Chapter 62:
Much later, Harry walked slowly back into the Slytherin common room.
From the looks the Gryffindor's were giving him (barring Ginny) he assumed he would soon be welcome back in the lion's den again, since rumour had it he'd 'defeated' Voldemort once more.
Yet, in a way, even the thought of staying in the Tower felt odd, despite the strong fondness he still felt for the place. He was so used to Slytherin now, with it's darkness and heated stone floors. He'd grown accustomed to the power plays and the ever changing atmosphere, the twist and spin of influence.
Suddenly, horribly, inexplicably, the in your face brightness and bravery of Gryffindor seemed daunting. He wasn't sure how he'd deal with obvious challenges, or whether he'd be paranoid and search for jabs where in Gryffindor there were none. He wanted to go back there, he did, but he was…he hated the fact that some members of the house had completely turned on him for his association with the snakes.
This weekend, well, not this weekend anymore, the Hogsmeade weekend, had all been about grounding himself and finding himself again in the shadows, but that had totally backfired on him.
Despite his cheerful, relatively content mood, deeper inside he felt so lost. He was scared too, when he allowed himself to introspect further on his actions.
Messing with Voldemort was hilarious, but it had consequences. Dangerous, painful ones. Voldemort was going to be furious when he found out he'd been played…Voldemort. That was a mind screw if he'd ever known one. What had the Dark Lord meant by coming and going so quickly? It didn't make any sense, it seemed random…and yet. Something about the Dark Lord's commentary had his skin crawling. You'll understand how this changes things, Harry. It changed nothing! Voldemort still wanted him dead, he still wanted Voldemort dead. It changed nothing, nor would it ever.
So why was he acting like he did?
If you ever wanted to talk about this…you know where to find me. He didn't understand. Voldemort had told Tom that he, basically, didn't give a damn that Harry was a horcrux, because he had better ones…so why was he acting like this? He was probably just trying to screw with Harry's head or something. It wasn't working.
He dropped into a seat, pulling out the huge, neglected stack of homework from when he'd been in the hospital wing, eyeing it like it could bite him.
He tried to concentrate, but found he was unable, especially with the feeling of eyes on him. Staring pensively. He flicked his eyes up. Tom inclined his head slightly towards the common room door, and Harry stood up.
It was past curfew, but since when had he ever truly cared about that? It was easy enough to avoid the teachers, most of them had their own sleeping to do. Sure he had homework…but…Hermione would scowl at him if he were there.
The Slytherin's looked up as the two of them left, gazes following them until they were out of the door. They probably thought they were 'sneaking' off for a secret snogging session, or something. No he wasn't bitter, or sour…well, perhaps only slightly. It got tiring, especially as he could tell that most people only thought Tom favoured him because of it. It didn't really matter, but it was a tad insulting. Not to mention demeaning. The whole couple thing did amuse him too, but like everything, the joke could get old.
It entertained him when Tom played with the idea, but it annoyed him when anyone else did. He wasn't going to psychoanalyse that.
He studied Tom carefully as they walked, wondering what the other wanted. They stopped outside of the room of requirement, Tom walked before the wall three times, before entering, holding the door open. Harry slipped in, taking in the room.
It was one of Harry's favourite settings of choice, when Tom didn't mimic the Slytherin common room (which he did ninety percent of the time because Tom was controlling like that.)
He glanced at the other curiously.
The room was airy and light, opening up to the sky like the great hall did. He breathed a sigh of content as he walked in further. He loved the sight of open sky, and tonight was a starry night.
Tom dropped onto a couch, lounging elegantly, regarding him with a slight air of amusement. He merely shrugged back; he liked the sky. Tom raised his brows, smirking faintly, as if to reply 'I know' in a more than sarcastic manner. Harry rolled his eyes, making his way over the fire place, sitting down there.
He liked the warmth of the flames, the way they flickered, always changing…and it wasn't like he could ever sit like this in front of a fire in the Slytherin common room, people would ultimately take it subconsciously as a 'I am lower status' then you thing. He wondered absently why he felt comfortable doing so in front of Tom then - before figuring it was probably because he knew bloody well that Tom thought like everyone was inferior anyway, so it didn't make any difference.
Besides, Tom was relaxed too, he didn't lie down across whole couches in Slytherin, even when it had cleared out.
It was the horcrux. Somehow, he just felt calmer when Tom was. He couldn't help but wonder if it went the other way too.
They sat in a surprisingly companionable silence for a moment, as he waited for the Slytherin heir to speak.
When Tom said nothing, he finally looked around again. The other's head was rested back against the arm of the sofa, tipped back, eyes watching the stars above like it could reveal mysteries. He suddenly felt bad asking if there was a reason behind this impromptu meeting, even if there most likely was. Nonetheless, he studied the other further, before coming to a realisation.
Tom's relaxed state wasn't as relaxed as his sprawling posture would imply…well, he was relaxed…but he was also lost in thought. And…
"You're troubled," he said, startled by the thought, before inwardly wincing as he noted that he'd just prodded at something Tom was only just coming to terms with himself, with all the tact of a blunt sledgehammer.
It wasn't noticeable, not at all, it was just a flittering suspicion in the back of his mind. Tom's eyes flicked to him.
"Hmm? What did you say?"
"You're troubled," he repeated, cautiously. Tom stared at him for a moment.
"So are you," was all the other said. Harry almost laughed; trust Tom to be able to smoothly put the conversation on you within the space of three words.
"What is it?" he asked, instead.
"I'm fine," Tom rebutted, a tad sharper now. Harry tilted his head, a feeling in his gut, wondering if he should go on his hunch. It couldn't even be called a hunch. Even if he was right, he couldn't flat out say it, Tom would shove any reassurance or comfort offered by him back as a token of weakness. And that was this was about.
Weakness, the thing Tom so hated and feared. He shrugged, turning back to the fire, pretending to dismiss it. How to do this? Oh…
"Tom…" he began, hesitantly. "You know Voldemort?"
"What about him?" Tom's gaze shot to him, his posture moving just a fraction to accommodate the change in position.
"Do you know what the whole thing about 'nothing has changed' was about? In your memory he didn't care,"
"What, do you think I showed you the wrong one?" Tom questioned, something in his shook his head immediately, that thought hadn't even occurred to him. Tom's eyes seemed to pierce his soul, before he continued. "Perhaps you don't trust me?"
"Of course I don't trust you," Harry said immediately, noting the lines of Tom's face harden, before he grinned easily. "Never trust a Dark lord, but, no, I don't think you manipulated the memory, don't be ridiculous, I would have exploded on you before now if I did. I'm just interested to know if you have any theories on what his game is? I mean, it's very odd, isn't it? Then again, it's Voldemort…he's always spouted nothing but crap," Harry continued, watching Tom as intently as he could while remaining seemingly casual.
"I'm wondering if I should take offence to that statement," Tom said mildly. "What crap does he come out with? Because if you're going to give me some holier than thou lecture on morality again, I should warn you now I'm not in the mood to humour you."
Wow, that was pretty much the closest admittance Tom would give that something was wrong. He was on the right track. Hopefully.
"Well," Harry shrugged, carelessly. "That stuff about you being pathetic and weak for one thing, come on, we both know that's not true." He could have sworn Tom stopped breathing.
"Yes, Harry, no worries that he's got a whole army on his command…I have the power," Tom said mockingly, smirking as if the conversation meant nothing to him. Harry knew better.
"All the better for the bastard to hide behind," he retorted, grinning as if the idea amused him. "Seriously though, he's a total coward, your threats sent him running with his tail between his legs, he's terrified about you."
Harry pulled a thoughtful face.
"Do you think that's why he belittles you? Trying to make himself feel better? He's a shadow of you after all."
"Careful," Tom returned lightly, "if you weren't simultaneously insulting him one might think you're paying me a compliment."
"Never," Harry said solemnly. "It is, after all, my duty to make sure your ego doesn't swell further. Lestrange doesn't help. Sycophant. You know, I really think he'd appreciate dog biscuits for Christmas, he'd probably get a kick out of it…"
"And they say I'm the cruel one," Tom said dryly.
"Another reason why Voldemort is pathetic," Harry mused. "You've got me, so, clearly, you get the power of awesome due to association."
"And modesty, too?" Tom smirked, though Harry noted it was less forced this time, and frowned.
"Don't be ridiculous, you have no modesty. You're an arrogant jerk," he replied.
Tom's features were the epitome of innocence.
"Now really, Harry, just as I thought we were actually having a nice conversation where you didn't insult me, you go and say something like that…."
"Yeah, well, you'd think I was polyjuiced. Had to make sure you knew you were still talking to me, and anyway, I speak but the truth…"
"Brat."
There was a moment of silence, this time filled with a sense of accomplishment. Tom hadn't rejected what he said, and he didn't think he'd been too obvious.
"He fears you too, you know," Tom said, softly this time, joking aside. Harry's stared at the fire, his jaw suddenly going rigid. "I think that's why he's trying to screw with your head…he's scared you'll finish him, something makes him believe you can." There was a pause. "Can't think what really, since it's you," Tom added mockingly. "But the wizarding world seems to believe it too."
Harry swallowed, hard. This conversation had drifted to uncomfortable waters.
"The wizarding world believes a lot of things, like you said," he replied.
"And yet…" Tom stared at him, fascination evident, as he seemingly lost himself in thought again, before he grinned dazzlingly when Harry was started to feel extremely awkward at the undivided attention. "We should get back to the common room. I believe there to be a large, friendly pile of homework awaiting you."
Tom stood smoothly, striding towards to the door. Harry groaned at the reminder, unmoving.
"You know, if I had some help with that homework…" he began.
"I'm not doing your homework for you," Tom replied immediately. "Don't be lazy."
"There's tons. I'm going to be behind. And fail everything. It will be your fault."
"I'm sure my conscience will cry every night," Tom said. "Really."
Harry sneered, but rose after a moment, taking one last look at the enchanted sky - now unfortunately clouded over - before he started back for the common room.
It was Christmas is a couple of weeks.
A/N: Another long chapter, aren't you guys so lucky? =P And quite quickly too. If I'm honest, I had a slightly suckish, stressful day…so I wrote to blow off some steam. And your reviews always cheer me up, so it was twofold. And I hated the last chapter, and wanted to put it behind me. So here you go, enjoy? Thanks for the reviews.
I don't know when i'll next have time to write more, but i'll try not to abandon or hiatus this story or anything.
OH! AND REVIEW CHALLENGE IS ON AGAIN FOR 1000! (and oh my god, people really like this that much :O)
I need to think of something special. What reward would you guys like for a 1000 reviews? As a thank you gift from me to you?