions, doubts, and accusations all screaming to be heard.

Michael glanced down at her when he felt her body suddenly go lax and after several minutes of just watching her he stood and lifted her up in his arms. He carried her down the hall to her bedroom and carefully placed her in the bed, pulling the covers up over her and then standing back to watch her once more.

He reached for the picture frame on the nightstand next to her bed and he stared hard at his counterpart as jealousy flared to life inside of him. He placed the frame facedown on the nightstand and walked out of the bedroom as he struggled to figure out what he was going to do next. He needed answers and he wasn't going to be able to sleep while his mind was this active.

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When Maria awoke later that morning she immediately remembered what had happened the night before and the guilt hit her hard and fast. How could she betray her Michael that way? She had made love with this Michael without a single thought about her own Michael; it hadn't been a moment of insanity or a meaningless night of passion. Feelings had been involved… his and hers and she had seen the hurt in his eyes when he had found her crying over her betrayal.

As she thought back to it now she could almost see him shutting down, burying the hurt and the betrayal that he must have felt as he had witnessed her reaction. He had opened himself up, allowed her inside in a way that he had never allowed anyone else in, and she had no idea what she would be dealing with when she faced him.

She heard the deck doors shut and she knew he was coming back from his morning run. His footsteps paused at her closed door for just a moment before continuing on to his own room and a moment later his door slammed shut. He wasn't going to be pleasant to deal with when they came face to face and she knew she had no expectation of civil behavior from him after what she had done to him.