Okay so….whats with all the, "oh well thats it then no more cutting"? Assumitive...but, no, its not gonna magically stop because one person reached out to him one time. If depression actually worked like that, I would have gotten depression-free along time ago. So, no, there is more sadness to come, don't worry.

Anyway, OVER 200 FOLLOWERS! I'm really happy about that, thanks to everyone following and reviewing! You're super appreciated! ^-^

Also, I am writing a BonRin fic! So anyone of you who ship it, just view my account and enjoy another shipping fic! It's called Tangled Hearts.

Enjoy this next depressing chapter!

I stared up at him for a minute before angrily yanking my wrist out of grasp. "I'll do what I want! Don't tell me what to do!" I stood up, "how many times do I have to tell you, I don't need your help!"

Bon stared at me in surprise before standing up as well. "And why not?"

"Because I don't need it!" I snarled at him.

"Yeah you just go and cut yourself and let yourself be depressed and mope around but no, you don't need help." Bon replied sarcastically.

"Just fuck off! Go hang out with your damn buddies or go study some useless information or whatever the hell you do in your free time!" I yelled at him.

"Why don't you stop acting like a damn brat?!" Bon snapped. "You're all upset because we don't hang out with you, but then when I actually try to be here for you you push me away?! Make up your damn mind!"

"Oh, what the hell do you know?! You just don't understand!"

"Understand what, excatly?! That you're a fucking idiot?"

"No, you don't understand how I feel!" I snarled. I gripped the knife in my hand, having a strong urge to just stab the older boy with it. I instantly regretted the thought, making me feel sick that it actually went through my mind.

"Then why don't you explain how you feel?" Bon challenged.

I glared at him, "Why?! So you have more fuel to use against me? So you have a better understand of how you can hurt me more? Like hell!"

"Rin, I don't want to hurt you." He said seriously.

"Bullshit. Leave me alone." I said as I went to put the knife back in it's sheathe.

"Why should I when I know the moment I leave you're gonna slice yourself all open?" He demanded.

"Does me cutting bother you that much?" I asked. "You think I need you to leave to cut myself? I don't care if you're here or not!" To prove my point I moved the knife away from it's sheathe and slashed it down my opposite arm, ripping open the sleeve of my shirt as I did so. Blood ran down my arm and dripped onto the ground, staining my shirt a bright scarlet red. My skin burned around the large gash now in my arm. I kept my gaze locked on Bon's, not even flinching from the pain. I felt a little bad, but if it got him to me alone it was worth it.

I didn't expect him to do what he did though. His eyes widened for a moment before darkening with anger. He lunged forward and grabbed the arm that was holding the knife roughly and twisted it so it was pinned behind my back. I gasped in more surprise than pain and my fingers opened, dropping the knife. He grabbed the sheathe out of my pocket and pushed me away from him, not trying to hurt me but just to give distance. I spun around, ready to spit venom at him when he picked up the knife and put it in it's sheathe.

"Then I guess I'll have to confiscate this." He said, shoving it into his pocket.

My eyes widened, "give it back!"

"Why?" he asked.

"I need it! It's mine, you don't have the right to take it!" I lunged towards him, going for his pocket. He easily stepped away,

"No, you don't need it. You want it." Bon correct.

"I don't care! It's the only thing that helps!" I went for him again, and instead of dodging he grabbing my arms and held me in place. I struggled to get out of his grip, but I was growing tired and weak from hunger, and cutting myself open with such a big gash didn't help.

"It's not helping you! All it's doing is hurting you!" He insisted, looking me in the eyes.

I shook my head, "That's not true! You don't understand!"

"Then make me understand." He said firmly.

I yanked against him once more, the attempt to free my arms futile. I glared at the ground, "it's the only thing that helps...nothing else makes my emotions leave me alone...they're so confusing and I can't figure them out and they hurt and they make it hard to breathe and I hate them so much...they make my heart ache and i just...I don't want to feel them and cutting is the only thing that makes it better! Other people just make it worse! No one understands and no one ever tries to!" I felt tears starting to sting my eyes as I was beginning to admit how I felt. A part of me felt relieved I could finally get all this emotions off my chest, but another was scared on how Bon would react. Was he being genuine or would he use it against me?

"But I'm trying to understand right now, aren't I?" Bon replied gently. I felt his grip on my arms loosen a bit, but I didn't try to pull them away.

"But why..?" I asked quietly as the tears ran down my face. "I-I'm a f-fucking m-monster." I let out a sob and shook my head. "I'm n-nothing b-but a fucking s-screwup." I didn't look at him, waiting for him to agree and push me away. I couldn't stop crying, even if it was embrassing to do so infront of the older teen. Maybe he'd start making fun of me for crying like a baby too, or chew me out for self-pitying. He probably thought I was pathetic.

"That's not true." Bon said instead, his voice soft.

I shook my head again, "Y-yes it is. W-why else w-would everyone h-hate me so much?"

"No one hates you." He replied.

"That's fucking bullshit!" My voice raised abit. "Yukio hates me, Shiemi hates me, Konekomaru and Shima, everyone back home, I even hate myself!" I let out another sob and pulled my arms away to wipe the tears that were only quickly replaced. "I just mess everything up! I can't do anything right! I'm just fucking worthless."

I felt a flare of surprise as he pulled me into an embrace, holding me close. "W-what are you d-doing?" I looked up at him, seeing a blush on his face and he looked down to meet my gaze. I looked away and took in another sharp breath. Another second went by and I decided I didn't want the answer. Everything was becoming too much and I shoved him away. "Just leave me alone!"

"Rin, wait!" He reached his hand out to grab me but moved back and ran out of the abandoned building we were currently in. All my emotions were too much, and my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe, my mind was a whirling mess that made it begin to pound. I reached into my pocket once I was out of the building, but I abruptly remembered how Bon had taken it from me. "DAMMIT!" I screamed, slamming my fist against the wall. I took in a few more shaky breaths, before looking up and seeing a broken window. I looked at the ground at shattered glass laying there. I didn't hesitate to pick up and partially big piece, looking at the sharp point.

"Yeah, go ahead. Cut yourself like the pathetic shit you are." I heard the voice in my head and my hand tightened around the piece of glass, cutting into my skin.

"May as well kill yourself while you're at it. Not like anyone will miss you." Another voice spoke up.

"Shut up…" I breathed out weakly, though my heart wasn't in the argument.

"What the hell is even wrong with you anyway? You're all upset because you're alone, but when someone reaches out to you, you reject them? The fuck?"

"That's just because you're a fucking idiot. Can't even be depressed correctly."

"That friend of yours should just ditch you anyways. You're so worthless. He's wasting his time with you."

"You're nothing but a monster. You shouldn't even exist."

"Demon."

"Monster."

"Idiot."

"Father killer."

"Worthless."

"Just kill yourself already! No one wants you here!" The voices screamed inside my head.

"I said SHUT UP!" I screamed back and shoved the sharp point of the glass into my stomach. I gasped as pain flared through my nervous system. I felt the blood begin to pool out from the stab wound, staining my hands and dripping to the ground. The scarlet gleamed in the fading sunlight and I coughed, spitting blood out of my mouth. The taste of iron was strong on my tongue and I fell to my knees. I gritted my teeth and pulled the glass out of my stomach, dropping it onto the ground. I pressed my hands against my stomach, wondering if this would be enough to kill me. Everything hurt and everything was so confusing I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I didn't want to do this anymore. Even if Bon was being sincere, I'd probably just end up hurting him in the future. Another set of tears rolled down my cheeks as I was consumed with guilt, "I'm so sorry dad...I just can't do this…" My vision began to fade, and as my eyes closed and began to fall over, I hoped they wouldn't ever open again.

"RIN!" A scream filled my ears before everything faded to black.