"We have a code blue coming in in 20 seconds!" The paramedic radioed in to what Nicky assumed was the hospital.
"Copy that R-23. We will be ready in the Barron Wing." A woman's voice responded.
"What's code blue mean? What's happening? Is she ok?" Nicky had so many questions running through her mind she couldn't contain her sanity. She looked at Red who only just looked like she was sleeping and Nicky would have been convinced that she was if it wasn't for the giant gash in the back of her head.
"Shouldn't she be given blood or something? She lost so much! Didn't you see it? All that blood…" Nicky couldn't shake the heart lurching feeling she got when she thought about just how much left Red's body.
The ambulance stopped and the back doors flew open. Two men, one a nurse and one a doctor, grabbed the ends of the stretcher and pulled it out, wheeling it through sliding automatic doors.
"Is she going to be ok?" Nicky yelled while climbing out of the ambulance. Why wasn't anyone answering her? She ran after her mother. All Nicky could hear was the paramedic talking medical terms to the doctor and the doctor agreeing and understanding.
"What is happening to her mother?" Nicky called out again.
She looked at Red who still appeared to be sleeping. While they were walking, a different nurse had given her a fresh IV and was removing the bandages from Red's head. Her hair, her beautiful hair, was caked with dried blood and most of it was matted to parts around her face and ears. Her skin was extremely pale, almost blue in color. She looked dead already.
"Mommy…" Nicky whispered.
"I'm sorry ma'am but she has to be taken into emergency surgery. The waiting room is just down the hall and to the left. "The doctor was explaining, sounding calm which only frustrated Nicky.
"How long is it going to take?" Nicky was frantic once again but relieved that finally someone was talking to her.
"We won't know exactly until we are able to get in there and exam the wound and see the entirety of the damage. My estimation is about 3 or 4 hours."
"Oh my God. Oh my God. Ok, ok, umm…is she going to be ok?"
"Again, ma'am that isn't something we will know until we are able to examine the wound and its damage in full." The doctor replied politely.
"When can I see her?" Nicky was desperate to see her mother the moment she left the ambulance just 3 or so minutes ago.
"If the surgery goes well, I would imagine shortly after she gets settled into the recovery room."
"Will she be awake?"
"That I do not know. Her state of mind and any brain damage she may have, and probably did suffer, whether it be temporary or permanent, will only be known to s once she is awake and alert. And that is what is unknown. I am sorry I cannot offer you any more information. I must go and begin the surgery." And just like that, the doctor left Nicky standing in the hallway.
Brain damage? Permanent? Nicky was not in a good way. Her mind kept repeating those words to herself. The moment the doctor said brain damage, everything else became fuzzy. The moment he said permanent, the refocused and became even more fuzzy.
Nicky felt dizzy herself and light headed. She decided it was best to go and sit and wait.
She reached the waiting room and sat down in the chair facing the door so she could immediately see once the doctor walked back in.
She had no words. She almost had no thoughts. Nicky had never felt so numb. It was the kind of feeling that she couldn't know what it feels like until it hit her. Like a dark and deep cold hole was carved out of her heart. A hollow and paralyzing type of cold and empty feeling that started within her core and rose to her surface to be seen as she wore the expression so openly on her face which portrayed, to any onlooker, as though she were told she was dying faster than they had expected. Red was her lifeline in a very serious way and Nicky meant it when she told Red if she goes then Nicky will go too.
Nicky looked at the clock.
12:04am.
Yesterday at 12:04am, Nicky was asleep in her bed and Red was asleep in her bed. They usually call it a night around 11 or so.
There was so much blood.
That is the one thing Nicky could not shake from her mind. She was sure that she never would be able to. How traumatizing it was to find her mother practically dead, lying on the shower floor with an unnerving amount of blood leaking from the back of her head. Nicky literally got cold from this thought and got up to ask the nurse at the nurse's station if she could have one of those heated blankets.
Nicky took the blanket that was being handed to her, thanked the nurse, and returned to the chair in the waiting room. She wrapped the giant blanket around her shoulders and pulled her legs up to her chest. She was warm.
The nurse peaked her head in the door way of the waiting room, "Can I get you anything to eat or drink? Coffee or tea?"
"No, thank you." Nicky said, trying to sound as polite as she could.
"Well, let me know if you change your mind. And you've got that blanket there that must be keeping you cozy. In a place like this hospital, it's the most comfort you're going to find." And the she left.
No. The most comfort Nicky could find in this hospital was currently unconscious, lying on a metal operating table with her head being stitched, or stapled or whatever they do, back together, most likely having some type of brain damage sink in, and not knowing if she would ever open her eyes again. That was her comfort, her mother.