North American Hurricane (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: In the same vein as Bunnies For Your Amusement, I now bring you my collection of oneshots and short stories featuring the North American twins, America and Canada! Now including non-LJ drabbles.

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Random Shit, Bros Being Bros, SG1 xover, goa'uld!Nations (you read that right)

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"This… is a problem."

Alfred tilted his head back, frowning. "Why's that?"

"You remember what I told you of my species?"

"Yeah, something about them being forced to leave Earth alone after a huge war?"

America provided the mental equivalent of a nod. "Indeed. This stone ring is what certain members of us used to collect their chatel from this world to serve them across the galaxy."

"Wait, they kidnapped people?" The American balked, putting the folder down sharply. "Why didn't you mention that?"

"Because I didn't think at the time that anyone would be so foolish as to dig it up again, much less attempt to actually figure out what it does," The alien symbiote noted dryly. "It was thousands of years ago, and for the most part humanity has forgotten most of the details about them, so I didn't think it was a relevant issue anymore."

"Still, that's something you think people would want to know about just in case, you know, your buddies come back one day."

"They won't, not as long as the Treaty holds. I recall Tony giving you that briefing when you asked. And if they did, I assure you none of us would welcome them with open arms."

Alfred blinked, frowning. "Why not? Wouldn't they want you guys back if they knew about you?"

"If they were willing to leave us here to fend for ourselves when they fled, why do you assume they would care now?"

"I dunno, experience? You have a lot you guys could offer…"

"That assumes they would listen. The goa'uld are extremely proud, and refuse to admit any species could be superior to them, especially humans, and I have my doubts they've changed much since I last walked among them."

"But didn't Tony say most of their technology was stolen from other species?"

"Indeed it is."

"So what you're saying is that they're hypocrites."

America simply chuckled. "Of the worst sort."

"So I'm guessing this ring thing isn't theirs either?"

"No, it was made by a species far older, who were once allied with the Asgard and as far as I recall spanned many galaxies in their heyday."

"What happened to those guys, then?"

"They disappeared. I don't know the details, but they seemed to consider you important enough that the Asgard fought long and hard to have you protected under the Treaty."

"Wow," Alfred sat back, think on all of that for a moment, America remaining dutifully silent so his host could think on it for himself. "So what made you guys different from the rest of them?"

"We weren't, not right away," America offered memories of the confused days after the rebellion and the stealthy arrival of the Asgard to purge whatever Goa'uld influence they could find. "We were torn down and scattered, forced to hide so that we didn't die. Only after centuries did we meet again, most of our hosts dying of old age even with our healing, and we knew if we wanted to survive we would no longer be able to just take hosts as we pleased, for the humans had been trained to kill any who showed signs of 'possession' on sight."

The scene changed to a gathering, a hundred of them listening as one in particular, who America identified as China, explained his idea. "We decided the best way to hide would be with the leaders of your kind, trading our knowledge and wisdom in exchange for protection. A simple plan with a good risk of failure, but it was better than waiting to be hunted down. We figured at the time we were getting the better deal, for what would the mere mortals gain from the tidbits we were willing to share?"

Alfred bristled at the dismissive tone, but America continued on with his story. "Imagine our surprise when you started developing at a rather rapid rate after the mitigating influence of our kind had gone. We didn't share much of anything, so imagine our surprise when you started developing basic science, reasoning, and civilization within a few centuries."

The goa'uld shared a few more tidbits of the changes over time through his eyes as he journeyed across Europe and to the Americas. "Not to mention how having our hosts choose their own successors changed things for us. It was humbling to see what advantages your species had over our long lives and genetic memories when given the chance to thrive on your own, and by the time it became necessary to do more than just sit back and watch the world spin on, we had ended up rather, well, fond of your odd young species."

Alfred snorted, relaxing again as he felt the embarrassment in the back of his head. "So basically you actually got exposed to us enough to realize we were awesome and mellowed out."

"For the most part, yes. Ten thousand years is a long time to think about yourself and your choices, and we have all long agreed that we have no interest in ever letting Ra or any of the rest of them near Earth before you are all prepared to deal with him."

"Does that come back to the ring, then?"

"It does. That ring is a chappa'ai, a stargate if you will. It generates a controlled wormhole that will connect to any other functional stargate within the galaxy, allowing near instantaneous travel across hundreds of lightyears."

Alfred whistled. "That sounds really useful."

"It is, but you do not want to experiment with that yet."

"Why not?"

"You are not ready. I am sure Tony could give you the specifics, but to my latest reckoning the goa'uld control about a third of the galaxy, though thankfully they are on the opposite side of it. What do you think would happen if you sent people through and they ended up on a world controlled by them?"

"They would… get caught?"

America nodded. "And likely tortured and killed for not showing the proper slave mentality to whichever lord rules that particular lord. And if they learned where those people came from…"

"They might get interested in Earth again. But wouldn't the Asgard stop them?"

"They would, if not for two things - one, the Asgard have weakened from what I can tell. Why do you think they have never sent someone around to at least check in with Tony since he crashed here decades ago?"

"I dunno, busy?"

"Perhaps, but one would think they would have collected him before now if they could, even if they just happened to be passing by."

"Fine, I'll let it go. What's the second thing?"

"I would have to take a look at the details of the Treaty again, but I think there is a clause stating that if a species under Asgard protection starts using the Stargate, then they are clearly advanced enough to not need protection anymore."

Alfred paled. "Which would mean the guys could come right back in if they knew we were out there."

"Which is why I will push for you to wait until you are somewhat prepared for the danger. The report mentioned there was an accident, right? Use that against it - bury all the records until we are certain you and your kin can survive what will come."

"We?"

"Do you think I wouldn't let the others know the stargate has been recovered? This is something that will affect everyone, regardless of arbitrary borders and alliances."

"Hey, it's not my fault Ivan was being creepy, he started it."

"I remember having to take over to stop you two from getting into a full out brawl."

Alfred pouted some more. "Fine, you can do whatever you want to stuff this away, but I still want to see it get used someday, got it?"

"I won't make any promises; you will be ready when you are ready."

The blond groaned. "Why did I ever agree to this?"

"Because you thought Eleanor's tales of the Revolution and Civil War to be 'wicked cool?'"

"Shut up, I didn't ask you."

America just laughed some more, to his hosts continued aggravation. Humans were so wonderfully ridiculous sometimes, and he wouldn't change it for anything.

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AN: Just an old km prompt I saw a long while ago and always pondered in the back of my mind. There's no doubt it would shake canon up a LOT for them to exist like this, especially after the SGC discovers that the Nations are actually, well, alien symbiotes. I might write some more for this, maybe? But I'd have to make it different in plot from my current sg1 fic, probably by going from ww2 to when the movie happened? I'll see someday.