Fate's Games
(A/N: Second up today. Though I'm less than impressed with the way she treats him in game, as I quite like the man, I really want to play with their relationship a bit because I like it and I don't dislike her despite thinking little of her cheating; so I find a resolution to that whole conflict with this and the next one which were originally going to be combined into one long oneshot. Then I decided it would work better splitting them into two. The next one will be a oneshot for Brynjolf, whom I like quite a bit.)
Unfaithful
Relationships and emotions were complex things. They all knew that. What was friendship, what wasn't? What was love, what was lust? When was it time to let go, when was it time to fight back? How much could possibly be forgiven before it was too much? How much were you willing to give up to keep the one you loved or to keep the love of a dear friend? Were you willing to give up your own happiness? What were you willing to risk should you choose wrong? Different people dealt with it in different ways. There was no correct answer. It was how one chose to handle it all.
It could have been handled better. The whole situation could have. It started with harmless flirtations. Flirtations were dangerous things, and the first one to become intimately acquainted with that fact was Brynjolf. "Vekel and me have a thing, so hands off the merchandise," Tonilia said to him after he'd dropped an ever so slightly suggestive tease; nothing he hadn't done before, of course, but this time…
"Tonilia, you know how I feel about a challenge," Brynjolf purred in amusement. She started, looking at him in surprise. After a moment she smirked and chuckled, walking off. From there it just progressed, their flirting becoming more and more frequent and more and more intimate until…
"What have we done?" she breathed fearfully, lying in his arms as the two of them were catching their breath after a not so innocent rendezvous in a storage room.
"Do you regret it?" he questioned, taking a deep breath and rolling so he was on top of her. Gently he began kissing her neck.
"I-I don't think we…" she began. She gasped as he lightly nipped her. Never mind. Immediately she returned, and another passionate encounter occurred.
ES
Now secrets needed to be kept, and no one was affected by it more than Vekel. He knew, you see, as he embraced her that day, that there was something that wasn't being said. "Tonilia, what is it? What's bothering you?"
"B-bothering?" she quickly asked, paling ever so slightly.
"My love, you know you can tell me," Vekel murmured adoringly, gently nuzzling her forehead with his. She shivered in his embrace.
"I'm just… just thinking of how nice it would be to be kissed by you," she lied.
He started then smirked in amusement. "As you wish," he murmured. Gently he pressed his cool lips to the side of her mouth. She moved to take his lips with hers and embraced him gently, melting into his arms. She loved him, she did, sh-she loved him… right? Brynjolf watched icily from the side.
ES
Now there was jealousy. "I have plans with Vekel tonight," Tonilia said in reply to Brynjolf's offer.
"Cancel them, lass. He'll hardly mind," Brynjolf insisted.
"I cancelled on him only last night. He'll start to get suspicious," she protested.
"Tonilia, what's going on?" Vekel asked, taking note of the close proximity between Brynjolf and her.
"It's nothing," she quickly replied; a little too quickly. Vekel started and his eyes became uncertain. He looked confusedly at Brynjolf and Tonilia scurried away.
ES
Uncertainty and Guilt… "Brynjolf, can I talk to you?" Vekel asked one day as Brynjolf sat at the bar.
"Of course, Vekel. What is it?" Brynjolf concernedly questioned. When Vekel put on this tone, something was bothering him deeply.
"It's… It's about Tonilia…" Vekel replied. Brynjolf stiffened, alarm springing to his eyes. Did Vekel know? Nocturnal, anything but that.
"What about her?" Brynjolf questioned calmly.
"I'm… I'm afraid she's having second thoughts… About us…" Vekel replied.
Guilt sprang to Brynjolf's eyes, but he was quick to mask it behind a look of sympathy. He was good at hiding the truth. He always had been. "You really love her, don't you?" Brynjolf remarked. He regretted asking right after.
"More than anything. I want to marry the woman. I would die a thousand times over for her," Vekel passionately replied, and no amount of skill was able to mask the painful and guilty cringe that came across Brynjolf's features.
"Maybe she's found someone better suited for her," Brynjolf murmured.
"No, anything but that… I would sooner die than lose her," Vekel forlornly said, gazing wretchedly down.
"I have to go. You, me, Delvin, and Dirge are still on for tonight, right?" Brynjolf quickly said.
"I wouldn't miss it," Vekel replied. Delvin, Dirge, and Brynjolf were his closest friends; that he wouldn't hesitate to admit. The four together were quite a group. People around the Flaggon had taken to calling them the Inseparables.
ES
It wasn't long after their conversation that rumors began to circulate, and the strain between the four men was obvious. It came to the point where Delvin completely backed off into himself. He wanted no part of whatever was happening between Brynjolf, Tonilia, and Vekel. He wouldn't choose sides. He supposed if things got bad, though, he would have to. He would choose Brynjolf he decided, should the time come, because Dirge was a little more proactive than him and had quickly risen to Vekel's defense. It was only fair that Delvin side with Brynjolf.
It was alarming, the rate at which the rumors flew. "I need you to do me a favor, Dirge," Tonilia said.
"Sure, Ton. You know I'm good for it," Dirge replied.
"There's a new guard nosing around the meadery. Can you do something about it?" she questioned.
"Gladly. He won't bother you anymore, I promise," Dirge vowed. He paused a moment and hesitated. Finally, carefully, he said, "Hey Ton…" She curiously looked back at him. "You shouldn't cheat on Vekel. He's a good guy," he stated gravely, concern for his friend evident in his eyes.
Tonilia started. She would have paled, had she not become an expert at hiding such reactions as that. "What are you talking about?" she asked a little too sharply.
"Come on, everyone knows about you and Brynjolf," Dirge replied.
"Well, everyone's wrong. Now why don't you just shut up about it!" she shot sharply. Swiftly she turned on her heel and stormed off.
ES
He suspected… she knew he suspected… That knowledge hurt her so deeply… He shouldn't have to be suspicious about her, he shouldn't… But what she was doing to him… Even now, as she was thinking about it all, she was in Brynjolf's arms, her legs wrapped around his waist… and she didn't know anymore to whom her heart belonged… Brynjolf's caresses were becoming less and less intimate, becoming more and more uncertain. When they were done and simply resting against each other, she asked, "What's wrong? Your touch… It's not like it used to be…"
"He's one of my dearest friends, him and Delvin and Dirge…" Brynjolf murmured. She cringed. Vekel… "What are we doing, Tonilia? Where is this going?" he questioned after a moment.
"I don't know," she answered.
"I never wanted to hurt him," Brynjolf muttered. She was silent. Neither had she… Neither had she…
ES
"Look, I need to know. What's going on between you and Brynjolf?" Vekel desperately pled. Please, my love, tell me. I swear I won't be angry, he silently pled… Just tell me the truth… We can work this out… What have I done to hurt you, to displease you…What have I done to lose your love…? That whatever my offense against you was would drive you into the arms of one of my best friends…
"How dare you! After all we've been through together? How can you do this to me!" she demanded, immediately terrified. Oh gods, he knew, he knew! No, this couldn't happen, it couldn't! Not now, not when she herself was so confused…
"Hey, hey. Sorry. I just get jealous when I hear rumors about you," he admitted, trying to pacify her. She was a fiery one. She always had been… He loved that about her… He loved her… Even now he believed that he would have forgiven her for her transgressions had she told him. Was that a stupid thing to do? Was he weak? Perhaps… but he couldn't let her go; he wouldn't… If nothing else he was determined and resolved.
Guilt and sorrow came to her eyes. She saw in that moment how much he loved her, how his eyes filled with unhappiness and helplessness and hurt. There was desperation, anger, and pain… and she hated herself in that moment more than ever before. "That's all they are… rumors. So quit worrying," she gently, reassuringly, said, placing the tips of her fingers against his cheeks.
He took her hands and brought her fingers to his lips, lovingly kissing them. "Why can't you just settle down and run the Flagon with me?" he whispered softly, nuzzling her, and she could feel with a painful pang the adoration and longing radiating from him.
"I don't want to settle. I like things the way they are," she answered, unable to meet his eyes.
"Come on, Ton. Marry me. Let me take care of you," he begged.
"I can take care of myself," she sharply replied, pulling away. She had to get out of there. She had to leave as quickly as possible. She couldn't-she couldn't do this; she couldn't! She didn't want to hurt him anymore. She didn't want to hurt him… Furiously she wiped away the tears in her eyes, willing herself not to cry. Even as Brynjolf called out to her she didn't stop. She wouldn't… Not this time… Vekel watched miserably after her, lips parted in pain and grief.
ES
"How could you do this to me?" Vekel questioned in a harsh whisper, finally having found a moment with Brynjolf alone. It had been an unexpected question. As far as Brynjolf had known they were just there to drink and talk.
Brynjolf froze, though, and slowly, fearfully, he looked up and met his friend's eyes. Was there a point in denying it anymore? He knew… They all did… "I never meant for it to happen," Brynjolf replied, but that was all he could offer anymore. If he could go back in time he would… but he couldn't…
"Do you love her?" Vekel dejectedly asked.
Slowly Brynjolf's lips parted. Finally he closed them, swallowing tightly. "I don't know," he answered. "I don't know…"
"And she… Does she love… Oh gods, how could you two do this to me?" Vekel moaned, burying his face in his hands as he silently began to weep. Brynjolf could take no more. Swiftly he rose and all but ran from that place, denying the burning sensation in his eyes.
ES
"You need to choose," he said flatly to her that night, before anything could happen. He doubted somehow, though, that anything would.
"What?" she asked.
"You need to choose! Is it him, or is it me…?" Brynjolf questioned.
"Brynjolf, I…" she began.
"No, no more avoiding. You need to face it, lass. One way or another, this ends here tonight. I can't do this anymore. I won't continue to hurt him; not like this. Either you choose, or I will," he stated, taking her hands in his and placing them against his chest.
Tears in her eyes, she replied, "You can't make my choices for me."
"Watch me!" he shouted. "Who do you love, Tonilia, and if you dare say you don't know…"
"But I don't!" she screamed, for the first time in as long as she could remember bursting into tears.
"I've ripped the heart of one of my best friends apart for you…! But I won't risk losing him for good. Not anymore. Not for you. Not when not even I don't know if all I feel when I'm around you is lust or love! He would die for you 1000 times over… He would die for you…" Brynjolf stated. "And ultimately I will put my love for him before my love for you, because I don't even know if what you and I have is love, anymore, or simply a guilty pleasure… But I know that hislove, loyalty, and friendship, are with me… At least they once were…"
ES
Tonilia was silent, unable to meet his eyes. What sort of a woman had she become? She had never intended for this; for any of it. Her heart had belonged to Vekel and Vekel alone. She would have done anything to become his wife… Yet every engagement offer he had made her—and there were many—she had rejected… For what… For a man she didn't love…? For a man she only lusted after…? What had she done…?
"I'm afraid for him," Brynjolf quietly said, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked quickly up. Did he know he'd spoken out loud? He caught her gaze and met her eyes. "I'm afraid for him…" he repeated.
"Why? What's he done?" Tonilia asked, a sense of very real dread shooting through her body.
"Day in and day out I have watched his heart shattering, watched him dying a little more inside, have seen him weeping when he thought he was the only one around… And I'm afraid that if he loses you, he will die…" Brynjolf said.
"Dying of a broken heart doesn't exist," she weakly whispered, but she doubted her own words. If felt, even now, as if she were dying of one…
"No… I fear he'll take his own life…" Brynjolf said. She sharply looked at him, terror in her eyes. "So you love him… You've made your choice…" Brynjolf quietly said, and he couldn't deny the hurt he felt in that moment.
She looked miserably down. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Gently he tilted her chin up, making her look him in the eyes. "Go to him, lass…" She kissed his cheek gratefully and fled without another word. He watched miserably after her then sighed. He would return to his stall in the market. Perhaps conning the citizens of Riften would help take his mind off of all of this.
ES
Tonilia raced into the Ragged Flaggon and looked desperately around. He was there behind the counter. He was alone, and his eyes were closed tightly and painfully as he sat. "Vekel!" she called out, running to him.
Lethargically he looked up. "Should I bother asking again if you will marry me?" he questioned quietly. "Or have you chosen my friend at last?"
"If I say yes, if I say I'll marry you, will you still have me?" she questioned.
He started, ever so slightly more alert. After a long moment he admitted, "I don't know…"
"I deserve even less… Had you said no flat out it would have still been too kind," she stated softly, voice cracking. "I cheated on you with Brynjolf. No, he and I don't love each other. No, it's over between him and me. Yes… I've chosen you… and I will do all in my power to win back your love and your trust… the love and the trust I so stupidly threw away…"
He rose slowly, gazing down at her. He still loved her… He still loved her… But could he ever trust her again? He doubted it very much. Without trust… without trust could this ever hope to work…? Did he love her enough to take that gamble? "I will take you back," he finally replied to his own surprise. "I forgive you…"
She sobbed, throwing herself into his arms and kissing him gratefully. Tightly he held her. He clung to her so desperately that she could hardly breathe. Finally they drew apart. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry about things between you and Brynjolf most of all. I know you once loved him like a brother… I can never forgive myself for that…"
"I would not disown my brother were he truly repentant for his crime against me," Vekel stated.
"He is. To see what it was doing to you… Oh if only you could have watched how piece by piece he died with every transgression we performed… It was killing him to watch, to know how badly he was hurting you." She looked up at him. "Do you know what he told me?" Vekel raised a curious eyebrow. "'I will put my love for him before my love for you,'" she quoted. Vekel started then grinned. Adoringly he took her lips once more.