Because I absolutely adore Raph and Mikey's bromance, I put more effort into this chapter than I did the previous ones.

WARNING: DISTURBING CONTENT. I'm rating this particular chapter "M" just to be safe.

Thirty years ago…

"Raph?" April softly knocked on the bathroom door. Her Turtle friend had locked himself in there after the funeral. Neither she nor Casey has seen him for nearly two hours now, and she was beginning to worry about him. "Raph, please open the door."

Still no response from him.

She sighed and leaned against the door. "Raph, listen…I miss Mikey, too. And I know that out of everyone here, you miss him the most. But we have to remain strong, because that's what Mikey would've wanted. It's hard, I know, but I believe in you. 'Cause you're the strongest person I know. You know, Mikey always looked up to you. He'd brag to me about how you were always so brave and strong, and how you would chase away the monsters in his room when you were kids. He couldn't have asked for a better brother. And I know you feel guilty about what happened to him, but you didn't fail him, Raph. But you will if you continue to act this way. So let's…"

"RAPH! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

April's heart jumped as she heard Casey scream outside the farmhouse. She raced downstairs and slammed the front door open. Casey was kneeling in front of the remains of the pyre, and when he saw her standing on the porch, he frantically gestured for her to come over. "RED! GET OVER HERE!"

As she got closer, she saw Raph lying in the pile of ashes, sobbing and curled up in fetal position. His arms, which were bleeding greatly and covered in deep cuts, sheltered his face from her. April's heart broke as she realized that he had cut himself in grief.

"Oh, Raph," she whispered as she knelt on the ground and slowly reached out to him. "Why…?"

"Red," Casey choked, "his left eye is gone."

April turned to him with widened eyes. "What did you say?" she asked fearfully.

"Just look."

Hesitantly, she grabbed his arms, being extremely careful not to touch the scars. She gently pulled them away from his face, and what she saw before her nearly made her faint.

A huge, ugly scar went down the left side of his face, and he eye had been sliced in half.

"I'm going to get Donnie!" she told Casey and was about to get up, but then she was stopped by Raph's small and broken voice.

"Don't bother."

She looked back down at him and watched as he slowly opened his only good eye. A dull, sorrowful emerald orb looked into her blue ones.

"I don't even feel it," he whimpered. "The only pain I feel right now is in here." He pointed to his chest and started to cry again. "And I can't make it go away…no matter what I do!"

April choked on a sob and caressed the dome of his head. "Raph, listen to me. We've got to stop the bleeding or you'll die. Do you understand? Now I'm going to get Donnie. I'll be right back." She then turned to Casey. "Look after him, Jones."

Casey nodded and watched her run to the barn. He leaned in close to Raph's ear and soothingly rubbed his shoulder. "Just hang in there, buddy, okay?" he whispered. "Help is on the way."

Raph only continued to rub his face in the ashes and mumble incoherently to himself. But by reading his lips, Casey could tell that he was whispering his baby brother's name over and over again…

Present

Casey now stood in front of the abandoned farmhouse, where he shared both wonderful and painful memories with his Turtle bros. He stared sadly at the very same spot where the pyre once stood.

Donnie operated on Raph after he cut himself, but he was unable to save his eye. The hothead didn't wait to heal and ran away as soon as he got off that operating table. Casey tried to stop him, but he could only watch as Raph disappeared into the woods. For the next two days, he and April searched for him, but they eventually gave up. And by the time they arrived back at the farmhouse, Donnie had already packed up and left. He didn't even leave a goodbye note for them to find.

Casey looked back at the woods and sighed. At one point, while he was searching for Raph, he got lost and it took April nearly two hours to find him.

And now he was going to have to venture into the woods on his own.

"Raph! Raph! It's me! Casey Jones! Where are you?! Raph!"

It was already getting close to dark, and he still hadn't found his terrapin friend. His voice was starting to get hoarse from shouting all day. And guess what?

He was lost. Again.

His wife was probably already having problems with Donnie, but he had no choice but to call her and have her come find him. Again.

He pulled out his phone and went to his contacts. He was about to push the button to call April, when suddenly a very large net came down over him. He fell to the ground and panicked, struggling to break himself free.

"Got 'im!"

"A'right!"

A pair of ugly pink feet landed in front of Casey's face, and he could also make out a long pink tail. He lifted his head and saw a mutant possum that was wearing a straw hat and smiling down at him with his jagged yellow teeth.

"Well, he ain't got much meat on his bones, but he'll do," he chuckled. "What do you think, Jez?"

Jez, another mutant possum who wore a red bandana around his neck, appeared next to his friend. "Better than that squirrel we had yesterday," he shrugged. "I call dibs on his legs, Boo."

"Hey, I want his legs! You can have the arms!"

"If I get the arms, then I get the head, too! It's only fair!"

"Okay, okay, we'll spit 'im in half! That will be fair!"

"Um," Casey interrupted their argument, "don't I get a say in this?"

The two possums looked down at Casey and then at each other. "Nope," they simultaneously told him.

Jez pulled out a knife and knelt in front of Casey, who started to get very nervous. "I'll go ahead and cut his throat," he said as his licked his chops. "So that he won't struggle on the way home."

"Hurry up," Boo growled as he looked around. "Do it before he shows up."

Jez roughly grabbed Casey by the hair and held the knife at his throat.

No, this can't be it! April! Shadow! Please, God! Don't let it end here! Please! Somebody help! Help! HELP! HELP!

A spear came flying out of nowhere and pierced right through Jez's chest. Some of the blood had splattered onto Casey's face, who cried out in shock as he frantically wiped it away. Jez made a gurgling sound before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the ground dead.

Boo's jaw dropped, his mouth wide open, but all he let out was a pitiful squeak. His ear twitched as he heard the sound of bushes rustling, and he fearfully looked around him, his tail tucked between his shaking legs.

"P-p-please don't hurt me, Green Man!" Boo stuttered. "You-you can have this one! He's all yours! Bon appetite!" As soon as he finished that last sentence, he sprinted away, leaving Casey alone with this "Green Man".

Casey let out shaky breaths as he heard someone else approach him. He closed his eyes tightly as the footsteps got closer and closer. A hand gripped the net and pulled it away from his face, and he heard the sound of the ropes being cut. He opened one eye and saw a red-robed figure, his face hidden by the hood, kneeling over him. The hands that were holding and cutting the net were three-fingered and green.

Wait a minute…three fingers? Green? Could it be…?

Casey had finally been freed, and the figure stood up and crossed his arms, which were wrapped in dirty, torn bandages. There was a jagged, lightning bolt shaped crack on his plastron.

"You're getting rusty, Jones," the stranger chuckled. "I can't believe you let those morons capture you so easily." He pulled back his hood and revealed his face to Casey.

Raph now wore an eyepatch over his left eye, but Casey could still see the same scar that he had inflicted upon himself thirty years ago.

"Raph…!" Casey jumped up and grabbed Raph in a tight bear hug. Raph smirked and wrapped his arms around Casey, as well.

"Good to see you again, Casey."

"So this is where you live now?"

Raph and Casey were now standing on a raft in the middle of a swamp, floating toward a very large and tall tree. At the top was a simple treehouse with a thatched roof.

"I know it's not a penthouse," Raph gruffly said as the raft reached the base of the tree, "but it's what I call 'home'."

"Hmmm, let's see," Casey rubbed his chin. "A green monster living in a swamp. Now where have I heard this before?"

They both chuckled as they climbed up the ladders leading to the treehouse.

The interior of the house was rather simple: there was a straw bed that had a blanket but no pillows, a black cooking pot that hung over a small pile of wood, and a single window that faced the south. There were several spears leaning against the wall along with a couple of sacks that were full of food.

"Geez, Raph, you really are living the simple life," Casey mumbled. "What, not even a T.V.?"

"T.V. rots the brain, anyway," Raph retorted as he reached inside a sack and pulled out couple of wild radishes. He held out one to his human friend. "Want some?"

"No thanks, man," Casey declined. "I don't eat stuff that grows in a forest."

"Suit yourself," Raph shrugged as he bit off the end of the white root. He then walked over to the straw mattress and sat on it, patting the spot next to him. "Come on, sit down. Make yourself at home."

"I bet you miss pizza," Casey said as he sat down next to Raph, who continued to eat his radish.

"Nah," Raph simply said and continued to eat.

"So, um, you ever get any visitors?"

"No one ever visits the Green Man. They're too afraid of me."

"Why? You don't go around hurting people…do you?" Casey couldn't help but glance at the spears.

"I only hurt those who want to hurt me, like those two possum mutants that tried to eat you. They're afraid of me because I'm stronger than all of them. They wouldn't dare challenge me, 'cause they know they'll lose. You could say that I'm the king of this forest."

"Oh, sure, and this is your luxurious castle," Casey gestured around him.

"I like living this way, Jones," Raph glared at him. "There's no hustle and bustle, no Foot Clan, no worries. I don't have to hide in the dirty, smelly sewers anymore. I can be outside whenever I want to. I've lived here for thirty years, and let me assure you, I wouldn't trade my current life for anything. Ever."

"Hey, that's fine, Raph," Casey softly said, gently putting his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm not asking you to leave the swamp, 'cause if you're a lot happier here, then you should stay."

Raph's face softened and he looked down at the half-eaten radish in his hands. It was quiet for a moment, before Raph spoke again. "Jones, listen, um," he said quietly, "I just want to apologize for running off like that."

"Hey, man, it's okay," Casey rubbed his shell soothingly. "I completely understand. You were totally traumatized by the whole Mikey thing. We all were."

At the mention of his brother's name, Raph visibly flinched and he bit his lower lip. "How…how are the others?"

Casey sighed. "I don't know. We haven't seen Leo or Donnie since the funeral."

"Hmm. And April?"

"She's doing fine. Oh, and guess what? She's my wife now."

Raph turned to look at him with a wide emerald eye, then gave him a lopsided smile. "Get outta here! For real?!"

Casey smiled back and nodded. "Yep. We got married twenty years ago."

Raph chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Man, that's unbelievable."

"What do you mean, unbelievable?" Casey couldn't help but feel a little offended by that.

"Well, let's face it, man, you're no Prince Charming."

"Aw, shut your mouth, Shrek."

The two playfully nudged each other and laughed. For a brief moment, it felt like the good old days. Before that fateful night when the Shredder completely shattered their world. Before Mikey was abruptly taken from them.

Casey swallowed around the lump in his throat. It was now or never.

"Raph, Master Splinter is dying."

His friend looked at him in shock. "He…he is?" his voice cracked.

"Yeah, man. He's not doing so good. Karai's doing everything she can, but…well, it's not enough. And she wants us all to get together and see Splinter one last time, before he passes away." Casey wrapped his arm around Raph's shoulder. "Come on, man. What do you say?"

Raph didn't look at him and stared at the wall instead. He said nothing and tightened his grip on the radish, his hands shaking slightly. He eventually closed his eye and let out a deep sigh.

"I can't."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't. I'm sorry, Casey."

"Look, Raph," Casey looked at him with a serious expression, but he continued to speak softly. "I get it. You hate Master Splinter for choosing Mikey, and you don't have to forgive him. But still…"

"It's not that. I don't…I don't hate Splinter. It's just…" Raph paused and reached up to touch his eyepatch. "I'm afraid that if I go back, I'll be reminded of Mikey again, and of what we once had. And it'll be too much for me, Casey. Yeah, I know I'm acting like a coward, but I…I just can't go back." He then traced the bandages on his arms. "It took me thirty years to find inner peace again. I can't afford to lose it."

"Well, what about Splinter's inner peace?" Casey snapped. "Or April's? There hasn't been a single day that she doesn't worry about you guys. Believe me, I know. And I really hate to say this, man, but if you refuse to go, then Mikey's death would've been for nothing."

At this, Raph turned and looked at him with an angry white eye and growled deeply in his throat. Casey instantly regretted saying those words and gulped nervously. "O-okay, calm down, Raph."

"I think it's time you left my house, Jones," Raph venomously said.

Casey knew that he blew it. Why did he have to open his big mouth and screw everything up? "Okay, Raph," he sighed. "I'll leave. But before I do, here. April wanted me to give you this."

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the package that April had given him earlier. He handed it to Raph, who stared suspiciously at it.

"What is it?"

"Beats me. She wouldn't even tell me. Just take it."

Raph hesitantly took the package and put it in his lap.

Casey got off the bed and went to the door, stopping to look at Raph for a moment. "Think about it, Raph. Okay? Just think about it." And then he climbed down the ladders, leaving Raph all alone in the treehouse.

Raph shook the package a little, and judging by the sound, whatever was inside wasn't delicate or made of glass. He then proceeded to tear the wrapping off and open the box.

What he saw inside made his heart skip a beat, and a lump formed in his throat.

It was Mikey's favorite teddy bear.

He took it out of the box and gingerly held it in his arms, feeling its soft, fluffy fur with his fingers. He instantly remembered the night he gave this bear to his baby brother.

"Raphie?"

A groggy six year old Raph turned his head and saw Mikey standing next to his bed. "What do ya want, Mikey?" he grumbled.

"I had a bad dream again," Mikey sniffled. "Can I sleep with you?"

"No," Raph growled and pulled the blanket over his head.

"Pleeeeeeeease?"

"No!"

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

Raph had had enough and kicked the blanket off, sitting up to scream in Mikey's face. "NO! I'm not gonna say it again! Go away!"

Mikey's blue eyes widened and then were filled with tears. He bit his lower and whispered, "You meanie." He ran out of Raph's room sobbing.

Raph merely huffed and laid his head on the pillow, trying to go back to sleep. But the image of Mikey crying would not leave his mind. He sighed in defeat and sat back up. He decided to apologize to Mikey, and just as he was about to jump off the bed, the teddy bear that lay on the floor along with his other toys caught his eye. He then got an idea.

"Mikey?" he whispered to his baby brother, who had pulled the blanket over him and was still crying softly to himself.

"What?" the blanket muffled Mikey's voice.

"Here, you can have this," he sofly said as he laid the teddy bear on the bed.

Mikey peeked his head out of the blanket and looked down at the bear. "But, Raphie, that's your teddy bear."

"Yeah, well," Raph shrugged his shoulders and gave him a smirk. "I'm too old to sleep with stuffed animals anyway. 'Sides, ya need it more than I do." He gently patted Mikey on the head and was about to leave, when he felt two arms wrap around him in a tight hug. Mikey laid his cheek on his brother's shell, smiling to himself.

"Thank you, Raphie," Mikey sniffled. "I love you. I love you."

Raph let out a sob and hugged the bear closer to his plastron, a single silver tear spilling out of his eye.

Thank you, Raphie. I love you. I love you.

He started to cry harder and slowly rocked back and forth.

Bye, guys. I love…

Finally, he was wailing at the top of his lungs.

Even the shrilling sounds of the crickets and cicadas could not drown out the Green Man's cries of anguish.

Well, that's all for now until after Christmas Day. Gonna be spending time with my stepmom's family in Springdale. Enjoy Christmas with your families and appreciate what you have.

Merry Christmas!