A/N: Just because I can...
Hey, hey, hey! You missed me? Sorry I've been unable to chat to you, but what with the wedding and the baby... Yup, I did say baby! Not MY baby! I work to damn hard keeping in shape to let myself go and breed! I mean I saw what it did to Rosie, she's still saggy round the nipples! It doesn't help that she's had three more litters... She's too highly sexed master says, he says that she reminds him of someone (It better not be me!), mistress turns red when he says that. Oh we are moving too! It's a new house with a huge big play area for me out the front. Mistress calls it a meadow and looks all dreamy at master, but I had a good scout around, and it's boggy and wet with lots of long grasses, perfect for playing chase with master! Last time we played chase, it was when I found a couple of balls in mistresses bag. Masters brother nearly choked when I dropped them at his feet for him to throw for me. Master got very angry and mistress hid in her room. I got put in the laundry and called a bad dog... I'm still not sure what I did?
Mistress has a lot of those balls though, I've seen them. She keeps them in a drawer with short fat plastic sticks. I once saw a purple one in there and managed to get it. I chewed on it for hours, the thing almost had a life of it's own, it kinda buzzed and wriggled. I really liked that stick... Unfortunately for me so did master and mistress...
"Fuck Ana! I told you to keep our toys out of the dogs reach!" Toys? Oh they must play fetch too, that explains mistress shouting that's she's coming all the time!
"I put them back where you had them! It's not my fault your dog takes a perverse pleasure in playing with sex toys! Your not putting anything in that box near me again! As much as I love Ana, she licks her own arse hole!" Hey! I don't hear you complaining when master cleans yours!
"I'd never want to use any of that stuff on you baby! I'll get new stuff and a lock box, or a bolt for the cupboard to keep her out! I swear. You know I love you baby." Does that mean I get the box of dog chews? I hope so!
I didn't! I got put in the laundry room, again! Grey still comes round from time to time, with mistress. He might come to stay with us at the new house... A live in Dog, just what every Bitch wants! I get a funny flutter when he's near me, in my belly and well, lower...you know, in my bum! Well not quite my bum, but you know what I mean.
Mistress Gail's fluffy fur ball freak fashioned from the gates of hell is still with us. I hate that cat! It's like the devil himself has moved in. It's got red eyes and claws as long as my legs, it's jaws look like they belong to a gigantic shark, it brings misery wherever it goes. I hate that cat!
"Aww, Gail! Look what Ana's doing with your cat!" I'm trying to stamp on it's tiny feline brain before it grows bigger and conquers the earth, what is so aww about that?
"Oh Ana! They're hugging!" No we are not! I'm affronted! This thing is worse than Ord and Las put together!
I've got to go, this may be my last chance before we move to rid myself of this feline monstrosity!
Bye x x