So I've had to live with the ball of fluff for six months now... It's still a right royal pain in my nipples! Master doesn't like it either and makes mistress Gail keep it in her apartment. I'm not allowed in there anymore even when master has mistress Ana here.
She doesn't like the sticks, so master threw them out. What a waste! I could have had a lot of fun at the park with them! It would have been so easy to get master to fall with them! They seemed like strong sticks! Mistress Ana isn't too much like the other red women she's not so red all the time anymore! I do hear her screaming at master sometimes, she did make him cry once, for a long time, not even my singing cheered him up! I brought him a stick that I'd found under the bed but he didn't want to play, he got really cross and snapped my stick and put it in the bin.
Mistress Ana came back just after that. We go for long walks in the park but they don't seem to interested in throwing sticks for me, master bought me a ball, or I think that's what he called it. It was yellow and fluffy. It tasted so good! I dribbled all over it! Master stopped throwing it so I had to carry it home. I chewed and chewed and chewed until it broke into little bits and I ate the lot. Mistress Ana wanted to take me to the vet...oh hell to the no! But master said to give it a day or two to see what came out? I still haven't worked out what was going on but I know mistress Ana is obsessed with my poo...it's kinda freaky! She picks it up in plastic bags and squishes it about, I nearly puked the first time, poor master did go a funny green colour too... Ewww!
I've not seen much of Greyson, apart from the time mistress Ana and Grey's mistress, (yes I have a human name for him!) locked us in a run outside for a few days. We waited till the humans weren't watching and well, one thing led to another, he let me have his last chocolate drop so I let him... Well, I wish we hadn't bothered because mistress Ana and master both have come at me with a probe that they put...you know, there, and they squirt stuff in! It's bloody mortifying! I think Greyson gave me some kind of disease of the girlie bum! Master keeps saying things about breed and pedigree and Greyson gets mentioned a lot too... I've given up trying to figure humans out, they are all barking mad!
Mistress Ana and master are getting married, did I tell you? Well master was away all day, mistress cried, masters brother and demon child from hell cried, masters parents even cried, then he came home and mistress Ana said she'd marry him! Everyone cried some more! Rosie still comes round sometimes master has banned all drugs though so she's not as much fun as she used to be, she says she's on a permanent downer now that the catnips gone, her babies are all gone and her mistress had a demon spawn.(Her baby ran away after a run in with Ord and Las!)
Yes they are still here. I still try to get them but mistress has got me a new baby pink collar with my name written in sparkles on it (or at least she says it's my name, I think I trust her...) and lots of bells. When I run the park is alive with the sound of music, and Ord and Las can hear me coming! Damn cats!
Anyway mistress Ana is taking me to the grooming salon for the wedding, I'm hoping for curly hair like Miss Fifi and Miss Trixibelle from downstairs, master calls them a pair of poodles but they are lovely dogs oh and their hair is fabulous! So I gotta go. I'll see you soon, maybe after the wedding I've got to bare a ring, I hope that's not as painful as it sounds, I'll let you know x
Laters x x